Fact: I see no where in evidence today 1 millionth the humanity evidenced in the women's suffrage struggle. In the evermore toxic culture of greed, religious addiction to pleasure, we have grotesquely devolved as a species to the point of being no longer viable.

Fact: I see no where in evidence today 1 millionth the humanity evidenced in the women's suffrage struggle. In the evermore toxic culture of greed, religious addiction to pleasure, we have grotesquely devolved as a species to the point of being no longer viable.

Fact:: all war is psychological. Fact: the weapon of un violint warriors is inflicting the pain, near unbearable, of the awful price they personally pay for what is right, on the opponents, and passive onlookers. Fact: because eco- side is so invisible the personal price offered must be orders of magnitude more awful than any before seen in history.

Fact:: all war is psychological. Fact: the weapon of un violint warriors is inflicting the pain, near unbearable, of the awful price they personally pay for what is right, on the opponents, and passive onlookers. Fact: because eco- side is so invisible the personal price offered must be orders of magnitude more awful than any before seen in history.

***** the purpose and function of un violence is to penetrate, to rip away, the veneer, the facade, the camouflage, to reveal underneath the true violence knowing that human physiology and psychology, even unvoluntarily, cannot remain evil, cannot allow evil, when it is clearly, sufficiently revealed. By far the most clearly I've ever seen this is in reading the book Iron Jawed Angels. See library tab this blog.

* the purpose and function of un violence is to penetrate, to rip away, the veneer, the facade, the camouflage, to reveal underneath the true violence knowing that human physiology and psychology, even unvoluntarily, cannot remain evil, cannot allow evil, when it is clearly, sufficiently revealed. By far the most clearly I've ever seen this is in reading the book Iron Jawed Angels. See library tab this blog.

By being poor and on the street I'm coming in contact with the closest thing we have in this society that can be considered universal family, that which Jesus died to bring to us. My point? There is such a thing, it exists. It is tiny, barely alive, but it exists, it is possible.

By being poor and on the street I'm coming in contact with the closest thing we have in this society that can be considered universal family, that which Jesus died to bring to us. My point? There is such a thing, it exists. It is tiny, barely alive, but it exists, it is possible.

'I must find out what people or groups in history have produced the most persistent loving. 'Everyone knows that they should not participate in politics,' said Teresa Calcutta. I've always been uncomfortable with her statement. But I've never been able to discard it. I spent much of my life studying un violent change movements. And I am glad. But few if any have changed Humanity's heart. Everything depends on changing Humanity's heart. When and how has this been best done?

'I must find out what people or groups in history have produced the most persistent loving. 'Everyone knows that they should not participate in politics,' said Teresa Calcutta. I've always been uncomfortable with her statement. But I've never been able to discard it. I spent much of my life studying un violent change movements. And I am glad. But few if any have changed Humanity's heart. Everything depends on changing Humanity's heart. When and how has this been best done?

nd I just don't know if I have the strength, wisdom, vision, love, compassion to accept that humanity is lost, with few exceptions. But if I am a creature of Love and Truth then I should face that and get on with doing what I can to help the few. I really think this is what I should do, and this is the only real work ahead of us.

I just don't know if I have the strength, wisdom, vision, love, compassion to accept that humanity is lost, with few exceptions. But if I am a creature of Love and Truth then I should face that and get on with doing what I can to help the few. I really think this is what I should do, and this is the only real work ahead of us.

nd 'OR... Is Psychological, Spiritual, Soul health the equivalent DNA rarity of Giftedness - Mozart, Edison, Da Vinci...? NO, there are communities, families, tribes of Health. Environmental.' Loving

nd 'OR... Is Psychological, Spiritual, Soul health the equivalent DNA rarity of Giftedness - Mozart, Edison, Da Vinci...?  NO, there are communities, families, tribes of Health.  Environmental.' Loving

nd 'YES, by DNA we're ALL born to be HEALTHY! But by ENVIRONMENT? ALMOST NONE.' Loving

nd 'YES, by DNA we're ALL born to be HEALTHY! But by ENVIRONMENT?  ALMOST NONE.'  Loving

'Other options for Loving... I FEEL LIKE AN MD IN THE MIDST OF A GLOBAL PLAGUE OF ZOMBI-ISM...

ARGH - I FEEL LIKE AN MD IN THE MIDST OF A GLOBAL PLAGUE OF ZOMBI-ISM  THAT IS

DESTROYING MY FAMILY... AND NO ONE, INCLUDING ME, HAS A CLUE

OF HOW TO CURE THE PLAGUE.

Other options:

Wait, wait, wait... for the right ultimate sacrifice time.  If the heart paddles have only one charge, and it is discharged on a corpse, well, that just killed the opportunity to save, right?

This speaks to ...
getting the surgery,  chemo...

learning,

researching,

writing,

resuming the Can. Emb. vigil,

supporting Obama/Organizing for Action....

'My best guess as to what the future holds for Loving.' Loving

[from a note to our premier Unviolent Warrior]

My cancer consult is next Thurs. 

I'm sure you are probably deeply read in the women's suffrage movement,
but ever since I saw Iron Jawed Angels a year ago I've been
in awe, and within the last 2 months read A Woman's Crusade -
Alice Paul and learned sooooooo much more.

Know what Martyr means? I didn't - learned that one just now
reading Steve Biko's writings - Martyr means witness; and I think
that means "evidence," "proof," "testament..." to the truth.

Inez Milholland was a Martyr - a witness that, you bet your ass
women's rights NOW is worth our very lives, NOW.  Did she want to be a martyr?
Did she want to die? Did she want to work herself to a 30 year old
death?  SHE WANTED WOMEN'S RIGHTS, NOW.  HER LIFE BECAME
AN UNMISTAKABLE WITNESS TO THAT. 

When Inez worked herself to death for the cause, who did she wake up? 
A DOZEN OR SO OF THE MOST COURAGEOUS
ACTIVISTS ALIVE - ALICE PAUL, AND ANOTHER HANDFUL, THAT
ALREADY WERE ON RAGING FIRE, BUT INEZ WITNESS MADE IT A BONFIRE,
THAT NO ONE KNEW WAS POSSIBLE.  That's how it works.  Right?
Or, the bonfire never, NEVER happen.

I am certain now that we are infinitely too dead to stop ecocide -
no matter that we could do it without breaking a sweat, almost none
of us dying.  Too inconvenient.  We are the
zombie apocalypse, already.  But, slowing it down,
saving 1, let alone 100 million over the next 1000 generations,
what would that be worth?  My life, if I could figure out how to
spend that, my life, MY ONLY ASSET, in a way that hold's promise?

Rock yes!  No?



My guess is that I'll find the new prognosis, treatment plan, of too
great a cost to society, and coming at the wrong time - the most firtile
6 months in human history to reduce, slow, stop... ecocide by global warming.

My lead thought is to go on a trek, a bike ride, around the country, till
the cancer stops me, with the message, question, a sign along the lines of:

WOULDN'T
U DIE 2
STOP ECOCIDE
BY FOSSIL FUELS?

'We are dying, quickly now, as a species, from malignant Lip Service.' Loving

"Example is not the major thing in influencing people.
It is the only thing." 

We are dying, quickly now, as a species, from malignant Lip Service.

Albert Schweitzer

Homeless vet Israel this morning: loving, I get paid next week and I'm going to rebuild your vigil. This 52 year old African American man, very intense, very serious , I have every reason to believe he means what he says. I'm deeply humbled and encouraged to inspire even a little of this goodness in another. This is our entire work, is it not?

Homeless vet Israel this morning: loving, I get paid next week and I'm going to rebuild your vigil. This 52 year old African American man, very intense, very serious, I have every reason to believe he means what he says. I'm deeply humbled and encouraged to inspire even a little of this goodness in another. This is our entire work, is it not?

'What We have done to Jesus teaching is beyond barbaric, is beyond primitive. He was entirely telling us that our psychology. And he was giving us the most advanced instructions analogous to using a computer, or diagnosing and treating a disease. Look at what we've done to it! We've turned it into unintelligible, worthless gibberish; useless, deadly mysticism. Snake oil. Nightmare.Utter madness.' Loving

'We have done to Jesus teaching is beyond barbaric, is beyond primitive.  He was entirely telling us that our psychology.  And he was giving us the most advanced instructions analogous to using a computer, or diagnosing and treating a disease.  Look at what we've done to it!  We've turned it into unintelligible, worthless gibberish; useless, deadly mysticism.  Snake oil. Nightmare.Utter madness.' Loving

nd 'Obi Wan withdrew, for a long time, until change became Possible.' Loving

nd 'Obi Wan withdrew, for a long time, until change became Possible.' Loving

***** [How fast can any population of addicts be Saved?] I've been wrong. I am sorry. Hopefully I'm learning: [added to the "Resurrecting..." book]: 119. I stop making the mistake of fantasizing that everyone, all, most… any but a Miniscule minority can be saved. Jesus has hardly Saved anyone, in 2000 years, and He was the best the World's seen. Just cuz I, or He, want to, does NOT make it possible. The world was to toxic with Affloholism, and now by 7 billion times more. Saving self and others remains the work, but but the one, or two, not all Humanity.' Loving

***** [How fast can any population of addicts be Saved?]

I've been wrong. I am sorry. Hopefully I'm learning:  [added to the "Resurrecting..." book]:

119.  I stop making the mistake of fantasizing that everyone, all, most… any but a Miniscule minority can be saved.  Jesus has hardly Saved anyone, in 2000 years, and He was the best the World's seen.  Just cuz I, or He, want to, does NOT make it possible.  The world was to toxic with Affloholism, and now by 7 billion times more. Saving self and others remains the work, but but the one, or two, not all Humanity.'

Loving

***** nd 'WITH THE POOR IS WHERE THE BLEST ARE - Blest are we poor. It is a hard life. But so is, well, pretty much every life. And by being poor, and working for the global neediest, guess what? I meet 98% more, I encounter more, I inspire more, of the Truly Good, in 1 week, than otherwise I might in a decade., Now, seriously, quickly - what greater Blessing than this? THIS IS WHERE THE CREATOR, GOD, GOOD... IS.' Loving

nd 'WITH THE POOR IS WHERE THE BLEST ARE - Blest are we poor.  It is a hard life.  But so is, well, pretty much every life.  And by being poor, and working for the global neediest, guess what?  I meet 98% more, I encounter more, I inspire more, of the Truly Good, in 1 week, than otherwise I might in a decade., Now, seriously, quickly - what greater Blessing than this? THIS IS WHERE THE CREATOR, GOD, GOOD... IS.'  Loving

nd 'What I tried to articulate yesterday - Jesus came to see that most would never be saved. He saw this with certainty; with horror, but certainty. He saw there was nothing he could do about it.' Loving

nd 'What I tried to articulate yesterday - Jesus came to see that most would never be saved. He saw this with certainty; with horror, but certainty. He saw there was nothing he could do about it.' Loving

nd 'For the last 13 years that I've devoted myself To humanity I've been alone, with some Miraculous, Heroic, Sheroic exceptions along the way. Not any longer. This most recent crisis, family, nonbiological, just came running to my assistance from all directions. Rather, I pray they came to the assistance of my work.' Loving

nd 'For the last 13 years that I've devoted myself To humanity I've been alone, with some Miraculous, Heroic, Sheroic exceptions along the way. Not any longer. This most recent crisis, family, nonbiological, just came running to my assistance from all directions. Rather, I pray they came to the assistance of my work.' Loving

nd 'The Existential test of a Culture is Sustainability. Indigenous Culture yes, Capitalistic Culture, no.' Loving

nd 'The Existential test of a Culture is Sustainability.  Indigenous Culture yes, Capitalistic Culture, no.' Loving

***** (!!!!!) nd 'The root of all evil is conditional, tribal, selective, loving, conditional family. If I love any one I must stop for getting this. We have so little time. If I love any one, I must keep my focus here. I must stop being confused and distracted. There is no time left for Error.' Loving

***** (!!!!!) nd 'The root of all evil is conditional, tribal, selective, loving, conditional family.  If I love any one I must stop for getting this.  We have so little time.  If I love any one, I must keep my focus here.  I must stop being confused and distracted.    There is no time left for Error.' Loving

nd 'I caught a flash of Jesus' vision last night. First time I've experienced that. It was his late in life prophecy Of how it would be in the end. It is not the details that I'm interested in or believe. It is the emphasis on how many are lost, AND WILL STAY LOST, DETERMINEDLY, AND THAT THIS WAS A LATE IN LIFE REVELATION FOR HIM, AN UNWANTED REVELATION FOR HIM, AS IT IS FOR ME . To his horror he saw how many were lost. He saw how few could be saved. Me too. I'm really damnale if I keep forgetting this. It is irresponsible of me. It is wrong.' Loving

nd 'I caught a flash of Jesus' vision last night.  First time I've experienced that.  It was his late in life prophecy Of how it would be in the end. It is not the details that I'm interested in or believe. It is the emphasis on how many are lost, AND WILL STAY LOST, DETERMINEDLY, AND THAT THIS WAS A LATE IN LIFE REVELATION FOR HIM, AN UNWANTED REVELATION FOR HIM, AS IT IS FOR ME . To his horror he saw how many were lost. He saw how few could be saved. Me too. I'm really damnale if I keep forgetting this.  It is irresponsible of me.  It is wrong.' Loving

It is official - all vigil property thrown in dumpster - unrevoverable Hide Details

Official word from park police. No more or less deadly, than is cancer.  We do what we want to the poor.

To partially recover, survive Tuesday's rain, while waiting the weeks till I get a 2nd cancer opinion,

I've just on craig's list and elsewhere spent $250 - (sounds like a lot - it is equivalent to 70% of everything you own, 70% of your entire wealth.)

Rain gear, tarps, sleeping bag cover, portable computer power (can't do solar for a while), backpack

to cary EVERYTHING now...

If anyone want's to dontate funds, mine are hugely depleated now, tho from some of you, you're

more depleated than I, and I'd not accept anything from you.  You've already given all you have

to humanity.

Any donations that can be spared will be shared with my 5 homeless friends also raped now of all worldly posessions, including the homesless (s) vets with me.

***** (!!!!! PLS READ !!!!) 'FACT: TRUE, MIRACLE-WORKING ACTIVISM (HUMANITY, SANITY, DUTY, LOVING...) IS, EQUALS, IS... PAYING WITH ONE'S LIFE TO HELP OTHERS - BY ALL HISTORICAL FACT.' Loving

***** (!!!!!) 'FACT: TRUE, MIRACLE-WORKING ACTIVISM (HUMANITY, SANITY, DUTY, LOVING...) IS, EQUALS, IS... PAYING WITH ONE'S LIFE TO HELP OTHERS - BY ALL HISTORICAL FACT. BY ALL HISTORICAL MEASURE.

ALL 'WAR' IS THE EFFORT TO MAKE THE STATUS QUO IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTINUE, TO ENDURE.

HISTORICAL FACT - PAYING THE PRICE WITH ONE'S LIFE FOR WHAT IS RIGHT, JUST, GOOD... IT CANNOT BE RESISTED, WITHSTOOD, 'SURVIVED...,' WHEN IN SUFFICIENT PURITY, QUANTITY, INTENSITY, DURATION, FREQUENCY.

Women's suffragists....

Tunisian Self-immolator...

Vietnam Self-immolators...

Guantanamo Hunger Strikers...

Sowetto school kids...

MY CREATOR, CAN'T WE GET ON WITH PLANNING HOW TO STOP ECOCIDE????? 

JOIN ME IN EXPLICIT PLANNING, WON'T YOU???

Loving

nd 'History's Miracle Workers are deemed such cuz their 'Vision' they act on like others act on Concrete Material Information.' Loving

nd 'History's Miracle Workers are deemed such cuz their 'Vision' they act on like others act on Concrete Material Information.' Loving

Loving's Cancer, Crisis - Update

No word yes on all belonging's from the vigil being cleared by police yesterday. Should know today.

Am now in the process, folks helping me, to schedule a cancer consult - 2nd opinion, at the elite Georgetown Cancer Center DC.  What I want is solid, actionable information.  Then I'll decide.

My biggest hurdle with DC is the restrictive Homeless Shelter Infirmary I'd be imprisoned in, in the most fertile 6 months left to Stop Ecocide.

MLK Jr. "A Person is not equipped to live unless.... they know what they would die for." ' "WOULD U DIE 2 STOP ECOCIDE?" I wish... I could carry, be, that message everywhere in the US that it needs to be seen, heard, considered. I believe there are, ARE, people that seeing it... would realize that for them, the answer is "YES," but no one is posing the question, that I see; or not enough are posing it, yet.' Loving

MLK Jr.  "A Person is not equipped to live unless....

they know what they would die for."

' "WOULD U DIE 2 STOP ECOCIDE?" I wish... I could carry, be, that message everywhere in the US that it needs to be seen, heard, considered.  I believe there are, ARE, people that seeing it... would realize that for them, the answer is "YES," but no one is posing the question, that I see; or not enough are posing it, yet.'  Loving

Update - Personal Catastrophe

Sisters, few friends, that immediately reached out to me -

You have no reason to be concerned, any more than usual.  Tho I've given you reason

to think otherwise.  I'm quite a different person than I thought I was, and I'm glad. That

I'm not rattled, shaken, distressed - today's event, the equivalent of someone's total house fire,

is so insignificant in my life, in contrast to where my concern is - our next 200 billion kids.  Oh well.

I won't know till tomorrow regarding the stuff.  80% chance the city workers were sent

in to destroy the stuff of we subhuman, street riff-raff.  20% chance the feds have it, which would let us get it back.  Should know by noon. Each officer I've spoken to has been stunningly humane, courteous.  They just can't tell from their records what was done with our stuff. I'm advocating for all we homelessriff-raff.  Tomorrow morning thy officers should be able to get to the actual staff that was involved.

Doc Cardile, bless her heart, walked 6 blocks, her own time, to consult with me re

the cancer.  This last death fast, totally unforseen by me, has worked some things in the

direction of Miracle - please follow this deeply - slightly increasing the prospective value

of me surviving an extra year or two, if it turns out that is possible, and not too sinfully expensive.

I really want to get what I consider to be a really authoritative treatment plan, diagnosis,

and cost analysis to society, now.  Then, I can decide what Humanity needs me to do.

Doc Cardile is ordering a referral, 2nd opinion from her Alma Mater Georgetown U, that she

says is top drawer. Tomorrow I should find out how soon this can take place.  I'll keep you advised.

The next 6 months is, by orders of magnitude, the best 6 months we have left, to stop

Genocide, so that I remain massively productive is a top priority.

I think Doc Cardile understands this - I sure have done my part - the potential problem being

the homeless shelter infirmary that normally is quite restrictive on patients where I'd have to stay,here in DC.  I need to be able to fight, full strength, every second the treatment would not

cripple me.

To be far too open, I am massively drawn to what seems to be still an open offer from sister (non bio - best kind) in Boston, for me to go there, live with her in her efficiency, and get Boston's unbeatable, free, care.  But Boston sis, I know me - I'm as fun as a root canal, as interesting to have around as putrid sand.  I'm horrified by the prospect of detracting from your life for 6 to 8 months of treatment, tho I yearn for the freedom it would give me to keep fighting, unfettered, those days I wasn't debilitated by treatment - not knowing transportation costs, etc, I even fantasize of making some disturbance on the pivotal campuses there - Harvard, Boston U, MIT...

But I just don't think I can do it to you sis.  I agonize at the thought.

If they can't do a rapid consult with me at Georgetown..., hmmm.

Brian, recovering from a 30 day hunger strike just ended, still had the strength to send someone

down with a sleeping bag for me.  I'll sleep well.

Delbert, a simply profoundly nice guy, homeless, made a special run to get me dinner from the homeless truck, while I tried to make progress toward recovering the stuff, with police.

All my signs, stuff, are all gone, for now.  There is something opportune in my ability to demonstrate the truth that I don't depend on stuff, nor did Jesus, nor should any of us - by continuing the vigil, my presence, in front of the embassy, for now, with only my body, and an mp3 player - my Dell is finally ready to go in for 3 weeks repair.  I'll probably send in tomorrow. Ugh.  I'd rather part with a leg, or two.

SLEEP WELL. 

Know that I know you are, and were there for me, as I'm giving my Life, for Joy, to try and

be there for us all.

I'll keep you advised.

I don't even know the phone # of the only used 3 times in 4 months emergency cell I have.

For now, email will have to do.  Please be patient with me.

Any and all comments, corrections, are welcome from you.

Cash is not an immediate problem thanks to you few friends.  What I'd need depends on much I'll learn tomorrow, and in coming days.  MERCIFULLY, I did NOT lose the solar battery, it was at firehookcharging, and I did NOT lose the solar panels - Elaine still has those.

***** PERSONAL DISASTER: CITY DESTROYED, DISCARDED ENTIRE VIGIL. GONE. GONE. GONE. ALL OF IT (DETAIL). Loving'

***** PERSONAL DISASTER: CITY DESTROYED, DISCARDED ENTIRE VIGIL. GONE.  GONE. GONE. ALL OF IT (DETAIL). Loving

No more malicious, truly, than cancer, or our war on the indigenous that simply happen to to be in the way of our ecocidal progress, or 200,000 to 1 million Iraqi's that just happened to live over the oil we Americans wanted...

...on the last day I was likely to be way from the vigil for more than moments, in coming weeks, I was away this morning for hours longer than ever, readying to send the Dell in for 3 weeks of repairs.

I arrived to what has been a recurring possible nightmare - the city, presumably, came with their dump truck, cleared the vigil, and any other unwatched belongings on the street.

Coincidence, costly, devastating coincidence. Not malice.  Conditional Love, Conditional Family, Tribal Love... these are not malicious - and they are by far the greatest Killer on Earth.

$350 solar battery gone.

$150 rolling suitcase gone.

$150 bedding, gone.

$100 signs, gone.

$150 clothing, gone.

It is going to be a cold night tonight in front of the Canadian Embassy. Mid 40's and all I have is a sweatshirt.

***** (!!! LAST UPDATE 1PM EASTERN. !!!) WILL NO ONE DIE FOR A FUTURE??? 'I'm not yet asking your consultation....' Loving

 [[[ For Creation's sake,

1. pour deeply, and courageously through this dialog,

2. SHARE WITH ANYONE AND EVERYONE THAT YOU THINK SHOULD SEE IT,

3. HURRY. ]]]


{{{ SEE REPLY, AND REPLY, BELOW; AND NEW REPLY, REPLY BELOW}}}}

CRUCIAL DIALOG.  CRUCIAL TO HUMANITY - THIS IS THE CRUX. UNLESS THIS GET'S RESOLVED, ALL EFFORTS ARE A HORRIBLE WASTE.

-----------

I'm not yet asking your consultation....

But can I leave this fight to Stop Ecocide, can I leave this life, not knowing if

there is anyone, ANYONE, that isn't YEARNING to Pay the Full Price of their Life

to Stop Ecocide????

Now, the following is an unassailable Truth for me, based on my reading, study,

practice, common sense...

'NO ONE CAN SAY THAT ECOCIDE CAN'T BE STOPPED!!!! NO ONE!!!!

ALL THAT CAN BE SAID IS THAT PEOPLE ARE UNWILLING TO PAY THE PERSONAL PRICE TO DO SO.'

Loving

I'm not even asking you if you think the above is incorrect.

But there could come that time when I'll ask you:

*  Isn't the above OBVIOUSLY correct?

*  Do you know anyone that might be YEARNING to pay the price of their life if it could Stop Ecocide

*  HOW MIGHT I BEST FIND AND CONNECT WITH SUCH PEOPLE?

*  How could we begin to dialog, search, explore the When, Where, How, Who, How Many...???

*  How could the opportunity be spread?

*  How could we grow, together.

REPLY  ----

"[Loving],I know you're not asking this yet but I want to tell you that there are a lot of people putting themselves

at risk.  They might not be thinking--and most aren't--that their particular action that day will cost them their 

life, but they go into an action with great risk, great courage.  We know the press.  They dont know

everything or write everything.  There are people in other countries who never get covered on their actions. 

So it is a bit premature--and a bit arrogant, really--to think that you hold the goal post of all goal posts. 

There are lots of people showing moral courage and they give me hope.  Brian just did an action that

could have cost him his life.  Some of these kids in Texas are sitting in trees so high that one wrong

move could have sent them plummenting to their death.  The difference between you and them is that

they don't want to die and are risking but you WANT to die and are risking.  I dont know why you want to

die. Why you insist on others dying.  You will have to tell me one day....

REPLY -----

Oh, dearest, most admired friend, Warrior,

1.  OK, you've started it now.  AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT!  Tho, unless those emerge that

YEARN to explore this, I'll cease now. I'm sure of it.

2.  I think my sincere, thoughtful, passionate reply obligates you to consider what I've just said below, really carefully, as I think

you'll have to admit, from the following, that I've really deeply considered what you've just said,

and,

3.  Please don't let this continue to go personal.  I'm not attacking anyone with my original email below.  I'm not holding

myself up. I'm sure I'm not.  Do you really think so?  Really?  I want to die?  Wouldn't I

be dead by now if that were the case?  Who do I chase around and denegrate???  I don't!  I communicted

to a few trusted friends.  I'm attacked, rebuked for that?  Why???  (rhetorical.  Plse, let's move on.)

4.  Or not. Not because of this email, for which I'm immensely gratful, but due to years of experince

that activism is a matter of satisfying personal wants, within personal limits, and is NOT about winning,

in time, no matter what the cost.  If in this last efforts such as the igniting email here, I'm done. I'll

spend the rest if my time in trying to make lifeboats of information, example, history... for the Spirital

salvation of some of the survivors of the Hell our selfishness, our limits as to what this is worth to us,

are with absolute certainty - dooming.

5. I'm obviously upset, in the following.  That is not bad!  If one is not upset with what is at stake,

with zero chance of success so far... one is dead!  I'm not dead.  Yes, I'm hurt!  Who the frick cares?

Not me!!!! Bring it on!  (((HUGS)))

----

My interest is not in me, it is in SUFFICIENT Strategy, PLAN, APPROACH, NOW, IN TIME, NOT

WHEN IT IS TOO LATE, THE CLOCK RUN OUT, THE WAR LOST, CREATION LOST, ECOCIDE UNSTOPPABLE. 

My interest is NOT IN 'TRYING,' BUT IN ACTUALLY STOPPING ECOCIDE.  POSTERITY DOES NOT

NEED US TO TRY!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY NEED US TO SUCCEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AND WE ARE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT COULD BE LESS PERSONAL THAN THAT??? 

I GET NO SATISFACTION, NO ABSOLUTION, NO 'CREDIT' FOR TRYING, AND I GIVE

NO CREDIT FOR 'TRYING (AND NOR DO I GO AROUND DENIGRATING OTHERS.  DO I???? THIS IS REALLY

UNFAIR TO TURN THIS PERSONAL ON ME.  INCORRECT. UNFAIR. WRONG.  ISN'T IT????) 

In fact what is so offensive

about me is that I refuse to make this personal, to me, or anyone showing any goodness on

this issue.  It isn't about me. It isn't about

how much I try, or how hard others try, per se, how much I or others pay, or don't pay;

per se - IT IS ABOUT ARE WE WINNING, IN TIME!!!! ISN'T THAT WHAT WE ALL SHOULD

BE OBSESSED WITH???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

ARE WE IN THIS JUST TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT OURSELVES FOR TRYING???? IN TRUTH, NEAR ALL

EVIDENCE WOULD SAY YES!!!!!  AND THERE IS NO HOPE OF WINNING UNTIL THIS CHANGES.

IS THIS ALL ABOUT SELF-CENTERED GRATIFICATION THAT 'WELL, IT TRIED,' FOREVER????

IS IT ABOUT 'ACTING OUT' OUR RAGE????  THAT IS NOT WHAT POSTERITY NEEDS FROM US!!!!

FOR ME IT IS ABOUT - ARE WE STOPPING ECOCIDE, IN TIME!!!  AND THE ANSWER IS ABSOLUTELY,

TOTALLY, COMPLETELY, INARGUABLY  NO!!!!!!  WE ARE NOT.  NOT A PRAYER ON THE HORIZON.

SHOULDN'T ALL FOCUS ON THAT, WINNING, NOW, BEFORE IT IS UTTERLY TOO LATE?????

Another thing that makes me so offensive is that I refuse to disempower myself or others

of good will by blaming - the establishment, fossil industry, gov, pres - LARGELY BECAUSE

THAT DISEMPOWERS THE ONLY PLACE THAT HOPE RESIDES:

*  THE BAD GUYS ARE NOT GOING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM.

*  ONLY THE GOOD GUYS, AMONG WHOM I TRY TO BELONG, HAVE ANY HOPE OF DOING IT.

To your questions, about the centrality of 'Death' in my thinking -

If one pays $1, it is more than 10 cents, less than $2.  That is really simple, and inarguable.

If one pays $10, but pays it $1 a month, it does not reach $10 until the 10th month,

but if they pay it all at once then it is immediately $10, and if the price of what

they want, they get their goal right away, instead of waiting 10 months, that might

be too late.

Women suffragists worked hard - that was in fact, paying a price.  Some went to jail.

That was in Fact paying, and registering as, paying a Higher price.  Some went

over and over.  Some endured, over and over, 3x a day force feeding, through the nose,

day after day, jailing after jailing.  Then Inez Miholland worked herself to death....

each was an acceration, increase... in PAYING THE PRICE THAT IT ULTIMATELY

WAS GOING TO TAKE TO GET WOMEN THE RIGHT TO VOTE.

The suffrage establishement was horrified at what Alice Paul and sisters were doing -

THEY DID NOT WANT SUCH TERRIBLE PRICE TO BE PAID - CUZ THEY DIDN'T

WANT TO FACE, AND BE PERSONALLY BE DRAWN IN.  Alice and her sister proceeded

anyway, drawing infinite rebuke - and accelerated Suffrage by months, years,

decades???? 

IF BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE, ONE WANTS AN OBJECTIVE, GOAL,

OUTCOME.., OR COMES TO WANT AN OBJECTIVE,

SO MUCH, THAT THEY WOULD PAY ANY PRICE, AND THE OTHER PERSON, EVEN

IF INFINITELY BETTER SKILLED, RESOURCED, WANTS TO PAY MUCH LESS... 

I'VE LEARNED TO BET ON THE ONE

THAT WOULD PAY ANY PRICE.  THEY MAY OR NOT HAVE TO PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE-

BUT IF THEY HAVE REACHED THE POINT THAT THEY WANT SOMETHING THAT BAD, THAT THEY WOULD -

THEY PERSONALLY BECOME AN ULTIMATE FORCE, AND OFTEN, INFUSE THAT FORCE IN

OTHERS, IGNITE THEM, INSPIRE THEM, BRING THEM ON FIRE!!!!. 

FOR SUCH PEOPLE ONLY, THAT PAY, THAT OFFER, THAT JOYFULLY WOULD PAY,

THE ULTIMATE PRICE FOR A WORTHY GOAL...-

THE CREATOR, THE BLACK ROCK... COMES ON

THEIR SIDE!!!  ONLY THEN!!!!!! WHO CAN ARGUE THIS??? THIS IS NOT CLEVER ON MY PART!!!!

I've studied, rigorously, as you know, historical Unviolent Actions, for years, and I'm

just going through another immersion, and I experience going to a whole new level in

terms of Strategic insight - (why so slow????  Argh!)

You know, in the military, there are probably politics, jealosies, feelings get hurt,

people lose sight of the goal, winning, and focus on themselves, whatever, but when

someone is searching, in the pentagon, MI Complex, for a more powerful weapon, a better stragegy, a more

powerful, more accelerated way, A MORE CERTAIN SUCCESS... do they come under attack, suspicion, do they

'hurt' others in the effort?  Well, basically, NO.  IT IS THEIR JOB TO RELENTLESSLY

SEARCH FOR:

* CERTAINTY OF WIN,

* MORE FORCE,

* NEW INSIGHTS,

* NEW WAYS....  THIS IS WHAT THEY  ALWAYS DO!!!! 

BUT ALMOST NEVER IN 'ACTIVISM.'  AND WE WONDER WHY WE LOSE?!?!?!!?

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO STOP ECOCIDE IN TIME?  NO, YOU DO NOT!!!  Neither do I. 

AND NEITHER OF US KNOWS WHO DOES??? THAT BOTHERS ME.  SHOULDN'T

THAT BOTHER ME????????????????????????????????????????????????????  WHAT KIND

OF A CREATURE WOULD I BE IF I WERE NOT CONSTANTLY...

1. FACING THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW YET; I'M A FAILURE SO FAR; I'M NOT INFORMED

ENOUGH, TRYING HARD ENOUGH, PAY THE SUFFICIENT PRICE YET, IN THE RIGHT WAY,

AT THE RIGHT TIME...;

2. FACING THAT I SEE THIS DEADLY LACK... AS MY/OUR FAILING, BECAUSE THERE

ARE SO MANY ELEMENTS  TO STOP ECOCIDE ALREADY IN PLACE - THAT BY ALL HISTORICAL

MEASURE WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO STOP THIS.

Why my fascination with Death????  My Goodness, it is so simple.  DEATH IS THE ULTIMATE

PRICE!   THIS IS NO MORE ODD THAN TRUMP BEING FASCINATED WITH THE NEXT

$1 TRILLION!!!  OR THE PENTAGON BEING FASCINATED WITH THE NEXT GENERATION

BUNKER-BUSTER, OR NUC!!!!!

Why Donald Trump's fascination with $200 billion vs $100 billion???

***** !!!!!!  ******....

Every movement I study, each new one for me, all the others, were essentially a matter

of PAYING THE EVENTUALLY SUFFICIENT PRICE to ignite previously sleeping, dead, or oppositional Souls. 

AND AS SOON AS THE AWFUL PRICE WAS ULTIMATELY PAID, IT BECAME A PRICE

THAT COULD NOT BE WITHSTOOD.  THINGS, PEOPLE, COULD NOT RESIST CHANGING. THEY

COULDN'T STAND THE PRICE - ANY MORE!!!!!!!

It is almost straight math, STRAIGHT ACCOUNTING.  WHEN THE SUFFICIENT PRICE IS FINALLY 

PAID IN FULL, THAT THE ONLOOKERS, OTHER POTENTIAL FIGHTERS, AND EVEN OPPOSITION,

CAN NO LONGER BEAR - THE WIN HAPPENS, THE CHANGE HAPPENS!!!!! THIS IS WONDERFUL TO

UNDERSTAND, TO DISCOVER!!!!

THIS CLARITY FOR ME IS A MISSIVE BREAKTHRU IN RECENT WEEKS.

After enough times, days, weeks, years of women in the

suffrage movement paying un-bearable price - jailings, force feedings, beatings,

disgrace, ostracism, public ridicule, indignities - the onlookers, opposition,

Anti-aparthied, suffrage, civil rights, gay rights, gun control, stopping ecocide - it is basically

an Accounting Problem, and Price Problem.

And understanding that, seeing that now - I WANT TO UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:

1. WHAT IS THE SUFFICIENT PERSONAL PRICE - UNVIOLENT ACTION - VIOLENT ACTION LOOKS

TO EXACT THE PRICE FROM OTHERS - THE OPPOSITION.

2. WHEN DOES IT NEED TO BE PAID IN FULL BY - 2013.  If later, BEST CASE it is economic genocide

forever; more likely it is Ecocide, forever.

3.  What is the payment that can be IN FULL, fast enough? 

4.  How current, ongoing efforts (tree sitters, other efforts) be better added to become part of

the PAID IN FULL. HOW CAN THEY BE MODIFIED, ADDED TO, AMPLIFIED... THAT THEY

BECOME MORE FULL PAYMENT, FASTER.. IN TIME.....

And, I can't figure this out, in time, by myself, and if I could, which I can't, then I figure it out,

alone, and it, is, too, late. 

---------- REPLY --------------

Hey Loving, I am responding to this one statement you said:  "But can I leave this fight to Stop Ecocide, can I leave this life, not knowing if there is anyone, ANYONE, that isn't YEARNING to Pay the Full Price of their Life to Stop Ecocide????

Those words "YEARNING to Pay the Full Price" is a little troubling.   Yearning is wanting in my book.  And yep, I could be wrong but i think you have been wanting to die on your actions for a long time.

 Loving, I don't think there are a lot of people who are yearning to die.  I think our basic instincts are to live. You are going to have to look in some pretty dark places before you find people yearning to pay full price.  And I think even the military (remember, I was once in the Army as a medic) if they found a combatant yearning to pay the full price, they would pull that solider out.  My two cents and if that takes me off your warrior list then take me off.

--------- REPLY FROM LOVING (AND MLK JR) ----------

MLK Jr, mid 1950's, paraphrase:  'Now, you might not have much money, you might not have an education, you might not be able to read and write... BUT YOU HAVE THE CAPACITY TO DIE...."

YES, MY MOST RESPECTED, MOST ESTEEMED, MOST ADMIRED FRIEND  - ALL I HAVE TO PAY, IS MY LIFE - I HAVEN'T THE ARMAMENTS NECESSARY TO STOP ECOCIDE IN TIME, I HAVEN'T THE CONNECTIONS, I HAVEN'T THE CO-FIGHTERS, I HAVEN'T THE TIME, I HAVEN'T THE LEARNING, THE CHARISM, THE STATURE, THE PLATFORM.

THE ONLY THING I HAVE OF VALUE, THE COULD BE PART OF ENOUGH, IS MY LIFE.

YES, I YEARN TO SEE THE WAY THAT I CAN SPEND THE ONLY THING OF VALUE TO STOP GENOCIDE.

I'D FIND ANYTHING LESS IN MYSELF TO INSANITY, INHUMANITY, VIOLENCE, SICKNESS... STATUS QUO.

---------------

Huh?  There is nothing you can do to take yourself off that list. Your Life, your Being, puts you on.

But, as you've found before, it is NOT my intent to harass, or inflict pain for no reason.

Well, no question you are being honest but that doesn't mean you are being correct.

John Q was YEARNING for his Life to be enough to save his son.

Alice Paul was YEARNING that she could pay, could BE the price of suffrage.  Inez Milholland DID,

WILLINGLY, pay the price of her life, BY CHOICE.  This is all obvious.  She, at every breath,

paid the maximum she could pay.  Was her goal to pay????  Her goal was to secure suffrage.

Diane Wilson paid what to near all was the price of her life - her boat.  That SHE might

say different does not mean that the masses said she was crazy to WANT to pay

such a price, to WANT THAT TO BE ENOUGH TO SAVE HER BAY, AND BAY FAMILY.

Yes, if I am to remain isolated, if there is to be no dialog, anywhere, worthy of

the future, and it is on the basis of what I'm asserting, I can and will rest at peace with that.

Yes, IF THERE IS NO ONE YEARNING, as there ABSOLUTELY seems not to be, THAT THE MAXIMUM

THEY HAVE TO PAY, THEIR LIFE, IN WHAT OBVIOUSLY WILL COST A TERRIBLE PRICE, if there is no

one YEARNING THAT THE MAXIMUM THEY CAN PAY,

THEIR LIFE, - WILL BE ENOUGH TO WORK THE MIRACLE, if that is the

basis for my isolation, the non-existance of REMOTELY serious dialog to stop ecocide, well,

that's pretty much what I've concluded, BECOME CLEAR AND CERTAIN ON, and the reason

I even considered one last probe to find out. 

Well, I've put the probe out there, and if it draws no YEARNERS TO BE THE SUFFIENT

PRICE OF A HUMAN FUTURE, we're done, the future is done.  And this is what I suspect

is true.

NOTHING IMPORTANT IN HUMAN HISTORY HAS COME FROM FOLKS THAT PLACED THEIR

PULSE AT HIGHEST VALUE.

EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING IMPORTANT IN HUMAN HISTORY HAS COME EXACTLY FROM THOSE THAT

PLACED SOMETHING(S) AT HIGHER VALUE THAN THEIR PULSE, THEIR AVATAR.  THIS

CANNOT BE DISPUTED, BUT IT IS ALWAYS DISPUTED.  "THAT THEIR 'WORDS' DID

NOT STATE IT AS 'YEARNING TO BUY THE FUTURE WITH THEIR LIFE" IS A TRIVIALITY.

"Alice Paul just wants to be a Martyr!!!" THIS WAS SLANDERED OVER AND OVER ABOUT

HER, MOSTLY FROM WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN HER ALLIES. 

No, Alice Paul just wanted suffrage, AND THAT SHE HAD THE PRICE TO PAY FOR IT, NOW,

regardless of what everyone said, especially those that should have been her

closest allies. 

NOTHING GREAT IS PURCHASED...

1.  AT LESS THAN AN AWFUL, AWFUL, AWFUL PRICE.

2.  BY THOSE GOING IN WITH A MAXIMUM PRICE IN MIND THAT THEY WILL PAY.

"Oh, I want to Stop Ecocide,"  AS LONG AS IT DOES NOT COST ME TOO MUCH!

(This will be the Epitaph of all humanity.  Yes.)

ylb forever, but NOT to be your tormentor, forever 

REPLY-----------------------

yearning and willing are two different words.  diane was willing to sink her boat, but she was not yearning.  It was hard hard to sink that boat.  maybe that was why it was so important.  she loved that boat and sunk it.  We can live life, love life, and still put ourself out there.  That is important i think.  Maybe youre just using the wrong word.  i think there are many many people willing to risk.  you can rest easy if that is the word.  but yearning?  the only ones who might be yearning are religious zealots and ive seen them up close seeing folks raised by them.  those ones with a bible in one hand and a stick of dynamite in the other.  they're yearning for life on the other shore.  aka death.  i think you are very harsh with yourself, Loving. very harsh.  it worries me so.  you are such a good man but you put such tight armor around yourself.  you are a hard man to know!!!! 

------------------- Loving's Reply

Oh Creator, I Love you. I'm sooooo unspeakably grateful for you.  Before, and after,

the day our communication ever ends.  Unconditional - cept, YOU are the condition - your Being.

It is 90% the 'word,' and it has always been this between you and me beloved friend.

You and I are children of the Black Rock, and we've embraced this, every breath,

while others flee it, so tragic.  We are of the same truth, but massively different

background and language.  We must, must, must keep this in mind, every moment

we choose to be in dialog.

I DON'T WANT TO DIE.  I DON'T WANT TO DIE.  I DON'T WANT TO DIE!  I'VE NEVER SAID

ANYTHING MORE TRUE.

ALL I HAVE TO PAY IS MY LIFE TO STOP ECOCIDE, IN TIME - I WANT THAT TO BE ENOUGH TO STOP ECOCIDE.

I'VE NEVER SAID ANYTHING MORE TRUE.

TRUMP DOESN'T WANT TO WORK!  BUT SOMETIMES HE, THE SLIME, HOPES THAT,

YEARNS THAT, IF HE WORKS, PAYS HIS LIFE, HIS TIME, HIS STRENGTH... WITH EVERY OUNCE OF STRENGTH, THAT SOMETHING

HE VALUES MORE WILL COME.

I'm not, NOT, not, trying to win the argument on the word.  Please, PLEASE look

past my word, for what I mean.

YLB, forever, no matter what 

------------ REPLY -------------

well, I just think we're miscommunicating, Loving.  You are yearning for meaning.  I am yearning for meaning too.  That I desire.  that i want.  I  yearn with all my being for meaning.  And I am willing to pay the price to that meaning.  but i am not yearning to pay the price...a little difference. excuse me if i misunderstand, but i feel that you are yearning to pay the price and that is the most meaningful thing.  I am yearning for meaning and willing to pay the price.  some subtlety there somewhere. Maybe that is why you were such a good company owner. you gave your all.  lordy, you are INTENSE!

------------ LOVING's Reply ------------

 

Lordy, I am intense.  Lordy, unlike you???

Never again Stoppable Ecocide is intense.

The ONLY THING I HAVE TO PAY WITH THAT MIGHT REMOTELY BE SUFFICIENT, IS MY LIFE. That is true for any of us, ALL OF US,  against the most highly financed, powerful force, ever to be on earth - the fossil fuel industry.

I want to have enough TO PAY THE PRICE.  I what to be enough.  I need to find if there are others, that with whatever words, FEEL, ARE, the same way.

Then, if we can get past the words, to the meaning, we can begin to figure out

how to win, IN TIME, WHICH IS THE SAME THING.

WE WILL NOT FIGURE IT OUT TILL SUCH PEOPLE FIND, OR RECOGNIZE EACH OTHER,

AND PRICE NOT THE ISSUE, WINNING IN TIME IS, AND BEGIN TO SERIOUSLY, COURAGEOUSLY, FEARLESSLY, RELENTLESSLY, BRUTALLY... ASK THE QUESTION NO ONE HAS ASKED, NO ONE IS

ASKING, AND THE ONLY QUESTION THAT CAN STOP ECOCIDE:

What price will it take, by when, in what form by whom, where.... to Stop Ecocide in time???

---- reply ----- 

okay, i will look past your word, but a lot of possible recruits might stumble over that word before they get your message.  ha. ylsxxxx yes no matter what. but lordy!!!!

-------- Loving's Reply -----------

If the dialog is to start, to finally Start, it is exactly that I can't do it myself; need help

on, fall short on... every front, including language, that I even thought of reaching out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    

 ----------------REPLY --------------

we'll loving i think there are folks with the X that are willing to step out there.  I think the XX movement has the potential.  i think they are fed up and their backs are against the wall.  I dont think there is an enormous bunch of people but i believe there are a few.  i know some guys in XXX that want peace on earth pretty bad and are willing to step our there.  i think--now this is my personal opinion--that you should heal your body, take that damn chemo if you have to--then you need to go to some of these gatherings where you can talk to young people about being courageous and standing up. they need to hear it. hear you. but Death Fasts???  hmmmm.  i will calf rope you and send you on a train to YYY . ha. xxxyls 

-------- Loving's Reply --------------

Oh Creator.  OXYGEN, YOU ARE OXYGEN. Did you just commit?  NO!  But we are talking, about what needs

to be spoken of.

What is central to what I'm saying?  Is it Death Fast?  NO!  Is it Dying?  NO!!!!

WHAT IT IS - WE CANNOT FIND THE ANSWER - HOW TO STOP THIS IN TIME, IF WE

START WITH ANYTHING, ANYTHING, ANYTHING (STATED OR UNSTATED) OFF THE

TABLE!!!!  AND SO FAR, UNSTATED OFF THE TABLE HAS BEEN-

UNSPEAKABLE PRICE

UNSPEAKABLE INCONVENIENCE.

ALL I'M SAYING IS, EVERYTHING HAS TO BE ON THE TABLE FOR THE 1, THE 2, THE 3...

IN DIALOG TO HAVE PRAYER AT 

1. FINDING, AND 

2. SPARKING WHAT UNQUESTIONABLY WOULD BE THE

BIGGEST, MOST IMPOSSIBLE, MOST IMPORTANT MIRACLE IN HUMAN HISTORY.

EVERYTHING MUST BE EXPLICITLY ON THE TABLE FOR THIS.

IT NEVER HAS BEEN.

MAYBE, DO TO YOU, THIS WILL CHANGE.  

---------- REPLY --------

oh that is difficult for you...my goodness.  loving reaching out

--------- Loving's Reply ----------

You are teasing, but in Truth, you will NEVER MEET ANYONE MORE GREEDY FOR

HELP. 

And you will never meet anyone MORE DETERMINED THAT IT BE TRUE, TRUE,

TRUE help.  We are out if time.  I don't care what price, personally, I have to

pay to find the True Help, and out of Love of the Individual, and Humanity,

I can't mis-use a second on those that I SHOULD HAVE HAD THE LOVE,

AND COURAGE, TO RECOGNIZE WEREN'T TRUE HELP.

And What, What, WHAT is the LITMUS???

PLACING EVERYTHING ON THE TABLE - WILLING TO PERSONALLY PAY WHATEVER

PRICE IT TAKES.  YEARNING TO FIND, AND PAY WHATEVER IT TAKES, NOT A

BIT MORE, NOT A BIT LESS, NOT A SECOND LATER THAN IS NEEDED.

   

-------- ANOTHER PARTICIPANT REPLY -------------

 By this time next year - as fast as is humanly possible - we will have 4 million on death fast....

----- Loving's reply -------------

And if and when the right 4, the right 40, are, if soon enough, in the right place, at the right time, on Death Fast... they will spark the next echelon - the Army equivalent sparked by the Marines - Death Fasters the Spark on 1000x as many Hunger Strikers-in-repeating-waves... and they will spark the Millions of Supporters.... AND THEN ECOCIDE STOPS. 

WE DON'T GET TO SET THE TIMEFRAME - IS IT NOW, OR NEVER. 

WE MAY SAY, GEE, I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, BY NOW, AND IF IT DOES NOT, we may feel good about how well we tried; and ALL OF CREATION WILL FEEL WHAT UNSTOPPABLE HELL ON EARTH FEELS LIKE.

Apollo 13:  FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION, must be our motto, what we live and die by, or Failure is not going to happen.

"Close only counts in horseshoes, and hand-grenades."

------------ ps: About cancer treatment for Loving -----------

ps sis:  Last from the docs when they saw 2 tumors in my liver -

for $30,000 we can take you from 10% chance of seeing year 5,

to 20%. 

for $60,000, chemo plus a liver section surgery, maybe from 10% to

see year five to 30-40%.  MAYBE.

If ecocide is to be stopped - the physics are clear, Creation is clear; Mother Nature, Gaia is clear 

-

30 years ago was too late,

but in 2013 we still have a prayer:

So,

#1.  I'm going to take myself out of battle for 8 of the 8 months left to win?

#2.  EQUALLY IMPOSSIBLE - $60,000 keeps 120,000 kids alive an additional day - $.50 cents per day - FACT.  Huh?  HOW CAN I TAKE A DAY OF LIFE AWAY FROM 120,000 KIDS?  I can't.

"Only the Paranoid Survive," Grove, Founder of Intel.  True, no matter which great agent of change says it.

LOVING u