***** My only loyalty, my entire loyalty, is to loving, in whatever species, and in whatever individual or group, I see it. This is why my loyalty is not to the human species, not any longer with.....

### My only loyalty, my entire loyalty, is to loving, in whatever species, and in whatever individual or group, I see it. This is why my loyalty is not to the human species, not any longer with what I see now that the carefully culture crafted illusions sewn into my eyes since birth have been substantially removed. This is why I have not jumped on board the Sanders campaign. He is a very loving individual, his supporters, my sisters and brothers all, with few exceptions, are not. They want more Justice for themselves. I don't begrudge them that. But that's not what loving does. His supporters are not nearly as deprived or abused, with few exceptions, as the billions on Earth who have been the victim of our Collective American excesses. My point is not to denigrate anyone. My point is to share my understanding of why to my surprise I am not jumping onboard the Sanders campaign, and other aspects of me that I find surprising but persistent. Phyllis Ann Salomone Collins Shodo Spring Kathy Green Dave Schwenk

***** I am alone, isolated, fighting alone, ( and every breath filled with joy and peace ) because 15 years ago I did what terrifies Americans, what terrifies westerners, what terrifies we over-privileged, what terrifies liberals, what terrifies activist-inos... more than anything else in the world. I gave up. I surrendered. I refused to......

***** I am alone, isolated, fighting alone, ( and every breath filled with joy and peace ) because 15 years ago I did what terrifies Americans, what terrifies westerners, what terrifies we over-privileged, what terrifies liberals, what terrifies activist-inos... more than anything else in the world. I gave up. I surrendered. I refused to fight anymore... I refused any longer to fight my heart. I refused any longer to fight my conscience. They had been nagging at me my entire disgustingly over privileged life. I at long last caved, I gave in. I found within me a vow that I have adhered to ever since. I didn't make a vow,  as I find doing such things terribly counterproductive. I found the vow in my heart and I surrender to it for the greedy Joy of it. That vow that I found there and surrender to was that I would give my life to my human and nonhuman family on Earth as best I could with every breath. That I would never again prostitute myself to the values, machines, organizations, systems of Our Sick culture for one second, not for 1 cent, regardless of the personal consequences, that I would give my life and not divert one second to earning a life for myself. If my sisters and brothers were happy to let me expire, that wasn't my business, that wasn't my concern, and I would not  divert a second to that. And with never a second thought because of the overwhelming peace and joy of that path, and because of the singular hope that that path gives, I have never looked back, only forward to the absolute joy and peace and hope of that decision, that direction, of that path. That is,  I finally said yes to what we westerners have been taught to avoid with our last breath, I said yes to heart in charge ( not to be confused with self-indulgent sentimentality ) and thereby I allowed the material world that I had been taught to Crave as a Westerner to totally disintegrate, to totally turn against me because of the path that I walk. Again, never for one breath have I looked back because of the overwhelming joy and peace, every breath, and extreme pain of the suffering world that is my fuel, of that path. I gave into truth Force. I gave in to soulforce. I surrendered to my heart. I have worked assiduously to keep my heart in charge ever since and with very very very few moments of error, I have succeeded. It is heaven, the heaven that has always been written of, and the heaven not one in a million find. But it is the heaven that every true activist lives in by whatever words, or no words at all. The one in a Million. Obviously I use every neuron in my head, infinitely more than most. Obviously I find physical strength despite my stage 4 cancer and age that many people can't imagine. That's what the heart in charge does. I use my head. I use my flesh. More particularly my heart, that I deliberately and scrupulously keep in charge, uses  both my head and my flesh to the fullest. But I never make the mistake of letting them,  my head or flesh, be in charge, only my heart, with no credit to me. Finally, after 45 years of having my head and flesh in charge, I surrendered, I gave up, to my heart, my soul, my conscience. My heart has been my loving, immensely harsh, unimaginably wise master ever since. And so I am physically alone, and certainly will remain physically alone, and relatively materially impoverished, as a consequence, a price that I pay every day without a shred of regret, for the greedy, infinite,  joy and peace of Heart of it.

### Jane Goodall is correct, there is still much worth saving, but that does not include the human species, although it does include a few individual humans.

### Jane Goodall is correct, there is still much worth saving, but that does not include the human species, although it does include a few individual humans.

***** Avoiding unpleasantness is not the reason for denial, not the primary reason. Avoiding unpleasantness is not the reason that we limit how much ugliness we are willing to see on Facebook, how much unpl......

***** Avoiding unpleasantness is not the reason for denial, not the primary reason. Avoiding unpleasantness is not the reason that we limit how much ugliness we are willing to see on Facebook, how much unpleasantness we allow to become Central in so-called activism or in the nature of the so-called activism we have been willing to practice these last forty years or so. The primary function of denial is not to avoid unpleasantness, it is to avoid becoming loving, it is to avoid Gandhi's Truth Force, to avoid what happens when Awful Truth makes it past our denial system and hits our heart. It activates our heart, it hijacks our nervous system, and turns us near irresistibly into Insanely Humane (INSHE) Warrior antiviolent Servants of righteousness, Servants of what is Right, Servants of what our human family most needs of us, what all of our fellow life forms need of us. God forbid.... So, as the central one of our many contributions to the extermination of all life on Earth, we f****** baby boomers, our central contribution has been the activism-ino-ism of the last 40 years which is so careful to be sure that we conduct ourselves in a way that it is attractive, it is fun, it is Pleasant, it is something that people want to do, to 'join' ( a social club with a thin veneer of activism )... thereby scrupulously and absolutely avoiding bringing online truth Force, the heart, soul Force, loving... the only force in the universe that could overcome the largest mercenary force that Earth has ever seen. Brilliant. Murder.

***** I want a world where we give ourselves, give our lives, to the least of these, not where we continue to prostitute ourselves to the most greedy of these, so that we can become among the most greedy of these.

***** I want a world where we give ourselves, give our lives, to the least of these, not where we continue to prostitute ourselves to the most greedy of these, so that we can become among the most greedy of these.

The pursuit of justice is a wonderful breeding ground, a wonderful excuse, for hatred among those doing the pursuit toward whoever their targets are. The arrogance, hatred, hypocrisy in current 2016 so-called activism........

The pursuit of justice is a wonderful breeding ground, a wonderful excuse, for hatred among those doing the pursuit toward whoever their targets are. The arrogance, hatred, hypocrisy in current 2016 so-called activism is throwing this in my face as I so wish it was not. Without love, it is hatred. If anyone is being dehumanized, discriminated against against, victimized, it is not loving, just more of the same old hatred. Not Revolution. More of the same. Just an attempted change in who is doing the oppressing and who is oppressed.

***** Climate activists taunting the police, my sisters and brothers all. I want that world of your hatred and taunts toward the police, even less than I want the world of climate change. I'd.......

Climate activists taunting the police, my sisters and brothers all. I want that world of your hatred, nastiness, immaturity, Tantrums, Self righteousness, hipocricy, over privilege, and taunts toward the police, even less than I want the world of climate change. I'd rather see we humans go extinct as we are doing, and as we will continue to do if this is the best activism you can find to do, and let the rest of the species get a chance to live without us. This, despite the fact that there are few people alive that have offered and paid a higher personal price to stop global warming than I.

I'm quite sure that 9 months from now I will be moving out of this apartment either onto the streets or back into a homeless shelter. This has been a terrific expenditure , the rent I pay every......

I'm quite sure that 9 months from now I will be moving out of this apartment either onto the streets or back into a homeless shelter. This has been a terrific expenditure , the rent I pay every month, to give me a firm footing to launch into my advocacy for the underclass in Washington DC which is taking roughly half of my time now. As I knew, there were nonprofits that would not work with me constructively as a homeless person, that allow me to gain entry now to get a foothold as someone with an address. But when this lease is up, which I cannot break without forfeiting the monies due during the 12 months , I will move out on the basis that I have less right given my lifelong disgusting over privileged, that I have less right to this property than do thousands of people on waiting lists in this city. And on the basis that I want and need the money that goes into the rent every month for more for my sisters, brothers, children around the world and in DC far more than I need it for me.

I make any and every penny that I have scream as I pinch it. Every penny that I spend on me is a penny that I do not have to spend on those far needier than I. My current food situation , vegan now that.......

I make any and every penny that I have scream as I pinch it. Every penny that I spend on me is a penny that I do not have to spend on those far needier than I. My current food situation , vegan now that I control what I eat, is 95% vegan. Thank goodness, as I have wanted to be since my college days. Expense wise, I consume almost entirely the expiring food from a profoundly kind coffee shop... pasta, lentils, chickpeas, occasionally a healthy salad. They ask nothing in return. They never have. But I Delight in giving the staff a tip that I think they find fairly large every couple of months. Beyond that for fruit and vegetables I make modest expenditures two places. Farmers markets, I greatly Delight in the supporting their work. And coffee shops and restaurants where I use the restroom when I am doing my work in this vehicle around Washington DC. Whether or not they would ask I do not like taking resources where I don't make a contribution so I will buy typically a couple of oranges or a couple of bananas or cooked vegetables for a couple of dollars.

***** I would infinitely rather be hated for what I say today, than for what I did not say today, 10 years from now.

*****  I would infinitely rather be hated for what I say today, than for what I did not say today, 10 years from now.

I am all work and no play. I'm as much fun as a root canal. I make it my business to live my life in the imagined presence of the most persecuted people on earth and I thereby act accordingly. I look ridiculous, unkind......

I am all work and no play. I'm as much fun as a root canal. I make it my business to live my life in the imagined presence of the most persecuted people on earth and I thereby act accordingly. I look ridiculous, unkind, unpleasant, unkempt because no one sees the jury in front of whom I live my life, or the Raging Battlefield on which I live.

***** It's a curious thing with activists in the last 40 years. Somehow they gleefully embrace the notion that, whatever I feel like doing is better than nothing. I like the idea so it will work. The opposite of SNCC. The opposite of Martin Lu.....

***** It's a curious thing with activists in the last 40 years. Somehow they gleefully embrace the notion that, whatever I feel like doing is better than nothing. I like the idea so it will work. The opposite of SNCC. The opposite of Martin Luther King jr. and those that worked with him. The opposite of Saul Alinsky. The opposite of Gandhi. Very much the stuff of the neocons. Very much the stuff of the conservatives. Very much the stuff of Wall Street, the hedge fund managers. Very much the stuff of the religious fundamentalists. Very much the stuff of Mission Control that sent up the space shuttle Challenger. Very much the stuff of the Pentagon. Hey, it seems right to us, let's do it, it's better than nothing. No discipline, no academic or theoretical rigor, no historical grounding, no humility, no self-restraint, no solemnity, no Soul, no dignity, no paying-the-price.... Hey, I'm an old guy. It really doesn't matter a lot to me personally. I just hate to see you younger ones pissing away what little chance you had.

***** To a young Jedi: Young people can achieve what older folks cannot. If four older women had been killed in a black church bombing in the sixties it might not really have been noticed. But it was four young black girls and......

To a young Jedi: Young people can achieve what older folks cannot. If four older women had been killed in a black church bombing in the sixties it might not really have been noticed. But it was four young black girls and even this near dead hearted Nation couldn't bear the pain without some response. If Malala had been 50 years old ..... If the tens of thousands in Tahrir square  had been my age instead of your age.... Soweto..... If only you young ones could realize the power, especially you over privileged white American children, that you have to the extent that with dignity, discipline, restraint, self respect, reverence for life... you pay, or offer to pay, with your lives, which does not necessarily involve dying, but that you truly offer to pay with your lives for the future that you want for creation. This seems so unjust, but it is what life does. This seems so unjust, but it is exactly what every uniolet Warrior  that we Revere has done.  There is no other way.  It can take many forms, but there is no other way and never will be.  Everything has a price.  Violence seeks to exact that price from the other.  Non violence  is determined to pay, and or offer, that price themselves. Only cancer and violence does not. Violence in the pursuit of justice is still violence, cancer.

I just don't seem to have it in me to work for justice. Sanders, and those working with him, do, but I just don't find it in me. I have it in me to.....

I just don't seem to have it in me to work for justice. Sanders, and those working with him, do, but I just don't find it in me. I have it in me to work, every breath, for loving, but for me, a just world, that is not loving, I just don't have it in me to work for, and I think it's an illusion, I don't think you can arrive at, and I certainly don't think you can maintain, a just world, that is not first, loving.  I don't have it in me to work for justice, first. If you work for loving you may get the healthy, vibrant, joyful, living, self perpetuating, lovely child ... Justice. If you work for Justice at best you will get a stillborn child. At least that's my understanding of how it has always worked and always will.

Does anyone have children... for the CHILD'S Joy? Adults have children thinking about themselves, as I perceive it. How unspeakably selfish. 'Oh, I just think we have created such an incredibly wonderful, bright, joyful, future, in the year 2016, that I just really really really want to bring children into the future. It will be so wonderful for them!!!' WTF???????

Does anyone have children... for the CHILD'S Joy? Adults have children thinking about themselves, as I perceive it. How unspeakably selfish. 'Oh, I just think we have created such an incredibly wonderful, bright, joyful, future, in the year 2016, that I just really really really want to bring children into the future. It will be so wonderful for them!!!' WTF???????

Video. Man. Steve Cutts

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WfGMYdalClU

On being vegan vs. Consuming animal products, part of an ongoing dialogue with a friend: This article just came up on my listening list........

On being vegan vs. Consuming animal products, part of an ongoing dialogue with a friend: This article just came up on my listening list and I went through it pretty thoroughly. Seems like something that you would have, might have, recommended so I share with you my comments. They are not my comments to you. They are my thoughts about the article. I share those thoughts with you.. http://primaleye.uk/ethical-meat-eaters-response-to-cowspiracy/. I've always appreciated, but just in the last year deeply appreciated how absolutely correct I think that Albert Schweitzer was in his assertion that the ultimate human value is, reverence for life. Various people I see on Facebook occasionally refer to the soul of a creature. I don't remember who has made these references, and they have done it in passing it appears to me. But it was useful to me that they did because it captures much how I feel. I relate to what seems to me to be the soul in a dog, a horse, the bat, the dolphin, a jellyfish, worm, and Ant.... I really revere such Souls, Spirits, life... yes, Revere. Hence, I like to see those Souls persist as opposed to being extinguished. I like them to be joyful as opposed to suffering. As I've said, if a mosquito is biting me, if a bed bug is going to bite me I may well kill it. I'm comfortable with boundaries. Not that I should be, but I am. If it turns out that for me to be highly functional I need to eat some level of animal products causing the pain and or death of those animals, I will do it so that I can serve what I think is a larger good. I think that my attitude is similar not only to Scweitzer, but Einstein, Gandhi, and many, most, people that I Revere throughout history. People that I respect prefer that other Souls don't need to suffer. My point in all this is that in my attempt to make every second count I am very conscious of whether a potential Source or an actual source that I am considering has a bias or is simply trying to get at absolute truth. This is especially important in an area that is complex because I look for sources that effectively can save me a whole lot of homework but to do that they need to be very intentionally objective and unbiased. I suspect that there is much useful information in the article above. I also suspect that there is much bias, an author who prefers eating creatures, for the flavor I suspect, secondarily maybe for some health value, and is pretty interested in defending his position. That is his right but it makes him less helpful to me than otherwise. So basically I am unpersuaded by the article. It is my understanding that for an animal to create protein from plants requires a relatively huge amount of resource, land, water, intake of plant material, and that if a human being intelligently consumes plant material they can create their own protein at a relatively small fraction of those resources. On that basis I find the article overall extremely unconvincing. Yes, I absolutely have a biase. I have a bias against making other creatures suffer or die. Except to the degree necessary for basic survival. So I leave the article pretty much where I started, I sense that little or no animal protein is necessary to the healthy human functioning except in rare instances. I am not sure that that is correct. I remain interested to learn otherwise should I be wrong.

***** Mothers Day 2016: In 2016, democracy disintegrating, life on Earth itself disintegrating probably unstoppably, the mother who loves her child the most is the mother who does not bring another child onto this Earth unless and until a livable future is secured. The loving mother in 2016 is she who adopts, not she who gives birth. Hate me if you will, I'd rather be hated for speaking the truth than have the suffering of future children on my conscience and on my heart.

### Mothers Day 2016: In 2016, democracy disintegrating, life on Earth itself disintegrating probably unstoppably, the mother who loves her child the most is the mother who does not bring another child onto this Earth unless and until a livable future is secured. The loving mother in 2016 is she who adopts, not she who gives birth. Hate me if you will, I'd rather be hated for speaking the truth than have the suffering of future children on my conscience and on my heart.

***** I am not an unkind person. I took no joy in watching my cancer be killed, but I was an aggressive party to it. I take no joy per se in the American dream imploding, but.......

***** I am not an unkind person. I took no joy in watching my cancer be killed, but I was an aggressive party to it. I take no joy per se in the American dream imploding, but with respect to the survival of species including human I am glad to see it happenning. I'll continue to do what I can to help us find the wisdom, the sanity, to take charge of the implosion to minimize the otherwise horrible collateral damage. And I'll do what I can personally, and I'll promote as aggressively as I can, that we starve the bloody monster to death just as quickly as we can, just as quickly as Mother Nature demands... yesterday... two centuries ago.

***** You are welcome to hate me for this if you like. Almost always what we mean by love, 99.99% of the time in this sickest of all societies, is lust, be it lust for a Coca Cola, a sex partner, a house.......

### You are welcome to hate me for this if you like. Almost always what we mean by love, 99.99% of the time in this sickest of all societies, is lust, be it lust for a Coca Cola, a sex partner, a house, a vacation, a burger.... Love is me about the other person and their joy and absence of pain. Lust is about me and mine feeling pleasure. 99% of the people that read the picture below will be thinking about lust, though they are sure it is love, as was I, sadly, for most of my decades I was well taught. In no way am I saying which is superior, tho in my experience one is absolutely Superior. Pursuing our lusts is pursuing pleasure. Pursuing love is pursuing joy and our own self sacrifice, and the joy and reduction and suffering of those who need it the most. They are the opposite human emotions. The result of one is constructive creation, the result of the other is war and destruction. The results of 1 is endless cycles of craving and satisfaction craving and satisfaction. The result of the other is complete ever-present Joy, complete ever-present personal suffering, and complete ever-present piece of heart...

I'm pretty much vegan now: I had the right inclinations....

I'm pretty much vegan now: I had the right inclinations from my earliest days but I was overcome by the brainwashing of our culture, and then by the woman I married ( my fault, not hers ). Beginning about 20 years ago I rarely chose to eat any creature that had to die so that I ate. And beginning last month I am now pretty much in charge of my diet except for expired food that I retrieve from a kindly store. If I am offered animal products that otherwise would be thrown out I consume them as an act of respect. Otherwise, pretty much never. For the joy of it. For the joyful solidarity of it. ( and it now I know to get regular vitamin B12 supplements. )

***** My fellow progressives, Sanders supporters, opponents of ecocide: regardless of what else they say or do, none of us that consumes more than our fair share of global resources is an opponent of ecocide, but rather a fierce agent thereof. No one; but rather the most disgusting and leathal of hypocrites. The law of morality and.......

***** My fellow progressives, Sanders supporters, opponents of ecocide: regardless of what else they say or do,  none of us that consumes more than our fair share of global resources is an opponent of  ecocide, but rather a fierce agent thereof. No one; but rather the most disgusting and leathal of hypocrites. The law of morality and the law of ecology finally now reject the delusion that they are two different things. Oh, we are able to continue in our delusion, our hypocrisy, but not without causing the final cataclysm to run its course. Gandhi understood the Golden Rule to be, '...to steadfastly refuse to have what billions cannot have.' True Revolution, now, is all that will save us. The revolution is not , more Justice for we, all of us, grotesquely overprivileged Americans, which by every global standard we are. The revolution is Justice for the least of these our Global sisters and brothers. You, I, have a simple test. Are we truly, actually, really, in truth, living at or near the Golden Rule as stated by Gandhi, which is the measure of our Brotherhood, our solidarity, or sanity, our decency, our worthiness, our loving, or not? Are we consuming more than our absolute need, as measured by our neediest sisters and brothers on Earth? Are we consuming more than our share, as measured by our neediest sisters and brothers on Earth? Those of us that continue to live our grotesque hypocrisy richly deserve the cataclysm that will befall our children. Our children, and our Global neediest sisters and brothers, however, do not. Only living full solidarity with the global media is the revolution. That is the only Revolution that has ever been possible, and the only one yet to be tried.

***** Update regarding my system, nervous system, crash: A. .....

***** Update regarding my system, nervous system, crash: A. confession is good for the soul, and my long post of yesterday regarding my system, nervous system, crash I think was cathartic. Thanks to my friends for being with me. http://jesusgodgoodetcnjay.blogspot.com/2016/05/system-troubles-resetting-restarting-my.html  2. Having enough vitamin B12 is really important, and as a new, pretty much vegan, I need shots or supplements or both for that and was not getting them. 3. And most importantly, Without love it is nothing. If not explicitly devoted to loving, I wish to not be alive. Except when explicitly channeling the loving that is in all of us, I wish not to be in this grotesque hellish world that we have created. I think what my nervous system was telling me is that if not loving, it is not the revolution, no matter how tempting, Sanders campaign, it is too little too late, squandering the tiny little bit of time we have left. No, I am not arguing against Sanders, he is a godsend, and I think, a loving man. But the movement is not loving, not nearly enough, anyway. It is about globally grotesquely over privileged Millennials wanting more Justice for themselves. No, that is not bad, per se. It is not enough. The clarity that seems to have come to me yesterday in deep meditation is that my life needs to rededicate to loving, being loving (in action), and thereby demonstrating the path of loving, with each breath. The jury in front of whom I need to live my life is the people of today and the future that demand nothing less of me than marking the path of loving, desperate for me, pleading for me, for all of us, to find and mark this, the only, way out of the Darkness, the only way to turn from the abyss. It is the path of individual salvation for everyone who walks it... joy, peace of heart , regardless of external circumstances. It is the only potential salvation for any Shred of decency on Earth now or in the future. It is not exclusive of what Sanders and the campaign are trying to do. But as correctly stated in 1 Corinthians 13, without love it is nothing. It is a clashing cymbal. It is finally and absolutely too late for clashing cymbals. LOL, incidentally, last night I seemed to resolve the slow unuseability of my phone, tablet, as well. We'll see.

I put up this site which is almost The Complete Book of essays compiled by Ed Guinan on nonviolence, almost 10 years ago, as I saw it then and now to be the greatest collection on nonviolent action that I have ever seen. And this essay at this link is the greatest essay on nonviolence that I've ever seen. I hope that you consider it deeply, and share it as you think best... http://peaceandnonviolence.blogspot.com/2007/03/love-in-action-thich-nhat-hanh.html?m=1

I put up this site which is almost The Complete Book of essays compiled by Ed Guinan on nonviolence, almost 10 years ago, as I saw it then and now to be the greatest collection on nonviolent action that I have ever seen. And this essay at this link is the greatest essay on nonviolence that I've ever seen. I hope that you consider it deeply, and share it as you think best...  http://peaceandnonviolence.blogspot.com/2007/03/love-in-action-thich-nhat-hanh.html?m=1

***** Ilan Pappe: Israel Is the Last Remaining, Active Settler-Colonialist Project Ilan Pappe discusses Noam Chomsky, Bernie Sanders and the post-Zionist movement. BY Eli Massey

http://inthesetimes.com/article/19107/ilan-pappe-Bernie-Sanders-Noam-Chomsky-BDS-Israel-Palestine/

Hillary supporters, you think that Sanders supporters are risking that a republican will win the election. It is you that are risking a republican winning the presidency. You need to withdraw your support from Hillary and convince her to pull out of the race. Yes, I have never been more serious. No, I don't expect you to do it. But don't say you haven't been told.

Hillary supporters, you think that Sanders supporters are risking that a republican will win the election. It is you that are risking a republican winning the presidency. You need to withdraw your support from Hillary and convince her to pull out of the race. Yes, I have never been more serious. No, I don't expect you to do it. But don't say you haven't been told.

***** Doctors Without Borders Pulls Out Of World Humanitarian Summit, Says It No Longer Has Hope

http://thinkprogress.org/world/2016/05/05/3775550/doctors-without-borders-whs/

***** System troubles. Resetting, restarting, my nervous system: Did you ever have to reset your phone, or computer? To solve a problem? I suspect you have. I'm going through that with my phone tablet right now because the speed is almost unusable. It is taking quite a few times. For the last several weeks I've been trying to reset my nervous system. So far......

***** System troubles. Resetting, restarting, my nervous system: Did you ever have to reset your phone, or computer? To solve a problem? I suspect you have. I'm going through that with my phone tablet right now because the speed is almost unusable. It is taking quite a few times. For the last several weeks I've been trying to reset my nervous system. So far I don't have the sequence right. As with resetting my phone sometimes it takes finding out what doesn't work before the right sequence is found. This is not a new Phenomenon with me and my nervous system. It's been true throughout my entire life, particularly my adulthood. Sometimes in the last few weeks I thought I found the problem and reset, only to find out that not so. Some of it may have been a blood imbalance but I think most of it is I've been thrown off balance by many things in our world recently, and it is taking me awhile to find my balance, my point of focus, my reason for being, my reason for living, the strength to fight, how I am to fight. I suspect it will happen sooner or later. It is upsetting to me to not be at full fighting strength , but part of the fight is being honest with myself and those traveling with me. Please understand if you can. My current theory is that Many Adventures in the past month or so has taken me away from a laser-like focus on my source of life, an empathic Unity with the children in Palestine , empathic Unity with the poor in Washington DC, and or, devoting my life here exclusively to the one in a million Wagers of loving. I am not feeling the acute connection that I have in the past, many distractions, many dilutions. I expect to try and devote as many hours or days as is needed in the hopes of reconnecting, rebooting, my nervous system. Again, please try and be as understanding as you can as I attempt to bring my system fully back online.

Today is the first day in several weeks that I have felt roughly my old normal, which is ready to work. I don't know.......

Today is the first day in several weeks that I have felt roughly my old normal, which is ready to work. I don't know if my nervous system has finally worked things through, or if it was something like a vitamin B12 deficiency. I did get a shot yesterday. I'll be interested to see what the blood work I initiated today has to say. It is continually curious to me that the side of me that admires Bernie Sanders and wants to jump in is continually shot down by the side of me that says no. Too little. Too late. Not the revolution. As anyone can see I continue to put up mildly encouraging posts regarding Sanders for whom I have a high regard. But the only Revolution I'm interested in is a revolution of total solidarity lived with the neediest, loving. And as positive as I see the Sanders campaign being it is a campaign about more Justice for we already over privileged Americans. It's not that I think that is bad, but it is not the revolution I'm waging. At least, this is the best I can figure so far why my body is not climbing into that Sanders fight. Here I sit on K Street with the free Palestine vehicle.

I think the lesson that I'm being taught is what I have long suspected but I'm seeing more clearly, the fight for justice is not the same as the fight for loving. And the only thing that seems to be able to get me out of bed is the fight for loving. Quite perplexing to me. But I think that's what's going on with me. I am not trying to argue that anyone should agree with my point of view. It is too unclear to me to do so.

... It is that at this point in history I think that the only thing that is sustainable is a revolution of total loving , as unlikely as of course that is. But it's the only thing that is sustainable. Everything less is straightening the deck chairs on the Titanic. So I fight, but I fight The Impossible fight for loving, not for slightly delayed Armageddon. This is really really surprising to me, but that's what I think my nervous system is telling me, doing. I keep watching it. I keep questioning. I keep listening. I keep challenging.

At the risk of sounding ridiculous, the solution to climate change is horribly simple. We westerners and those consuming at our level need to stop consuming, and to devote our resources and lives to repairing the billions of lives around the globe that we have destroyed and or put in catastrophic Jeopardy. That's what would happen the degree to which we returned to become loving creatures, as are our Aboriginal sisters and brothers, and most human beings below the age of 2. Nothing else will save our species or the others. Ridiculous, yes. True? Absolutely. Everything else is delusion and delay delay.

At the risk of sounding ridiculous, the solution to climate change is horribly simple. We westerners and those consuming at our level need to stop consuming, and to devote our resources and lives to repairing the billions of lives around the globe that we have destroyed and or put in catastrophic Jeopardy. That's what would happen the degree to which we returned to become loving creatures, as are our Aboriginal sisters and brothers, and most human beings below the age of 2. Nothing else will save our species or the others. Ridiculous, yes. True? Absolutely. Everything else is delusion and delay delay.