James dark struggle continues.

I mean, this is his work, pioneering joy in the midst of existential hell. This is what current and future generations need from James, and from us all.
Preview, it's hard. James has much to learn. Much expertise and Mastery yet to develop.

A killer cycling day, excellent, alarming.

Exhaustion tonight precludes any careful editing of the following.

60 miles, the energy equivalent of more like a hundred miles for a person on a conventional bicycle.
As effective and efficient a day as James and Saul have ever had.

Probably more on this tomorrow but too i mportant not to mention now, the James is

This may be the next six or seven days.

Three dimensions of human Good and Evil. From some of the earliest posts on this blog.

No credit to James among his most inspired work. Scroll down halfway on this link and you'll begin to see more of this sort of graphic and better explanations. And older posts still.

https://www.startloving.org/search?updated-max=2007-09-19T15:18:00-05:00&max-results=30&start=60&by-date=false&m=1

Wealth of joy is inversely proportional to wealth of stuff. Quite a ways to go has James. But now that he sees this....

Doing good, to protect the little notion of it left, is all that makes sense anymore.

Tornado watch

Long hard ride tomorrow. The weather should help.

If the plan holds state number 20 on Tuesday, Louisiana.

Regarding James Darkness just reported. James, your being is contagious, embrace that period it may save you.

Most of James adulthood in industry was in leadership roles and he quickly was taught by this that his Spirit was everything. The spirit that he maintained was contagious

In the grip of the great dying, the great Exterminating, finding enough joy to go on serving.

 It's approaching 1:00 in the morning. James can't sleep. Is in a very very very dark place Arriving here After increasingly dark days. 

Maybe it is a sickness, a clinical depression, a mlody that shouldn't be there in James. 

James suspects it's the opposit. He suspects it is because he is holding on to substantial mental health That he experiences this incredible darkness. 

It is the reality, no? It is the truth, no? We are in the midst of the great dying. All goodness is dying on a global catastrophic scale. No? 

Yes. By every objective measure. 

What does James do? Not as a plan a or B or C but

On track for 22 by mid-December then holding for about six weeks in Florida.

With the Agents of good tortured and killed, identifying closely with them help me in my darkest moments.

Objective can James be in what level of risk I live? Maybe not, maybe so.
Last night was a tough night. Probably no risk, violent loud music over and over and

A glorious F-bomb pre-holiday encounter. Video log. Blog.

Do you want a Thanksgiving dinner? Video log

No one is, or ever has been, perfectly good. Some have been or become Virtually perfect in the attempt to be goodness, for joy.

I have a confession. I Judge people by the content of their character, starting with James. As every good sibling must.

Part 3. James shock at how few people in the world he is grateful for thankful for.

James is grateful he finds, thankful, for those one in a million people now and throughout history that he understands as living entirely to make the world a place that is more good. James is grateful he finds, thankful, for those one in a million people now and throughout history that he understands as living entirely to make the world a place that is more good. Explicitly or by accident they may

What I read someone has died painlessly I often feel a bit of envy. The joy of trying to Channel A tiny little bit of good in the world keeps me going, but goodness I'm tired and the pain is awful.

Dozens of posts remain to be transcribed and either posted or discarded. Long day of travel tomorrow, moderate the next day, and then a day with little travel with all day rain.

***** James holy Grail of cycling? Could be.

 On the Perineum, within an inch, roiling rolling boiler immediately and always and only. 

A hard narrow disciplined taskmaster and superior to everything else found. 

And similar to many of the best times yet experienced. 

 Item. Roiling rolling boiler only exists, only, only

Part two. James shock at how few people and things James is thankful for. A bit of clarification.

Note. What James is reporting here is not what he thought he would find, not what he necessarily prefers in his mind. But what he found and he is not dissatisfied with what he found. Upon asking him self the question, James, what are you thankful for that would disappear from the past or present if you did not bring thanks for this  to consciousness? 

As expressed yesterday James was shocked to find how few things and people. Is this some of it a matter of mood? He doesn't think so but he is concerned and will continue to look at that. 

 Shocked he was and is and disturbed at how few people ever in his life he is thankful for. Many acts of periodic kindness from many individuals he is thankful for that he has received directly and just as grateful or a more For acts of kindness he has witnessed from People toward others, though they be people that he is not grateful for being in his life. 

 And things, let's say a donation that someone made or might make in the future to James work, rare, but it has happens.   His immediate inclination to be grateful for that his soul said no. That is stuff. And James immediately recognize that the soul was correct. Goodness in the world is what James is grateful for. That is the common theme that he finds within himself. What is beyond his control or anyone else's, No, got to be thankful for  acknowledg? That's fine. Briefly enjoyed? That's fine. But thankful for? No. 

James shock, continued. And some substantial amount of this what seems to James as self discipline, though not uncomfortable. But surprising. Difficult but joyful sense of duty. James, how can you be so selfish as to allow yourself to be grateful for individuals in your life That on occasion do really nice things? How can you encourage that behavior? How can you be so selfish as to send, to continue to send, such confusing signals? To indulge your desire to be thankful for individuals When in fact the vast majority of their behavior Is self serving despite how it might seem otherwise to them and you James. Not of their soul in charge, but seeking pleasure even if Mutual of head and flesy. Therefore you encourage them to continue to starve themselves for real joy. How can you do that James? And it seems that maybe he Is becoming good enough that he can't regardless of what personal price he might pay for that. 

How to live a radically more good life for the joy of it? What I owe every future creature. What you owe every future creature.

The nature of the effort I continue to pursue with pretty much every waking breath. Doing as much good as I know how to attempt for the joy of it. But the particulars of it, including and maybe especially extracting from all the harmful harm from participating in the cancer that is our economic way of life he has infinitely more to learn and do. And the few  he has from time to time to contemplate what he does if he survives this current 48 states Mission attempt, this is what comes to mind.

The Silver Bullet? Roiling rolling boiler 1 inch at the perineum.

Three or four weeks ago discovery of the perineum as the center of operations produced days of Miracle performance, seeming miracle. And then it was lost.
Embracing the inevitability of lack of control, chaos, boiler, seems to have been Central to its recovery. When the counter-cyclical Rolling roiling boiler ideas brought to mind the prevailing inclination is to try and think it into existence and that typically begins as far out as the midpoint or Beyond at the thighs. And usually that only succeed in long and sometimes very prolonged establishment of true roiling boiler. In today's short Voyage what seems far more promising was looking on the perineum and with no more than one inch of the perineum to immediately feel the counter-cyclical roiling rolling boiler. Very promising.

The will to feal significant is virtually inescapable. And if violence, guns, loud engines, vile hate speech and actions, destruction of that which is good, are the only way known....

Nearly ever-present is the horrible hateful violent Muffler unrestricted ear blasting noise of pickup trucks awesome directed directly at this vehicle. And or the horrible so-called music lasted so anyone within a quarter of a mile will have it inflicted on them. But in a society where there are almost no constructive ways for people, four people, young people, to have any sense of personal power, control over their environment, participation, these destructive ways are inevitable. So it's like Jesus and Confucius tried to tell us a thousands of years ago, create really really really good people which means create really really healthy environment, or there will be hell to pay.

I was shocked at how few things and people I'm thankful for.

As a matter of personal responsibility I found it necessary this time of year to inquire of myself what and who I'm thankful for. In a way it may be the first time I've done this. Or maybe the first time I've done this with what I think I've learned in life.
It was shocking and a bit alarming the few

Day of rest Sheltering from the rain, holiday traffic. Another short day planned for tomorrow.

No short-term plans do I have. Last night I began contemplating Methods of suicide. Vs years in right wing fascist torture cells.

The facade of gentility.

Ma'am, pleasure and happiness don't do it for me anymore. They never did but I didn't understand.

Several days ago on a low traffic highway, wide shoulders, Very cold and rainy. James very wet, ahead of him pulled a brightly and attractively  Decorated small car. Reasonably current. And respectfully but annoyingly stopped 30 yd ahead of saul on an slight uphill grade. Yes, the usual reaction by James was annoyance. But quickly it fled. James pulled ahead of the vehicle probably concerning the individual who stopped that he was going to go by. Rather he just thought it bad process to allow slow saul to get stopped behind another vehicle. Potential danger. James stopped the vehicle and after a 15 seconds of shuffling around on the dashboard out stepped a Mid thirties female.

We had the most Pleasant Exchange. I don't know why I stopped you, she said. I don't know why I'm doing this mission, James replied. I don't know why I'm doing what I'm doing, James replied with an honest smile. This is how it is when we have the soul in charge.

 I'm cold, I'm wet, I'm very tired, I'm frightened, but I just can't sit and watch while americae destroys children whose skin is not white like mine and eyes are not blue like mine because they're desperate for safety from the countries of theirs that we have destroyed. 

 Her body language indicated profound empathy. It is escaping James at the moment from this encounter of several days ago what prompted him to reflect in reply, Joy is what I do this for. Happiness, pleasure, warmth, safety, are in the other direction. Many decades I tried it. It doesn't do it for me. It never did. But the courage of my convictions I did not have until about 20 years ago and have ever since for the joy of it. If the best I can do is try and awaken one other soul in whatever days I'm given Then that's what I'll do, for the joy that making the attempt to gives me, each breath. You have stirred mine, she replied obviously meaning it and very glad of it.

A backlog of roughly 35 posts that have yet to be transcribed and uploaded.