6.24.2023
Update, nope. Cycling. Cycling, finally, after 6 years? Quite likely.
Was today extraordinary because recent days have been so hard? Possible but I don't think so.
Why is the Rubik's Cube not five times greater in each dimension? Because it would be so many variables that no one could make any sense of it.
Cycling is just the right amount of variables, not too few, but not too many. Guess what James has been trying to do for 6 years? Have an infinite number of variables to manage, almost literally, and he didn't realize it of course.
Some things that have been developing in the last weeks converged today into this realization and some other factors. In no particular order:
* cycling becomes possible when the Torso provides a sufficiently stable environment, even as much or more than the right relationship to sol.
* three points provide the environment where the legs can cycle. The very very lowest point of the spine or pelvis, about 3 in up from there in the spine, and the point in space where the toes would almost reach full extension but instead experience the place where they should slightly drop, a null space.
* the first two points when the upper point is slightly ahead of it provide a vector and a backboard if you will against which the legs can extend.
* it is entirely not the function of the Torso to provide any of the energy toward the pedals, it only confuses and introduces infinite variables and locks up the legs when it tries to do so.
* it is 100% the function of the Torso to provide the structure that frees the legs to cycle.
* one of the features of cycling is constant Cadence and in this case constant contact with that null space described above as the objective point and synchronizing point, the timing point, for the cycling.
* output has not been better in years. Perceived effort for output has not been better in years. Enjoyability has rarely been so good ever.
* an attribute of cycling is proactive initiative, the legs, need to feel proactive and somewhat in control and the above provides that, and the slightly aggressive tilt of the angle of the first two points, roughly the pelvis, is essential to the legs finding and having that initiative.
* 100% of the cycling is a convergence inside the triangle defined by those three points.
* update: It seems impossible to overemphasize that the starting and ending point is keeping the Torso properly occupied so that it is not trying to do the legs work and leaving to the legs the work of the Torso which is to create the frame of the cycle.
* and it is the opportunity of, it is needed of, the Torso by positioning it's own weight and gravity to cause all the energy to be within the triangle and not to escape.
* the opportunity of the Torso is to fulfill a proactive I've got you to the legs. The opportunity of the legs is a predictability for the torso. The focal point being cycling of the feet out to the no point.
6.05.2023
Cycling. Is the recumbent seat back there to drive me insane?
I've had mostly cycling that felt wonderful for this last month or so as I frequently reported, each day better than the next. And beginning with the climb out of Boulder I knew nothing about cycling. I could make no sense of it. It's been Brute Force ever since. Not complaining, but frustrating and a bit discouraging.
2 days ago was a monster climb up through Rocky Mountain National Park. Magnificent. Taking nutrition before leaving at 5:40 in the morning, was totally forgotten. 3200 calorie day. Over 12,000 FT elevation at the top, oxygen deprivation.
About 3/4 of the way up, when every recalled technique was just not flowing, a new thought occurred. James, all you want is for this to have the intuitive Simplicity of a conventional bicycle, correct? Correct. Does the conventional bicycle have a seat back? No, it doesn't. Would you have wanted it to have one? No, I wouldn't. Then why do you want to use it on this recumbent bike? Because it's there? Maybe that's not a good answer james. And for the rest of the day where there was still a lot of peddling left, and yesterday in an hour's ride, it had the intuitive simple elegant nature of a conventional bike.
My recollection of the years I spent on a conventional bike, is now that the exertion is not between the back of a seat on the bicycle that doesn't exist, it is between the very lower part of the spine and the toes and everything in between.
All this brings to mind Jodie Foster in the movie contact where finally she does what doesn't make sense, she releases the safety belt of the seat into which she has been strapped. And all of a sudden things make sense.
Attempting to use the seat back for some sort of leverage in this recumbent sets up a thousand variations that change from instant to instant which means different body mechanics are required instant to instant. All occurring while the body is desperately trying to contribute energy to our travel, exhausted. It comes close to driving me insane everyday. By instead focusing james, your starting and ending point is the very base of your spine, the lowest part of your pelvis in the rear, the simplicity just was what it should be and the body could focus on what it needed to do, and the output has never been better, the cardiovascular workout has never been better.
Two or three hours of cycling is far from any proof. But James is not without some optimism.
3.17.2023
2.23.2023
Learned to Cycle Sol, this week, maybe.
1. Reload,
2. Each arch,
3. To carefully protected home voin close to perineum.
1.09.2023
James, a radical change, for now
What if Jesus, not the church, what if the man Jesus discovered, lived and taught (his 1000 teachings) the best way yet known to live an individual life of intense joy, love, peace, life?
This is a hypothesis that could be tested by science, wouldn't that be wonderful, but also by any individual.
For the joy of it, and out of a deep love for a suffering, dying, world James for the moment at least is making of his life as intense, accelerated, deep, honest experiment in this hypothesis as he possibly can.
He's always open to change when a better path presents itself, but he feels that this may well be the reason he was born, to undertake this experiment. To test this hypothesis with all his might.
At least over the next few weeks if not longer, this is likely to manifest in substantially changed behavior by James. He has spent the last 22 years overtly advocating for many causes. In order to increase his hopefulness for those causes, his usefulness for those causes, he expects to be rather maniacally focusing his efforts as described above, which will manifest in a withdrawal at least short term from over efforts for those causes.
He expects to be doing much or most of his posting now at the site in the picture above.
1.05.2023
🤣. Is James being too hard on himself?
Many times during the day James is prompted by a randomized timer, Android application, to ask himself how he's doing in Jesus family business? The scale he uses is minus 5 to +5 and in recent days the ranking typically comes out around 3.2. 8.2 on a scale of 0 to 10. Better than he's been doing in years, or ever, but very exciting? Not really. A thought just occurred to him. James, how many are doing as well as you in the eyes of Jesus and his father, now or throughout history? Well what occurred to me is, very few now or ever. And that made me laugh. It continues to seem to me that it has occurred to No One except for James that what's important about Jesus is that he showed us the Joyful Way of being, given our DNA determined nervous system, which oh by the way could have saved the species, too late for that, but nonetheless the most Joyful Way of being for any individual that chooses to learn, follow, master his lead. And I'm not sure that Jesus even understood that. I think it had him rather than him grasping it. That fact. That it was the most joyful Way of conceiving of one's life and living ones life. Which is to say that as pitiful as his efforts are, James would in fact be delighting Jesus and his father, my father too, considerably higher than that 3.2, or 8.2 on a scale of 1 to 10. And that makes James sad. Because his abilities are so limited, no one will ever know what he's discovering, but that's beyond his control. For the joy of it James will continue to do his work.
1.04.2023
Misunderstanding Jesus: looking forward to the church instead of backward to the prophets. He frequently warned against what would happen in the future after him, and frequently referred to what had come before him.
Surely I experience myself as this sort of thing. James
https://archive.org/details/prophets00abra/mode/2up
1.03.2023
1.02.2023
Jesus the man: what if every moment of his adult life what's the most gratified that anyone has lived?
I've always thought that this was the case. And for weeks now I'm explicitly experimenting on myself to see whether that was true. From the gospels I'm attempting to understand as deeply as I can who he was and to be the same way inside.
Regardless of how he thought of it, what I'm seeing is someone that totally identified with the highest potentialities within him. Potentialities that were probably shaped by his upbringing including the Jewish prophets, and in my experiment I am having my highest moral potentialities shaped by my experience of the man Jesus in the gospels. And as he personified his, I'm personifying mine, my creator. And I'm working to have my every moment with a side glance over to that creator, and that's a thing for me now, asking myself, how can I make creator laugh at my next attempt at goodness? And when I connect with that I can feel Creator laughing, and that gives me joy.
This is madness to our world. Saturday that prevails in our world is destroying all of creation for today's children and tomorrow's grandchildren and great grandchildren at all species.
I I could reach the point of deciding that this is no longer a worthwhile experiment, and/or that the results are clear to me that his is not the most gratified life for some, many, or all of us humans. Living his internal life which is there for anyone to see through detailed examination of the thousand teachings he gave us on how to be in the world. All of my experiment so far indicates that it is.
By living at means just above the federal poverty level I'm afforded the luxury of doing this experiment, at least some would see it that way. Others, if they were honest would say that I'm sacrificing everything important for this experiment.
This time of my work calls for some more weeks of getting as close to the man Jesus as those thousand instructions allow me to do. And that can best be served by continuing to be quite stationary as I am in this Owens valley area. And if I don't wear out my welcome then I expect for some more weeks to be here. And then to take myself back out into the world. To continue the experiment. And that others can see and experience the experiment in different settings and situations. Me too.
1.01.2023
As I get to know Jesus....
20 years of focus, and now many weeks devoted to intimate understanding, I'm patiently waiting for increased Clarity that percolate Within me. What are the primary things that were instrumental to him, that he tried to impart to us?
If and when I find sufficient clarity, five, 10 major elements, then I expect to affix those as labels making his 1,000 teachings searchable by those. http://www.jesian.org/
Progress is being made by me I feel, and these are current elements:
Tickle Creator: keep Creator joyfully laughing at your pitiful attempts to do good in the world, as a toddler keeps the loving parent laughing with their joyful attempts.
Be of Jesus/Creator: so identify with creator and his earthly embodiment, Jesus, that you become more and more of them, as we might rarely say of a child, I see the parent in them.
Find Creator within you: Creator may exist outside of you, but clearly Jesus experienced Creator within him, the kingdom of God is within you. Make yourself, keep yourself, one with that creator within you, your highest moral potentialities. Personify that.
Fear Satan's World: fear, not as in cower, but as in the healthy respect one would have for keeping their finger out of the way of the knife blade. Everything outside the kingdom of your highest moral potentialities is hell. The place of pain, suffering, selfishness, hatred, hoarding, cruelty, anxiety, worry, depression, physical pain.... Every breath you remain in the kingdom within you is instead living the fruits.
Joy Peace Love Life the Fruits
If one of the few great psychologists there's ever been said to a patient, if you enter by me you will be saved. One...
If one of the few great psychologists there's ever been said to a patient, if you enter by me you will be saved. One might be skeptical but one might also have faith in the psychologist. Jesus was the greatest psychologist that's ever been. That is how he should be understood. That's how I'm understanding him. And my experience is that he's correct.
12.31.2022
71y/o and only now with the tools to make acquaintance with the man Jesus.
Many weeks now in the desert spent extracting his 1000 teachings from underneath the mountains of dogma, mysticism, proof of divinity statements in the gospels. And I've randomized it and in groups of three and four am slowly working to make them part of me. And he is emerging as never before. There's no other way to get to know, and to love the man, and finally I'm in a position to do it. And so are you I think because I've made the file available here.
Identification: Jesus believed that the Creator was dominant with in all of as children. The worldly cultures arou....
Identification: Jesus believed that the Creator was dominant with in all of as children. The worldly cultures around us draw us out of that family. By totally identifying with the Creator within him he made that manifest, and made of himself a Beacon of light to some others of us to return to that family, to return to that total identification
To any considering suicide: I haven't liked being alive for....
To any considering suicide: I haven't liked being alive for many many years. I find this world hell, all the nastiness, selfishness, cruelty, denial, hoarding, hatefulness.... And I have a hunch that those with the most enviable, joyful, lives in my eyes throughout history may have felt much the same. Jesus, Bonhoeffer, Tolstoy, Buddha, Schweitzer, Lsgiabeing.com... Jesus said unless you hate your life in this world you cannot be my disciple. If you love
12.28.2022
Major update
I actually see how to save the world, for the first time. And for all practical purposes I see how to save an individual. No, really.
I don't know that what I see is the only way, tho it may be, but it is certainly a way. It's not going to happen, it's too little too late, as far as saving the world, but not too late necessarily to save the child within an individual, bringing them back from the death that we visit on them with our culture.
I think Jesus found it, I think he was on to it. I think he lived it, taught it, provided the paradigm and the teachings. There may be millions that have taken him at his word, if you feed on me you will live, feeding on his words and example, taking them to heart, deeply understanding them, living them, there may be millions or billions, but I'm not sure there are any. And until I find it's a dead end or there's a better way to spend my life, I'm going to try and do it.
And in the last three or four days that I have been stepping out in this direction it's exhausting, it's hard work mentally, it requires disciplines and habits that are contrary to what I have, I don't have the skills to learn and incorporate his 1000 teachings so I'm really stumbling, but I intend to keep stumbling.
This stage, my view, is capacity building, skill building, strength building. It's a lot of hard work.
Logistically it seems that things are working out, but in this sparsely populated relatively vast Owens valley, Lone pine area, I'm finding ways to stay out of sight, out of mind, and quite a few people, not all, but quite a few people at least tolerate and I think even like me. I think quite a few are basically glad that I'm around. They like what they see. They're curious, they're interested, and as I say, I stay out of sight and out of mind, not hiding, just trying to be out of sight out of mind.
Every other day I do an hour or so of cycling to try and stay in shape. But other than that I am pretty well sequestered and doing a tremendous amount of study, and reflection, and study, and attempting to gain recall of the bulk of the thousand teachings that Jesus gave us about how to be in this world. I totally don't have the skills to do this. Right now I'm just using brute force, maybe some techniques will develop but I'm not counting on it.
Inarguably anyone that lived his way would live sustainably in this world. Anyone that does live his way can have the joy and peace that comes from knowing that they're doing their part. And that they're manifesting the paradigm that maybe someone else could see and do the same. And it's very demanding, because it requires living in front of the creator, the highest potentialities within personified. And that increases the intensity and velocity of one's life and living, which is exhausting and hard and even frightening, but it also gives more life, and a sense of peace that probably can come no other way.
I expect to be in this area for another month hoping to move from novice to intermediate level competence and then to resume my traveling ministry bringing that greater competence with me.
A dental checkup several weeks ago yielded treatment recommendations of about $5,000. I quickly scheduled appointments before I knew the cost and then just as quickly canceled them. The treatment plan was suggested to me by the dentist who said he didn't know how much it would cost but after we met I could meet with his receptionist and she would tell me which meant that I could not tell him, that's not something I can afford, is there anything I can? I've asked the receptionist if she could have that conversation with him and maybe I'll find out later this week. Last several years I've been doing quite a good job of taking care of my teeth having lost so many. But one of them a major filling is gone, the dentist recommends a crown which probably is correct, and I'd like to at least get that done. We'll see.
12.21.2022
My dear Jesus letter . I've begun a letter and I hope to share it with you by christmas. At least a draft.
Dear Jesus, thank you for being born. This letter to you is not what you would think, all the mumbo-jumbo means nothing but blasphemous distraction to me.....
12.15.2022
12.11.2022
12.10.2022
It is occurring to me that what the gospels, what Jesus life was all about, was reestablishing one big Universal Family on earth. Reconnecting everyone into that working, serving Family. All under one Almighty parent. That this was his work and that he suggested if we wanted to be joyful, that it be the life work of each of us. That it is what we were created to do. My yoke is light.
12.08.2022
12.07.2022
Is Jesus the son of god? That is so the wrong question. Is he the greatest embodiment of the Almighty? And thereby our best best path to Eternal Joy experienced by living so aligned, in this life? 71 years of work of clawing our sick culture out of my field of vision, I'm finally beginning to see it. And as a Sculptor begins revealing what she sees, so I'm attempting to do first for my eyes and possibly for others then with this new site. Jesian.Org for a variety of reasons, Almighty willing, it will be completed within the next couple of weeks, but not until then.
11.27.2022
11.26.2022
It is finished
The Gospel of Mark
John did baptize in the wilderness, and preach the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins. After confessing their sins many from the land of Judaea and from Jerusalem were baptized by him in the river of Jordan.
I have baptized you with water but He shall baptize you with the Holy Spirit.
The spirit drove Him into the wilderness.
The kingdom of God
Update: Medical, Freeeezing, Soul, Sol...
Incredibly good health. Using what I've been given seems to keep it in working order.
Becoming quite concerned regarding the hernia in my lower left groin. First manifesting itself three or four weeks ago it is at least a weekly occurrence despite exercises I'm doing. Remaining discreetly in this Lone Pine area that I like so very much, lone pine, among many other things the medical system is very helpful here. Dr Weiss at the local clinic, she is top drawer, and she's referring me to a surgical team in Bishop, the larger town about 35 mi north of here and a consultation I expect to take place within the next month. Surgery if it could be arranged would knock me out for as long as 3 weeks which is an idea that I loathe, but the onset is so regular that I am thinking that I should bite the bullet if it is offered.
11.23.2022
For the first time in my life I'm not working alone.
This headline may be a bit dramatic but I'm not sure that it is. It may come down to this, out of responsibility I perceive that I cannot defer my decisions to anyone else. Nor can I afford to not seek out and listen to the best input I can receive. And that's been my process throughout adulthood. Sadly I've found throughout my adulthood that there are not one in a million whose input is thoughtful and deep enough to be of much use but there is that and I work hard to tap it.
But whereas responsibility, joyful responsibility, prevents me from deferring my decisions to anyone else, it does not defer me from deferring it to me. A part of me. A place in my imagination that has unfolded in the last couple of days. Now for the last 20 years there's been some level of deferral to my soul.
BBut what's happening these recent days, just glimmers of it so far, is a deferral to a character Within Me, a function of my imagination, a loving adoring creator of us all that can be amused, delighted, filled with joy, delighted at our pitiful attempts to do good in the world. Again, just glimpses, but I feel I can look to that individual, I can look to their reaction, I can inquire though no words come back and nor do I expect they ever will.
AA very loose reference, I think of Clarence in, it's a wonderful life, and how he would turn to his guardian angel in conversation.
TThere are not the slightest psychotic features to this, so far anyway, and I don't think there will be. It is clearly a way of using my imagination but it's greatly clarifying, greatly enjoyable, and freeing because it frees me up from crippling Earthly concerns of being right, being effective, though I care about that. It frees me up to be a fool, floundering in impossible situations trying to figure out how to do good in the world when so few people are trying or have ever tried to do so, so almost no examples to follow. A whole lot of pioneering. And if there are not a ton of failures along the way, not trying hard or fast enough.
II hope this mode for me increases, intensifies, get stronger and more useful. It might evaporate quickly. But it's too interesting not to share.
OOver the last 22 years I certainly had devices similar to this where in my imagination I would look to a small panel of people including the likes of jesus, gandhi, confucius.. and that was very useful, maybe a stepping stone to where I am now. But there was not the freeing from crippling heaviness that I'm finding with this bemused loving creator that can be delighted with my ridiculous attempts. And more than any device I've found so far I think it is and can be freeing of me from what residual of needing to meet the expectations of others, and there are so few able others, that's a crippling that we can't afford of me.
And this is really helping me do something that is very deep in me but very hard to do with flesh and blood individuals, to seek to Delight. For one brief juncture I was able to lead a large organization of very sophisticated software developers and Consultants towards a single goal of the delighting clients. It was enormously unleashing of potential and energy in me and most or all associates. But that's very hard to do in the real world. And with what I've described above I'm seeing glimmers of having a partner that I can look to Delight though not in the way I did in that earlier organization, the nature of the delight here is just a joyful but somehow encouraging and affirming laughter at my ridiculous attempts, but that's very useful as a North star. So far anyway.
AAnd if I look over and Creator isn't lovingly laughing at me, I'm doing it wrong, I'm not trying hard enough, I'm being too conservative, I'm being too careful to do it right, too slow in this world full of emergency. It's really helpful.
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