***** Why am I so actually, physically, immobilized, paralyzed, these last 3 days? Why can't I move on with full support of the campaign Sanders, Spirit Sanders, Revolution Sanders? My body and soul are in such tormented limbo. This is far from the first time I have gone through such total limbo. There......

***** Why am I so actually, physically, immobilized, paralyzed, these last 3 days? Why can't I move on with full support of the campaign Sanders, Spirit Sanders, Revolution Sanders? My body and soul are in such tormented limbo.

This is far from the first time I have gone through such total limbo. There have been periods throughout my life when I could not yet align my nervous system and its needs with the outside world. I lacked the clarity of vision and understanding. And my nature is such that I am physically unable to move forward without that clear unifying clarity as to what the world needs me to attempt, and with that Clarity I cannot be stopped, except by a bullet. I think we all have that needed, but few are as debilitated as I when I lack the clarity. This has been true since my earliest memories.

Because of this severe characteristic I have learned not to fight with this, but rather to submit to the process of regaining Clarity, understanding, purpose, mission , as I am doing now.

It is an unsettling time. It is somewhat frightening. I never know if I'll emerge on the other side. Though so far, I always have. It must be very frightening for the caterpillar to enter the Cocoon having no idea except that it is disintegrating into nothingness , no idea what is on the other side.

I think what my nervous system has known is wrong even with the Great Justice campaign Sanders, is that Justice for the 10%, and we Americans are the 10% , is not enough to live for. Is not enough to fight for. It is only for the 90%, or the bottom 10%,  that life is worth fighting for.

I think my nervous system is facing that the American dream , heaven for me and mine, is death itself, is cancer, is killing everything, is Antichrist, is ungodly. No, I don't understand this in such intellectual terms but I use such intellectual terms to try and grasp what my nervous system is telling me which is much more Elemental.

When pressed very very hard Gandhi said that the force he was devoted to tapping into was, the love of a mother for her child. He did not say justice. He did not suggest that what the love of a mother equates to for her child is justice. That may be a piece, that may be a tiny piece, but it is not what the mother is concerned with. The mother wants a reduction of suffering for her child, and the increase in joy. Justice has some relationship to that but it is too distant. Justice does not equate to the love of a mother for her child, the force that I have worked to take over Within Me entirely for the joy of it,  the reign of my heart over me, the reign of my soul over me.

My body has been able to go out into the miserable, Hellish, Godless, Loveless world we have created for the love of the least of these.  It is telling me it is unable to do so  for justice for we  Americans, the world's 10%, which the man Sanders, good, Godly, righteous, just, honest is trying to lead us toward.

Nor is it even enough, so far, maybe this will change,  to lead us away from the huge increase in the speed with which the future tidal Wave of suffering descends upon the world as it will with the election of anyone besides Sanders.

Does it know, is it trying to tell me, my nervous system, that the impending tidal wave of accelerated suffering is unavoidable? Unavoidable because the American Empire must and will end. Mother nature in the form of environmental cataclysm is authoring it. Not to belittle Sanders, he is a miracle, but Sanders is not leading us to disassemble American Empire.

I don't know how much longer my nervous system will be wrestling with all this.  It has been having its way with me for  days now or even longer. Frequently I have thought I was out of the paralysis, moving on, only to find moments later I was not. This is a very difficult juncture for me to get past. It is also a very necessary thing for me to work through, for all of us to work through.

***** The key that I see, found by all the great enviable Souls throughout history, is rooting ones being in the task of reducing the suffering, and increasing the joy, of the neediest people. This saves one from a life of destructive addiction to pleasures, joylessness, mental masturbation.

***** The key that I see, found by all the great enviable Souls throughout history, is rooting ones being in the task of reducing the suffering, and increasing the joy, of the neediest people. This saves one from a life of destructive addiction to pleasures, joylessness, mental masturbation.

For the first time I'm seeing the rich, the 10%, as our mortal enemies.

For the first time I'm seeing the rich, the 10%, as our mortal enemies.

My nervous system, my body, kept me in bed for the last 2 days. I did not feel ill. Every time I tried to get .......

My nervous system, my body, kept me in bed for the last 2 days. I did not feel ill. Every time I tried to get out of bed, which was every 2 hours or so, my body said no, get back in bed. I think of the caterpillar, butterfly, cycle. It's much like much like that for me. The last month has been very stimulating, very different, democracy spring March for 10 days, two days impossible journey of cycling to get to Philadelphia in time , being publicly ridiculed in front of 450 people by the DC activist Club, being blocked by democracy spring from their Facebook page , Bernie's defeat in New York City, shockingly bad treatment at the hands of Bernie organizers , many stimulating meetings that I am now attending in the evening, a ridiculously high energy burn and output for me for the last four weeks or so.... tonight, I feel alive again for the first time in several days. Will be interesting to see what tomorrow brings. What I hope it brings is the physical and spiritual energy to be on the phone much of the day for Spirit Bernie. We'll see.

***** Nonviolence is paying for what you want with your own life, not the live of others. Nonviolence, AKA unviolence, antiviolence, loving.

***** Nonviolence is paying for what you want with your own life, not the live of others. Nonviolence, AKA unviolence, antiviolence, loving.

You don't do what's right because it works. You do what's right because it's right.

You don't do what's right because it works. You do what's right because it's right.

A new era of anti-occupation Judaism American Jews have long overwhelmingly supported an end to the occupation, but increasingly, we are building an organized critical mass who are also willing to push our institutions and politicians in the same direction. IfNotNow takes its Passover message of liberation to Hillel and AIPAC.

http://972mag.com/a-new-era-of-anti-occupation-judaism/118705/

***** I was wrong. This is so hard. I'm sorry. I'm having such trouble finding the path. My nervous system has been devoted for near all of my adult decades to the total turnaround of dire situations, 1st in Industry, and more recently relative to The Human Condition. Yet for years.......

***** I was wrong. This is so hard. I'm sorry. I'm having such trouble finding the path. My nervous system has been devoted for near all of my adult decades to the total turnaround of dire situations, 1st in Industry, and more recently relative to The Human Condition. Yet for years it has been inescapably clear to me that we are too far gone nationally, internationally, globally, ecologically to avoid near total catastrophe. And yet having seen this, having written of it, having for brief spurts lived it, my nervous system keeps spring back to its old measure of turning everything around for the better. Hence my horrible waffling recently on diving into Revolution Sanders, pulling out, diving in, pulling out..... I'm doing the best I can and it is not good enough at finding and Walking the right path for me. I wrote most recently of my horrible encounters with the Sanders Campaign which discouraged me from jumping in totally, or even at all, as I had expected to do. And yet now I expect to be jumping in totally. What has changed? Even days ago I was jumping in with the notion that Revolution Sanders was a significant promise. At least for the moment, my nervous system seems to have accepted that Revolution Sanders is not of significant promise because we Americans are just too selfish even those drawn to Revolution Sanders. But hearkening, yet again, for the moment at least, argh, to what Jane Goodall wrote recently, there is still much worth fighting for. Spirit Sanders I can get behind. He's a very good man. And whatever I can do to drave Spirit Sanders wherever it might go advances every cause of rescue that I am devoted to, Palestine, affordable housing, just wages, decent employment.... maybe I can sustain this footing for more than a few hours. Maybe not. I'll continue to do my best. But I expect to spend much of the rest of the day on the phone for campaign Sanders and shortly to donate what funds I can.

***** I find this totally and absolutely believable, tho of course I do not know if it is true. Totally and absolutely consistent with everything that I see in this creature Hillary Clinton.... 'Secret Service agents: Hillary is a nightmare to work with'

http://nypost.com/2015/10/02/secret-service-agents-hillary-is-a-nightmare-to-work-with/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=site%20buttons&utm_campaign=site%20buttons

***** gigantically useful article.. 'Netanyahu responds to Leahy with a strange string of lies. The prime minister shoots off a sharply worded letter to a senior American senator who dared question Israel’s human rights record. That Netanyahu thinks anyone reading it will do anything but howl is worrying sign about his judgement.'

http://972mag.com/netanyahu-responds-to-leahy-with-a-strange-string-of-lies/118268/

***** I find that wonder and awe are the ultimate Hallmarks of Life, as odd as that may seem. I find virtually no wonder and awe among the humanoids here in Washington DC, my.......

***** I find that wonder and awe are the ultimate Hallmarks of Life, as odd as that may seem. I find virtually no wonder and awe among the humanoids here in Washington DC, my sisters and brothers all. Certainly not among the intellectually, academically, over privileged. I wish I were kidding. I wish I were being cynical. And I find very little of it among my fellow humans here in the United States.

***** I think Sanders is a great and godly man. I was all in for revolution Sanders until something was smashed in my face. 'Without love, it is nothing.' Corinthians 13, or something. I just don't find it, in the campaign......

***** I think Sanders is a great and godly man. I was all in for revolution Sanders until something was smashed in my face. 'Without love, it is nothing.' Corinthians 13, or something. I just don't find it, in the campaign, in the supporters, in America. And I find the scripture absolutely true in my experience. Sanders has love. I find little of it in his campaign. A thirst for justice? Yes. Love? I don't see it. Just an anecdote, but did you know that according to a recent credible study that Millennials want Democratic socialism, they want Democratic socialism until they get their own job. Then, not so much. Indeed, without love, it is nothing. Therefore I don't support it. I'm very sad about this. It is certainly neither what I hoped or expected to find. LOL, yes, of course, in the other campaigns I find even infinitely less of it. But Zero, from 0, is still zero.

***** Staggeringly important.. ''Mocked and forgotten: who will speak for the American white working class?''

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/mar/24/white-working-class-issues-free-trade-american-south

***** must read must read must read.. The occupation of the American mind, documented

http://mondoweiss.net/2016/03/the-occupation-of-the-american-mind-documented/

A Muslim Man Was Ensnared in a Terror Plot by the NYPD—He Just Attempted Suicide

http://www.thenation.com/article/a-muslim-man-was-ensnared-in-a-terror-plot-by-the-nypd-he-just-attempted-suicide/

***** The Israeli Right's historic ties to European fascism The ruling Likud party welcomed to Israel members of the far-right Austrian Freedom Party, whose founders were high-ranking officials in the Third Reich. But the Israeli Right’s ties to fascist movements stretches back as far as the 1920s.

http://972mag.com/an-alliance-of-hate-the-israeli-rights-ties-to-european-facism/118580/

Video: Israelis feel the love for Donald Trump

http://mondoweiss.net/2016/04/video-israelis-feel-the-love-for-donald-trump/

***** The World Is Not Converting to Renewable Energy Fast Enough to Save It

http://m.truthdig.com/report/item/the_world_is_not_converting_to_renewable_energy_fast_enough_20160328

***** I think we need Armageddon, Global chemo, for any healthy cells to emerge alive. I don't like this thought. I did not seek this thought. I have worked to deny this thought. It is crashing down upon me. I was within moments.....

***** I think we need Armageddon, Global chemo, for any healthy cells to emerge alive. I don't like this thought. I did not seek this thought. I have worked to deny this thought. It is crashing down upon me. I was within moments of diving in with every second, and my every last cent, into the Sanders campaign. Strike one was the most extraordinary young lady from Philadelphia, brilliant, passionate, exploding with energy... that has had nothing but bad experience with the Sanders campaign organizers. Strike two was my 1 hour on a Sanders campaign new volunteers conference call at 9:30 night before last. I will never know if those conducting the call were actually computer droids. They were these insanely Pleasant, happy, vivacious, empty administrators. Strike three was going into the campaign office for Sanders in Washington DC and being greeted by an icy dead stare and voice from the Washington DC volunteer coordinator who made it explicit that I was interrupting her conference call simply by entering the office and she had absolutely no time for me. What fun if she knew that I had just transferred $2,000 into an account for a donation. Strike four was my experience with democracy spring. The most wonderful collection of people, not the least Disturbed at, vehemently denying of, the Discrimination shown the police in the two hour so-called nonviolence training, which was exactly violence training against the police, sanctioned, smug, sanctimonious , supremacist discrimination against our brothers and sisters in uniform. I'm sure that everyone wishes that taking a couple of aspirins would eradicate cancer cells from the body. But at least with current technology it took me months of near totally debilitating chemo including wearing a poison pump 2 days every two weeks to kill the stuff. I think it's going to take some number of years or Decades of a Trump or Cruz or Hillary Clinton in office, and a planet in unmistakable spiritual and physical hell, before even the best of my sisters and brothers realizes that the true Revolution is absolute lived solidarity, total 100% Brotherhood with everyone, especially our enemies, no matter the personal price to me and mine.

***** From Israeli jail, ‘nonviolent’ bid to ‘free Palestine’ takes shape. ***** *****

http://www.timesofisrael.com/barghouti-plans-nonviolent-bid-to-free-west-bank-east-jerusalem/

11 Bonhoeffer Quotes to Remember a Pastor Who Resisted Evil Unto Death

https://sojo.net/articles/11-bonhoeffer-quotes-remember-pastor-who-resisted-evil-unto-death

***** Nonviolence is a profoundly inadequate word for what it attempts to designate... Antiviolence, loving.....

***** Nonviolence is a profoundly inadequate word for what it attempts to designate. Unviolence is a word I coined years ago to try and better express. Just in recent days I've come to see that anti-violence is the much more correct word. Violence and anti-violence, loving, are the only two options. All forms of action for change are a form of one or the other of these.

Rolling nightmare of suicide attempts has First Nations declaring an emergency

http://m.truthdig.com/eartotheground/item/rolling_nightmare_of_suicide_leads_canadian_first_nation_to_declare_state_o

*&*** Chris Hedges. The Wages of Sin

http://m.truthdig.com/report/item/the_wages_of_sin_20160410

***** “There is no shame for anyone to work any job," says woman who scavenges Gaza's rubble

https://electronicintifada.net/content/photos-scavenging-live/16266

***** With great sadness and a heavy heart I have departed from engagement with the Democracyspring.org activities. The infinite ocean of inclusiveness and love that was tangible for the last 10 days with those magnificent, Godly, loving, 140 Marchers from all over the country, as far away as Guam, was replaced with objectification, generalization, hatred, bigotry, discrimination, violence, abuse this morning in the typical, appalling, hateful 2 hour Violence Training this morning.........

Everyone would have left and gone home if gays, trans, Hispanics, blacks, or any other liberal supported group was so objectified and dehumanized as was reflexively and self righteously done throughout the entirety of that 2 hour violence  training debacle to our men and women in uniform, our sisters and brothers in uniform, the police. With great sadness and a heavy heart I have departed from engagement with the Democracyspring.org activities. The infinite ocean of inclusiveness and love that was tangible for the last 10 days with those magnificent, Godly, loving, 140 Marchers from all over the country, as far away as Guam, was replaced with objectification, generalization, hatred, bigotry, discrimination, violence, abuse this morning in the typical, appalling, hateful 2 hour Violence Training that is always provided here in DC by the DC activist Club.  Same hateful,  arrogant,  elitist, supremacist, self righteous, self-serving, divisive, ignorant  lip-service liberal crap that I first saw 10 years ago upon arriving in DC. Everyone would have left and gone home if gays, trans, Hispanics, blacks, or any other liberal supported group was so objectified and dehumanized as was reflexively and self righteously done throughout the entirety of that 2 hour violence  training debacle to our men and women in uniform, our sisters and brothers in uniform, in the police. I don't do violence. I don't do abuse. I don't do dehumanization. And I don't do hipocricy. I will not participate in it. Gandhi rightly said it is as much a duty to not cooperate with violence as it is to avoid doing violence, and this 2-hour violence training was disgusting violence against the human Integrity of every one of our brothers and sisters in uniform, every bit as much as is the discrimination against any segment of our population with respect to their right to vote. Silence is complicity. The last 10 days march are the happiest days of my life. Never in my life have I remotely been associated with so many loving Souls at one time, in one place, in one group. I will forever be touched, and blessed by the experience. I do not leave those Souls. I leave the spirit of hatred, violence, abuse, discrimination, bigotry, rank evil that was formerly introduced into that much larger group. Be well friends. I'm with Gandhi. 'I consider myself a soldier, though a soldier of peace.' And, 'Give me a military person to fight alongside any day, don't give me any [liberal] cowards.'  How can these creatures conducting this training be so ignorant of the fact, so rigorously presented by Erica Chenoweth, in her copious research recently, that  nonviolence never works, until the men and women in uniform are converted to their side? Breathtaking, criminally negligent ignorance.

I was a Democrat. No longer a Democrat. They have redefined democracy to mean Neil liberal fascism. I am anti-democrat. I am independent, or Democratic Socialist. I loathe the Democratic party of 2016.

I was a Democrat. No longer a Democrat. They have redefined democracy to mean Neil liberal fascism. I am anti-democrat. I am independent, or Democratic Socialist. I loathe the Democratic party of 2016.

***** THIS. Read, repeat 2 times, repeat 2 times more. At least that's what I'm doing. ''The rise of American authoritarianism A niche group of political scientists may have uncovered what's driving Donald Trump's ascent. What they found has implications that go well beyond 2016'

http://www.vox.com/2016/3/1/11127424/trump-authoritarianism

Starting around 3 a.m., by 7 a.m. I had completed 30 miles. I couldn't sleep. An adrenaline High. I think that I may have just crashed. I'm.....

Starting around 3 a.m., by 7 a.m. I had completed 30 miles. I couldn't sleep. An adrenaline High. I think that I may have just crashed. I'm in the process of eating a large breakfast and trying to stay awake. I don't know if the breakfast will refresh me or if there's a long nap and store now. The first 30 miles involved roughly a thousand foot climb up and down. There's two thousand feet up and down ahead of me now. 30 miles done, 55 miles to Westchester. So far, it looks like mid to late afternoon maybe a possibility. But how my body is continuing to function I don't understand.

Ps.  well, I well, I don't understand what's going on with my physiology. I could barely stay awake while eating breakfast but then I was alive again. I think riding this thing is very stimulating and apparently I go into fairly severe calorie deficit and stuffing with calories brings me back. That's my theory. Maybe I'll be asleep 5 minutes from now but my senses so I'll be able  to pedal for 2 pedal for quite a while.

***** 60 miles, north of Baltimore more tired than in many many many many years.........

It was a really really really good day. Eventful, a really really really really good day. I'm sitting at an equivalent of Wawa, Royal Farms. I am so exhausted that there are no words. I've been peddling for 6 hours straight which is. 5 to 5 and a half hours more than any day in the last 7 months, on two and a half hours sleep which is about seven and a half hours left then I get each night.. 60 miles, versus the 6 miles a day I've been averaging for many months now. I don't know how this was possible, other than this will that has got a hold of me to do anything in my power to give creation a future. LOL. How it was possible I don't know. But now that I've stopped, well there are no words for how totally and completely exhausted, spent, I am. I expect I'll try and hide over in a corner of the parking lot, throw down my sleeping bag in a blanket animat and hope not to be disturbed until 4 in the morning and then to head out for Westchester.. So who knows if I'll be able to move tomorrow or the next day or the next day. But there's a possibility that I could make Westchester by tomorrow afternoon late. I'm just north of Baltimore. Mercifully much of the ride was on bike pads which I had at least one inch of clearance left to get this large vehicle through. And much of it on traffic Laden High Speed roads. Tomorrow will be the same.

I lost five hours of travel with that broken chain, which turned out LOL, such a comedy I can be, was not broken at all. I had good reason to think that it was, but it wasn't. So the bike shop that I waited to open at 10 o'clock, profoundly nice guys, we had great conversations, help me get it back on the cogs, they enjoyed driving the vehicle, had not seen one.

Aside from this insane will that has me by the throat, today's progress, a third of it, can be laid at the feet of the 12 mile an hour Tailwind that I had and full sun all day long, which combined with this really clever solar trailer that I have rigged gave me enough solar energy with my physical energy.

By the way, various software packages I have to say that I burned some where around 2000 calories today, and between a 20 ounce hot chocolate and 5 bags of Easter candy that was on sale here I'm just heading back. I have not eaten anything all day long, well, I had a couple of chocolate Bagels.

An hour ago I received a very appropriate phone call from one of the organizers of democracyspring.org. We spoke about their plans and my plans and it looks like tremendous Synergy, the solar vehicle and myself will be very welcome it appears. I suspected, but you never know, when it comes to me. Actually, if it turns out I am welcome that will be a first in 15 years, except for Thomas.

PS, looks like sleeping here is not an option, there's a Walmart 4 Miles up the road, maybe I can make that. That's always worked out in the past, but so has this. No, there is not money for a hotel although Lord knows my body is aching for a tub of hot water. That's money our children in Palestine needed.

Pps. Anybody know if the bike trail that goes over the interstate Bridge from Philadelphia to Cherry Hill New Jersey, if that is wide enough for a 52 inch wide solar bicycle. Almost all bike trails are, but if they're not, they're not.

Ppps.   As I was literally summoning the impossibility of standing , and going to make final preparations for the half-hour, Four Mile trip to Walmart, please let me sleep there, I looked out the window, there was an African-American man my age, back to me, reading the side of the vehicle with the image of Jesus, which talks about serving the global neediest from the soul in solidarity for the infinite peace of heart and joy of it. Stood there for 30 seconds reading it carefully. And turning his gaze to the empty line of fuel pumps, no one in the parking lot, gave a passionate, energetic, definitive thumbs-up , no one watching, gave a thumbs up.  and then he walked across the parking lot and disappeared. 

Pppps .   outside I was flattening the solar panel which at 3pm i angled on the trailer West, doubling or tripling its output, that is so satisfying and so effective. A car pulled up next to my space, a fellow probably about my age, very thin, white guy, not many teeth left, car on its last legs, his female companion, wife maybe, inside comma wonder and awe at the ll vehicle. Wonder and awe,, something that is totally totally totally totally totally devoid in Washington DC and most metropolitan areas. Wonder and awe at the vehicle. we had a nice chat. As he was pulling away I said, do you think they'll let me sleep in the parking lot at Walmart? Oh sure he said. And then he thought, and said, listen, I live 2 blocks down that street, he pointed, just passed my house, the last one on the Block, is an industrial park field with tractor trailers. It is totally safe, totally peaceful. I don't even lock my house. You know, he said excitedly, that's the place where the railroad trailer car blew up not too long ago. He didn't see the humor in it, I laughed. That's where I'll go. I'll be there in 10 minutes, lying down next to the vehicle in 30 minutes, and hope that I have a body when I wake up to an alarm at 4 in the morning to resume this trip.

Pppppps . Heading to the industrial park I noticed a fellow comma probably a drug dealer, had been standing on an empty corner for the several hours since I had been there, interested in the vehicle, would have seen me turn. And going 2 blocks back and seeing the industrial park, one Factory in it works Around the Clock and although dark and quiet there was no exit. So three and a half miles later I'm at the Walmart planning to set up for a couple of hours till things close down and then maybe another 3 hours lying next to the vehicle once my legs wake me up. The legs had some life in them. Maybe part of it was a serious calorie deficit.