My life, my adulthood, is extreme cycles.....

My life, my adulthood, is extreme cycles.....

For months on end I will plunge into a situation, probably dangerous and frightening, to embody it as best I can and therefore come to know it, and eventually my nervous system takes Mercy, my soul, and begins to make sense of it for me enough that I can try and be of some help, some use.

I view these last week's in that way. I'm lost. I'm plunged in and I'm not yet finding my footing. None of this is a complaint, it is a report. The pandemic is a societal coma, or global coma, and my nervous system is trying to come to grips with it. I am not certain that I'm using my time in the way I can to best serve. But it is the best I know and I am trying to claw forward. Spending many many hours a day trying to digest the unfolding Horrors in the world in the hopes that I can begin to find a way forward.

Yesterday I remembered from many weeks past that my mission had been and probably should continue forward, pioneering joy in material hell, for future survivors. I will not be amazed if that is the tow rope that helps me pull out of this quicksand to a place of helpfulness.

My response throughout my adulthood to seeing new catastrophe is to attempt to figure out how to be a catalyst for solution. That reflex has taken charge of my life in the midst of the covid-19 virus and the much more deadly virus that it makes increasingly clear, human selfishness raised to Supreme religion as evidenced in those on the right in this country and the world. And I do not personally regret the pain and difficulty for me in these recent weeks, where I have felt so lost, but I think that I am realizing that I have been lost in the notion that things can be saved which I had several years ago I thought put behind me, facing that they are not going to be saved. And they are not going to be saved.

But I guess I needed this recent weeks of immersion to see that. Again.

And not just the immersion in the horror, many hours every day, and the lockdown, removing me from all physical activism that was my life. But major limbo for my partner, this wonderful vehicle. Weeks and weeks of trying to design a final major upgrade to remove the drivetrain from the tremendous danger zone within which it has existed, bearing twice or more of the weight that it should bear. And the world experts in Vancouver have been slowed to a glacial Pace by the virus. But last night I received this photograph of the almost completed components which may be shipped on Friday arriving first half of next week.

If that transpires and the installation goes successfully then my general sense is that within a month and possibly sooner the Voyage to complete the 48 states will resume.

I may have just lost another really really dear friend. Not to the virus I think. Just to me. Clueless.

Log update: I thrive on feeling accountable. Feeling accountable helps me....

I thrive on feeling accountable.

Feeling accountable helps me... stay on track to have the high level of meaning that makes life worth living for me.

This does not mean that I make myself accountable to others approval. Never. I am accountable to the highest conception of being a contributing human being that I can muster. I'm never allowed to delegate that judgment to anyone else, but I consider at least in my mind what others are thinking, and certainly any and all appropriate and put that I can receive.

How is James spending these recent weeks where his friends are so lavishly affording him a safe and beautiful place 2 shelter in place until things open up from the virus?

I suppose there would be nothing wrong if James were using this for entertainment, Recreation, relaxation, but none of those are ways that James and Joyce spending his time, not since he was a misguided kid. That's just him. Maybe. 

These recent weeks he's devoting all of his time, all of his waking moments, on some combination of the following:

• Trying to make sense of what the f*** is going on in the world, and sharing those insights that come to him that he finds insightful that might be useful to others. Facebook is the primary communication vehicle he is using.
• Trying to deal with the internal storms that our dystopian external world can trigger within him such that he is as much of a Lsgiabeing.com moment-to-moment as he can be, as he understands that to be the major contribution that he can make to the world, that any of us can make to the world.
• Working to maintain some reasonable level of capacity within the human motor and energy storage that his body has become over these years so that when the virus lifts and he can resume his mission physically it has not degraded too far. This is translating into 4 hours or so of intense cycling every other day.
  

  
• Being a friend to the heroic mom of two teenage boys that are on the autism spectrum, physically located in Michigan, that he met briefly years ago when the trailer was being built there, that he continues to view as one of the most high performance Souls that has ever encountered. By way of analogy, if she were a heroic pilot of an airplane flying through, flying herself and her two children, through a hurricane that otherwise couldn't be escaped, and James could provide some ground Support Services, he would do so. He is doing so. It is a great privilege, and sometimes it takes a tremendous amount of time. Which he is Overjoyed to supply. A great privilege.
• Long overdue maintenance and planning and execution of a gigantic final upgrade to this wonderful solar RV bicycle. The gigantic Achilles heel has always been the drive system which has been way underpowered and way over stressed for this 1200 lb payload. With the supplier in Canada of the two additional Motors crippled by the virus the process of determining what was appropriate order has been arduous. Three or four agonizing weeks were otherwise it could have been three or four days. Hopefully the components will arrive within the next 10 days or so at which point a local welder hopefully will execute the work needed so that James can to get it all installed. And what work he can do to prepare the vehicle for that is doing.

That probably puts forth 90% or so of how I'm spending my time. James

Financial Rapids ahead for this Mission. Heads up. Several of you have indicated that you are committed to helping this Mission financially.

James is probably going to plunge this Mission into dangerous Financial Waters where it is not been for many months now. Two weeks ago and tomorrow major investment in an infected tooth, the extraction being tomorrow hopefully. Hopefully affordable at a community health clinic. The pain is saying not to let this go on any longer.

Another other issue is the ongoing pain with this wonderful vehicle. Forever there has been far too much stress on the current mechanical and electrical system in that rear drive wheel. It is a constant source of Maintenance and expense and breakage and damage and catastrophic risk. Also although the vehicle has enough power it does not have enough traction for those times that a camping spot needs to be reached on a off pavement, gravel or packed dirt road and with the dystopia we're headed into this is likely to be more and more frequently essential. So within a week it may well be that James will plunge into the major expenditure of putting two Motors in the rear trailer wheels.

And his portal on the world, his cellphone, the refurbished that he got a year ago, well he finally cracked the screen and that was a major expenditure today to get repaired.

So for those that do not want to see this Mission die prematurely from lack of financial funds James does not see an immediate need for your help. But it is likely that all of the cushion that he's been able to establish will be gone within several weeks and if there are any other blows then your help might make the difference between survival and not.

Cycling this vehicle with the idea of keeping the crankshaft turning is quite miserable. Cycling it with the idea of doing as large a share of energy every inch as I can is quite wonderful and automatic. I owe more posts on this. True for many weeks now.

NOTICE: on Facebook is the vast majority of my recent and future posting. Many screenshots also here

https://www.facebook.com/StartLoving1

Which Jesus?

Click this link for vid 

https://photos.app.goo.gl/6vcS5DErxpGxoj6g7

Unless and until James sees the smallest Ray of Hope he owes it to the Future to go quiet politically. Can he do it?

I'm taking the luxury afforded me today to sequester in a cave and try and get my bearings, to find my footing, in this new dystopian world.

More generally: Did you ever see the movie Hunger Games? How the sponsors would in Desperate situations sometimes reach in and provide help? This 48th state attempted Journey began in July, one person reached out and said hey, when you're in North Carolina, please come stay with us? Well the journey reached N. Carolina within a day or so of them being shut down for the virus. And my friends seem glad to have me Sheltering in place here. What are the chances?

Those times that you feel you have everything under control, are the times that you least do. Soul in charge never has that illusion. Nor gives it.

The insane, manic, premium we place on physical life is killing us. This virus is an opportunity for us to learn. " I'm not scared of dying and I don't really care…"

"... Give me my freedom for as long as I be

All I ask of living is to have no chains on me

All I ask of living is to have no chains on me,

And all I ask of dying is to go naturally, only want to go naturally…. ". Link

There is much that I agree with in this song, and much that I don't.

I do think that it is a religion in our culture to trade our life 4 pulse. And thereby we choose living death.

For some of us this virus can be a rebirth opportunity to break the death grip that are fear of physical mortality has on us.

Thousand percent better day than yesterday.

Yesterday was really really tough. Sol desperately ill with no diagnosis or certainty of rolling again.

The crashing in of the horror of trump and this virus and the world going to hell.
But slow and steady internal and external work, the vehicle is rolling again, not at full health but rolling and that's huge. And some help from the factory in Canada and maybe even a positive resolution on a new motor that has gone bad. For the photograph above those are magnets they should be in a straight line instead they have migrated into this wave Arrangement, faulty glue apparently.
And with a lot of internal work and mustering all of my resources and knowledge I'm climbing out of the abyss and back into attempting to be a contributing soul in the world.

We are entering the Dark Ages. There are multiple plagues that are murdering everything decent, among the least deadly the covid-19 virus. It could well be that the few survivors hundreds of years from now see this as a blessing, a reset button, that was unimaginably painful and deadly, but gave the species one last chance. Noah's flood, again, if you will.

Let me put the Target on my chest more clearly. Seriously. I have gotten very few serious thoughts plus or minus....

Let me put the Target on my chest more clearly. Seriously. I have gotten very few serious thoughts plus or minus.... tho I've been asking multiple ways multiple days. My treasured friend was extremely upset by a chart I posted earlier regarding perspective of the number of coronavirus deaths versus other causes of death in the United States. This wonderful Soul found my raising this issue extremely unhelpful, extremely troubling. This was my reply: my friend, in all honesty, I don't think you're asking me, I think you're telling me, and I take no offense, and I do not ask you to read any further. Yet you did pose a question about which I have very strong thoughts tho not yet resolved. About which I have been writing for quite a few days now and continuing to ponder. In no particular order: item. anyone that knows me should know that I do not take pulse as an important measure of life. Item. Nothing happens in a vacuum, to respond fully to the virus has collateral consequences. Fact. Item. The economic shutdown will be devastating for the poor. How many will die as a consequence? Item. The economic shutdown which will likely cause a multi-year depression, maybe a tremendous Boon to Future Generations. Item. Our species was not designed to have such a large population, a large population at all, of people my age and older. We are parasites on the Young by any and every objective measure. What we consume. How we vote. Our disproportionate weight on the political process. Our essential role in obstructing the youth in dealing with climate change. It is not simple. It is morally and intellectually bankrupt to view this situation as simply a matter of whether people die immediately of the virus or not. There are many populations at risk here current and future Generations. Hugs. James

If we are now headed into a decade long global economic shutdown, is that not a godsend? If millions of us old white parasites allowed to die, even better, for the young, and future Generations, no? Truly? Objectively?

So far this is not what I expected.

Six months ago in Colorado similar symptoms on a identical motor, upon opening the motor all sorts of water poured out and all sorts of corrosion were in evidence. But not this time. However it still seems that the problem must be magnets, epoxy tint place around the inside of this metal rim, have come loose. But there are further risks in removing centerpiece with all the copper wire so I am hoping to hear from the factory before proceeding. If the motor is even the problem, which seems 99% likely, then what to do? One, repair it if possible. Under $100 and many many many hours of Labor? 2, replace it with a like motor if that can be secured, $900. Replace it with the proper solution which is two additional Motors one each in the front wheels of the trike. 3, $2,000, but then this vehicle, James home for as many years as he can proceed, is the vehicle it should have been all along.

We must not restart this economy. If we love our children, which we don't, we'll start a new one. One of equality, sustainability.

Hello friends. R u doin OK?

Jesus was wrong. But he was so incredibly productive of good. So hard to understand.

Even the man Jesus, if you can find him under this Six Trillion tons of church made up s***, he was wrong.
The man Jesus believed that there was a sky father that, when enough people, pleased him with their behavior, he would come down and impose a good righteous order. Further, Jesus would be the Earthly ruler, and the 12 apostles would be those directly under him.
Obviously all of that is nonsense, in hindsight. Tho given the thinking of his age and prior ages it was not unreasonable. But it was incorrect.
But what he got right was that God, the force of loving creation, could be pleased by only one thing, everyone acting as though they had one father, always watching, loving but administrating consequences, that could be pleased by only one thing, everyone behaving as though everyone else was their immediate beloved family member, with God watching every breath. Everyone on their best behavior always from the soul for the joy of it.
And the most admirable enviable Souls throughout history have reacted to that I have reacted to that kernel that Jesus got right. Bonhoeffer, Tolstoy, Martin Luther King Junior, Gandhi, Schweitzer.....
Just imagine for a moment that anyone in Jesus day, any 10 people in Jesus day, had gotten the core, embraced it with all their might like we all Embrace avoiding physical death, or material poverty, imagine we had dedicated ourselves to that even a small handful, where we might be in 2020. Imagine a small handful had done so five hundred years ago, a hundred years ago.
imagine what difference you might make in someone's life Joy today, or 500 years from now, if you embrace it, no excuses, none of our usual, oh it's not human nature bulshit, embraced it with all of your life. Imagine the quality of life impact you might have on someone or some a small group 500 years from now.

Let's get on with it.

It would be absolutely horrible to bring back the French Revolution practices. But even worse to accept this genocidal inequality.

Eisenhower saved millions of lives through brilliant generalship. Trump destroys hundreds of thousands through insane in humanity.

Am. workers to Am: U love us! Living wage NOW & Univ HC or we strike. Put ur $ where ur mouth is. Now. No we don't trust u.

The Sheltering in place in Asheville North Carolina for now.

My friend from high school Phyllis and new friend Alan have warmly welcomed me into their home and feel that they are glad to have me stay as long as is necessary. An incredible blessing. Another act by the sponsors in Hunger Games? This is the only friend that months ago when this journey began said that they were hoping to see me on my way through. It is total coincidence that I am here at this time. Sponsors from Hunger Games?

Every group is 1/3 virulent sociopaths. Whether they rule, or are contained, is up to the 2/3. Extreme Social distancing, or doom.

Doctors and nurses? I love you. We are not worth it. Stop risking your lives. Thank you.

Have I been slightly off on my North Star? Will be experimenting with this.

A friend wrote of trump, it's all about him. I thought, why should he be any different than the rest of we Americans?

To Old folks like me: We don't belong here. The younger folks do. If we don't work for them we should pass on.

The good news: Everyone that listens to Trump and the Republicans on the virus is much more likely to die than the rest of us.

Well, James just successfully relaced his real rear-wheel.

A particularly satisfying, gratifying, and important experiment. It is not the new spokes, they will not arrive until middle of next week if the shipment happens from San Jose on Friday. But it is a relacing of the old spokes as a trial to see if James could do it, and so that the vehicle is mobile until the new spokes arrive. Yes, we have not tried to move yet but there's every reason to think that it will go fine. James has been building these skills by observing prior wheel Builders and by frequently replacing spokes. This is a very useful Milestone to have passed.