Thank goodness that the sick crippling inebriating delusion that my life is my own is long past. No credit to me my life is the joy of knowing that it belongs to my neediest sisters and brothers. I regret every moment that I denied what my soul always knew.
9.01.2016
***** To the core of 6 or so individuals in DC government and nonprofits that I see working so honestly, courageously, humanely , intelligently, selflessly, in solidarity with the homeless and or poor in the DC region: I remain with you in spirit and gratitude, but my body, not so much. I'm called to Explorer For Life, Spirit, Humanity, reverence for life, Wonder, awe, willingness to stand for the next Generations... I'm called to explore and see if this exists in sufficient quantity in US to give........
To the core of 6 or so individuals in DC government and nonprofits that I see working so honestly, courageously, humanely , intelligently, selflessly, in solidarity with the homeless and or poor in the DC region: I remain with you in spirit and gratitude, but my body, not so much.
I'm called to Explorer For Life, Spirit, Humanity, reverence for life, Wonder, awe, willingness to stand for the next Generations... I'm called to explore and see if this exists in sufficient quantity in US to give the next Generations a future. Sadly it is clear to me that it absolutely is not available in sufficient quantity in Washington DC, present company I hope, excepted.
I really have no hope that it's out there but it's the only thing that can save us if kindled or rekindled and I need to go give it a shot. My primary Mentor, the man Jesus, said, love as I have loved, and I shall continue to try to do just that, for the nowhere else to be found joy of it. For the nowhere else to be found piece of heart of it. For the nowhere else to be found Hope of it.
It has totally absorbed me these recent weeks preparation including technical leading-edge enhancements to the Free Palestine Solar Fusion Bike Car Sailer. Hence my absence from the otherwise very important meetings.
Tomorrow morning as early as 3 a.m. to avoid the murderous DC traffic I expect to be pedaling My Way South. Plan A currently within me is to return by mid-november from the most southern portions of Florida before the weather gets too bad up here, for a few months rest, to briefly rejoin you, and to prepare for a year or so Journey.. But Plan B also seems to be quite active and that is to continue around the country for a year or several years doing what I can.
Again, as I reflect on this call with in my chest, the words of my brother Jesus come to mind, I came to bring a fire and oh how I wish it were raging. That's how I feel. I've got to continue to try. LOL. Yes, it is absolutely ridiculous. But I cannot not try.
It has been a privilege to work with each of you. You might think that I'm abandoning ship, or was never serious to begin with. I've never been more serious than in the work that I attempted to do alongside of you and it is exactly because of how important that work is that I am called to go do what I'm called to do.
I have come to think of what you do as sort of the mash unit in the middle of the war. Unless some folks cause the war to stop the mash unit cannot succeed.
And stopping the war, stopping the war of soon terminal to all life on Earth mindless greed that we all in this culture consider virtue, will require an anti-violent army. I must go see if one can be raised.
James
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8.30.2016
The schedule is holding for the commencement of the 3000-mile 2 month Journey to begin early early Friday morning. The country is so incredibly, so filled with hatred....
The schedule is holding for the commencement of the 3000-mile 2 month Journey to begin early early Friday morning. The country is so incredibly, so filled with hatred and evil, I wonder if it is time for my number to come up on some back road in the south. If and when it happens I just hope it's quick.
In life it is inescapable that each moment we seek to feel psychologically full, and there are only two ways to pursue that: 1. Having, 2. Being. In our culture......
In life it is inescapable that each moment we seek to feel psychologically full, and there are only two ways to pursue that: 1. Having, 2. Being. In our culture we are taught that there is only one way, having. In truth, there is only one way that can succeed, that can make us feel constantly full, being. Did you know that Americans are the most self-medicated people there have ever been? Did you know that for decades Americans have been roughly 4% of the world's population consuming roughly 25% of the world's resources?
There have been some extremely significant exceptions, but a central story of my adulthood has been a pattern of extremely intense leadership actions in dire human circumstances, attended by at least a small Cadre of excited colleagues only........
There have been some extremely significant exceptions, but a central story of my adulthood has been a pattern of extremely intense leadership actions in dire human circumstances, attended by at least a small Cadre of excited colleagues only to find that in the midst of battle there was just one person out on the field of battle actually taking the risks, paying the price, fighting, me, alone, colleagues safely and immovably, with all the excuses in the world, on the sidelines.
8.27.2016
### No friends in deed. Mission Exploring for Life in US will take place regardless, beginning Friday barring any major disasters. A little bit of lip service but no help has.......
### No friends in deed. Mission will take place regardless, beginning Friday barring any major disasters. A little bit of lip service but no help has materialized regarding Logistics or occasional lodging or shelter from likely hurricanes, no money for food, the trip will take place anyway. If there is a perfect metaphor for what my nervous system is calling me to do I haven't yet found it. Fishing Expedition captures some of it, the inability to see where the fish are but one takes One's best shot and place, for a while, and then moves on and repeats. But there is also an element of being a cultivator of life, a sower of seeds, that I find in this call. Another metaphor, and a better one I think, is, Exploring for Life in US. This encompasses the aspect of attempting to be a source of seeds, a sewer of seeds. Particularly if one keeps in mind the notion of, searching for Life on Mars, it incorporates the aspect of truly not knowing if there are any subpopulations or individuals in America above the age of two or three years old that can support the life of the child that is born within all of us, unconditionally loving, filled with wonder, awe, amazement. If what I'm saying seems insulting to anyone I'm okay with that. In the sheer fact that no support has emerged for this mission I don't take it personally, I take it as affirmation that even the subgroup with whom I've been in communication many for a long time now, what Gandhi considered life, the love of a mother for her child, but spread Universally, it just isn't there. I'm not denigrating anyone. I'm not elevating myself. Although I think I'm infinitely more healthy now than I was even 15 years ago, spiritually, psychologically, I was doing my absolute best then, I'm doing my absolute best now. Nothing more can be asked of any individual. But I assess that I was infinitely less healthy then. And I assess that even those with whom I have been in close communication with maybe one or two exceptions, lack what is the life that has animated the great Souls throughout history that are possessed by, seek to be possessed by, this Spirit within them that they can't control but that they can submit to, be it called conscience, heart, soul, wisdom, Loving , Divine insanity, solidarity with the neediest Among Us. The first of roughly 3,000 miles, and then 5 or ten Thousand Miles subsequently around the country begins on Friday barring any major disasters in final preparation of this vehicle.
8.25.2016
Soon I expect to be unfriending those who have shown through their inaction that they are not. Through our Mass delusions we......
Soon I expect to be unfriending those who have shown through their inaction that they are not. Through our Mass delusions we are killing ourselves and killing all decent future. None of us should enable that, none of us should support that, should we? Let's be honest.
8.24.2016
Extremely meaningful work, an extremely meaningful mission, is the one and only element that is necessary and sufficient to the highly gratified life, this contrary to all of our cultural toxic wisdom. As with every life-form we........
Extremely meaningful work, an extremely meaningful mission, is the one and only element that is necessary and sufficient to the highly gratified life, this contrary to all of our cultural toxic wisdom. As with every life-form we are inescapably designed to serve the neediest around us, but unlike every other life-form we are f****** clever enough to convince ourselves of the opposite. Hence we are the most medicated species, the most medicated generation in history. And with breathtaking insanity we do all in our power to escape the opportunities to devote ourselves, to meaningfully contribute, to the neediest Among Us. I don't have the time to cite the studies that most clearly point to this other than to say that Victor Frankl's, man's search for meaning, presents the truth clearly for those who are able to see it.
8.23.2016
All Hope, finally, in 2016, is of the Spirit, by the spirit, and for the spirit. Nowhere other than this can the power be found to turn us around away from total Destruction.
All Hope, finally, in 2016, is of the Spirit, by the spirit, and for the spirit. Nowhere other than this can the power be found to turn us around away from total Destruction.
As I spoke of the upcoming 3000 mile fishing Expedition the elderly man began crying. His soul got it. His soul was moved. Any hope for a habitable planet requires moving the soul.
As I spoke of the upcoming 3000 mile fishing Expedition the elderly man began crying. His soul got it. His soul was moved. Any hope for a habitable planet requires moving the soul.
Leading Doctor Calls Climate Change Gravest Health Threat of 21st Century 'When you cannot feed your children, you will do anything, even if it means going to war. This is the reality of climate change'
8.21.2016
In the last several days I have realized that I am much more alone in the mission of life than I had realized, and I knew I was very alone. I have realized that many who......
In the last several days I have realized that I am much more alone in the mission of life than I had realized, and I knew I was very alone. I have realized that many who I thought were friends are not, indeed. I experience the truth as liberating and empowering, regardless of how harsh or sad it may be.
8.20.2016
My friends, my family, my fellow Wagers of loving, are those that support my mission, and those whose mission I support.
My friends, my family, my fellow Wagers of loving, are those that support my mission, and those whose mission I support.
8.19.2016
### Accepting donations for the upcoming three thousand mile trip to Florida and back in the free Palestine solar bike car. The trip requires......
#### Accepting donations for the upcoming three thousand mile trip to Florida and back in the free Palestine solar bike car. As of today, so that the mission can take place, the money that I have for food for the next two months is 0. I'm fine with that, but the mission isn't going to last very long, I'm not going to exist very long, unless that changes. Not my job. My job is to undertake the mission. Yesterday and today it became clear that the trip requires investment in a $1,600 (installed) transmission, https://www.rohloff.de/en/products/speedhub/, an internally geared bike Hub, literally the only Hub in the world robust enough* for the stress I put on this vehicle. The Standard hub has just broken for the sixth time. Although that Hub is under warranty it is just not feasible to undertake this first 3000 leg of the Nationwide tour coming up without a reliable gear system. The trip is going to happen, and I'm going deep into debt now so that it does. How long it lasts, how long I last, depends on whether donations are forthcoming and/or the assistance I've requested prior, which has not materialized at all, in the form of individuals or organizations points South that want to provide a meal, a place for a sleeping bag that is safe, shelter from hurricanes literally... The Pay Pal is at Start underscore loving at yahoo.com. You should share this opportunity with anyone that you think wants to see the mission succeed. The mission is described here. http://jesusgodgoodetcnjay.blogspot.com/2016/08/your-help-needed-searching-for-life-in.html
* There's a remote chance that one other Hub could do the job, at roughly half the price, the Shimano alfine 11, and with the help of a highly-qualified very decent bike shop locally that too is being explored.
8.18.2016
***** If our citizen cowardice and inaction, if our liberal Citizen inaction and cowardice, are not to blame for the world's problems then there is no hope because no one can set things right except for we American citizens, we liberal American citizens. To someone that is outraged that I.....
***** If our citizen cowardice and inaction, if our liberal Citizen inaction and cowardice, are not to blame for the world's problems then there is no hope because no one can set things right except for we American citizens, we liberal American citizens. To someone that is outraged that I would not send Obama to Louisiana until they stop denying climate change: I'm an American, I live in America, I believe that America5 deserves and Americans deserve need Untold misery for our criminal neglect and how we allow our government to trample people all around the world. That means that I would suffer for that to happen. I take responsibility for the actions of my government. The buck stops with me. In my book, and in the real world, the buck stops with we citizens. You need not feel the same. But that's how I feel and that's how I act..... and to a long time friend who is horrified at my stance on this, I reject citizens blaming what is 99.99 9% of what we f****** liberals do. Oh, except ourselves, we never blame ourselves. I embrace total responsibility, personal responsibility, personal f****** citizen no excuse buck stops here responsibility. If you are only understanding that now about me, thank goodness you are understanding it now. I am happy to be rejected, I welcome being rejected, unfriended, whatever, by all who do not Embrace this. It is totally right and just that those who do not Embrace this would unfriend me. James
Throughout my entire adulthood I disallow myself the luxury of optimism, or pessimism. I demand of myself.....
Throughout my entire adulthood I disallow myself the luxury of optimism, or pessimism. I demand of myself to enable my mission with reality as close as I can get to it and that tends to be extremely harsh, so harsh that few have learned how to deal with it. Any role I've played as transformational Catalyst throughout my adulthood has entirely relied on this willingness to face and bear harsh realities that virtually no one else will. Reality will assert itself. The sooner I can find it and face it the more time I have to change it. I refuse to sacrifice that advantage. I'll continue to the pay the price of increased isolation to do so.
8.17.2016
My view is that Revolution is the only thing that can save us, anti violent, and that in Revolution the president is irrelevant, the Congress is irrelevant, the revolution prevails when the revolutionaries have become the relevant entity. It will not happen until more and more of us get past the illusion that the government will save us or that the government is the problem. Our cowardice, our inaction is the problem.
My view is that Revolution is the only thing that can save us, anti violent, and that in Revolution the president is irrelevant, the Congress is irrelevant, the revolution prevails when the revolutionaries have become the relevant entity. It will not happen until more and more of us get past the illusion that the government will save us or that the government is the problem. Our cowardice, our inaction is the problem.
I see no hope. I have no hope. But I see needless suffering. So I fight on.
I see no hope. I have no hope. But I see needless suffering. So I fight on.
' What do you think happened to Jesus when he died?' This a young man asked me this morning. My reply : No offense friend. I say the following with all due respect. I think Albert Einstein was a great physicist. I don't care where he was born. It does not.....
8.16.2016
"those with more intelligence and the capacity to use it… are less likely to spend so much time socializing because they are focused on some other longer term objective,” Carol Graham, who researches the economics of happiness for the Brookings Institute, told The Washington Post.
8.15.2016
### Early September I depart possibly the day after my consult with my cancer doctor. And if she can't meet with me soon enough.....
### Early September I depart possibly the day after my consult with my cancer doctor. And if she can't meet with me soon enough I'll just leave anyway. My current guess is soon as September 2nd. In the meantime I'll be occupying the campuses in the Washington DC Region as folks return to college. I'll occupy with free Palestine Fusion Bikar.
http://jesusgodgoodetcnjay.blogspot.com/2016/08/your-help-needed-searching-for-life-in.html
###. Shared with the Saint of a Dr., she who has beaten my cancer so far. A consistantly Divine presence in my life for 6 years or more now: Never once in my life have I done anything because Jesus said it or did it. I'm not........
When out of the blue the spirit moved me to go on This 3000 MI fishing Expedition, http://jesusgodgoodetcnjay.blogspot.com/2016/08/your-help-needed-searching-for-life-in.htmlhttp://jesusgodgoodetcnjay.blogspot.com/2016/08/your-help-needed-searching-for-life-in.html the following came into my mind. 'I came to bring a fire and oh how I wish it was raging.'
That's exactly how I feel. I want that more than anything else. I'll pay any personal price for it. Even though I expect to totally fail, I will not fail to try.
Doc C, just this moment something else occurred to me, just this moment because of my encounter with you today, the following now also comes into my mind, you are to be Fishers of Men.
There, you've moved me once again to Great emotion. Your Divine presence.
James
8.14.2016
If you knew that there is no heaven outside of this life ( it's true ) , and you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you be doing today? Why aren't you doing that???
If you knew that there is no heaven outside of this life ( it's true ) , and you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you be doing today? Why aren't you doing that???
8.10.2016
***** Little if anything has the power of the catalyst, miniscule entity massively transforms an infinitely larger whole. It pays the price of total isolation, never becoming part of the larger whole.
Little if anything has the power of the catalyst, miniscule entity massively transforms an infinitely larger whole. It pays the price of total isolation, never becoming part of the larger whole.
I had a criminally over privileged upbringing, as continued most of my adulthood. In my youth I did nothing besides watch television. I read almost nothing. But I remember reading The Diary of Anne Frank and what I value in myself today, and in my life as I live it now, might not be there had I not read that book. Unlike my Zionist sisters and brothers that took the lesson, never again to us, the lesson seared into my soul forever I took from it was, never again to anyone.
I had a criminally over privileged upbringing, as continued most of my adulthood. In my youth I did nothing besides watch television. I read almost nothing. But I remember reading The Diary of Anne Frank and what I value in myself today, and in my life as I live it now, might not be there had I not read that book. Unlike my Zionist sisters and brothers that took the lesson, never again to us, the lesson seared into my soul forever I took from it was, never again to anyone.
8.09.2016
***** EFLV (exploring for Life voyage): The theory that I'm operating under explicitly, is one that I have implicitly held Central for my entire adulthood, the need for, and the need from me to be, catalytic change. My sense is that.......
The theory that I'm operating under explicitly, is one that I have implicitly held Central for my entire adulthood, the need for, and the need from me to be, catalytic change. My sense is that catalytic change is the most dramatic, transformative, powerful available in nature. A miniscule amount of an element is introduced into a system, the right type of element, and the right type of system and the entire Mass transforms almost instantaneously. This notion was Central to Leo Tolstoy’s ideas expressed in his book, the kingdom of God is within you, that was read by Young Gandhi in England that caused Gandhi to totally change the course of his life, 180 degrees. Tolstoy I was that kind of catalyst for Gandhi, and Gandhi became that sort of catalyst for India and the world for a brief period in time.
That I am explicitly pursuing this strategy in no way is a statement that I think I'll succeed. Quite the opposite. Few people in history have succeeded at this although few have tried. But I pursue it of necessity and I think you should consider doing the same. Unless some small element, some minuscule elements, evolve and emerge quickly that cause a massive immediate catalytic Global transformation.... the game's over.
***** Your help needed: Exploring for Life in America, part one, South to Florida and back. Late August through late November. The free Palestine, wagers of loving, solar bike car and me..........
Spirit is everything. It is not that groups I've been working with are bad or useless per se, but in this last decade and throughout my lifetime I find no spirit in these, not yet, anyway. Not since dr. King was assassinated back in the sixties. Groups and organizations and activities like these are instead of spirit in charge. No magic comes from these. Magic happens, Revolution happens, in the spirit of Wonder and amazement and awe. In my prior quarter Century successful business life and in my life-long studies I find no exceptions.
That I am explicitly pursuing this strategy in no way is a statement that I think I'll succeed. Quite the opposite. Few people in history have succeeded at this although few have tried. But I pursue it of necessity and I think you should consider doing the same. Unless some small element, some minuscule elements, evolve and emerge quickly that cause a massive immediate catalytic Global transformation.... the game's over. Understanding how Central this is is necessary to understanding when Gandhi says, Be the Change you wish to see in the world. Be the catalyst.
James
8.08.2016
Neocons pushed America into Iraq War for the benefit of Israel.
Manic depression? Metamorphosis? Both I suspect. Inseparable I suspect. Tho I can't cite the studies off hand I think there's a high correlation......
Manic depression? Metamorphosis? Both I suspect. Inseparable I suspect.
Tho I can't cite the studies off hand I think there's a high correlation between the highly creative, high contributors, and some form of manic depression. I don't think it's much different than how I was as a world-class skier. You give your last drop of self to the downhill run, then you sit totally spent on the chair lift for a long time. Then repeat, repeat, repeat... gradually but surely becoming stronger, more competent, even more filled with joy and pain.
This morning here at the DNC after receiving a lovely smile and loving comment from a young Palestinian woman, and then thinking for the very first time to order some Palestinian fair trade olive oil https://www.canaanusa.com/shop/community-support/ bringing me in closer personal contact with the part of my family I've been so devoted to for so long now, I'm overwhelmed with emotion. Sobbing.
So much accumulated grief.
Partly exhaustion. For the last 2 days my mind has been unwilling to shut down, little to no sleep, an Unstoppable torrent of thoughts... a yearning and now detailed planning to undertake a cross-country trip to try and encounter and ignite Souls able to rekindle human spirit should any there still be, a Cascade of breakthroughs regarding the free Palestine solar vehicle on issues I've been pondering enhancements I've been looking to along a myriad of dimensions, major major breakthroughs in my understanding of the physics and mechanics of this solar vehicle as to how much energy it takes from me the Sun climbing descents energy generation and output... absolute explosion of and leaps in understanding.
This after after weeks of high productivity coupled with despondency over the world and the utterly disgusting DNC et cetera. The journey continues. James