The tiniest remotely possible cultivation of soul is our only work for joy.

 It seems that every year is trying to teach me this and I learned a little bit more each time with my failure to do otherwise, but my goodness it's slow.

My current dashboard to help me develop myself and maintain focus in the work.

The Myriad pitfalls in finding, establishing, true community.

* Ignoring dead balls, silence where the passionate recognition response needs to be.
* Confusing intellect excitement for soul excitement.
* Ignoring passionate action for words, our passions are seen in actions not words.
* Overlooking history of action.
* Thinking material change would release soul.
* Imagining that personal, ego interests, are finite as opposed to infinite.

* Oblivious to the absence of dying for true Community, dying for the world.

* Projection, projection, projection.... Projecting one's values on to the other clouding the truth.

* Passion for the external, the material, not the internal. Looking for answers accordingly. Building accordingly.

* Absence of, resistance to, Global all inclusive mission.

* Non deep envy of lsgiabeing.com

* Dying for Joy.

* Attachment to this world, or any of its contents.

The most important book James has ever read oh, maybe the most important book ever written.

 

36000 miles James has been cycling an impossible vehicle.

 No discredit to Saul and maybe notice credit to James.

Imagine a conventional racing bicycle two wheels and everything is normal except for one thing. Instead of the seat being on a rigid bracket with no movement instead it is on a relatively fluid ball joint such that unless at every moment of the cycle the body's muscles are used to create what they fixed seat was able to create by way of stability oh, well, that's where James has been. But his wounded left leg forced him to find something different and no credit to him he found it today

Some time ago maybe Colorado or into Utah the notion of the pretty mm fighting such a planted position that it seemed that it was on a bicycle seat was helpful but not sufficiently helpful and after

Martin Luther King jr. On nonviolence.

Pilgrimage to Nonviolence - Peace,
https://www.mkgandhi.org/articles/pilgrimageNV.htm

Our society views physical abuse as a crime much more readily then psychological abuse. For James it's the reverse.

At least that's how my nervous system has always worked. I can take pain physically much more readily than I can take psychological pain.

I can think of so many times but at the moment an event in front of the White House, there was a recognized member of the activist Club, my disrespectful name for the Cadre, late at night, standing 6 in away from a secret service agent on duty, berating, screaming at this individual in their face.

I have a zero tolerance for abuse, of me, and more importantly of anyone else. 

10 years ago, Within moments I was across the wide Street putting myself in between the secret service agent and facing

James preliminary Vision (WkInProg): Joy is at the convergence of these things, for the individual, for the community. Nowhere else to be found.

This document is a preliminary distillation, a 15% complete outline, of what James has applied throughout his adulthood in every community building Venture he's been involved in, and in building himself as best he can, to help others do the same. For the joy of it.

It is crazy. It is insane. James understands it to be exactly equivalent to what the lives of the individuals here speak of themselves, Lsgiabeing.com, and what some have spoken explicitly, like the man Jesus, if you would hold on to your life, you will lose it, if you would lose it for the sake of the neediest among you, you will gain it... Heaven... Joy.

If and when James fleshes this out in more detail there may be half a

What Jesus actually said, according to the scholars.

Thousands of hours it took James over the course of years to distill out this list of the roughly 200 or 250 sayings that Jesus probably spoke according to the world's greatest Scholars on the subject, particularly the Jesus seminar. Tedious work, nothing clever here. The simply pulling out of various books, especially the five gospels by the Jesus seminar, the sayings that he probably said. Roughly a third of all of the sayings were not likely said by Jesus but are c

onsistent with him suggesting that there were followers that sort of understood what he had to say. And the remaining third are by those that either through malice or foolishness attributed to him things that he never said and never would have said, quite the opposite.

Supreme Joy of building people, Souls, Beyond everything else. Not to be confused with building head and flesh. Community of Souls.

25 or so years of my adulthood was indulging my lust for building stuff, I I thought recently of those dozens of plants in my apartment, I didn't recall until now of the aquarium, LOL, software systems, hardware systems, algorithms, acoustic devices, businesses, Networks, new products... that was 50% of my time, the other 50% was building people and communities. They were created simultaneously. Communities of people. 

I know

Update, day number 16 in the household

This is day number 16 inside the household that James and Sol traveled 1100 miles, 33 days through the early winter cold, to arrive at to see if they could be of some help. Why? James some bleeding heart. Help anybody? If he ever was, he's not now. Triage. He sees barely a soul with enough life to be helped. It's horrible, it's tragedy, but that's how he sees it. But the parent in this household, incredibly wounded he thinks from lifelong series of abusers, and some self-inflicted wounds, is

The enviable folks, to me, their quality of life depends on nothing external.

 

I don't remember the following ever so crystallizing in my mind though in a hazier form it has been there. By way of Preamble, I suppose I have always thought, and maybe I heard it from my parents, probably my dad, and I think it's a platitude in society, if your house burns down but you're all safe you've lost little or nothing. In some form that Doctrine has always been in my mind, and my soul. But only sometime today did it come clear to me, and I might be wrong, but it came clear to me that all of the people I admire oh, and more importantly all those that I envied throughout history, that was clearly correct to my eyes. Oh, I'm Sophie Scholls, a teenager that was fighting the Nazi Uprising. You're going to kill me? Okay. It's a shame it's a nice day but it's time to go I guess, in the moments before her execution. And so it is with all of them. Do anything to their material environment and it does nothing to their quality of life. LSGIABeing.com 

Parenting: do I have the right to deny my child life, in favor of survival?

With my biological Offspring so many decades ago, the best I knew was to try and provide both, and there was much limitation in my circumstances, and I chose to have it constrain what I otherwise might have done. I tried to do both, offer them life, and survival in The Wider culture.

But James has not selected that as the optimal course for himself. Quite radically no. He has chosen to devote almost

Parenting. Is it right to devote so much to ones dependents?

Ever since the birth of my first biological I struggled with oh, well, the double standards idea. James, if it's right for your biological, why isn't it right for everyone? And the issue of devoting all my time to my Biologicals and not to others. I've made progress toward that over the years, but with significant progress last night or this morning. Something that had not clicked together in trying to see this whole picture. James, in at least Western culture, with your biological, of course you have a responsibility, and there's proximity, but there's something else that James just caught a glimpse of these last 12 hours or so. There is a legal right, a permission, by the culture, to intervene in the life of another if it is legally your child, that is not allowed in any other relationship. Room for creativity and contribution that is artificially inhibited, limited, prevented by our culture in every other relationship. Ants are much more extreme opportunity to influence another Soul than is available in any other relationship.

James evolving instrument panel these recent weeks

When he enters a new situation, a new manifestation of his mission, to raise protect energized and Power encourage the human soul, throughout his adulthood, he's learned to create devices like this to help him create build strengthen new muscle memory. It evolves and changes and it helps a whole lot. 0 is awful, negative, and 10 is satisfactory. Everything less than 10 needs Improvement.

Did you ever see the movie As Good As It Gets, I think it was called. Helen Hunt, Jack Nicholson? This unbelievably courageous parent make me want to be a better friend, a better grandfather, uncle, brother, Community member.

The most recent seven or eight posts on this blog are all about this new manifestation, this sacred joyful new form of James lifelong mission.

Quarantine ends today at 3. Parent will let me in I think, against all better judgement.

(I pray) 

Well, I've come too close to killing us both, me in the cold and travels, this heroic parent with unbelievable courage and stamina, with all my online incessant inquiries and chatter , in hindsight, draining hours per day of time that wasn't there to give.

I knew how much demands of time I was making, though not demanding it of course. But allowing it and being the instigator. I knew it, I often commented on it. But 1 person that didn't seem to really grasp it, was James. With all the right intentions, being as prepared as possible, using his time as well as possible while he was traveling for informed study, that's what he was trying to do. 

But at what cost? So James is traveling for a month 1100 miles, and then in a freezing

Standing Rock 4 years ago

 

(Video should work now) From the garage, video log update on the quarantine.

the text below the video is really the most important thing here, and the photo there, the spreadsheet dashboard photo

Also, click on the vid photo, it will take you to the original video in Google photos, and then click on what comes up and it should play.
 

 

Omitted in the video is what this is all about  from James standpoint. In the last several years James has come to understand this family situation quite well in overview, and against impossible odds, impossible odds, totally outnumbered, this parent has kept the children alive through thick and thin including the virus to which they are mortally susceptible, and has a decent life for them, but it's insanely unacceptably precarious, and the outlook for all three is really not that bright honestly. And it could be. And James life limb and treasure is totally devoted until he becomes unwelcome or determines he can't help turn the outlook for each and every one of the three to something substantially improved. And for that to happen the next month at least is James learning how to pitch in and offload this

A constructive use for this holiday?

My friend asked about my jaw, my current mission....

I find it incredible blessing to have this potential opportunity to help this little family, and maybe a larger Community too. It seems an extraordinary fit to me on many levels but I don't know if it'll last till this evening or till the rest of my days. I take it one hour at a time. Hopefully I'll not lose track of that. My bags are packed

Neurotypicals or neurotoxics? Part of a brief dialogue with the parent on Whose property I'm quarantining.

 

J. This was rolling around in my mind this morning....I'm wondering to what degree there is a tendency among autistics toward some combination of the following. They actually refuse to not understand the real, concrete, world. They have to figure it out for themselves. Or how do they know it's real? They have to feel it and touch it in their own terms. Do they live the question 'why' more than the mass population? Are they Rebels in a healthy sense, they'll do something because they understand it's true, not because someone said so? I think this has very much been, and remains, my world. I have to be on the Spectrum

Log. The two-week quarantine is approaching the halfway mark.

The two-week quarantine is approaching the halfway point approximately. Here in the garage. My choice. The safest place and it's fine with me. Hey, I Did Standing Rock North Dakota from Thanksgiving through mid-February and the arrest.

More sleep has been required than I would have hoped, I think as a result of both

Brief dialogue with a good Soul this morning. The only task before us...

It seems to me that I know very very few serious Souls. One that I know, on their website, posted a very moving video, set to the poem of a very moving poet that I was very fond of in my youth. 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=4156629554363925&id=1186867151340195

Written 70 years ago or so I'll guess about how it isn't too late, there is time, for us to reshape our relationship to Mother Nature before she exterminates us. With hesitation I put put some countrary comment warmly inviting the individual to remove the comments because they were so opposed to the sentiment. But I felt I owed it to

James is here. Two-week quarantine. Update log.

So up until 1100 miles ago, 35 days, the plan was that when the 16 months, nearly 13,000 mile, mission to travel through most of the Devided States was completed, Kansas was number 45, absolutely to head down to warm weather to rest, recuperate, replan, refigure... the wonderful decision was made, not so much, we're going to go to Central Michigan and help that friend, or at least try to, to raise those two wonderful special needs children.

That arrival was almost three or four da

One chapter ends, another begins.

 

Who knew? Cycling is something best done by the thighs

 https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=1xMpdxE7z70Rm1V2GJ8QDJUxMByBt0od

Voice logs today and yesterday.

E-bike 24 hours a day in the cold.

 Roughly one week's worth of experience this now and fairly encouraging.

About 3000 watts of electrical energy are being applied each day. Roughly 1,000 Watts from the short solar days low on the horizon, which means 2000 Watts out of and through the batteries.

The batteries are in a soft sided thermal cooler of decent quality. 8 days worth of cycling has them at about 80° in this sealed soft-sided cooler. That surprised me. But there it is. A red cooler.

Last evening at 9 it was 36 degrees outside, quickly dropping 230 and below all night. This morning inside that cooler it was 40°. Safe for the batteries. Had I flipped on the $30 Walmart heating pad that snake through the batteries probably it would have been 60 degrees not 40 degrees inside this morning. Had I flipped it on for only a couple of hours. Or, had I filled the two hot water bottles with very hot water it would have been probably 70°.

Also, Oh my goodness a 15 or 20 mile-an-hour Tailwind reduces energy requirement by 50% and a headwind increases it by 50%.

James, instead of fighting for Humanity you're fighting for just two or three? You f****** hypocrite.

 

Much of the last two decades James has been scathing of those sitting on the sidelines instead of attempting to rescue humanity and decency. Scathing. Incendiary. And now in the final moments when the world's greatest criminal could be removed from office James has nothing to do with it and is racing to attempt to help one heroic soul in the work of raising to needy children. F****** hypocrite.

Except as for the last year or so James has admitted that his entire life he was wrong, the human species be on small tribes of 10,000 years ago was never able to be anything other than a cancer. This is history, and it is honest evaluation. Large groups cannot create the cultures that would create the majority of moral decent Humane people.

If I can make it through the pain.

30 years ago my Elite dentist said, James, you could be a case study at the University classes that I teach on Dentistry. I've never seen anyone that does such grinding.

And over recent years I've lost some of those teeth so now all that pressure is distributed over less area, concentrated on fewer teeth.

And my night grinding is now all concentrated, all of that Force, on a tooth in the lower left and it is being pressed down into the jaw deeply terribly bruising the tissue and causing new bone to try and form. It's extremely painful.

Everything I've tried so far is failing. Two different night guards are now performed today and will be tried tonight but I'm not optimistic. I think it would require a carefully formed professionally done mouth guard to transfer some of the pressure to the gaps between my teeth and that requires being in one spot while the work gets done at a lab. And the earliest that would be possible would be Lansing about ten days or 15 days away.

I'm taking as little ibuprofen as possible, a third of what I would like, but well over what safe dosage probably calls for.

Autism, the reason I jump.

 

It is long since I've been so deeply moved, and that by only the introduction. Overwhelming.

https://archive.org/details/isbn_9780812994865/page/n23/mode/1up

A confession. Substance abuse, high-stress, fatigue, mouth pain, meditation.

 

A personal reflection really, but confession is more likely to get your attention.
For the last two or three months probably, after a long long long hard day in the last hour or so I have been having anywhere between three and five beers. I work online while I consume them and I experience them as a way to slow down and unwind. Not Recreation.
Now that cold weather has forced me to stay in one place for the first one of 4 days, my body is physically shutting down, paralyzed with fatigue. This is a cycle that I should know and recognize but it disguises itself from me mercifully until I have the opportunity to stop and slow down.

For the last month on and off I have severe mouth pain and I think finally last night it came clear as it did once before that it is a matter of extreme grinding at night on a mouthguard what is bruising the jaw on my lower left side, severely.
What's the connection of all this? I'm thinking that the substance, the beer, enabled me to unconstructive Lee deal with the huge stress that I put myself under but not as constructively as maybe meditation could do. And I intend to begin seriously experimenting with that starting now.
So beginning two nights ago I have dispensed with the beer and beginning today I will attempt to reinstitute and redevelop my meditation skills at least several times a day and I wonder if that might help a little bit with reducing my nighttime grinding.

Have I been hugely self abusing and the alcohol has helped me do that? I think so.