4.01.2015
SPDF Day 30 vlog: It is not inconceivable that in 2-4 weeks time that I'll conclude that I have wielded the Death Fast for as is long as is constructive, this time....
SPDF Day 30: It is not inconceivable that in 2-4 weeks time that I'll conclude that I have wielded the Death Fast for as is long as is constructive, this time....
I am unable to put my finger exactly on what it is that I am sensing this morning. But I suspect that it is at least possible that by 2-4 weeks from now I will conclude that this death fast has provided as much benefit as it can provide at this time in 2015 and that I will be better able to serve Palestine by terminating this death fast rather than to let it run its full course.
There are a number of factors that I did not expect that have raised this prospect in my mind. I believe my expectations at the beginning of this I stated fairly clearly, I expected this death fast to have no impact until after it terminated me. That's how sick I thought we were. But I did not anticipate the aggressive , extreme , distancing that I have experience from the few people who had remained at all close to me in my life, with maybe two, possibly three exceptions . I take this as a sign that we are even more morbidly willing to amputate anything and everything close to us or far away so we can maintain our self centered , cancerous , world killing individual, self-centered existences .
Also I must conclude that it is possible that by now whatever Palestinian Diaspora in Washington, DC has some slight idea of what I have been doing in front of the capital and now up in front of NPR until Congress gets back next week . I must conclude that there is some slight awareness and that I must attribute some significance to the fact that there has been zero out-reach , zero support , zero encouragement , zero dialog . Zero visibility.
I wasn't smart enough , or maybe I realized it just wasn't my job , to take the time to anticipate how this community would react , but I do consider it now . And I consider that this is evidence of a soul-dead Palestinian Diaspora which I did not anticipate. It seems that they have been so infected with the western culture that they too feel that there is nothing that they would sacrifice , gladly, their own personal well being for .
This is a level of spiritual death in relevant communities beyond what I had anticipated .
If these perceptions hold and or develop within me then they place me where I wound up in the late or middle of my prior death fast , perceiving that I was conducting the death fast in a graveyard . Surely conducting any kind of action to inspire the action of others in a graveyard is not a good use of time .
This analogy does not hold in that there may well be an online of record of this death fast ,, which I am working diligently to provide, that could serve people in the future . But nevertheless I am seeing indications that it is absolutely a graveyard I am conducting this in beyond even what I had understood . And if these perceptions old within me then I may conclude that I can better serve Palestine by terminating the death fast before it terminates me , or, maybe not ,
I could terminate the death fast today based on these perceptions but I think that would be premature . My confidence that death fast is the only weapon to save Palestine , save any last remnants of democracy in America , stop ecocide ... are only strengthened by these perceptions .,honor an hour. But that my termination at this moment or 2 to 4 weeks from now would add any value to this current demonstration of the weapon has this morning arisen as a question in my mind.
I am unable to put my finger exactly on what it is that I am sensing this morning. But I suspect that it is at least possible that by 2-4 weeks from now I will conclude that this death fast has provided as much benefit as it can provide at this time in 2015 and that I will be better able to serve Palestine by terminating this death fast rather than to let it run its full course.
There are a number of factors that I did not expect that have raised this prospect in my mind. I believe my expectations at the beginning of this I stated fairly clearly, I expected this death fast to have no impact until after it terminated me. That's how sick I thought we were. But I did not anticipate the aggressive , extreme , distancing that I have experience from the few people who had remained at all close to me in my life, with maybe two, possibly three exceptions . I take this as a sign that we are even more morbidly willing to amputate anything and everything close to us or far away so we can maintain our self centered , cancerous , world killing individual, self-centered existences .
Also I must conclude that it is possible that by now whatever Palestinian Diaspora in Washington, DC has some slight idea of what I have been doing in front of the capital and now up in front of NPR until Congress gets back next week . I must conclude that there is some slight awareness and that I must attribute some significance to the fact that there has been zero out-reach , zero support , zero encouragement , zero dialog . Zero visibility.
I wasn't smart enough , or maybe I realized it just wasn't my job , to take the time to anticipate how this community would react , but I do consider it now . And I consider that this is evidence of a soul-dead Palestinian Diaspora which I did not anticipate. It seems that they have been so infected with the western culture that they too feel that there is nothing that they would sacrifice , gladly, their own personal well being for .
This is a level of spiritual death in relevant communities beyond what I had anticipated .
If these perceptions hold and or develop within me then they place me where I wound up in the late or middle of my prior death fast , perceiving that I was conducting the death fast in a graveyard . Surely conducting any kind of action to inspire the action of others in a graveyard is not a good use of time .
This analogy does not hold in that there may well be an online of record of this death fast ,, which I am working diligently to provide, that could serve people in the future . But nevertheless I am seeing indications that it is absolutely a graveyard I am conducting this in beyond even what I had understood . And if these perceptions old within me then I may conclude that I can better serve Palestine by terminating the death fast before it terminates me , or, maybe not ,
I could terminate the death fast today based on these perceptions but I think that would be premature . My confidence that death fast is the only weapon to save Palestine , save any last remnants of democracy in America , stop ecocide ... are only strengthened by these perceptions .,honor an hour. But that my termination at this moment or 2 to 4 weeks from now would add any value to this current demonstration of the weapon has this morning arisen as a question in my mind.
SPDF Day 30: With Netanyahu's reelection, the peace process is over and the pressure process must begin
With Netanyahu's reelection, the peace process is over and the pressure process must begin
If Israelis have the right to vote for permanent occupation, we in the Diaspora have the right to resist it.
http://www.haaretz.com/opinion/.premium-1.647682#.VQyutV17T54.facebook
3.31.2015
***** SPDF Day 29: From what I can see this Death Fast has cost me most of the few left who were close to me...
SPDF Day 29: From what I can see this Death Fast has cost me at least 4 of the last 6 folks that were remotely friends to me. As I posted earlier today there is a potential threat of me receiving a fate far worse than death - institutionalization. Neither of these things do I want. But they are way way way way down the list from my top priority, to give my life that maybe one Palestinian in the next 20 years might HAVE a life.
***** SPDF Day 29: The Jewish establishment has banned these four valiant Jews. Why?
The Jewish establishment has banned these four valiant Jews. Why? - See more at: http://mondoweiss.net/2015/03/establishment-banned-valiant#sthash.ySEZ07sW.dpuf
***** SPDF Day 29: MUST READ. 3 60's Jewish Activists discuss Israel Palesine... "...she sobbed for hours when she saw the daunting wall with the Israeli flag on it, and compared the wall around Bethlehem to the walls of concentration camps during the Holocaust...."
He said one of the most shocking scenes from his trip was when he
visited Bethlehem and saw the 26-foot-high guarded wall that is topped
with barbed wire and surrounds the city. Zellner said she sobbed for
hours when she saw the daunting wall with the Israeli flag on it, and
compared the wall around Bethlehem to the walls of concentration camps
during the Holocaust.
Link to article click here.
Link to article click here.
***** SPDF Day 29. URGENT - A fate infintely worse than death by Death Fast... Institutionalization... (detail)
I saw my Dr. this morning to review blood work that was done yesterday. She was happy to report that after two weeks of taking the potassium bills that she had prescribed my blood is now normal.
She has been my Dr. for three or four years. She is a graduate of Georgetown University, an elite university, and I have gained huge respect for her technical ability for her character and interpersonal skills. After she explained the results of my blood tests she expressed a concern with the fact that I was on day 29 of a death fast and willing to take it to the stand. I take her at her word which was that she was not questioning my mental health. But she was looking at the gravity of mine stamps and asked if I would be willing on her account to allow a professional associate of hers to evaluate my psychological health so that my Dr. Could have the confidence that she is not overlooking something. Again, I take her at her word.
The following is my follow-up letter to her. It should be obvious from the letter that it is clear to me that this evaluation did not go well and that the system, and even this beloved Dr., Are in a position to have a very adverse impact on my work and my life. This goes with the territory. It would be a much more horrible and to my life than a simple death from starvation in another month or two. But it would fulfill, that is, institutionalization, what fulfill the purpose of the death fast which has to sacrifice my life that a Palestinian, even one, might have life in the next 20 years. This, according to the law of social change, the law of sacrifice, the law of paying the price.
-------------------
Dear Doc,
You will recall that I left Howard U Hospital after initial treatment because, despite finding the staff there very kind and congenial, I did not find them competent. You did not disagree, you helped me get to Georgetown, and they seemed to be immensely more competent.
When you asked me today about mental health issues I found you very competent and your listening very competent. As I told an intern you had me speak to, once, when he asked me what one thing I found most important about your care I said, 'Her listening, her hearing, she deeply hears the entire patient."
Three years ago when I was on a death fast I was hospitalized at G.W.for severe dehydration. And they administered a psych eval when they heard of my fast. It went on for probably 45 minutes and I found the psychologist basically competent. I did not say agreeable, I said competent. She was substantially listening to, and hearing, what I had to say.
I do not need psychological help, I do not want psychological help, I was willing, I remain willing, for your benefit and your benefit alone, to talk to a psychologist, but one that is competent.
FYI, were you to have someone that wanted to evaluate me, I, all of me, is here at these two locations, truly:
I'm so grateful for all the good you have done me.
I am on your calendar for 8:00 AM on Tuesday for next weeks blood test results.
Your appreciative brother forever, no matter what. James
She has been my Dr. for three or four years. She is a graduate of Georgetown University, an elite university, and I have gained huge respect for her technical ability for her character and interpersonal skills. After she explained the results of my blood tests she expressed a concern with the fact that I was on day 29 of a death fast and willing to take it to the stand. I take her at her word which was that she was not questioning my mental health. But she was looking at the gravity of mine stamps and asked if I would be willing on her account to allow a professional associate of hers to evaluate my psychological health so that my Dr. Could have the confidence that she is not overlooking something. Again, I take her at her word.
The following is my follow-up letter to her. It should be obvious from the letter that it is clear to me that this evaluation did not go well and that the system, and even this beloved Dr., Are in a position to have a very adverse impact on my work and my life. This goes with the territory. It would be a much more horrible and to my life than a simple death from starvation in another month or two. But it would fulfill, that is, institutionalization, what fulfill the purpose of the death fast which has to sacrifice my life that a Palestinian, even one, might have life in the next 20 years. This, according to the law of social change, the law of sacrifice, the law of paying the price.
-------------------
Dear Doc,
FYI. No reply needed or expected.
I
wonder if your kind and instrumental help with my cancer that has
enabled me to be functional for so much longer than would otherwise have
been possible, I wonder if all your help will just keep me alive for a
long time in some institution? I'm sure that was not your intent but
unless care is taken that could theoretically be the result.
You will recall that I left Howard U Hospital after initial treatment because, despite finding the staff there very kind and congenial, I did not find them competent. You did not disagree, you helped me get to Georgetown, and they seemed to be immensely more competent.
When
I come across folks that seem to need expert Medical Care I directs
them not to your clinic, but to you personally. I have experienced some
of the other staff, they are very pleasant, for basic medicine I would
have no qualms, but for expert care I find you infinitely more
competent. I don't know all the staff, Doc X may be to your
level, maybe others.
When you asked me today about mental health issues I found you very competent and your listening very competent. As I told an intern you had me speak to, once, when he asked me what one thing I found most important about your care I said, 'Her listening, her hearing, she deeply hears the entire patient."
Three years ago when I was on a death fast I was hospitalized at G.W.for severe dehydration. And they administered a psych eval when they heard of my fast. It went on for probably 45 minutes and I found the psychologist basically competent. I did not say agreeable, I said competent. She was substantially listening to, and hearing, what I had to say.
I
found the psychologist today surprisingly pleasant throughout,
genuinely pleasant at the beginning, very intelligent, and quite
incompetent in what is the basis of any useful therapeutic encounter,
empathic listening. Several times she asked me questions that were
either intended to be disrespectful, and I do not think this was her
intent, but were very disrespectful in that they indicated that she was
not at all listening to, hearing, what I said. I did not say she wasn't
agreeing with what I said, as that it's not the point. She was asking
questions but she was not listening to what I said, superficial,
shallow, ignoring things that I said, dismissing what I said. I was
pleasant and respectful throughout, but there reached a point, after 20
minutes or so, where I explained to her that it seemed she was not
hearing what I said, that if she had so little respect for me and what I
had said to that point that I felt we were not using our time well.
And she indicated calmly that it was therefore appropriate to end our
session.
I do not need psychological help, I do not want psychological help, I was willing, I remain willing, for your benefit and your benefit alone, to talk to a psychologist, but one that is competent.
FYI, were you to have someone that wanted to evaluate me, I, all of me, is here at these two locations, truly:
Fact,
the psychologists of today's America would have infinitely less trouble
diagnosing me as insane than they would Abe Lincoln. Their job is to
adjust people to this sick society. Mine is to change a fundamentally,
pathologically, suicidally sick society. I pray you do not help them do
this to me, and unless you are careful, it could happen all to easily.
I am on your calendar for 8:00 AM on Tuesday for next weeks blood test results.
Your appreciative brother forever, no matter what. James
SPDF Day 29: I expect to reduce or eliminate all together posting on Facebook. As I have always found....
SPDF Day 29: I expect to reduce or eliminate all together posting on Facebook. As I have always found, and have found again, all on Facebook are passionately committed to unending lip service, and profoundly terrified of, and hostile, truly committed life service. I haven't the time to waste, and it is my duty to not enable such grotesque hypocrisy and cowardice. There is a horrible, wonderful, old saying - the chicken is involved, the pig is committed. There is no activist, never has been, ever will be, of any consequence what so ever, that is not committed exactly in this way. And all on Facebook are committed with every fiber of their being to not be committed to life service in this way.
3.30.2015
***** SPDF Day 28: The Liberal's Denial of duty, personal responsibility, the cowardice, that is destroying the world can best be seen.... ...
***** SPDF Day 28: The Liberal's Denial of duty, personal responsibility, the cowardice, that is destroying the world can best be seen....in these two works of fiction:
The wife in A Dry White Season, the wife of the lone white man of privilege that paid everything for Justice in South Africa.
The towns-folk in the Garry Cooper version of High Noon.
The wife in A Dry White Season, the wife of the lone white man of privilege that paid everything for Justice in South Africa.
The towns-folk in the Garry Cooper version of High Noon.
nd. SPDF Day 28: NPR Nauseating Pablum (Poison) Radio since noon. It is now 6pm, and too windy to hike back to my shelter. Soon I trust.
nd. SPDF Day 28: NPR Nauseating Pablum (Poison) Radio since noon. It is now 6pm, and too windy to hike back to my shelter. Soon I trust.
SPDF Day 28: VERY BAD NEWS - Hillary Clinton giving bl*w j*bs to Right Wing Israel ...
SPDF Day 28: VERY BAD - Hillary Clinton giving bl*w j*bs to Right Wing Israel opposing Obama's moves to hold them to law, protecting Palestine..... http://mondoweiss.net/2015/03/betrayed-foreign-yesterday
SPDF Day 28: "My god, what's wrong with your legs?...
SPDF Day 28: "My god, what's wrong with your legs? They shouldn't look like that, " said the medical technician at the pharmacy to which I had been sent . Presumably she has measured people , hundreds or thousands of people, for the support stockings that I was sent in to secure. See was horrified by what I saw. " I have not eaten for 28 days, I am fighting for the life of people in Palestine." "Bless your heart ," she said. I explained to her that my Dr. was fully aware and when one is not eating the blood protein content bottoms out and fluid is no longer effectively be held within the system, and pools in the lower legs and thighs.
I am now wearing the stockings as prescribed, during the day, and it should make walking a bit easier - swinging those extra pounds of fluid in the lower legs is tiring, and it is less distressing just due to the body distortion that is pretty weird. .
I am now wearing the stockings as prescribed, during the day, and it should make walking a bit easier - swinging those extra pounds of fluid in the lower legs is tiring, and it is less distressing just due to the body distortion that is pretty weird. .
Abbas is a traitor to Palestine, a traitor to humanity. Mahmoud Abbas calls for Arab military intervention against Hamas in Gaza
http://electronicintifada.net/blogs/ali-abunimah/mahmoud-abbas-calls-arab-military-intervention-against-hamas-gaza
nd. "You've got to learn to leave the table once love is no longer being served." Nina Simone
"You've got to learn to leave the table once love is no longer being served." Nina Simone
SPDF Day 28: Abbas is traitor, a Tory in the early Americas. Exclusive: In exchange for freed tax funds, PA won’t pursue Israel over settlements at ICC
http://www.jpost.com/Arab-Israeli-Conflict/In-exchange-for-freed-tax-funds-PA-wont-pursue-Israel-over-settlements-at-ICC-395505
3.29.2015
SPDF Day 27: White House since 9am...
SPDF Day 27: White House since 9am, until 5:30, to Free Palestine. If the weather, and my strength, hold, then most of Mon thru Fri I'll be in front of National Pablum Radio or the Washrag Propaganda 'news' organizations.
SPDF Day 27: “We are dying, and no one considers us worth their very lives to save...
On FB: "can I ask how are you doing old man"
My reply: "We are dying, and no one considers us worth their very lives to save."
FB: "James, if you die, we all lose. you better stay alive and make them suffer by looking at your tent everyday."
My reply: Until enough of us die, or offer that price, the slaughter in Palestine will continue. This is fact. This is the law of unviolent change. http://jesusgodgoodetcnjay.blogspot.com/2015/03/spdf-day-14-law-of-social-change-is-law.html Until the huge personal price to stop this is paid, or at least offered, it will not stop. This is how social change has always worked and will always work. I've just uploaded this post - http://jesusgodgoodetcnjay.blogspot.com/2015/03/spdf-day-27-person-is-neither-alive-nor.html . I will not have open debates on what I've written of extensively. If someone has enough interest and respect to state deep disagreements with my understanding of history and social change I'll be only too grateful. But views and opinions of such disinterest that they don't bother to hold themeselves to the standards of history and unviolent theory I have zero time nor patience for. I don't guide my own life by 'nothing,' 'opinion,' idle platitudes, and I'll not help enable others to do so, either.
My reply: "We are dying, and no one considers us worth their very lives to save."
FB: "James, if you die, we all lose. you better stay alive and make them suffer by looking at your tent everyday."
My reply: Until enough of us die, or offer that price, the slaughter in Palestine will continue. This is fact. This is the law of unviolent change. http://jesusgodgoodetcnjay.blogspot.com/2015/03/spdf-day-14-law-of-social-change-is-law.html Until the huge personal price to stop this is paid, or at least offered, it will not stop. This is how social change has always worked and will always work. I've just uploaded this post - http://jesusgodgoodetcnjay.blogspot.com/2015/03/spdf-day-27-person-is-neither-alive-nor.html . I will not have open debates on what I've written of extensively. If someone has enough interest and respect to state deep disagreements with my understanding of history and social change I'll be only too grateful. But views and opinions of such disinterest that they don't bother to hold themeselves to the standards of history and unviolent theory I have zero time nor patience for. I don't guide my own life by 'nothing,' 'opinion,' idle platitudes, and I'll not help enable others to do so, either.
***** vlog. SPDF Day 27: A PERSON IS NEITHER ALIVE, NOR AN ACTIVIST, WHO WOULD NOT EAGERLY GIVE THEIR LIFE FOR THE JUSTICE OF THEIR FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS...
Notice: Transcript is always slightly enhanced over the live video.
(If the shoe does not fit, don't wear it.) There is very very very good news. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You are not activists.
Alice Paul and the suffragists alongside her that would pay any price, were activists. There was no personal price that they would not pay to achieve their goal. They did not do what was convenient, they calculated what was necessary, and they paid the price.
That is anathema to todays so called activists. Utterly, explicitly, forecefully forbidden. Literally incomprehensible, today, in the US outside of the few fighting global warming by placing and keeping their very lives in the way of Ecocide. These exceptions prove the rule.
There are no activists today.
There were activists in Tahrir Square several years ago. There was no personal price they would not pay to achieve their goal. They expected it would cost their very lives these young people. Exactly because they were willing to pay that price the onlookers of the world could not stand to see that price exacted and rose and demanded of the leaders of the world that their lives be saved by meeting their demands. And they were.
There was only one group for whom Gandhi had utter contempt and that was those who would not happily risk or give their own lives when justice demanded it. I've written weeks ago of the law of social change which is the law of paying the price, the law of suffering. This is an immutable law. And yet for the last 40 or 50 years those that call themselves activists, the most educated in our society, almost always from affluent or relatively affluent backgrounds, are in ferocious, catatonic, psychotic, clinical denial of this law.
It is said that patriotism is the refuge of scoundrels. No, activism in the United States since the late sixties is the refuge of scoundrels. It is where one goes for zero personal accountability, the approval of one's peers in excoriating anyone and everyone except those in the same group, holding oneself and ones group to 0 standards, certainly not the historical standards of true activism, and certainly not the standards of results.
The Washington DC not many years ago there was Ngo after Ngo, activist after activist, rapturously involved in historically doomed,, tepid, comfortable, self serving 'activism' to supposedly Save Darfur.
Fact, the leading such group, "Save Darfur," was headed by a pleasant fellow. At times that I deemed it constructive and appropriate I clearly, honestly, forthrightly and vehimintly confronted the total hopelessness, the total inadequacy, of the strategies and tactics that were being attempted by this group.And indeed, as was patently obvious to anyone that WANTED to see the truth... they saved not one Darfuri, but they had a nice time, got lots of press, had nice confortable jobs for years, added to their resumes, got credit on their college degrees....
Several years later I saw the head of this preeminent Save Darfur group outside a supermarket. Actually, he saw me and wanted to speak. To his credit he said to me, why were you so hard on us? I said, just as when a Dr. hangs out a shingle proclaiming that they are a Dr., thereby setting life and death expectations for those who choose to enter, you did the same by calling your group Save Darfur. You set an expectation that impacted millions of people and yet you planned and attempted nothing that would ever come close to saving those people. This is a moral problem that I had a duty to those brothers and sisters in Darfur to attempt to confront. This is a moral failing I had a duty to you to try and bring to your clear attention, and I felt that you were not seeing it, as a result of active denial or otherwise.
Again, to his credit, he replied with astonishing candor, James, he said, I had no idea how to save the people in Darfur. I give him credit for the candor, but he still had no idea the horror of what he was saying. And I find him completely representative of the activism in the United States, or what considers itself activism, be it for stopping global warming, preserving some shred of democracy, or freeing the Palestinians while there is still a living Palestinian left.
The left in the United States adores excoriating the right in this country for their denial, especially in the subject area of global warming. The denial on the right is nothing compared to the denial on the left of their own irresponsibility, non-solidarity with those they purport to be fighting for, lip service, self serving efforts that have the certainty of not achieving the stated goals but only of serving the egos and other gratifications of the so called activists.
The left's denial near incomprehensible. This is not slender from me. This is not condemnation. It is an opportunity to seriously consider it, thereby it is an offer of liberation.
King, Gandhi, any and all of the true activists, in their own way lived, believed, and articulated that someone that would not risk their very life, happily, in the service of justice for their fellow human being, was already Dead. None of the 2015 activists that I see are anything of the sort.
None or few are hypocrites on purpose. They've been taught and learned well a lie. They've been taught a means of behavior that is not activism, but they've been told in word and deed for 40 or 50 years that it is.
If King, Gandhi, Jesus, and the like are correct that cowardice is living death, and by my life and words I believe that they are, then I am not slandering, I'm attempting as they did, to offer Life, to the activist, and to those they think they are serving..
A person is not living who is not ready to give their life for the justice of their fellow human beings, to paraphrase Dr. King.
SPDF Day 27 vid: "I think that anyone that is a moderate in the face of violated liberty… is a sinner.” Malcom X.....
SPDF Day 27: "I think that anyone that is a moderate in face of violated liberty... is a sinner." Malcom X. Me too.
3.28.2015
SPDF Day 26: Hunger pangs, weakness...
SPDF Day 26: Hunger pangs, weakness, fatigue... are driving me mildly insane. The craving of taste. The craving of consumption. The craving of a strong body and full eyesight and mental faculties. The craving of life. LOL. But I crave the Life of Palestines, more.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)