Never, until several months ago, have I found the
scripture about blessed is the woman without child, in the end of times,
never have I found it other than horrible. But now, in recent months, it
makes perfect sense.
And your exposition in your email reply is very kind and helpful. I'm glad for the openness
of JW's on this - not having kids in this increasingly horrible, coming
to an end, world.
As to how I am feeling? I'm in the pit of despair; sheer terror for all of us.
Deepest depression. My world view is shattered, and my Very Life IS acting
from a whole, True, world view.
LOL. Dearest JW brother, take no hope from this, as a kindly brother,
and JW, you would otherwise. Never will I believe in the Creator
as other than 'as if' She / He / It were more
than a product of our imagination. Never
will I believe it True that the Bible is more than books (there are many versions
by the thousands), written by 10's of thousands of fallible men, some Evil, some Godly.
And, less than ever will I try to convince others of these views of mine because
the comfort that the beliefs such as yours, opposite mine, on this subject,
can bring to others, on the convulsively sinking Titanic, can be very, very
real, and I'm all for comforting others, at this point.
But no comfort for me of that sort will ever be possible. I'm not opposed
to it, as much as I was. I'm incapable of it. And I'm totally at peace with that.
It is NOT the Truth that I see, and I hold nothing higher than the Truth, as
I see it, moment to moment.
For at least several years now, I've believed that my Call was in both of two
directions -
1. Staving off co2 Armageddon, and
2. Preaching the scholarly,
historical Jesus teaching - Universal Family, Devotion to the
Destitute,
being Of the Destitute - the creation of Heaven on Earth.
#1 seems finally, utterly destroyed for me - I can see the icebergs (global Corp
Fascism, Ecocide) and it is too late to turn the Titanic. We're going down.
But, it will take several generations, maybe more, maybe less.
The Jesus I know from historical scholarship, and my own heart since a
young child, was about bringing Heaven to Earth, Joy, despite the material
hell that exists on earth, for most - by refusal to be anything but Godly -
Loving, Universal Family, Destitute With the Destitute - virtue IS it's own,
ultimate Reward. It IS.
So, with my view that Armageddon is on us, I expect, as I climb out in coming weeks from
under this crushing depression, to resume my study of the Scholarship
on Jesus, and the Birth of Christianity - I find that Dominick Crossan speaks
well enough for all the leading edge, main
stream Jesus Scholarship. Agonizingly
rigorous in his scholarship, but I plow through it all.
Jesus was destitute, among the destitute of the Eastern Mediterranean, being
ground to death, mercilessly, under the heal of the Roman Empire, and secondarily by the
elitist, un-Godly 'church' of the day, Judaism, fundamental subjugation of women,
and of children, and patronage. He did not direct his own efforts,
or those of others at changing any of these institutions at large. I'd say, he viewed them
as the Plague - incurable on the large scale, and not going away, and ultimately
extinguishing everything; which locally they did after 70 years, destroying the Jewish state; and
now as being completed on a global scale.
But the existence of these Plagues left the question -
Can one anyway live Heaven on Earth, Creator's Kingdom, on Earth, in this
life - Despite these Plagues? And Jesus answer was a
resounding YES - BE
UNIVERSAL FAMILY TO
THE DESTITUTE. It was, and is, clear to me that if there is any way, it is the
way the HISTORICAL Jesus saw, long before Paul, John, Mark, Luke... ever
added all the stuff they put in His mouth (some of it quite good), much of
it very Deadly.
On top of that, whether through visionary brilliance, good instinct, or good luck,
or some combination, there are thousands of people that have been pioneering
a life outside of the Evil Fascist Empire - off grid, sustainable living, intentional
community... and many other titles I don't even know yet.
I must learn about this. I am a Visionary Leader, a Profit, tho as yet, a totally
impotent one, and I have no guess of this changing (either). But, that is what I am, and
I'm called to study and to some degree master, and see beyond, all the best thinking that relates
to the above. I suspect I'll be starting a new blog as repository for what I learn,
as a way of
sharing - Genesis Living, or something like that - Living that Gives
Life, vs what I was brought up to, Empire Living, that destroys life - cancer.
It will be life under sentence of the Plagues (fascism, ecocide), incurable, grim, but Joyful
I think is possible too.
Oh, and I think that central to my work will be advocating for "having no babies."
I expect that part of my work will call me back to a vigil in front of the poster boy
for man-made ecocide, the Canadian Embassy. For now, at least, tho, I don't
expect that to be 24/7 as it was. If I can save even one child from being born
into this earthly Hell we're finalizing, it would be worth my life.
There may be a barely tolerable homeless shelter
arrangement, where on a men's over 50 floor, I can secure a bunk bed and locker.
It is in the shelter where I've been in the Infirmary. That way I can be a little more
protective of my physical life, one meal a day, fairly healthy, and protect the small
financial resource I can begin to access, when I want, Social
Security. I don't
want it for myself. I can't imagine spending it on myself. But at some point
sooner, or later, I want it for some combination of:
1. Supporting my biological offspring through these end time that I didn't see
I was bringing them into, but I did none the less;
2. Supporting Genesis Living pioneers;
3. Supporting friends that are already struggling too much with these end times.
I expect it to get much more dicey for we homeless, we destitute, in just a few
more years, even here in DC. Already our status is being criminalized around
the country - feeding us is being made illegal, rapidly; we're being bussed out
of states, thrown in prison, beaten to death by police.... And the shelter I mentioned
is on a prime bit of real estate and is likely to be closed and sold
to the elites within 4 years or less. But for now, being there is my best guess. I
expect I'll try it. If not, back on the streets.
I
Live for Community, always have, and with a few, brief exceptions since I lived with my dad
as a kid, I've had none. And I expect to die without any. This hurts. Oh well.
It is what it is. I do what people need of me, not what they Want of me. Consequently,
I am unWanted. A price I'll always be willing to pay.
My Loving to you both
Dr. King,
