Everything I live and preach comes down to this central understanding and belief - HER BABY'S LIFE IS WORTH $10 TRILLION - and that "she" makes this choice out of preference - it feels better than the $10 trillion would make her feel.
What this situation proves is that Joy (that comes from advancing the life of "the least of these" - her baby in my example) trumps Pleasure ($10 trillion). THIS IS ROOTED IN OUR DNA.
What I give my life to lead people to is - all waking hours experiencing Joy / Life / Truth fully. Experience of Joy / Life / Truth happens with certainty, and only happens at all when one keeps theirself, acting from from their heart Heart / Soul, in the service of "the least of these (their baby, Darfuries, Palestinians, inner city youth....)" When the nervous system senses that service of "the least of these" is happening, the chemical cocktail Joy is released. Unlike the cocktail "pleasure" the Joy cocktail can flow with undiminished effect the waking part of 24/7 X 100 years!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and [that] your joy may be complete. (Jn. 15:9-11)
5.04.2007
PROSTITUTION: "DEVOTING ONE'S TALENT TO UNWORTHY CAUSE..."
PROSTITUTION: 2. The act or an instance of offering or devoting one's talent to an unworthy use or cause. American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source
"History is made by... people who commit their lives..." Dave Dellinger
"History is made by people who commit themselves, their lives, and their energies to the struggle." David Dellinger
5.03.2007
"Witness;" this word is applied to me. VISION is meant?
The first time I remember hearing the word "witness" was from the writer that did the 12/31/01 Phila Inquirer article on the work I was doing for the children in Chester, PA. Months before the article come out he was interviewing me at a diner and told me I was a "witness." I had no idea what he was talking about. I did not understand it then. I am just beginning to understand.
The next times I recall hearing "witness" was from the God-send of a writer of the Washington Post article Start Loving, Day 64 Sudan Embassy Hunger Strike (A Hunger For Justice : Darfur Becomes One Man's Cause for Deprivation Delphine Schrank, C01 (Post) Washington Post, April 14, 2007). She frequently spoke of "witness" in conjunction with me.
Now, what I HAVE long associated with myself is Vision - seeing things that others don't: crucial situations, dire threats, enormous opportunities, paths toward achievement of those opportunities. I suspect that what these others have called "witness" corresponds closely to the capacity I seem to have for Vision.
I'm guessing that their word "witness" captures an aspect of behavior - the "witness" becomes a moral captive of what they have seen - knowledge is responsibility. The witness is obligated to act.
This is how I feel when a Vision developes within me and captivates me. Currently the Visions that captivate me are of:
The next times I recall hearing "witness" was from the God-send of a writer of the Washington Post article Start Loving, Day 64 Sudan Embassy Hunger Strike (A Hunger For Justice : Darfur Becomes One Man's Cause for Deprivation Delphine Schrank, C01 (Post) Washington Post, April 14, 2007). She frequently spoke of "witness" in conjunction with me.
Now, what I HAVE long associated with myself is Vision - seeing things that others don't: crucial situations, dire threats, enormous opportunities, paths toward achievement of those opportunities. I suspect that what these others have called "witness" corresponds closely to the capacity I seem to have for Vision.
I'm guessing that their word "witness" captures an aspect of behavior - the "witness" becomes a moral captive of what they have seen - knowledge is responsibility. The witness is obligated to act.
This is how I feel when a Vision developes within me and captivates me. Currently the Visions that captivate me are of:
- The easy and crucial Rescue and Restore of Darfur;
- The Redemption of our lost Humanity by the crying need of our Darfur family before so little Humanity is left on earth that entropy finishes us off;
- That "global family" must finally and immediately come to reign or it is game over for InHumane earth;
- That Heaven on Earth is immediately available to each and any person that dedicates themself to being "family" to all of Humanity.
10. "For Thine is the Kingdom, Power, Glory...."
I never even had the slightest interest in this part of the Our Father.
Now, it is quite significant to me - because it has become concrete and clear for me that it is absolutely and completely true.
We choose the Kingdom in which we reside. The vast majority of us select the Kingdom of Selfishness / Evil. This kingdom is a cesspool of pleasure, completely devoid of Joy, Life, Love, Peace, Hope, future.
Jesus died to get us to choose His Father's Kingdom - THE HEART - Love, Life, Joy, Truth, Peace, Hope, Future. I live there now pretty much. IT IS THE ONLY KINGDOM, the only place to Live. It is the greatest power in the universe- Love, Truth, Life ARE God - the all powerful. This is the Kingdom / Life of Glory, there is no other.
Now, it is quite significant to me - because it has become concrete and clear for me that it is absolutely and completely true.
We choose the Kingdom in which we reside. The vast majority of us select the Kingdom of Selfishness / Evil. This kingdom is a cesspool of pleasure, completely devoid of Joy, Life, Love, Peace, Hope, future.
Jesus died to get us to choose His Father's Kingdom - THE HEART - Love, Life, Joy, Truth, Peace, Hope, Future. I live there now pretty much. IT IS THE ONLY KINGDOM, the only place to Live. It is the greatest power in the universe- Love, Truth, Life ARE God - the all powerful. This is the Kingdom / Life of Glory, there is no other.
FAMILY TO YOU? CARETAKERS OF YOUR LEAST OF THESE
What if your family is Darfur? Haiti? Congo? Palestine?...
Then it would seem you do not have a family to you. This is quite endurable, but profoundly tragic.
Oh God, we must "wake up and see we are all family;" Start Loving.
Yes of course you are always a family to all.
Then it would seem you do not have a family to you. This is quite endurable, but profoundly tragic.
Oh God, we must "wake up and see we are all family;" Start Loving.
Yes of course you are always a family to all.
JOB #1: CREATE PEACEMAKER COMMUNITIES FOR YOUTH
Whether imaginary or real, God will ask we who kinda get it: WHAT DID YOU DO TO CREATE "GREENHOUSES" FOR THE TEENS AND EARLY 20'S THAT HAD SOME HEART/LIFE LEFT? THEY WERE OUR ENTIRE HOPE.
Every week maybe two marvelous young souls find me. They don't have a chance. Who will encourage their Humanity? Who will shelter, encourage, train, teach, labor with them? They are completely at the mercy of the Beast - the US military industrial complex.
There is no hope until this changes. We must become the Church in fact, not name. We must protect our "children" from otherwise certain death.
Every week maybe two marvelous young souls find me. They don't have a chance. Who will encourage their Humanity? Who will shelter, encourage, train, teach, labor with them? They are completely at the mercy of the Beast - the US military industrial complex.
There is no hope until this changes. We must become the Church in fact, not name. We must protect our "children" from otherwise certain death.
We are killing our children by their late teens
I've said this before but my experience with the Darfur "activists," presumably the MOST alive of the college crowd is way past alarming.
Today for example a group of DC university student "activists" had a meeting with the Sudan Embassy Ambassador ostensibly to convince him to end the genocide. There were about 20 0f them. Most arrived late. Their attire, posture and demeanor said, "F--- man, kill the dude's if you want, I've gotta go party." Shorts, headphones, late, casual, jocular....
Oh my God, these children are walking corpses / consumers. They are screwed into The Matrix and loving it. Never has the status quo devoured our young at such an early stage in their lives. This is the mark of the Beast; a precurser of the end-times.
No matter what the circumstances, the worst betrayal will always be to subordinate ourselves to this Apparatus, and to trample underfoot, in its service, all human values in ourselves and in others..." Reflections on War, Simone Weil
Today for example a group of DC university student "activists" had a meeting with the Sudan Embassy Ambassador ostensibly to convince him to end the genocide. There were about 20 0f them. Most arrived late. Their attire, posture and demeanor said, "F--- man, kill the dude's if you want, I've gotta go party." Shorts, headphones, late, casual, jocular....
Oh my God, these children are walking corpses / consumers. They are screwed into The Matrix and loving it. Never has the status quo devoured our young at such an early stage in their lives. This is the mark of the Beast; a precurser of the end-times.
No matter what the circumstances, the worst betrayal will always be to subordinate ourselves to this Apparatus, and to trample underfoot, in its service, all human values in ourselves and in others..." Reflections on War, Simone Weil
Complete quote: "But the impotence one feels today—an impotence we should never consider permanent—does not excuse one from remaining true to oneself, nor does it excuse capitulation to the enemy, what ever mask he may wear. Whether the mask is labeled fascism, democracy, or dictatorship of the proletariat, our great adversary remains The Apparatus—the bureaucracy, the police, the military. Not the one facing us across the frontier or the battle lines, which is not so much our enemy as our brothers’ enemy, but the one that calls itself our protector and makes us its slaves. No matter what the circumstances, the worst betrayal will always be to subordinate ourselves to this Apparatus, and to trample underfoot, in its service, all human values in ourselves and in others."
LIFE SERVICE NOT LIP SERVICE
For now this will have to do: ACTIVIST HYPOCRICY: LIP SERVICE BUYS NO MERCEDES. It is very worth the read.
GOD'S WILL: GATHER HEARTS FOR THE LEAST OF THESE HER FAMILY
Heart, Love, Global Family - It is astonishing to me that I've studied a lifetime only to see how simple and "childlike" is what God calls us to devote our lives to entirely.
Start, how can it be so simple? Trivial but apt analogy: You have 10,000 numbers to add; how can it be so simple as turning on a computer with Excel spreadsheet software?!??!
The Heart is God (Love, Life, Truth) - the all-powerful. The Heart is what is wise enought, strong enough, courageous enough, miraculous enough to create Heaven on Earth.
Start, how can it be so simple? Trivial but apt analogy: You have 10,000 numbers to add; how can it be so simple as turning on a computer with Excel spreadsheet software?!??!
The Heart is God (Love, Life, Truth) - the all-powerful. The Heart is what is wise enought, strong enough, courageous enough, miraculous enough to create Heaven on Earth.
OPEN HEART SURGERY
OPEN HEART SURGERY - this is how I conceive of the work I am called to do in front of the Sudan Embassy, and for the rest of my life 24/7. This is a way of naming what Jesus died to call us to - to open our own hearts and thereby maximize the chances of opening, "Saving" the hearts of our brothers and sisters.
4.28.2007
At the auction: "I bid my life for theirs!"
The point of this post is to share my thoughts within recent hours of how the actions of people set "value" in an extremely powerful way.
Example: Imagine that a knowledgeable art crowd is an auction. All feel that they have familiarized themselves with the pieces. Many note the odd ash tray and wonder whether it is a joke! When bidding begins on the items, the ash tray leads.
"I bid $1,000,000 on the ash tray," says a noted art expert. The crowd is electrified right? What is the enormous value of this that they overlooked?!?!??! The value of the ash tray just went from zero to millions!
Conversely, if the only bids on the astray were a few dollars then that is its value.
ALL WE ARE BIDDING SO FAR IS A FEW DOLLARS ON DARFUR.
ERIC REEVE OF SMITH COLLEGE IN THE FACE OF LEUKEMIA IS BIDDING HIS LIFE. I AM TRYING TO DO THE SAME... TRYING TO BID UP THE VALUE OF DARFUR LIVES.
Example: Imagine that a knowledgeable art crowd is an auction. All feel that they have familiarized themselves with the pieces. Many note the odd ash tray and wonder whether it is a joke! When bidding begins on the items, the ash tray leads.
"I bid $1,000,000 on the ash tray," says a noted art expert. The crowd is electrified right? What is the enormous value of this that they overlooked?!?!??! The value of the ash tray just went from zero to millions!
Conversely, if the only bids on the astray were a few dollars then that is its value.
ALL WE ARE BIDDING SO FAR IS A FEW DOLLARS ON DARFUR.
ERIC REEVE OF SMITH COLLEGE IN THE FACE OF LEUKEMIA IS BIDDING HIS LIFE. I AM TRYING TO DO THE SAME... TRYING TO BID UP THE VALUE OF DARFUR LIVES.
Living in the face of Emergencies - Where Jesus wants Start
Well, it seems that Start is called to live in the face of emergencies; not to say that we all are not. But certainly it seems that I am.
Strategically this makes sense that Jesus would want me / us to Live there - in the face of emergencies:
* Wake us up now to see we all are family (see post below.) The example that comes to me so frequently is that of a house fire with a community bucket brigade to fight it. The perfect example of how emergency can remind us all that we are family. An emergency can evoke this, wake up our sense of universal "family" as nothing else can.
* Where else besides an "emergency" in a world filled with them would a brother, Jesus want his brothers and sisters to be?
"As you do unto the least of these you do unto me."
"Do unto others all that you would have them do unto you."
Strategically this makes sense that Jesus would want me / us to Live there - in the face of emergencies:
* Wake us up now to see we all are family (see post below.) The example that comes to me so frequently is that of a house fire with a community bucket brigade to fight it. The perfect example of how emergency can remind us all that we are family. An emergency can evoke this, wake up our sense of universal "family" as nothing else can.
* Where else besides an "emergency" in a world filled with them would a brother, Jesus want his brothers and sisters to be?
"As you do unto the least of these you do unto me."
"Do unto others all that you would have them do unto you."
NEVER AGAIN DENY OUR FAMILY EMERGENCIES
I have throughout mylife: Nicaragua, Brazil, Civil Rights, Vietnam War, Rwanda, Cambodia, Sri Lanka, East Timor, Balkins, Katrina, Haiti, Poverty, Starvation, Aids....
Never Again for me, I hope; I expect; I desire. Life happens in the face of Emergencies.
Never Again for me, I hope; I expect; I desire. Life happens in the face of Emergencies.
WAKE US UP NOW TO SEE WE ARE ALL FAMILY
Well, when this phrase, when this mantra emerged in my mind Tuesday as I sought to distract myself from thinking about the reaction of passers-by to the new posters, I wept and wept. It was overwhelmingly joyful to finally, FINALLY understand what this Darfur call that has so long posessed me is all about, what Jesus is all about, what the hope for Humanity is all about.
WAKE US UP NOW TO SEE WE ARE ALL FAMILY
This is what Jesus attempted and pulled off for about 200 years. This is what Gandhi attempted and pulled off for years following the direction of Jesus and Tolstoy. This is what SNCC and King and a few others pulled off for several years in the 1960s.
Oh, sometime I hope to have the time and energy to give the references and sitations to back this up by if you search your own heart and recollections I think you'll see it.
The key notions are:
1. "We all are family" is written on our heart!
2. "Wake is up now" is the strategic opportunity and the only strategic hope!
How?
A. Find it and deliberately awaken it within your self
B. Live it
C. Repeat! In living universal "family" you will demonstrate a way of being that we all have experienced at one moment or another and remind us. Do this enough and it is awakened in others!
Be the change you want to see.
WAKE US UP NOW TO SEE WE ARE ALL FAMILY
This is what Jesus attempted and pulled off for about 200 years. This is what Gandhi attempted and pulled off for years following the direction of Jesus and Tolstoy. This is what SNCC and King and a few others pulled off for several years in the 1960s.
Oh, sometime I hope to have the time and energy to give the references and sitations to back this up by if you search your own heart and recollections I think you'll see it.
The key notions are:
1. "We all are family" is written on our heart!
2. "Wake is up now" is the strategic opportunity and the only strategic hope!
How?
A. Find it and deliberately awaken it within your self
B. Live it
C. Repeat! In living universal "family" you will demonstrate a way of being that we all have experienced at one moment or another and remind us. Do this enough and it is awakened in others!
Be the change you want to see.
4.25.2007
SOLIDARITY: PERFECT ENCAPSULATION OF JESUS
Solidarity. I think this may be the perfect, complete encapsulation of what Jesus died to teach us. PLEASE MASTER THIS! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE:
JESUS TAUGHT US: SPIRIT IS EVERYTHING
Not for me, but for you and God. It is the single biggest reason He/She/It put me here.
Please.
JESUS TAUGHT US: SPIRIT IS EVERYTHING
Not for me, but for you and God. It is the single biggest reason He/She/It put me here.
Please.
Friends of the Darfur Hunger Strike campaign recently
In no particular order (Oh, PLEASE, PLEASE forgive me for all of you I've overlooked or unappreciated at 4:41am this morning!):
- Ellen - OK. She is the lifeline on the whole thing. God, thank you for sending Ellen. Loving, cheerful, courageous, brave, relentless, thoughtful, resourceful, skillful....
- Will - basically homeless and without funds I think - supplies and pays air time for a cell phone he has put at my disposal. God, thank you for Will. Bless his heart.
- Mary Rachel and Dave - Always there for Start's Cross carryings. Unimaginable courage, kindness, faith and goodness. I must not get in the way of their all important now finding and carrying their own Crosses. Angels.
- Evelyn Clark - Well, you all need to know her. An Angel - a channel to God's love, life, and understanding. Did you see Dogma? Evelyn is God in Dogma.
- Delphine Schrank - Simply sent by God to publicize the Hunger Strike. A miracle of talent, will, heart, understanding, articulation....
- Frank LaRusso - just showed up! I'll sit in for four hours. I was just being picked up so it didn't work out, but it may in the future.
- Alex - A young architect that lives 2 miles away. Bought some Ensure, and Vitimin water for the campaign that he brings from time to time.
- Andres and friend - Amnesty International. Came by for spiritual / moral support the other night. I suspect and hope they will be back.
- Anthony - Amnesty international. Nice kindness and moral support so far. Brought V8.
- Rebecca - seeking so ardently a community truly of Jesus. A great friend. Brings V8, love, passion, excitement, sun screan....
- Beverly - my pit-bull of love.
- Timothy - My South Africa freedom fighter friend came through well for the crucial Washington Post article.
- Graham - A young Med student at Howard deeply concerned in a healthy way for my physical well being. Extremely sensitive, wise and searching for how to live in the face of Genocide. Will I suspect become a Dr. that helps the world.
- West European friend - 40ish man that wants me to have a medical attendant. Is seriously and intelligently trying. God bless him.
- Ace - Young refugee from Congo at Grafixx that donated the tattoo. A warrior needing a family.
- Fellow at FedEx/Kinkos - My credit card bounced today, and a young fella would hear only of accepting the cash I had an "handling" the rest.
- Parelles - Anthony had just been a ridiculously generous supporter and brother all through the winter. God, bless his heart.
- Thomas - Moses in our midst, when he chooses to bless us / me.
- Save Darfur ladies - I distance myself from these groups of chatty, laughing, poster holding folks that unthinkingly are a desecration to our Darfur family in the 4th year of a genocide. Several ladies have crossed the divide to the extent of opening dialog and providing water. God, encourage and bless them.
- Sister Each - My beloved Buddhist Nun sister that fights for peace with relentless courage, loves me, and drummed next to me at the Embassy for hours last week.
- Mike Walli - A guest at the Dorothy Day house that came by to visit several days ago. One of the great Warriors of Revolutionary Brotherhood I've ever met - much jail and prison time in the service of the least of these. Courageous search for the real teachings of Jesus.
BE THE SUFFERING AND GRIEF YOU WANT TO SEE ELIMINATED
"BE THE SUFFERING AND GRIEF YOU WANT TO SEE ELIMINATED," Start Loving.
Companion to Gandhi's: "Be the change you want to see."
Companion to Gandhi's: "Be the change you want to see."
4.24.2007
YOUR OWN CROSS: YOUR BEST GIFT EVER!!!!
Oh, so often over the last five years since Chester I have been pleading with our Father, begging him, BEGGING HIM:
Father? You have given me so many gifts to share - courage, compassion, vision, hunger to act, hunger to serve, articulation, wisdom, independence, technical skills, leadership abilities.... PLEASE GIVE ME A PLATFORM THAT CAN ENABLE ME TO BE OF SOME SERVICE WITH THESE GIFTS.
The only great psychiatrists/psychologists in their own way entirely predict this deep, overwhelming yearning among all humans that have not been brutally dehumanized / pathologized - Maslow, Adler, Csikszentmihilyi, Rogers. But in this case Frankl comes to mind:
"Man's Search for meaning is the primary motivation in his life and not a 'secondary rationalization' of instinctual drives. This meaning is unique and specific in that it must and can be fulfilled by him alone; only then does it achieve a significance which will satisfy his own will to meaning... Man, however, is able to live and even to die for the sake of his ideals and values!" Holocaust survivor, psychiatrist Dr. Victor Frankl (Man's Search For Meaning)
The last time I had such a platform was as school counselor at Columbus Elementary in Chester, PA. Possibly the largest, lowest performing elementary school in the country. Possibly the most important work I've ever done in my life was there, voluntarily 2-4 hours per day cleaning all scraps of mountains of trash from the grounds before students and staff arrived in the morning. It was an enormous lift to the 1,200 students and 100 or more staff members. I never thought I could be so FULFILLED - WELL USED again.
DARFUR HUNGER STRIKE - SUDAN EMBASSY - EMBASSY ROW - MASS. AVE CORRIDOR - WASHINGTON POST ARTICLE.
This is quite a cross: I'm sure I have never been so physically suffering as the 4th-12th hour of marching, and the next 8 hours attempting to rest with joints that are just screaming.
This is quite a cross: The agony of my Western brothers and sisters with their brutally and cruelly starved, grotesque and emaciated Hearts. The agony of my spiritually and materially starved masses worldwide.
A reporter from a Spanish twice weekly paper interviewed me the other day. "You have taken the whole world on your shoulders," he observed. That thought had never occurred to me. I have, with no expectation of succeeding, but every desire to give my life to the attempt.
THE CROSS IS AGONY. YOU DON'T WANT TO SHARE YOUR CROSS. IT IS A BENEVOLENT GREED. "THIS IS MY OPPORTUNITY TO SERVE; I'VE PRAYED FOR IT. THANK GOD I'VE GOT IT. I WANT EVERY SPECK OF IT."
Father? You have given me so many gifts to share - courage, compassion, vision, hunger to act, hunger to serve, articulation, wisdom, independence, technical skills, leadership abilities.... PLEASE GIVE ME A PLATFORM THAT CAN ENABLE ME TO BE OF SOME SERVICE WITH THESE GIFTS.
The only great psychiatrists/psychologists in their own way entirely predict this deep, overwhelming yearning among all humans that have not been brutally dehumanized / pathologized - Maslow, Adler, Csikszentmihilyi, Rogers. But in this case Frankl comes to mind:
"Man's Search for meaning is the primary motivation in his life and not a 'secondary rationalization' of instinctual drives. This meaning is unique and specific in that it must and can be fulfilled by him alone; only then does it achieve a significance which will satisfy his own will to meaning... Man, however, is able to live and even to die for the sake of his ideals and values!" Holocaust survivor, psychiatrist Dr. Victor Frankl (Man's Search For Meaning)
The last time I had such a platform was as school counselor at Columbus Elementary in Chester, PA. Possibly the largest, lowest performing elementary school in the country. Possibly the most important work I've ever done in my life was there, voluntarily 2-4 hours per day cleaning all scraps of mountains of trash from the grounds before students and staff arrived in the morning. It was an enormous lift to the 1,200 students and 100 or more staff members. I never thought I could be so FULFILLED - WELL USED again.
DARFUR HUNGER STRIKE - SUDAN EMBASSY - EMBASSY ROW - MASS. AVE CORRIDOR - WASHINGTON POST ARTICLE.
This is quite a cross: I'm sure I have never been so physically suffering as the 4th-12th hour of marching, and the next 8 hours attempting to rest with joints that are just screaming.
This is quite a cross: The agony of my Western brothers and sisters with their brutally and cruelly starved, grotesque and emaciated Hearts. The agony of my spiritually and materially starved masses worldwide.
A reporter from a Spanish twice weekly paper interviewed me the other day. "You have taken the whole world on your shoulders," he observed. That thought had never occurred to me. I have, with no expectation of succeeding, but every desire to give my life to the attempt.
THE CROSS IS AGONY. YOU DON'T WANT TO SHARE YOUR CROSS. IT IS A BENEVOLENT GREED. "THIS IS MY OPPORTUNITY TO SERVE; I'VE PRAYED FOR IT. THANK GOD I'VE GOT IT. I WANT EVERY SPECK OF IT."
New posters
Two will show at the Embassy at a time (front and back laminated 28/25".)
With any luck I also will, like Auschwitz victims be fully shorn today sometime.
DARFUR GENOCIDE WILL STOP WHEN THE WORLD WEEPS
Someone or something must enable the world to weep from deep in the soul at the grief and suffering of that Darfur part of our body, a part of our body from which we are so pathologically divorced.
Me and anyone else that wants the Genocide to end - this is the goal we must serve - enabling the weeping by the world from deep in the soul at the grief and suffering of their Darfur body.
Jesus did this. Gandhi did this. Teresa did this. Virtually every Hero real and imagined does this - sees, becomes, embodies and thereby spreads the grief and suffering - RECONNECTING / REUNITINE ALL PARTS OF THE BODY OF HUMANKIND; A SURGICAL RECONSTRUCTION / REPAIR OF THE MOST PROFOUNDLY HEALING KIND, if you will.
I'm off! It is a race against time. There are about four of us weeping now. Four must become eight, sixteen.... Must try to sew us all back into one body, one family.
Me and anyone else that wants the Genocide to end - this is the goal we must serve - enabling the weeping by the world from deep in the soul at the grief and suffering of their Darfur body.
Jesus did this. Gandhi did this. Teresa did this. Virtually every Hero real and imagined does this - sees, becomes, embodies and thereby spreads the grief and suffering - RECONNECTING / REUNITINE ALL PARTS OF THE BODY OF HUMANKIND; A SURGICAL RECONSTRUCTION / REPAIR OF THE MOST PROFOUNDLY HEALING KIND, if you will.
I'm off! It is a race against time. There are about four of us weeping now. Four must become eight, sixteen.... Must try to sew us all back into one body, one family.
If you know, you cannot NOT act
"If you know, you cannot NOT act," Start Loving. This is a correlary to a post of several days ago. Old Eastern wisdom: "If you know and you do not do, you do not know."
Teresa of Calcutta spoke in a similar veign: "Love cannot remain passive in the presence of suffering."
Teresa of Calcutta spoke in a similar veign: "Love cannot remain passive in the presence of suffering."
WHAT PARENT WOULD FAVOR ONE CHILD OVER ANOTHER?
WHAT PARENT WOULD DIVIDE THE FAMILY, SPLITTING OFF ONE OR TWO FAVORED CHILDREN, THEREBY DIVIRCING THOSE FROM THE MASS OF THEIR REAL FAMILY / SIBLINGS / AUNTS / UNCLES...????!?!?!?
No good parent would do this. But this is exactly what our American Values have is do regarding non-bionically related folks.
Even with a fresher brain than I have now at 2:30am I usually cannot think of an example as good as Evelyn Clark and her family (http://clarkid.blogspot.com/) of how to Live as a family in this most toxic of all times in history.
The essence of what I witnessed was a young family, the Captains Clark of the Chester Salvation Army, lovingly, courageously, simply, unwaveringly, humbly bringing up their young family (daughter about 7, son about 12 at the time) in, at and around blighted Chester Salvation Army. The Catholic Workers are a distant second and some of the healthier Amish, Mennonite and Brethren Communities a more distant third in my limited view of how to be community / family and raise children.
No good parent would do this. But this is exactly what our American Values have is do regarding non-bionically related folks.
Even with a fresher brain than I have now at 2:30am I usually cannot think of an example as good as Evelyn Clark and her family (http://clarkid.blogspot.com/) of how to Live as a family in this most toxic of all times in history.
The essence of what I witnessed was a young family, the Captains Clark of the Chester Salvation Army, lovingly, courageously, simply, unwaveringly, humbly bringing up their young family (daughter about 7, son about 12 at the time) in, at and around blighted Chester Salvation Army. The Catholic Workers are a distant second and some of the healthier Amish, Mennonite and Brethren Communities a more distant third in my limited view of how to be community / family and raise children.
WHEN NO LONGER A "GOD" LIGHTENING RECREATED US
Because, then, when we got past being blinded by the awesomeness of lightening, we felt empowered to understand and work with that great force. Ancient tribes did little besides experience the "wonder" of lightening and there is MUCH to be gained from that. But when Franklin combined the "wonder" with desire for the Truth there was the release of an explosive potential.
“The day will come when after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And on that day for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire." This is a quote of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
"We must finally harness, and be harnessed by Love, Life and Truth or tomorrow will be inescapable Hell," Start Loving
“The day will come when after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And on that day for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire." This is a quote of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
"We must finally harness, and be harnessed by Love, Life and Truth or tomorrow will be inescapable Hell," Start Loving
"Love/Life/Truth is God" tells us more than "God is Love/Life/Truth"
"Love / Life / Truth is God," Start Loving
"God is love, life, truth," Gandhi. With this Gandhi might be understood to imply that these things are PART of God, right?
My best estimate is that these ARE the ENTIRETY OF GOD, and as such are infinitely awesome, utterly ungraspable, breathtaking and miraculous in their power.... They are indeed:
* Truth - trivial example but think of the movie "Twelve Angry Men." As Dr. King said, "Truth crushed to earth will rise again." Our defenses against the truth rival anything the Pentagon has yet devised because if and when the Truth makes it past our defenses our old self dies a certain death. There is no resisting the Truth once it hits the heart.
* Life - "Life" of the Divine/overwhelming/awe-inspiring sort actually "has" us, not the other way around right? "Life" of this sort "has," Lives / Owns / Possesses / Moves us, right? It is the power of God. Life is the all powerful God.
* Love - Love, NOT LUST (that is what today we totally equate to Love in ENTIRE ERROR - they are OPPOSITES!), is like a raging river on which we are but a leaf, no? Love is God - an all powerful force that when we let ourselves enter in carries us with a force, wisdom, brilliance, intelligence... that we never will be able to fathom. Love is God - the Magnificent, always beyond our comprehension, Divine God.
"God is love, life, truth," Gandhi. With this Gandhi might be understood to imply that these things are PART of God, right?
My best estimate is that these ARE the ENTIRETY OF GOD, and as such are infinitely awesome, utterly ungraspable, breathtaking and miraculous in their power.... They are indeed:
* Truth - trivial example but think of the movie "Twelve Angry Men." As Dr. King said, "Truth crushed to earth will rise again." Our defenses against the truth rival anything the Pentagon has yet devised because if and when the Truth makes it past our defenses our old self dies a certain death. There is no resisting the Truth once it hits the heart.
* Life - "Life" of the Divine/overwhelming/awe-inspiring sort actually "has" us, not the other way around right? "Life" of this sort "has," Lives / Owns / Possesses / Moves us, right? It is the power of God. Life is the all powerful God.
* Love - Love, NOT LUST (that is what today we totally equate to Love in ENTIRE ERROR - they are OPPOSITES!), is like a raging river on which we are but a leaf, no? Love is God - an all powerful force that when we let ourselves enter in carries us with a force, wisdom, brilliance, intelligence... that we never will be able to fathom. Love is God - the Magnificent, always beyond our comprehension, Divine God.
Not JUSTICE! GOD'S WORK IS HUMANITY/BROTHERHOOD!
The writers keep getting me wrong.
Justice is of the head. Not enough wisdom, strength, courage or heart there.
Why does everyone get this wrong about me? It is global "Humanity," "Live," "Brotherhood," and our complete "Joy" that I starve for. These are things of the Heart. I starve for our Hearts to come alive! I starve for us to wake up and see that we are all family. :-) NOT JUSTICE. Justice is a thing largely of the mind, of Thinking. Thinking is killing us. Start Loving. Dan Hardy that did that blessed Phila Inquirer article did the same. Others that know me and respect me much more frequently than not - "Oh, you love Justice more than anyone I've ever met!" (an African American Methodist pastor from affluent West Chester.) No! It is PEOPLE, my brothers and sisters that I love.
Justice is of the head. Not enough wisdom, strength, courage or heart there.
Why does everyone get this wrong about me? It is global "Humanity," "Live," "Brotherhood," and our complete "Joy" that I starve for. These are things of the Heart. I starve for our Hearts to come alive! I starve for us to wake up and see that we are all family. :-) NOT JUSTICE. Justice is a thing largely of the mind, of Thinking. Thinking is killing us. Start Loving. Dan Hardy that did that blessed Phila Inquirer article did the same. Others that know me and respect me much more frequently than not - "Oh, you love Justice more than anyone I've ever met!" (an African American Methodist pastor from affluent West Chester.) No! It is PEOPLE, my brothers and sisters that I love.
Save Darfur? Make people grieve from their souls.
Hunger Strike.
Who is the biblical character, women, whose son was killed by the King and by decree his body was left unprotected so the wild beasts would descerate it?
Well, she defied the king and protected the body of her son with her life all summer. Finally the king's heart melted.
She became, BECAME God's grief embodied and this the King's cold heart cold not withstand.
Someone must do this for Darfur to melt the cold hearts of we US brothers and sisters.
Vicarious learning.
Who is the biblical character, women, whose son was killed by the King and by decree his body was left unprotected so the wild beasts would descerate it?
Well, she defied the king and protected the body of her son with her life all summer. Finally the king's heart melted.
She became, BECAME God's grief embodied and this the King's cold heart cold not withstand.
Someone must do this for Darfur to melt the cold hearts of we US brothers and sisters.
Vicarious learning.
Ultimate Attention Getters: Risk of Death/Suffering
Hunger Strike.
No wonder I've been drawn to this.
Now, have we all honed defenses against just about EVERYTHING? Yes.
No wonder I've been drawn to this.
Now, have we all honed defenses against just about EVERYTHING? Yes.
4.23.2007
THE MORAL IMPERATIVE/OBLIGATION OF A WITNESS
KNOWLEDGE /VISION IS RESPONSIBILITY. Unknown author.
IF YOU KNOW AND YOU DO NOT DO, YOU DO NOT KNOW. Eastern saying. (Millions "say" they "know" of the Darfur "Genocide," but they do not "DO." I "KNOW" and "DO." I AM OBLIGATED TO CONTINUE UP UNTIL THE PRICE OF MY LIFE.
Ok, please, PLEASE truly and thoroughly follow this through.
Your dearest loved one is in Intensive Care. I am the nurse. Somehow the entire hospital staff goes deaf and dense. Your loved one goes into attack, an attack I am expert in seeing and that others under the best of conditions has extreme difficulty seeing. An attack that will be fatal unless I can get the full attention, understanding, vision and belief of the staff.
I AM A WITNESS RIGHT? I HAVE A MORAL OBLIGATION TO LAY DOWN MY LIFE IF REQUIRED AS A BROTHER TO SAVE THIS LIFE RIGHT?
What must I do? DO UNTO OTHERS ALL THAT YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU. JESUS ONLY "SIN" WAS NOT, NOT TO BE A BROTHER WILLING TO LAY DOWN HIS LIFE - SELFISHNESS OF ANY AND ALL FORMS.
What must I not do? BE ANYTHING LESS THAN A FULL BROTHER TO THAT PATIENT AND TO ANYONE ON THE STAFF.
Can I use enormously tough love on the staff? IT IS A MORAL IMPERATIVE TO DO SO EVEN UP TO THE POINT OF RISKING OR SACRIFICING MY OWN LIFE, UPSETTING THEM, RISKING THEM KILLING ME THROUGH IGNORANCE, NEGLECT OR EVEN MISTAKEN VIOLENCE.
Would you really want me to protect my own life at the risk of YOUR DEAREST LOVED ONE? No. And I would not want you to.
Now, do I really love Darfur that much?
We'll see, I pray. Pray for me in this respect only.
This post should really, really help us all.
Your Loving brother, Start
IF YOU KNOW AND YOU DO NOT DO, YOU DO NOT KNOW. Eastern saying. (Millions "say" they "know" of the Darfur "Genocide," but they do not "DO." I "KNOW" and "DO." I AM OBLIGATED TO CONTINUE UP UNTIL THE PRICE OF MY LIFE.
Ok, please, PLEASE truly and thoroughly follow this through.
Your dearest loved one is in Intensive Care. I am the nurse. Somehow the entire hospital staff goes deaf and dense. Your loved one goes into attack, an attack I am expert in seeing and that others under the best of conditions has extreme difficulty seeing. An attack that will be fatal unless I can get the full attention, understanding, vision and belief of the staff.
I AM A WITNESS RIGHT? I HAVE A MORAL OBLIGATION TO LAY DOWN MY LIFE IF REQUIRED AS A BROTHER TO SAVE THIS LIFE RIGHT?
What must I do? DO UNTO OTHERS ALL THAT YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU. JESUS ONLY "SIN" WAS NOT, NOT TO BE A BROTHER WILLING TO LAY DOWN HIS LIFE - SELFISHNESS OF ANY AND ALL FORMS.
What must I not do? BE ANYTHING LESS THAN A FULL BROTHER TO THAT PATIENT AND TO ANYONE ON THE STAFF.
Can I use enormously tough love on the staff? IT IS A MORAL IMPERATIVE TO DO SO EVEN UP TO THE POINT OF RISKING OR SACRIFICING MY OWN LIFE, UPSETTING THEM, RISKING THEM KILLING ME THROUGH IGNORANCE, NEGLECT OR EVEN MISTAKEN VIOLENCE.
Would you really want me to protect my own life at the risk of YOUR DEAREST LOVED ONE? No. And I would not want you to.
Now, do I really love Darfur that much?
We'll see, I pray. Pray for me in this respect only.
This post should really, really help us all.
Your Loving brother, Start
Going to Court: Judges are a Starving child, Mutilated girl...
Per the "Going to Court" post down a few, as I wallow in my new all-day discomfort I also find promise, hope, humility and self-deficit in holding my selfish intersts in the light of my suffering Darfur family.
It will really be intersting to see how much I really do Love them, how real they are to me, how real is thier suffering to me, AND HOW REAL THEY BECOME WITHIN ME.
Pray for me.
It will really be intersting to see how much I really do Love them, how real they are to me, how real is thier suffering to me, AND HOW REAL THEY BECOME WITHIN ME.
Pray for me.
4.22.2007
!!!!!!"BREAD SERVED"/THERAPY PER MINUTE!!!!!
See posts below regarding "Bread" and "Mass Therapy."
I've been aching (hmm, intersting choice of words) to begin to see the metrics that can enable us to begin to quantify and thereby optimise our progress toward a global revolution of Brotherhood.
Within the last two days I'm getting my first vague glimpses. Crude yes, but finally something.
I can sit in front of the Embassy and there would be significant impact, and it would be quite pleasant and easy for me - reading, prayer, no or little pain. Impact? h (hours) x n x st = n umber of souls receiving s ignificant t herapy.
I can march the intersection furiously with great pain, no reading, and little prayer. Impact? 8n X 3st = 24 times more impact - ROUGHLY!!!!
Now, this will be interesting to see how I grow or not. H Hours. How much to I let myself sleep and rest - how much do I push myself into pain.
CAN I LEARN TO LOVE THE ELIMINATION OF MY FAMILY'S PAIN (FAMILY I WILL NEVER SEE, FEEL, TOUCH) MORE THAN MY OWN?!!?!?!?!?!
The point? "Unearned suffering [as a natural byproduct of "doing unto the least of these"] is redemptive," said Dr. King. I can control the amount of suffering here. In this case the more hours per day I suffer, the more people I impact per hour. This is a simple fact. How much to I love my Darfur family? Hmmmm. We'll see.
I don't recall ever being afraid of dying. I have since a little child been extremely afraid of suffering. Now, I've sacrificed to the extreme all my adult life - working, dedicating, producing, focusing, being disciplined to the extreme! But this is relatively easy and very fun for me. But physical suffering hour in, hour out, week in, week out, month in... I've never really been faced much with that. I'VE NEVER BEEN FACED WITH THAT! The nausea and weakness of earlier hunger strike days are nothing compared to the pain of the walking now and the consequences when I do have time to sleep at night.
How much "bread" am I willing to be, at what price? Well, I know what Jesus, Beko, King and others were willing and able to be. Start Loving? Hmmmm.
This is great!
Pray for me. Pray for Darfur.
I've been aching (hmm, intersting choice of words) to begin to see the metrics that can enable us to begin to quantify and thereby optimise our progress toward a global revolution of Brotherhood.
Within the last two days I'm getting my first vague glimpses. Crude yes, but finally something.
I can sit in front of the Embassy and there would be significant impact, and it would be quite pleasant and easy for me - reading, prayer, no or little pain. Impact? h (hours) x n x st = n umber of souls receiving s ignificant t herapy.
I can march the intersection furiously with great pain, no reading, and little prayer. Impact? 8n X 3st = 24 times more impact - ROUGHLY!!!!
Now, this will be interesting to see how I grow or not. H Hours. How much to I let myself sleep and rest - how much do I push myself into pain.
CAN I LEARN TO LOVE THE ELIMINATION OF MY FAMILY'S PAIN (FAMILY I WILL NEVER SEE, FEEL, TOUCH) MORE THAN MY OWN?!!?!?!?!?!
The point? "Unearned suffering [as a natural byproduct of "doing unto the least of these"] is redemptive," said Dr. King. I can control the amount of suffering here. In this case the more hours per day I suffer, the more people I impact per hour. This is a simple fact. How much to I love my Darfur family? Hmmmm. We'll see.
I don't recall ever being afraid of dying. I have since a little child been extremely afraid of suffering. Now, I've sacrificed to the extreme all my adult life - working, dedicating, producing, focusing, being disciplined to the extreme! But this is relatively easy and very fun for me. But physical suffering hour in, hour out, week in, week out, month in... I've never really been faced much with that. I'VE NEVER BEEN FACED WITH THAT! The nausea and weakness of earlier hunger strike days are nothing compared to the pain of the walking now and the consequences when I do have time to sleep at night.
How much "bread" am I willing to be, at what price? Well, I know what Jesus, Beko, King and others were willing and able to be. Start Loving? Hmmmm.
This is great!
Pray for me. Pray for Darfur.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MASS THERAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is really shocking and amusing to me how long it takes me to "get it."
Only in the last two days have I come to the realization that what Jesus was, and what we are all called to be is Mass Psycho therapeutic Therapy (see !!!ADLER!!! post below.) This is what I am doing furiously marching and occupying the Sudan Embassy / Embassy Row sector.
All the Saints saw this potentiality, that something could mass shock us out of our manic selfishness into the clinical health of mass Brotherhood and Otherishness. There is no question that they saw this and dedicated their lives accordingly. For a brief time we saw Jesus, King and Gandhi have this mass impact. We all have had moments, days, weeks, months when something (book, movie, event...) or someone had this mass therapeutic mental health impact on us.
This is what Jesus and Life call us to do, to learn, and to dedicate ourselves fully to.
Only in the last two days have I come to the realization that what Jesus was, and what we are all called to be is Mass Psycho therapeutic Therapy (see !!!ADLER!!! post below.) This is what I am doing furiously marching and occupying the Sudan Embassy / Embassy Row sector.
All the Saints saw this potentiality, that something could mass shock us out of our manic selfishness into the clinical health of mass Brotherhood and Otherishness. There is no question that they saw this and dedicated their lives accordingly. For a brief time we saw Jesus, King and Gandhi have this mass impact. We all have had moments, days, weeks, months when something (book, movie, event...) or someone had this mass therapeutic mental health impact on us.
This is what Jesus and Life call us to do, to learn, and to dedicate ourselves fully to.
Going to court. Judges Beko, Gandhi, Wilson, Jesus...
In this work phase - all pain, no reading, leasure and difficult prayer - it is enormously humbling and helpful to try to keep myself in their presence.
Of course I have a great tendency to feel sorry for myself. I also have a strong distaste and aversion to this. I'm not good at it yet. I don't yet have the objectivity, the self monitoring (Dave) to judge when to indulge the pain impulses, rest, for reasons of protecting my ability to Serve, and when to press on.
Bringing myself in my imagination in front of Beko or Jesus helps. Of course my pain and suffering can't begin to come into the same realm as theirs. Now it doesn't make it easy or successful. I still am very tempted, and do - self indulge. But I find some assitance and much hope and promise for new strength and otherisness in the approach.
Of course I have a great tendency to feel sorry for myself. I also have a strong distaste and aversion to this. I'm not good at it yet. I don't yet have the objectivity, the self monitoring (Dave) to judge when to indulge the pain impulses, rest, for reasons of protecting my ability to Serve, and when to press on.
Bringing myself in my imagination in front of Beko or Jesus helps. Of course my pain and suffering can't begin to come into the same realm as theirs. Now it doesn't make it easy or successful. I still am very tempted, and do - self indulge. But I find some assitance and much hope and promise for new strength and otherisness in the approach.
I think I'll fail. I think I'll always keep trying this approach.
I'm not sure why I find this story so useful, but I have and do: Jos. Lister discovered that contamination on scalpels was causing massive amounts of death, in the 1870's is when he made his discovery I think. He saw with certainty the death of unsterilized tools. IT TOOK HIM UNTIL THE EARLY 1900's BEFORE ANYONE WOULD LISTEN. He could have given up trying to convince people. Who could have blamed him?
What I am doing -
What I am doing -
- standing up for "the least of these my brothers,
- "doing unto others ALL that I would have them do unto me,"
- attempting to "live just like Jesus lived,"
- "lay down my life for my brother,"
- "Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven..."
- Hunger Strike as the Weapon of Mass Therapy...
...This is Life. There is nothing else that is Life. That we have grown up in a culture that has almost totally eradicated the circuits within us that recognize and practice this makes the need for me to live as I am living, to "be" the "Bread of Life" the best I am able, ALL THE MORE NECESSARY AND URGENT, DEMANDING AND EXCITITING AND INVITING.
If I am given 1 more month or 4 more decades I suspect every breath will be spent practicing the above for the intent of spreading the Life-type, for spreading Revolutionary Brotherhood, to Start Loving, and for the Live / Love / Joy / Peace of it.
This is a shocking revelation for me in light of:
- The pain, intensity, duration, and saturation per minute per day of my Serving in Solidarity from my Soul which is more intense than ever before, and
- The lack of "success" in any foreseeable future is more apparent to me than ever before.
I should feel extremely discouraged. I feel more certain of the need and more resolved than ever.
I also feel what I have long hoped to feel and see clearly. "ANYONE THAT DOESN'T LIVE AS IS AM LIVING IS NUTS! THIS IS LIFE!!! THIS IS LIVING, MAN!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS LIFE, NOTHING ELSE IS. I KNOW. I'VE TRIED IT ALL.
Sorokin: Brotherhood or War
"If unselfish love does not extend over the whole of mankind, if it is confined within one group – a given family, tribe, nation, race, religious denomination, political party, trade nation, caste, social class or any part of humanity – such an in-group altruism tends to generate an out-group antagonism."-- Pitirim Sorokin
We now fully dehumanize our children before college
Matthew: "Whoever causes one of these little ones 5 who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."
Our children have totally bought in to the society before they enter college. Has this ever happened before? They cannot even conceive that there is any other way to live besides our religion of Selfishness.
This IS the anti-Christ. This U.S. / Western way of life [death] is the anti-Christ. The "Church" is a major henchman.
This IS the Matrix.
Our children have totally bought in to the society before they enter college. Has this ever happened before? They cannot even conceive that there is any other way to live besides our religion of Selfishness.
This IS the anti-Christ. This U.S. / Western way of life [death] is the anti-Christ. The "Church" is a major henchman.
This IS the Matrix.
Jay's Health Day 53: SHOCKINGLY EXCELLENT
About 4 days ago I started to pee furiously and now my lower legs are normal.
Thomas saw me for the first time in about a week and said with a grin, "you are looking kinda skeleton like."
My brain seems fine. All vital signs are good - steady heart at a resting rate of 60/min. Eyes are back to normal. Rare to have much weakness or nausea, very rare.
My regimen for about a week now:
For Darfur, trying to establish the urgency, the Truth of "global family emergency" that has been missing from all the activism I've lost an estimated 45 lbs leaving another 10-20 to get to an Auschwitz skeleton of 110 lbs. Upon hitting that profile I'll go shirtless as much as possible in front of the embassy to try to bring the Holocaust to a City and world that obviously does NOT "remember. " See: The world is doing nothing to halt the genocide is again being perpetrated in Darfur - that was the message from Yosef (Tommy Lapid), a Holocaust survivor from Budapest, who now serves as chairman of the Yad VaShem Holocaust Memorial in Jerusalem for the six million Jews who were murdered by the Nazis during World War II.
To burn the weight I walk at a brisk pace with the posters for 8 - 12 hours per day which at 240 cal/hr is 2000-3000 cal/day!!!! Two to three times per day I am notching in my belt!
Beverly's sister Ellen :-) is wonderful at keeping me going with about 600 cal/day of pureed fruit, tuna fish, chicken, V8, Vitamins.... She is the mainstay of this operation - a true Godsend. A GODSEND. Every day she is by with encouragement, nutrition, news, friendship, warm stuff, whatever, friendship, warmth.... Please pray to see if you should support her. I'm beginning to see that she is the Saint in the bunch. It is a great joy to come into relationship with her.
My lower body after about the first two hours each day of walking is in pretty severe pain. A hike with Gerry, Dave and Steve is what I can liken it to. In this case, I think a lot of the padding in my joints and on the bottom of my feet is reduced (digested). Anyway, that is what if feels like.
Sleeping has become extremely difficult because of great pain in my feet and knees at night. Also, I am choosing rest every 1-3 hours from walking, I sit, take of my boots, and invariably nap for 30-6o minutes.
But absolutely I see not permanent damage so far, and I have a hunch now that there may be none. God's will be done.
When I am really skeleton-like, if they are available, I expect to consume as many calories / day as necessary to maintain my weight and to avoid further degradation. I can see myself in front of the Embassy and in the area (there is a heavy-traffic intersection half a block east that I am now harassing - fully covering with my march with posters) for many, many months.
Water is always brought by my dear sister Ellen but passers by offer it once every day or so. One or two bring V8 or Ensure, or Vitamin Water.
Three folks from Amnesty International have stopped by. Will be interesting to see where that leads.
NPR was by a week ago, Kitty, at 2am for 45 min interview. Hasn't been back to finish. Interesting. No other news triggered by the Wash. Post article. This is NOT a good sign. God's will be done. I mean that with all my heart. I see Him/Her/It clearly now as the only force that has ever served what I value and the only one that there is.
My entire hope is in God/Love/Brotherhood/Truth/Life - exactly where Jesus, Gandhi, King, Teresa... placed ALL of their hope. Everything hinges upon us ALL gaining this clarity.
With the intensive "intersection walking" that depends on split second timing with green and red lights so I get all N S E West traffic within about an 80 second cycle reading is now out, praying is very difficult and managing the pain is what plays most on my mind. This is a wonderful experience - this is the real thing - from the Soul, in Solidarity Serving. The first weeks where I was sedentary were much easier for two reasons:
* The campaign was new,
* and it was extremely spiritual with all day to read and pray.
Now it is all work - all service. Neither is better. This "work" phase is harder, but also more "real," more mature, more promising, more saintly. So much to learn about how to "live just as Jesus lived," as John rightly pointed out it is ALL about.
Thomas saw me for the first time in about a week and said with a grin, "you are looking kinda skeleton like."
My brain seems fine. All vital signs are good - steady heart at a resting rate of 60/min. Eyes are back to normal. Rare to have much weakness or nausea, very rare.
My regimen for about a week now:
For Darfur, trying to establish the urgency, the Truth of "global family emergency" that has been missing from all the activism I've lost an estimated 45 lbs leaving another 10-20 to get to an Auschwitz skeleton of 110 lbs. Upon hitting that profile I'll go shirtless as much as possible in front of the embassy to try to bring the Holocaust to a City and world that obviously does NOT "remember. " See: The world is doing nothing to halt the genocide is again being perpetrated in Darfur - that was the message from Yosef (Tommy Lapid), a Holocaust survivor from Budapest, who now serves as chairman of the Yad VaShem Holocaust Memorial in Jerusalem for the six million Jews who were murdered by the Nazis during World War II.
To burn the weight I walk at a brisk pace with the posters for 8 - 12 hours per day which at 240 cal/hr is 2000-3000 cal/day!!!! Two to three times per day I am notching in my belt!
Beverly's sister Ellen :-) is wonderful at keeping me going with about 600 cal/day of pureed fruit, tuna fish, chicken, V8, Vitamins.... She is the mainstay of this operation - a true Godsend. A GODSEND. Every day she is by with encouragement, nutrition, news, friendship, warm stuff, whatever, friendship, warmth.... Please pray to see if you should support her. I'm beginning to see that she is the Saint in the bunch. It is a great joy to come into relationship with her.
My lower body after about the first two hours each day of walking is in pretty severe pain. A hike with Gerry, Dave and Steve is what I can liken it to. In this case, I think a lot of the padding in my joints and on the bottom of my feet is reduced (digested). Anyway, that is what if feels like.
Sleeping has become extremely difficult because of great pain in my feet and knees at night. Also, I am choosing rest every 1-3 hours from walking, I sit, take of my boots, and invariably nap for 30-6o minutes.
But absolutely I see not permanent damage so far, and I have a hunch now that there may be none. God's will be done.
When I am really skeleton-like, if they are available, I expect to consume as many calories / day as necessary to maintain my weight and to avoid further degradation. I can see myself in front of the Embassy and in the area (there is a heavy-traffic intersection half a block east that I am now harassing - fully covering with my march with posters) for many, many months.
Water is always brought by my dear sister Ellen but passers by offer it once every day or so. One or two bring V8 or Ensure, or Vitamin Water.
Three folks from Amnesty International have stopped by. Will be interesting to see where that leads.
NPR was by a week ago, Kitty, at 2am for 45 min interview. Hasn't been back to finish. Interesting. No other news triggered by the Wash. Post article. This is NOT a good sign. God's will be done. I mean that with all my heart. I see Him/Her/It clearly now as the only force that has ever served what I value and the only one that there is.
My entire hope is in God/Love/Brotherhood/Truth/Life - exactly where Jesus, Gandhi, King, Teresa... placed ALL of their hope. Everything hinges upon us ALL gaining this clarity.
With the intensive "intersection walking" that depends on split second timing with green and red lights so I get all N S E West traffic within about an 80 second cycle reading is now out, praying is very difficult and managing the pain is what plays most on my mind. This is a wonderful experience - this is the real thing - from the Soul, in Solidarity Serving. The first weeks where I was sedentary were much easier for two reasons:
* The campaign was new,
* and it was extremely spiritual with all day to read and pray.
Now it is all work - all service. Neither is better. This "work" phase is harder, but also more "real," more mature, more promising, more saintly. So much to learn about how to "live just as Jesus lived," as John rightly pointed out it is ALL about.
A Hopeful "Christain" Blog Site
Ben Witherington
Some comments I made on the comments of others:
Friends,I am honored and pleased to see this dialog. My clothes are starting to speak to me, so I took that as a sign to accept refuge from friends to do laudary, bathe, and blog tonight. Back to the Embassy tomorrow morning. I'm down to about 130 lbs as a result of burning about 2000-3000 calories per day by marching with the posters 9-12 hours per day, and now taking in about 600 cal/day - mostly juice. My goal is to be a visual of the Holocaust there in Mass. Ave in DC asap. When I hit about 110lbs (I was 175) I'll take calories sufficient to last until June 30 God willing. Then? Whatever I understand our Father and Master to want.You demonstrate much courage, Truth and Spirit in how you view my story. Commendations.As to committing Suicide, I really think that this issue is one we have to get past. Does a mother that goes into a burning building to get her child commit suicide? Did Jesus going into Jerusalem KNOWING he would be Crucificed commit Suicide? Does a soldier going an a "suicide mission" commit suicide? The 911 fire fighters? Etc. Etc. Etc.Who knows? But what is important is not this fine point in the scheme of things, certaninly. Jesus is our Master and BROTHER. "As you do unto the least of these my family." Jesus has billions of us down here suffering Sprititual (U.S.) and or physical (Darfur and elsewhere) mutilation and horror. Would He be horrified if Start Loving out of some selfish angst or self pitty killed himeself? YES! But Jesus is the one that has me walking willingly into exactly what killed Him - Selfishness / Cowardice / Neglect. King did the same thing. So did Gandhi. I can avoid that evil easily! But so could they. No. The only Christian thing to do is to place our bodies between the evil, Selfishness / Neglect and the victims that it may kill us if it will, and maybe spare them. As Dr. King said, "Unearned suffering is redemptive." If Start Loving dies it will NOT be by his own hand. It will be at the hand of my wealthy, heartless U.S. brothers and sisters - at their neglectful, cowardly, non-brotherly, selfish hand - the hands that currently has the blood of 450,000 Darfuries on them. Why their blood on our hands? Because we have the power to protect, and they do not. I am not talking about Bush. I am talking about you and me as the guilty parties. "I was in prison, and you did not visit me...."Some believe, as I do, that although on our entrance interview for Heaven there is much we COULD be asked, there is really only one thing we will be asked about - DID YOU LOVE YOUR BROTHER AS YOURSELF - DID YOU DO UNTO OTHERS ALL THAT YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU. If I perrish, if I am not saved by my U.S. brothers and sisters from the lot I throw mine in with - that of my neglected Darfur family - I am not the one Jesus is going to be upset with.Your always Loving brother, Start
5:43 PM
Start Loving said...
Ben, More than anyone I know or have read of with the exception of the likes of Gandhi, Jesus, King and Teresa I believe in, trust in, and throw my life totally on what I imagine God wishes for me to do. I just don't know exactly what God is. But I feel Him/Her/It as clearly and surely as I feel gravity.My point? I believe that Jesus was the most perfect "child" of that God of Love / Life / Truth / Joy / Brotherhood. I do not believe less nor more than that.One of your wonderful posters expressed deep sadness that I seemed to believe not more. I thank your poster, but I am almost completely certain that I grieve more than can be imagined that others believe "more" than I do. And I am certain that Jesus shares that grief. My God. Jesus didn't want to be worshiped. Jesus wanted to be followed. Jesus saw with perfect clarity that:A. Any and every individual that would go to the cross with her/his life for "the least of these" would immediately, for their life on earth enter Our Father's Kingdom - Heaven. I'm doing it every minute of every day. It is complete Love, Life, Peace, Joy and Agony JUST LIKE HE PROMISED. It dwarfs all of life's other "pleasures" that I've drowned in most of my sinfully "privileged" life.B. "Thy Kingdom come[s as] thy will is done...." As true as E=MCsqd. Jesus saw with perfect clarity that He/we could bring about Heaven on Earth - or it was gunna be complete Hell.Friends, I see no Christians (ok maybe 100 or 1000 on the planet.) I see no Followers of Jesus. Oh what grief. Oh what sorrow. We are missing the entire, the ENTIRE thing. If we followed Jos. Lister like we "follow" Jesus we would all die from dirty, infected scalpels.If we followed Tiger Woods like we "follow" Jesus Tiger would go undefeated every game.And on, and on....Jesus was the Albert Einstein of Humanity / How to Live / Heaven on Earth / Family of Man / Brotherhood / Human Psychology. He told us how to make this place Heaven absolutely: For those who try; and for all when they succeed. My God, isn't this enough? Of course it is, unless we want to have no faith in Him, and hang on to our "Fleshly," Sinful, Error filled, SELFISH Lives (which of course exactly what we "Christians" are doing - nothing more, nothing less; nothing else.")After a lifetime of prayer, study, experimentation and now extreme experience nothing can change my mind on this I expect. And if I am right (and God help me, I am)? Think of the implications for you, and for the world. Gandhi did. Look what happened when he followed Jesus the man. Imagine if we all did. My God, do we really need more than this? What a Miracle. WE DO NOT NEED MORE THAN THIS. AND IF WE START FOLLOWING HIM AN STOP WORSHIPING HIM DO YOU REALLY THINK HE WILL NOT GIVE US THE REST IF THERE IS MORE? Come on now. If Gandhi, a devout follower of Jesus the man, while a devout Hindu is not in some Heaven after this life... I don't know about you, but I don't want to be there either.Your Loving brother, Start
Some comments I made on the comments of others:
Friends,I am honored and pleased to see this dialog. My clothes are starting to speak to me, so I took that as a sign to accept refuge from friends to do laudary, bathe, and blog tonight. Back to the Embassy tomorrow morning. I'm down to about 130 lbs as a result of burning about 2000-3000 calories per day by marching with the posters 9-12 hours per day, and now taking in about 600 cal/day - mostly juice. My goal is to be a visual of the Holocaust there in Mass. Ave in DC asap. When I hit about 110lbs (I was 175) I'll take calories sufficient to last until June 30 God willing. Then? Whatever I understand our Father and Master to want.You demonstrate much courage, Truth and Spirit in how you view my story. Commendations.As to committing Suicide, I really think that this issue is one we have to get past. Does a mother that goes into a burning building to get her child commit suicide? Did Jesus going into Jerusalem KNOWING he would be Crucificed commit Suicide? Does a soldier going an a "suicide mission" commit suicide? The 911 fire fighters? Etc. Etc. Etc.Who knows? But what is important is not this fine point in the scheme of things, certaninly. Jesus is our Master and BROTHER. "As you do unto the least of these my family." Jesus has billions of us down here suffering Sprititual (U.S.) and or physical (Darfur and elsewhere) mutilation and horror. Would He be horrified if Start Loving out of some selfish angst or self pitty killed himeself? YES! But Jesus is the one that has me walking willingly into exactly what killed Him - Selfishness / Cowardice / Neglect. King did the same thing. So did Gandhi. I can avoid that evil easily! But so could they. No. The only Christian thing to do is to place our bodies between the evil, Selfishness / Neglect and the victims that it may kill us if it will, and maybe spare them. As Dr. King said, "Unearned suffering is redemptive." If Start Loving dies it will NOT be by his own hand. It will be at the hand of my wealthy, heartless U.S. brothers and sisters - at their neglectful, cowardly, non-brotherly, selfish hand - the hands that currently has the blood of 450,000 Darfuries on them. Why their blood on our hands? Because we have the power to protect, and they do not. I am not talking about Bush. I am talking about you and me as the guilty parties. "I was in prison, and you did not visit me...."Some believe, as I do, that although on our entrance interview for Heaven there is much we COULD be asked, there is really only one thing we will be asked about - DID YOU LOVE YOUR BROTHER AS YOURSELF - DID YOU DO UNTO OTHERS ALL THAT YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU. If I perrish, if I am not saved by my U.S. brothers and sisters from the lot I throw mine in with - that of my neglected Darfur family - I am not the one Jesus is going to be upset with.Your always Loving brother, Start
5:43 PM
Start Loving said...
Ben, More than anyone I know or have read of with the exception of the likes of Gandhi, Jesus, King and Teresa I believe in, trust in, and throw my life totally on what I imagine God wishes for me to do. I just don't know exactly what God is. But I feel Him/Her/It as clearly and surely as I feel gravity.My point? I believe that Jesus was the most perfect "child" of that God of Love / Life / Truth / Joy / Brotherhood. I do not believe less nor more than that.One of your wonderful posters expressed deep sadness that I seemed to believe not more. I thank your poster, but I am almost completely certain that I grieve more than can be imagined that others believe "more" than I do. And I am certain that Jesus shares that grief. My God. Jesus didn't want to be worshiped. Jesus wanted to be followed. Jesus saw with perfect clarity that:A. Any and every individual that would go to the cross with her/his life for "the least of these" would immediately, for their life on earth enter Our Father's Kingdom - Heaven. I'm doing it every minute of every day. It is complete Love, Life, Peace, Joy and Agony JUST LIKE HE PROMISED. It dwarfs all of life's other "pleasures" that I've drowned in most of my sinfully "privileged" life.B. "Thy Kingdom come[s as] thy will is done...." As true as E=MCsqd. Jesus saw with perfect clarity that He/we could bring about Heaven on Earth - or it was gunna be complete Hell.Friends, I see no Christians (ok maybe 100 or 1000 on the planet.) I see no Followers of Jesus. Oh what grief. Oh what sorrow. We are missing the entire, the ENTIRE thing. If we followed Jos. Lister like we "follow" Jesus we would all die from dirty, infected scalpels.If we followed Tiger Woods like we "follow" Jesus Tiger would go undefeated every game.And on, and on....Jesus was the Albert Einstein of Humanity / How to Live / Heaven on Earth / Family of Man / Brotherhood / Human Psychology. He told us how to make this place Heaven absolutely: For those who try; and for all when they succeed. My God, isn't this enough? Of course it is, unless we want to have no faith in Him, and hang on to our "Fleshly," Sinful, Error filled, SELFISH Lives (which of course exactly what we "Christians" are doing - nothing more, nothing less; nothing else.")After a lifetime of prayer, study, experimentation and now extreme experience nothing can change my mind on this I expect. And if I am right (and God help me, I am)? Think of the implications for you, and for the world. Gandhi did. Look what happened when he followed Jesus the man. Imagine if we all did. My God, do we really need more than this? What a Miracle. WE DO NOT NEED MORE THAN THIS. AND IF WE START FOLLOWING HIM AN STOP WORSHIPING HIM DO YOU REALLY THINK HE WILL NOT GIVE US THE REST IF THERE IS MORE? Come on now. If Gandhi, a devout follower of Jesus the man, while a devout Hindu is not in some Heaven after this life... I don't know about you, but I don't want to be there either.Your Loving brother, Start
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