To my activist sister: I detest affording myself the luxury of false optimism or false pessimism. And if......

To my activist sister: I detest affording myself the luxury of false optimism or false pessimism. And if the truth is hopeless, then that's what I face. But often that pushes me to one final place, that whereas I live to try and save all of creation, yes, by fighting the good fight, Maybe someone in the future will be helped to fight the good and joyful fight. As I wrote earlier today, that's really the only Heaven that is available to us I'm sure. And I'm okay with that. Yes, it's hell at the same time, but that's okay too.

To my activist sister who is the real deal, who inquired about my expectation of resuming my cross-country heart massage Ministry: I've had.....

To my activist sister who is the real deal, who inquired about my expectation of resuming my cross-country heart massage Ministry: I've had this idea many times before but it's really gripping me again today. The idea of heart massage,  that is my work. I don't know about you, but I suspect it's not much different. When two people first encounter each other there sometimes is an openness, soul to soul. But doesn't that dry up really fast? Within minutes, within hours? The conversation may go on for years but it has moved away from the heart, away from the soul, into the head and flesh. I find absolutely no hope in the head and the flesh. They're easy. But without the heart engaged? Without love it is nothing.

Most people find soul to soul conversations undesirable. I find everything but extremely painful. Always have.

Most people find soul to soul conversations undesirable. I find everything but extremely painful. Always have.

Though I think we are all four sad about it, it remains the case that there is room on the Oceti construction crew now, for people who are good at Construction, but not for.....

Though I think we are all four sad about it, it remains the case that there is room on the Oceti construction crew now, for people who are good at Construction, but not for those who are not, or even for willing trainees.  This may change in a month or two if they find and begin construction on location. Then maybe they would be able to use, to take advantage of, unskilled laborers like me. So we either decide for me to be a millstone around their neck, though almost no one acts like I am, and I continue to let what skills I have go to waste, or I resume my missionary work across the country, massaging what Hearts I can along the way on my vehicle. I had really hoped that the crew would be traveling in the direction of Lansing Michigan where there is a friend who is able and interested in rebuilding my vehicle and constructing a next-generation trailer. But probably that is no longer the case. One of my options is to repair the vehicle as best I can here and begin traveling in his Direction, an approximately One Thousand Mile Journey. Anyone have any clever ideas how I could get from northern Minnesota with my vehicle and trailer to Lansing Michigan more quickly than that, please let me know. LOL.

Jesus discovery made simple: Folks, you think that heaven is in the direction of selfish pleasure for me and mine. Yes, I know.......

Jesus discovery made simple: Folks, you think that heaven is in the direction of selfish pleasure for me and mine.  Yes, I know you don't call it this, but this is what you go after. This is what you devote your life to. This is your religion. But that's not how our psychology works. The infinite peace of heart, Joy, passion is in exactly the opposite direction, in solidarity serving the neediest from the soul. Yes, I know that for 2,000 years you have been unwilling to see this. You are pretty much out of time now.  Like I showed you, if you would hold on to your life, you shall lose it. If you would lose your life for the sake of your neediest on Earth, you will gain it.

The solution is realizing that everyone is our family. Everyone. No exceptions, at any time.

The solution is realizing that everyone is our family. Everyone.
No exceptions,
at any time.

My business is heart massage. I'd Lost clarity on that for a while.

My business is
heart massage.
I'd Lost clarity
on that for a while.

Why do intentional communities fail? It is clear to me, and I'll guess no one will see it as I do. But......

Why do intentional communities fail?  It is clear to me, and I'll guess no one will see it as I do.  But I see it through a life of studying, and practicing in this domain.  They fail because they have never pursued the absurd notion that the purpose of community is not to serve the members, but rather, out of burning love, empathy, compassion... solidarity, the  purpose of the community is to serve and save the world, starting with the neediest (Blue line). They always pursue a combination of work and fun / Pleasure (green line), missing that Joy is the fruit of Loving,  and Joy to those few who know it, absolutely trumps fun/pleasure, every breath. Joy/Meaning, is the only infinite motivator. I'm doing my own next level pondering and reflection on this. This probably unintelligible graph is reflective of some of the pondering I'm doing:

"James, you are the greatest skier, technically, I have ever seen," said a lifelong Utah Rockies resident, a fellow executive, to me in 1996. Possibly he meant it, possibly.....

"James, you are the greatest skier, technically, I have ever seen," said a lifelong Utah Rockies resident, a fellow executive, to me in 1996.  Possibly he meant it, possibly there was some objective truth to it.  "You are technically the greatest strategic, new, organization creator, leader, I have ever seen," has said no one, but I say it now. Lol.  Yes, I do.  I was and am unknown as a skier or such a leader.  And I have zero track record  the last 15 years in not for profit work to substantiate this.  But although unknown, in fact, my 25 years in industry was a string of small to medium, impossible successes, the turn-around or creation of groups that produced the impossible, with explosive joy, in impossibly short timeframes against impossible odds.  MLK Jr, and Gandhi were of the type.  My estimate is that were they alive today they would have no more success than I have in the not-for-profit realm.  I think the people of Soul, of Heart they were able to work with, such folks no longer exist in the toxic climate of 2017 earth.

My vision, mission, work, life, every breath: In Solidarity Serving the neediest from the Soul..., Loving.

My vision, mission, work, life, every breath:
In Solidarity
Serving the neediest
from the Soul..., Loving.

Trump's advantage, and the only advantage he needs, is the unwillingness of the Liberals to fully see the horror he is unleashing.

Trump's advantage, and the only advantage he needs, is the unwillingness of the Liberals to fully see the horror he is unleashing.

No one wants to be the revolution (pic below): Oh how I wish the solution was law, policy, architecture, renewable energy, protest, protecting, resistance, camps, meetings, decolinization, the Lakota way, the Christian religion.... Those are so easily......

No one wants to be the revolution (pic below):

Oh how I wish the solution was law, policy, architecture, renewable energy, protest, protecting, resistance, camps, meetings, decolinization, the Lakota way, the organized religion, party,  a leader, democracy, socialism, Sanders.... Those are so easily doable, so fun.

But they have never been the answer. They will never be the answer, though they would in many cases be ubiquitous if we ever seriously pursued the answer. We can't get there from there. We can't avoid getting there from where the answer is, the religiously loving, by whatever name or no name at all, practiced with every breath by the large masses of human beings.

We will work to change anything and everything so that there is a future for our children, everything, except the only thing that can save them... changing ourselves, Being the Revolution. To be the change the world needs to see, as Gandhi rightly said.  No one will even seriously consider being the revolution. So sad. Except when I rarely get distracted, I can't think of anything else, I can't try to do anything else. It is what I will try and do. It is the only thing of hope that any of us can try and do. We will try anything and everything else until  there is no time, no hope, left. Oh well. Kathy Green: " They say that change is like heaven, a beautiful idea, but no one wants to go first."

No one wants to be the revolution (pic below): Oh how I wish the solution was law, policy, architecture, renewable energy, protest, protecting, resistance, camps, meetings, decolinization, the Lakota way, the Christian religion.... Those are so easily.....

No one wants to be the revolution (pic below): Oh how I wish the solution was law, policy, architecture, renewable energy, protest, protecting, resistance, camps, meetings, decolinization, the Lakota way, the Christian religion.... Those are so easily doable, so fun. But they have never been the answer. They will never be the answer, though they would be ubiquitous if we ever seriously pursued the answer. We can't get there from there. We can't avoid getting there from where the answer is, the religion of loving by whatever name or no name at all, practiced with every breath by the large masses of human beings. We will change anything and everything So that there is a future for our children, everything, except the only thing that can save them... Changing ourselves, Being the Revolution. To be the change the world needs to see, as Gandhi rightly said. We will change everything but ourselves, the only thing that could give creation a future.  No one will even seriously consider being the revolution. So sad. Except when I rarely get distracted, I can't think of anything else, I can try to do anything else. Oh well.

Recapturing Lovely......

Recapturing Lovely.

Is there only one notion of lovey, of beautiful?

The old tale, Emperor and the Nightingale, address is this question. The story is as old as time, no?

Unless we have been insanely pursuing a mistaken notion of lovely, beautiful, where is the Hope?

But if we have been insanely pursuing a wrong notion of beauty, of lovely, then there is profound hope.

Standing Rock, the camp established to protect the Waters of the Missouri River, was aesthetically, visually, beautiful in the fall. During the winter months it was visually and physically quite materially ugly, hellish even. Inches of mud. Below zero nights and days. Ice everywhere, everywhere, everywhere... perfectly suited to breaking bones and skulls. Muddy dark army tents for meals. The world's largest police state glaring over us every moment with snipers on Hills, helicopters, planes, with folks relishing the idea of killing us.

But now a month after the camps are shut down by the police state, there is a regular stream of posts from those who are expressing their longing for being back at the camp. They are profoundly distressed at being back in what civilization prefers: safety, ease, Comfort, opulence, leisure.

What's going on?

Standing Rock was nearly everything that our society considers ugly. But to many who were there, far from all, but to many, it was and is beautiful, the epitome of lovely.

Whether or not we can put words to it, there was Supreme beauty, supreme loveliness, at Standing Rock in at least two ways.

1. There was the Supreme beauty of the opportunity to radically serve our fellow humans, indeed, all of creation. That's why many of us were there. To try and serve by putting ourselves in the way of the total Destruction of everything as well as we knew how. Exquisitely lovely.

2. It was an exquisitely beautiful, lovely, way of life, really, the only way of life. Huh? Yes. In truth. Though almost none of us in society can see it, it was a way of life, a way of living, that starved that which is killing us, the corporate capitalist consumerist state of things. It is killing us. It will finish the job in months unless we in huge masses move to a way of living that starves it.

3. And it was the, objectively iffy, way of life lived by many of us there. Huh? Yes. Every form of healthy tissue in every organism is designed to feel ultimate reward by using every single second to serve the well-being of the larger Collective. I know of no objective science or thought that can understand it any other way. That is, except for the life-form cancer. Think about it.

Yes, there were many many many Slackers at Standing Rock. But those in whom you would see Joy from sunup to sundown in the midst of the hellish conditions, in those you would find that they thrived on ways of serving, mostly small, from Sun up until the time they went to bed. Cutting wood for others, shoveling snow for others, cooking meals for others, washing dishes and pots for others, deliberately being a source of spiritual kindness, and uplift, for others. Tending the fire real in the fire pit, and ultimately in the heart.  Among these people you could cut the joy with a knife. Few had experienced such Joy, such piece of heart, such loveliness, such beauty, ever before, or since.

Did those of us at Standing Rock do this perfectly? No. But with few if any exceptions we lived on the land, on our mother earth, in a way that even 7 or 10 billion people doing so could do so for eons. This as opposed to the way that we worship in our sick culture, which probably can't sustain even the Next Generation.

We all understand this in our heads, don't we?

But some of us at Standing Rock, whether or not we realized it, we understood it in our hearts, our souls. And we knew it as heaven. We saw, what to almost all eyes was material ugliness personified, but instead we saw ultimate Beauty. The beauty of a sustainable Earth forever.

Not to be critical or disparaging. Nearly all attempts at sustainability thus far has started with an assumption, we need to maintain our consumerist preferences but do so without destroying Earth. Inheriting this is a notion of beauty.

What is the ultimate Beauty is in a thermal Mass, Earth bearing structure, with virtually none of the trappings that we have been taught are essential in this culture, that can support people whose lives are made up of every breath serving their sisters and brothers out of love, that's their entertainment, that's their amusement? What is that Community, including the structures, were as Perpetual as the Earth and stone piled on top of them? What if even to build they cost maybe $3,000 per person? That is, extremely affordable.

What if? A different world is possible.

How was more rich, the emperor that first preferred the Nightingale in nature, or second, the emperor that had learned to prefer the mechanical Nightingale?

Who was more rich, the emotionally healthiest of our native sisters and brothers that lived on this land 5000 years ago comma living the beauty, the loveliness, of creation? Or is it those of us in this culture today, the most highly medicated culture that there has ever been comma with a lower reported quality of life than many if not most Nations on Earth, and way below the materially modest country this was even back in the 1950s?

Another world is possible. The world called for in Oceti Infinity Communities ( http://oceti-infinity-communities.weebly.com/) is the world of beauty. It is the natural Nightingale. It is the last and only hope. By this name, by this effort, or by some other. It is the only hope. There is no time left.

If Trump and his cast of monsters do not hate, revile, abhor, hold in contempt, all of us that are not in their criminally Rich tiny Circle, if they really don't, how else can their behavior be explained? I was.....

If Trump and his cast of monsters do not hate, revile, abhor, hold in contempt, all of us that are not in their criminally Rich tiny Circle, if they really don't, how else can their behavior be explained? I was born and raised among them. They view us the way most of us view a cockroach. If the cockroach is in a glass aquarium we find it amusing and may even have an affection for it, may well feed it even. If it gets close to us most of us feel loathing and if to close, we kill it, and feel hatred toward it.

Isn't our cultural view regarding work the start of all our problems? I'm sure that it is. We fail to distinguish between meaningful work and.....

Isn't our cultural view regarding work the start of all our problems? I'm sure that it is. We fail to distinguish between meaningful work and meaningless work. We live the mistaken idea that all work is meaningless. Meaningless work is drudgery. But every bit of healthy tissue in every form of life is designed exactly for an unending, every breath, existence of meaningful work and presumably it is designed to find that the optimal experience. Certainly my own experience is that being engaged in meaningful work, totally devoted myself to that, totally absorbed, is the Supreme Human Experience.

To this a kind soul wrote:  I don't know. Is meaningless work drudgery? Doing the dishes is drudgery and so is cleaning the toilet but it must be done. And to do it when no one pays you to is an act of love.

My reply:  I only do dishes, and I have done a massive amount of dishes including this morning, I only do dishes when I see it as a way to serve a larger important good. I have chosen to avoid doing any meaningless work, work that I cannot see how it helps others in an important way, I have avoided this at all costs for close to 15 years now. Meaningless work is what almost all of us do to make a living, instead of making life for ourselves and others.

A useful dividing line to determine sanity vs. Insanity is whether the individual, or the group, Strongly tends to rigidly bias toward their own view, their own.....

A useful dividing line to determine sanity vs. Insanity is whether the individual, or the group, Strongly tends to rigidly bias toward their own view, their own set of information, over the information and or views outside of themself. The great Alfred Adler referred to this in terms of private logic vs common sense, as I recall. Or maybe he said private logic vs public logic. An intrinsic preference for my Truth, versus the truth. An example that occurs to me is David Nash, depicted accurately I suspect in the movie, A Beautiful Mind. David was a brilliant professor at Princeton. He had an extremely active mind. Created understandings of the world which he found compelling. They led to him to view that his children and wife were mortal enemies and on the verge of acting on that view he thought of something new. Maybe just because the views in his mind were detailed and compelling, maybe they weren't correct. He spent the rest of his life acting on that later conception, that not everything in his mind was correct, and he tried very hard to understand the truth as opposed to his own truth. Much more importantly there are few on the left in this country, there are few on the right in this country , that are much interested in the truth available to us all. They are interested in the portion of the truth that their respective groups find comfortable and are opposed to understanding the more comprehensive truth that could embrace all parties.

We through corporate capitalism, are our own Jailer, our own destroyers. The Unimaginable, the......

We through corporate capitalism, are our own Jailer, our own destroyers.  The Unimaginable, the unthinkable, is the truth in 2017. The global elites always have viewed we masses as a blight, a plague, except when it is useful to exploit us. Global warming, corporate capitalist destruction of 'our' environment, is the 'Gestapo,' the "Death squads," they need not pay for, WE pay for, they profit from. We through corporate capitalism, are our own Jailer, our own destroyers.

CSCCS Update. My view: What the state did to us ( Joe Britt Jr., Val Armstrong, Eric Wallace-senft, James Mcginley ) before and during Standing Rock concluding with their arrest and savagery by the state February 23rd and since, we have had a lot of healing......

CSCCS Update. My view: What the state did to us ( Joe Britt Jr., Val Armstrong, Eric Wallace-senft, James Mcginley ) before and during Standing Rock concluding with their arrest and savagery by the state February 23rd and since, we have had a lot of healing to do, a lot of regrouping, rethinking, damaged control, rebuilding, recovery, collectively and individually.....

And we have had a lot of work to do, team-building, beginning to create a shared vision, evaluation of various land and team options although so far very preliminary.

It is my sense that a powerful shared Vision and team cohesion may be emerging.

Maybe much more in the next next several days but for now, it appears that his team of four that needs to grow rapidly with similarly committed, passionate, devoted Souls, this team of four is headed toward New England and upon arriving there will have evaluated maybe half a dozen or more alternative sites for their ability to best support creation of the First Community to begin when the weather is warm enough in May.

Much more funding is needed, to complete this trip, phase one, and to begin the construction, phrase two. More strong hearts and bodies are needed. But it appears that things are coming together and come hell or high water we will begin constructing somewhere in May.

Again I say, this is my view, and I speak for no one else.

Again I say I expect more to be forthcoming tomorrow.

Be advised, the four of us seem to have an appetite for nothing less then giving the world a final chance. This is based on a realistic assessment of all of us being right on the edge of a cliff. It is not based on some crazy idea that we know we will succeed although some of us may correctly have such a view. For me I simply know that I am unwilling to try anything less.

Again I say more clarity will be coming forth this early as tomorrow including opportunities for people to begin to more seriously join in with hearts minds and treasure to advance the probabilities of this project offering to the world what the world needs. Communities it starve the corporate capitalist State. Communities that feed the soul of all involved as completely as today's culture Stars those same Souls.

By the end of next week I expect that a mutual evaluation in what may be the spiritually and culturally most promising of our opportunities should be complete in the preliminary beer in northern Minnesota, and I expect we will be headed to potential opportunities in Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania and onward.

Without your involvement starting now, by sharing this and other similar posts over the next coming days, without you putting your back into this the potential will not pay realized.

I am learning that the more decent a person I can become in my actions, the more decent human being, the more I can be a mortal threat to the capitalist corporate fascist state. That's the path, now I just have to learn how to do it well.

I am learning that the more decent a person I can become in my actions, the more decent human being, the more I can be a mortal threat to the capitalist corporate fascist state. That's the path, now I just have to learn how to do it well.

Water protectors, I don't suspect that the following will make me more popular with you. But what.......

Water protectors, I don't suspect that the following will make me more popular with you. But what kind of brother would I be if I shied away from speaking what I consider to be important truth? Rarely if ever does a revolutionary Force emerge and last as a revolutionary Force for more than weeks or a couple of months. It quickly devolves into some form of echo chamber Social Club. Judging from the posts that I see on the internet I believe this is happening to the people that were in Standing Rock. It might not be too late to reverse the slide.

I perceive that anyone that professes to fight the Doom of corporate capitalism instantly defeats themselves the moment that they allow themselves a double standard. It is......

I perceive that anyone that professes to fight the Doom of corporate capitalism instantly defeats themselves the moment that they allow themselves a double standard. It is vanishingly rare that someone that understands himself as the opposition holds himself to as high a standard as they tell their opposition that they should stand to, let alone actually standing to a higher standard, a higher morality which would be really powerful. Everyone wants a revolution. No one wants to be the revolution. The only power that the opposition to the corporate capitalist state can look to is moral power and we squander it and squander it and squander it and squander it.

Who or what is in control, is a horribly consequential thing, no? Some, of all ages, totally freak out if.....

Who or what is in control, is a horribly consequential thing, no?

Some, of all ages, totally freak out if they personally are not in control. Others, of all ages, totally freak out if some strong man, some Authority, an "expert," a "visionary," is not in control telling them what to do. Some freak out if institutional sorts of things are not in control, Academia, science come to mind.

I freak out when any of these are in control. At least on consequential things I do. I freak out.

I trust none of these things when they are in control.

What I trust in control is the human soul, The Souls of human beings, totally subordinating themselves to the well-being of the neediest among them, and hopefully, needfully, passionately devoted to a well-developed, mutually developed, vision of how to serve the larger Collective. I totally freak out when this is not the case, if what is it steak is consequential, and I never involve myself in anything less.

As a Young, Junior, executive in a large computer company I was told that yes, after all my whining, they would support correcting a large Consulting Group in the Pennsylvania area that served the national market for which I was responsible, if I would go and take charge of it. This was a terrifying Prospect. The group was literally hated throughout the country. It was going to take a miracle to turn this around and there was no time.

I remember marching into this room where most of these executive Consultants were far more senior and had far more years than I. I told them, I am not in charge here. What is in charge here is the mission that we have developed to serve our clients and our company. The one we have all just spent weeks in dialogue, expensive and painful dialogue, developing. If you are looking to me or some person to be in charge, "the " leader, this is not the right Organization for you any longer.

There was confused silence. But in not too many hours or days when they saw that I meant it, there was an explosion of energy, creativity, passion, proactivity, Effectiveness, and joy. These were decent people that had been told that they worked for a general manager prior, and that their job was to make money. When they saw that I meant what I said, through my actions, they experienced being profoundly empowered, respected, freed to fully utilize their abilities, to harness their souls their hearts their minds to serve other people.

In three months time this large organization went from being the most hated, to among the most revered groups in the company, as measured through extensive surveys.

Rare is the case when the things that we need to learn, the answers we need to find, are not on the opposite side of a perceived obstacle of pain, even of Terror. Sometimes......

Rare is the case when the things that we need to learn, the answers we need to find, are not on the opposite side of a perceived obstacle of pain, even of Terror. Sometimes when we find the loving, wisdom and courage to go through that obstacle rather than run in Terror from it, we find that the growth was more than worth the effort, and sometimes too, that the pain was much much less than we anticipated. True, if it doesn't kill you you grow, and if you don't risk pain, and sometimes even death, you don't grow.

I find the pain of the horror we've created for ourselves just almost unbearable. But I find doing......

I find the pain of the horror we've created for ourselves just almost unbearable. But I find doing what little I can to try and change the direction is enough to keep me going with joy. Teresa of Calcutta said, if I love until it hurts, there is no more hurt, there is only more love. I agree with the latter part. There's still nearly unbearable pain but it's less than the joy of loving.

By this sick culture we are taught to be afraid of disagreement, we are taught to be afraid of those who are different, ideas that are different, that which is unlike us. It has taken me......

[This is a wordy, but I think important, stream-of-consciousness that came out of some conversations I was blessed to have this morning with my companions.]

By this sick culture we are taught to be afraid of disagreement, we are taught to be afraid of those who are different, ideas that are different, that which is unlike us. It has taken me decades but at long last I  have learned to relish these, and to pretty well transcend the psychological pain that comes with doing so.

I fear not benefiting from these differences, not learning from them, not growing from them, fast enough. I suspected this is what I fear most of all. Why? Because I'm not nearly good enough to be the change in the world that I need to see. & I know I'm not smart enough to figure it out all by myself. And that nor is anyone else. There is a part that I must play but unless I can continue to find that in others which does not yet exist in me, and which is part of the solution that is needed, than I'm of no hope, but useless.

We must learn to relish our important differences.

What I am afraid of is the absence of courageous, compassionate, voracious search for the truth, often in potentially frightening dialogue, including courageously and compassionately and respectfully exploring the important differences between us that we might learn from each other and learn how to joyful fit with one another.

It is said that when two people are the same one of them is not needed. This is very true. I wish I had all the answers. I am so painfully aware that I do not. I am also painfully aware that no credit to me I have more than my share of the answers. But maybe, I hope, you have some of the answers that I lack and if I find the courage, if I find the wisdom to put my ego aside, and fearlessly engage with you to explore our differences, and if you are willing to do the same, maybe we can both become more useful to the future of creation. 

I find all hope in embracing a way of being that is opposite the fear of difference that our sick culture has so ingrained in us, and so values. Why? Not because I value all difference intrinsically. Donald Trump is very different than me and I don't value all of his differences, I hate many of them. I view them as cancer.

But everyone has, or had, the ability to pursue and learn the truth. Not my truth, Not Your Truth, but the objective truth that is out there according to the likes of Einstein and Jesus and Buddha and Gandhi , and that we can if we try very hard get closer to.

Gandhi said the truth is God. He said God is truth, and truth is God. There is no difference. Thereby he said that all hope is in people moving closer to the truth.

I believe that all hope is in this and only in finding a passion and courage to compassionately seek the truth in ourselves and others do we have a prayer of moving to a future worth living for the coming Generations.

In my experience doing this requires enormous courage and bearing the pain of our imperfect nervous systems that have been taught all sorts of reasons to fear being perceived as not having all the answers. Unless we fix this in ourselves real fast and develop a passion for pursuing the truth at near any personal cost, all hope has already been lost.

[Oh, people on the left, progressives, liberals, they pursue the truth in this way intrinsically? Yes, indeed they're certain they do. In case you suspect this might not be the case, you will find confirmation of that in a recent truthdig video of Chris Hedges speaking with the author of The recently published book, Postcards From the death of America, or something like that. I recommend it. It did not help my depression of the last week or so. Be warned.]

From my earliest memory pain is what I was afraid of, my own suffering, or that of people close to me , never death, I never then or now remember being afraid of my own death. I experience.....

From my earliest memory pain is what I was afraid of, my own suffering, or that of people close to me , never death, I never then or now remember being afraid of my own death.

I experience that my relationship to suffering, my own, maybe changing in a way that I find promising and even wonderful.

Weeks ago anticipating the possibility of tremendous suffering at the hands of the police state, my own suffering, and the potential of prolong suffering for years in prison as a consequence, I reported that all of a sudden I felt my spirit evolving. I began to find that if I looked to my left or my right I could see my children and their parents in Syria who's suffering will always exceed mine, and the parents and children in Palestine where it is exactly the same , and or the parents or children in u.s. Israeli prisons suffering tortures I'll never suffer no matter what. And that in doing this my Terror went away.

Today I had two teeth extracted. When the dentist looked at my x-rays and how deeply embedded The Roots were in the bone he almost groaned. He was a master. No one could have done a better job. Few could have done nearly as well.

But I have had similar teeth work in recent years and again, my relationship to my own suffering is changing. In anticipation of the pain I rapidly summon into my mind children and adults being savagely tortured in Israeli jails for simply being non-jewish human beings whose land the white settlers want at any price to the Palestinians. My worry about my own suffering and my experience of it diminished tremendously.

If this is a passing technique and in the future does not help me I will report this but I suspect it is a tremendous Evolution and gift for me.

For me the present, 2017, and the future, is the greatest emergency ever confronting Humanity or all of creation. One might say that the Cuban Missile Crisis was.....

For me the present, 2017, and the future, is the greatest emergency ever confronting Humanity or all of creation. One might say that the Cuban Missile Crisis was similar, but I disagree. Nuclear war has the Saving Grace of maybe Exterminating everything and eliminating all suffering, near instantaneously, or in just a few years. Unless some impossible Miracle or Miracles are worked now, 2017, radically altering the future, there will be Untold Generations living in material and psychological hell due to the ravages of uncontrolled corporate capitalism, global warming, and fascism.

I live this emergency, the urgency. I make it my business to live this emergency because no where else can I find the motivation, Clarity, guidance I need to control my pitiful, Breath by breath actions, or the intense providing Joy of trying to help.

My first visit to jail was 12 years ago at the Pentagon when I non-violently was protesting the military corporate Empire. It was nothing in retrospect, but it was pretty alarming to me, the jail part, at the time. Even back then that's so urgent I thought it was to try and stop the empire.

The urgency I feel regarding global warming drove me to occupy the Canadian embassy , the hosts of the earth killing tar Sands, for over 400 Days twenty-four hours a day 3 years ago, including a 50-day hunger strike that caused me to be hospitalized. And knowing that it was likely to be fatal,  passed on  cancer treatment  so that I could continue the vigil and hunger strike. yes, it turns out they were able to save me, mostly to the surprise of the doctors when they were able to begin treatment four months late. It had rapidly spread,  but not as far as they expected. Nobody should be impressed with this. Nobody was impressed with this though there were a couple of LA Times articles. But I don't do things to impress, I do things to fulfill the dictates of my soul as best they tell me to reduce, possibly reduce, the suffering of my Global family, present and future.

A recent situation has caused me to reflect on my life in a way that I haven't done in many months or probably years, in this particular direction. And what I remember is that I have known, painfully, throughout my adulthood, that the only place that I either fit, or feel fulfilled, is when two things are true:

1. There is by any objective measure an emergency which if not dealt with with impossible speed will cause tremendous suffering to individuals, such as the needless demise of a company or Department, or creation incinerating global warming, or the continuance of the genocide in US/Israeli Palestine....

2. The other element which often is not present even when the first one is, really usually is not present even when the first one is, is at least a core group of people that either Live the truth of the emergency, or that I can gently and quickly help see the truth of the emergency at which point they then live it with every ounce of their strength. The family emergency response, as I have written of for many many years.

When both of those elements are not present I am a fish out of water, a cause of dissension unintentionally but unavoidably, a cause of friction, absolutely miserable, and probably people around me become miserable as well.

I instantly withdraw myself from such situations when I determine that they are not going to be changed. In the late '90's I made such a decision, it in part was influenced by this and cost me roughly $300,000 per year. I didn't hesitate. It is not my purpose in life to cause other people discomfort, quite the opposite, and I am unable to allow even one second of my time, one breath, to not be fully utilized.

This has resulted in me fighting alone , many would see it as my choice, I understand it as a square peg not fitting in a round hole, but either way this has caused me to fight alone for most of the last 15 years, and I suspect this will be true for the rest of my days.

Epiphany, for me? The best scholarship I know on the historical Jesus, Dominic crossan of the Jesus seminar, says that the central feature, the central mission, of the man Jesus was.....

Epiphany, for me? The best scholarship I know on the historical Jesus, Dominic Crossan of the Jesus seminar, says that the central feature, the central mission, of the man Jesus was to preserve the one thing that those masses being destroyed by the Roman Empire could hold onto if they chose, their community, being family to one another, regardless of how incredibly difficult the Roman Empire made that through their savagery.

The communal meal was not symbolic, it was the central Ministry. His Central message was, you must not allow this savagery to destroy that which is most sacred, your unconditional loving, your being unconditional family one to another, especially the outcast, the enemy...

I have known and been impressed by this scholarly insight for many years. But just this morning several things are colliding in my mind, the fact that more than half of this country now lives in objective material poverty, the fact that the most joyous larger community that I have ever personally witnessed lived in considerable material misery at Standing Rock for months , that the most joyful body of people of any huge size that ever was on this continent were the Native Americans before Columbus arrived, and this recollection of Jesus teaching.

When 15 years ago I left a $300,000 a year career in Industry and became an elementary school guidance counselor in one of the country's largest and neediest elementary schools, Chester Pennsylvania , I was aware of a problem that I never adequately solved at the time, what did I want for these children, these materially poor children, did I want them to become part of the sick society that created them? I now have a much better understanding of the answer.

The answer is hinted at in a vision that I shared some days ago, ( please see Link in comments below).

When, as I hope occurs, I soon resume my travels across the country I expect to add to my itinerary places like Detroit where I think there may be some fertile ground for sewing/cultivating this seed, for helping the materially poor in cities and places like that to possibly see that their opportunity is not to seek the faux-Heaven, the actual hell, that Mammon tells us looks like the capitalist society, but the heaven that Jesus spoke of, from each according to their ability, to each according to their need. The world Gandhi hinted at, a world that has enough for everyone's need, but not enough for anyone's greed.

If those who would be like a Jesus, unconditional loving incarnate, if those who would be like Jesus Are One in a Million, If they.......

If those who would be like a Jesus, unconditional loving incarnate, if those who would be like Jesus Are One in a Million, If they have always been one in a million, If they will never be more than one in a million as all history suggests is the case, then the choice is to facilitate and Foster those one-in-a-million or to give up. Giving up doesn't interest me.