***** (!!! LAST UPDATE 1PM EASTERN. !!!) WILL NO ONE DIE FOR A FUTURE??? 'I'm not yet asking your consultation....' Loving

 [[[ For Creation's sake,

1. pour deeply, and courageously through this dialog,

2. SHARE WITH ANYONE AND EVERYONE THAT YOU THINK SHOULD SEE IT,

3. HURRY. ]]]


{{{ SEE REPLY, AND REPLY, BELOW; AND NEW REPLY, REPLY BELOW}}}}

CRUCIAL DIALOG.  CRUCIAL TO HUMANITY - THIS IS THE CRUX. UNLESS THIS GET'S RESOLVED, ALL EFFORTS ARE A HORRIBLE WASTE.

-----------

I'm not yet asking your consultation....

But can I leave this fight to Stop Ecocide, can I leave this life, not knowing if

there is anyone, ANYONE, that isn't YEARNING to Pay the Full Price of their Life

to Stop Ecocide????

Now, the following is an unassailable Truth for me, based on my reading, study,

practice, common sense...

'NO ONE CAN SAY THAT ECOCIDE CAN'T BE STOPPED!!!! NO ONE!!!!

ALL THAT CAN BE SAID IS THAT PEOPLE ARE UNWILLING TO PAY THE PERSONAL PRICE TO DO SO.'

Loving

I'm not even asking you if you think the above is incorrect.

But there could come that time when I'll ask you:

*  Isn't the above OBVIOUSLY correct?

*  Do you know anyone that might be YEARNING to pay the price of their life if it could Stop Ecocide

*  HOW MIGHT I BEST FIND AND CONNECT WITH SUCH PEOPLE?

*  How could we begin to dialog, search, explore the When, Where, How, Who, How Many...???

*  How could the opportunity be spread?

*  How could we grow, together.

REPLY  ----

"[Loving],I know you're not asking this yet but I want to tell you that there are a lot of people putting themselves

at risk.  They might not be thinking--and most aren't--that their particular action that day will cost them their 

life, but they go into an action with great risk, great courage.  We know the press.  They dont know

everything or write everything.  There are people in other countries who never get covered on their actions. 

So it is a bit premature--and a bit arrogant, really--to think that you hold the goal post of all goal posts. 

There are lots of people showing moral courage and they give me hope.  Brian just did an action that

could have cost him his life.  Some of these kids in Texas are sitting in trees so high that one wrong

move could have sent them plummenting to their death.  The difference between you and them is that

they don't want to die and are risking but you WANT to die and are risking.  I dont know why you want to

die. Why you insist on others dying.  You will have to tell me one day....

REPLY -----

Oh, dearest, most admired friend, Warrior,

1.  OK, you've started it now.  AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT!  Tho, unless those emerge that

YEARN to explore this, I'll cease now. I'm sure of it.

2.  I think my sincere, thoughtful, passionate reply obligates you to consider what I've just said below, really carefully, as I think

you'll have to admit, from the following, that I've really deeply considered what you've just said,

and,

3.  Please don't let this continue to go personal.  I'm not attacking anyone with my original email below.  I'm not holding

myself up. I'm sure I'm not.  Do you really think so?  Really?  I want to die?  Wouldn't I

be dead by now if that were the case?  Who do I chase around and denegrate???  I don't!  I communicted

to a few trusted friends.  I'm attacked, rebuked for that?  Why???  (rhetorical.  Plse, let's move on.)

4.  Or not. Not because of this email, for which I'm immensely gratful, but due to years of experince

that activism is a matter of satisfying personal wants, within personal limits, and is NOT about winning,

in time, no matter what the cost.  If in this last efforts such as the igniting email here, I'm done. I'll

spend the rest if my time in trying to make lifeboats of information, example, history... for the Spirital

salvation of some of the survivors of the Hell our selfishness, our limits as to what this is worth to us,

are with absolute certainty - dooming.

5. I'm obviously upset, in the following.  That is not bad!  If one is not upset with what is at stake,

with zero chance of success so far... one is dead!  I'm not dead.  Yes, I'm hurt!  Who the frick cares?

Not me!!!! Bring it on!  (((HUGS)))

----

My interest is not in me, it is in SUFFICIENT Strategy, PLAN, APPROACH, NOW, IN TIME, NOT

WHEN IT IS TOO LATE, THE CLOCK RUN OUT, THE WAR LOST, CREATION LOST, ECOCIDE UNSTOPPABLE. 

My interest is NOT IN 'TRYING,' BUT IN ACTUALLY STOPPING ECOCIDE.  POSTERITY DOES NOT

NEED US TO TRY!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY NEED US TO SUCCEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AND WE ARE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT COULD BE LESS PERSONAL THAN THAT??? 

I GET NO SATISFACTION, NO ABSOLUTION, NO 'CREDIT' FOR TRYING, AND I GIVE

NO CREDIT FOR 'TRYING (AND NOR DO I GO AROUND DENIGRATING OTHERS.  DO I???? THIS IS REALLY

UNFAIR TO TURN THIS PERSONAL ON ME.  INCORRECT. UNFAIR. WRONG.  ISN'T IT????) 

In fact what is so offensive

about me is that I refuse to make this personal, to me, or anyone showing any goodness on

this issue.  It isn't about me. It isn't about

how much I try, or how hard others try, per se, how much I or others pay, or don't pay;

per se - IT IS ABOUT ARE WE WINNING, IN TIME!!!! ISN'T THAT WHAT WE ALL SHOULD

BE OBSESSED WITH???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

ARE WE IN THIS JUST TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT OURSELVES FOR TRYING???? IN TRUTH, NEAR ALL

EVIDENCE WOULD SAY YES!!!!!  AND THERE IS NO HOPE OF WINNING UNTIL THIS CHANGES.

IS THIS ALL ABOUT SELF-CENTERED GRATIFICATION THAT 'WELL, IT TRIED,' FOREVER????

IS IT ABOUT 'ACTING OUT' OUR RAGE????  THAT IS NOT WHAT POSTERITY NEEDS FROM US!!!!

FOR ME IT IS ABOUT - ARE WE STOPPING ECOCIDE, IN TIME!!!  AND THE ANSWER IS ABSOLUTELY,

TOTALLY, COMPLETELY, INARGUABLY  NO!!!!!!  WE ARE NOT.  NOT A PRAYER ON THE HORIZON.

SHOULDN'T ALL FOCUS ON THAT, WINNING, NOW, BEFORE IT IS UTTERLY TOO LATE?????

Another thing that makes me so offensive is that I refuse to disempower myself or others

of good will by blaming - the establishment, fossil industry, gov, pres - LARGELY BECAUSE

THAT DISEMPOWERS THE ONLY PLACE THAT HOPE RESIDES:

*  THE BAD GUYS ARE NOT GOING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM.

*  ONLY THE GOOD GUYS, AMONG WHOM I TRY TO BELONG, HAVE ANY HOPE OF DOING IT.

To your questions, about the centrality of 'Death' in my thinking -

If one pays $1, it is more than 10 cents, less than $2.  That is really simple, and inarguable.

If one pays $10, but pays it $1 a month, it does not reach $10 until the 10th month,

but if they pay it all at once then it is immediately $10, and if the price of what

they want, they get their goal right away, instead of waiting 10 months, that might

be too late.

Women suffragists worked hard - that was in fact, paying a price.  Some went to jail.

That was in Fact paying, and registering as, paying a Higher price.  Some went

over and over.  Some endured, over and over, 3x a day force feeding, through the nose,

day after day, jailing after jailing.  Then Inez Miholland worked herself to death....

each was an acceration, increase... in PAYING THE PRICE THAT IT ULTIMATELY

WAS GOING TO TAKE TO GET WOMEN THE RIGHT TO VOTE.

The suffrage establishement was horrified at what Alice Paul and sisters were doing -

THEY DID NOT WANT SUCH TERRIBLE PRICE TO BE PAID - CUZ THEY DIDN'T

WANT TO FACE, AND BE PERSONALLY BE DRAWN IN.  Alice and her sister proceeded

anyway, drawing infinite rebuke - and accelerated Suffrage by months, years,

decades???? 

IF BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE, ONE WANTS AN OBJECTIVE, GOAL,

OUTCOME.., OR COMES TO WANT AN OBJECTIVE,

SO MUCH, THAT THEY WOULD PAY ANY PRICE, AND THE OTHER PERSON, EVEN

IF INFINITELY BETTER SKILLED, RESOURCED, WANTS TO PAY MUCH LESS... 

I'VE LEARNED TO BET ON THE ONE

THAT WOULD PAY ANY PRICE.  THEY MAY OR NOT HAVE TO PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE-

BUT IF THEY HAVE REACHED THE POINT THAT THEY WANT SOMETHING THAT BAD, THAT THEY WOULD -

THEY PERSONALLY BECOME AN ULTIMATE FORCE, AND OFTEN, INFUSE THAT FORCE IN

OTHERS, IGNITE THEM, INSPIRE THEM, BRING THEM ON FIRE!!!!. 

FOR SUCH PEOPLE ONLY, THAT PAY, THAT OFFER, THAT JOYFULLY WOULD PAY,

THE ULTIMATE PRICE FOR A WORTHY GOAL...-

THE CREATOR, THE BLACK ROCK... COMES ON

THEIR SIDE!!!  ONLY THEN!!!!!! WHO CAN ARGUE THIS??? THIS IS NOT CLEVER ON MY PART!!!!

I've studied, rigorously, as you know, historical Unviolent Actions, for years, and I'm

just going through another immersion, and I experience going to a whole new level in

terms of Strategic insight - (why so slow????  Argh!)

You know, in the military, there are probably politics, jealosies, feelings get hurt,

people lose sight of the goal, winning, and focus on themselves, whatever, but when

someone is searching, in the pentagon, MI Complex, for a more powerful weapon, a better stragegy, a more

powerful, more accelerated way, A MORE CERTAIN SUCCESS... do they come under attack, suspicion, do they

'hurt' others in the effort?  Well, basically, NO.  IT IS THEIR JOB TO RELENTLESSLY

SEARCH FOR:

* CERTAINTY OF WIN,

* MORE FORCE,

* NEW INSIGHTS,

* NEW WAYS....  THIS IS WHAT THEY  ALWAYS DO!!!! 

BUT ALMOST NEVER IN 'ACTIVISM.'  AND WE WONDER WHY WE LOSE?!?!?!!?

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO STOP ECOCIDE IN TIME?  NO, YOU DO NOT!!!  Neither do I. 

AND NEITHER OF US KNOWS WHO DOES??? THAT BOTHERS ME.  SHOULDN'T

THAT BOTHER ME????????????????????????????????????????????????????  WHAT KIND

OF A CREATURE WOULD I BE IF I WERE NOT CONSTANTLY...

1. FACING THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW YET; I'M A FAILURE SO FAR; I'M NOT INFORMED

ENOUGH, TRYING HARD ENOUGH, PAY THE SUFFICIENT PRICE YET, IN THE RIGHT WAY,

AT THE RIGHT TIME...;

2. FACING THAT I SEE THIS DEADLY LACK... AS MY/OUR FAILING, BECAUSE THERE

ARE SO MANY ELEMENTS  TO STOP ECOCIDE ALREADY IN PLACE - THAT BY ALL HISTORICAL

MEASURE WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO STOP THIS.

Why my fascination with Death????  My Goodness, it is so simple.  DEATH IS THE ULTIMATE

PRICE!   THIS IS NO MORE ODD THAN TRUMP BEING FASCINATED WITH THE NEXT

$1 TRILLION!!!  OR THE PENTAGON BEING FASCINATED WITH THE NEXT GENERATION

BUNKER-BUSTER, OR NUC!!!!!

Why Donald Trump's fascination with $200 billion vs $100 billion???

***** !!!!!!  ******....

Every movement I study, each new one for me, all the others, were essentially a matter

of PAYING THE EVENTUALLY SUFFICIENT PRICE to ignite previously sleeping, dead, or oppositional Souls. 

AND AS SOON AS THE AWFUL PRICE WAS ULTIMATELY PAID, IT BECAME A PRICE

THAT COULD NOT BE WITHSTOOD.  THINGS, PEOPLE, COULD NOT RESIST CHANGING. THEY

COULDN'T STAND THE PRICE - ANY MORE!!!!!!!

It is almost straight math, STRAIGHT ACCOUNTING.  WHEN THE SUFFICIENT PRICE IS FINALLY 

PAID IN FULL, THAT THE ONLOOKERS, OTHER POTENTIAL FIGHTERS, AND EVEN OPPOSITION,

CAN NO LONGER BEAR - THE WIN HAPPENS, THE CHANGE HAPPENS!!!!! THIS IS WONDERFUL TO

UNDERSTAND, TO DISCOVER!!!!

THIS CLARITY FOR ME IS A MISSIVE BREAKTHRU IN RECENT WEEKS.

After enough times, days, weeks, years of women in the

suffrage movement paying un-bearable price - jailings, force feedings, beatings,

disgrace, ostracism, public ridicule, indignities - the onlookers, opposition,

Anti-aparthied, suffrage, civil rights, gay rights, gun control, stopping ecocide - it is basically

an Accounting Problem, and Price Problem.

And understanding that, seeing that now - I WANT TO UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:

1. WHAT IS THE SUFFICIENT PERSONAL PRICE - UNVIOLENT ACTION - VIOLENT ACTION LOOKS

TO EXACT THE PRICE FROM OTHERS - THE OPPOSITION.

2. WHEN DOES IT NEED TO BE PAID IN FULL BY - 2013.  If later, BEST CASE it is economic genocide

forever; more likely it is Ecocide, forever.

3.  What is the payment that can be IN FULL, fast enough? 

4.  How current, ongoing efforts (tree sitters, other efforts) be better added to become part of

the PAID IN FULL. HOW CAN THEY BE MODIFIED, ADDED TO, AMPLIFIED... THAT THEY

BECOME MORE FULL PAYMENT, FASTER.. IN TIME.....

And, I can't figure this out, in time, by myself, and if I could, which I can't, then I figure it out,

alone, and it, is, too, late. 

---------- REPLY --------------

Hey Loving, I am responding to this one statement you said:  "But can I leave this fight to Stop Ecocide, can I leave this life, not knowing if there is anyone, ANYONE, that isn't YEARNING to Pay the Full Price of their Life to Stop Ecocide????

Those words "YEARNING to Pay the Full Price" is a little troubling.   Yearning is wanting in my book.  And yep, I could be wrong but i think you have been wanting to die on your actions for a long time.

 Loving, I don't think there are a lot of people who are yearning to die.  I think our basic instincts are to live. You are going to have to look in some pretty dark places before you find people yearning to pay full price.  And I think even the military (remember, I was once in the Army as a medic) if they found a combatant yearning to pay the full price, they would pull that solider out.  My two cents and if that takes me off your warrior list then take me off.

--------- REPLY FROM LOVING (AND MLK JR) ----------

MLK Jr, mid 1950's, paraphrase:  'Now, you might not have much money, you might not have an education, you might not be able to read and write... BUT YOU HAVE THE CAPACITY TO DIE...."

YES, MY MOST RESPECTED, MOST ESTEEMED, MOST ADMIRED FRIEND  - ALL I HAVE TO PAY, IS MY LIFE - I HAVEN'T THE ARMAMENTS NECESSARY TO STOP ECOCIDE IN TIME, I HAVEN'T THE CONNECTIONS, I HAVEN'T THE CO-FIGHTERS, I HAVEN'T THE TIME, I HAVEN'T THE LEARNING, THE CHARISM, THE STATURE, THE PLATFORM.

THE ONLY THING I HAVE OF VALUE, THE COULD BE PART OF ENOUGH, IS MY LIFE.

YES, I YEARN TO SEE THE WAY THAT I CAN SPEND THE ONLY THING OF VALUE TO STOP GENOCIDE.

I'D FIND ANYTHING LESS IN MYSELF TO INSANITY, INHUMANITY, VIOLENCE, SICKNESS... STATUS QUO.

---------------

Huh?  There is nothing you can do to take yourself off that list. Your Life, your Being, puts you on.

But, as you've found before, it is NOT my intent to harass, or inflict pain for no reason.

Well, no question you are being honest but that doesn't mean you are being correct.

John Q was YEARNING for his Life to be enough to save his son.

Alice Paul was YEARNING that she could pay, could BE the price of suffrage.  Inez Milholland DID,

WILLINGLY, pay the price of her life, BY CHOICE.  This is all obvious.  She, at every breath,

paid the maximum she could pay.  Was her goal to pay????  Her goal was to secure suffrage.

Diane Wilson paid what to near all was the price of her life - her boat.  That SHE might

say different does not mean that the masses said she was crazy to WANT to pay

such a price, to WANT THAT TO BE ENOUGH TO SAVE HER BAY, AND BAY FAMILY.

Yes, if I am to remain isolated, if there is to be no dialog, anywhere, worthy of

the future, and it is on the basis of what I'm asserting, I can and will rest at peace with that.

Yes, IF THERE IS NO ONE YEARNING, as there ABSOLUTELY seems not to be, THAT THE MAXIMUM

THEY HAVE TO PAY, THEIR LIFE, IN WHAT OBVIOUSLY WILL COST A TERRIBLE PRICE, if there is no

one YEARNING THAT THE MAXIMUM THEY CAN PAY,

THEIR LIFE, - WILL BE ENOUGH TO WORK THE MIRACLE, if that is the

basis for my isolation, the non-existance of REMOTELY serious dialog to stop ecocide, well,

that's pretty much what I've concluded, BECOME CLEAR AND CERTAIN ON, and the reason

I even considered one last probe to find out. 

Well, I've put the probe out there, and if it draws no YEARNERS TO BE THE SUFFIENT

PRICE OF A HUMAN FUTURE, we're done, the future is done.  And this is what I suspect

is true.

NOTHING IMPORTANT IN HUMAN HISTORY HAS COME FROM FOLKS THAT PLACED THEIR

PULSE AT HIGHEST VALUE.

EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING IMPORTANT IN HUMAN HISTORY HAS COME EXACTLY FROM THOSE THAT

PLACED SOMETHING(S) AT HIGHER VALUE THAN THEIR PULSE, THEIR AVATAR.  THIS

CANNOT BE DISPUTED, BUT IT IS ALWAYS DISPUTED.  "THAT THEIR 'WORDS' DID

NOT STATE IT AS 'YEARNING TO BUY THE FUTURE WITH THEIR LIFE" IS A TRIVIALITY.

"Alice Paul just wants to be a Martyr!!!" THIS WAS SLANDERED OVER AND OVER ABOUT

HER, MOSTLY FROM WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN HER ALLIES. 

No, Alice Paul just wanted suffrage, AND THAT SHE HAD THE PRICE TO PAY FOR IT, NOW,

regardless of what everyone said, especially those that should have been her

closest allies. 

NOTHING GREAT IS PURCHASED...

1.  AT LESS THAN AN AWFUL, AWFUL, AWFUL PRICE.

2.  BY THOSE GOING IN WITH A MAXIMUM PRICE IN MIND THAT THEY WILL PAY.

"Oh, I want to Stop Ecocide,"  AS LONG AS IT DOES NOT COST ME TOO MUCH!

(This will be the Epitaph of all humanity.  Yes.)

ylb forever, but NOT to be your tormentor, forever 

REPLY-----------------------

yearning and willing are two different words.  diane was willing to sink her boat, but she was not yearning.  It was hard hard to sink that boat.  maybe that was why it was so important.  she loved that boat and sunk it.  We can live life, love life, and still put ourself out there.  That is important i think.  Maybe youre just using the wrong word.  i think there are many many people willing to risk.  you can rest easy if that is the word.  but yearning?  the only ones who might be yearning are religious zealots and ive seen them up close seeing folks raised by them.  those ones with a bible in one hand and a stick of dynamite in the other.  they're yearning for life on the other shore.  aka death.  i think you are very harsh with yourself, Loving. very harsh.  it worries me so.  you are such a good man but you put such tight armor around yourself.  you are a hard man to know!!!! 

------------------- Loving's Reply

Oh Creator, I Love you. I'm sooooo unspeakably grateful for you.  Before, and after,

the day our communication ever ends.  Unconditional - cept, YOU are the condition - your Being.

It is 90% the 'word,' and it has always been this between you and me beloved friend.

You and I are children of the Black Rock, and we've embraced this, every breath,

while others flee it, so tragic.  We are of the same truth, but massively different

background and language.  We must, must, must keep this in mind, every moment

we choose to be in dialog.

I DON'T WANT TO DIE.  I DON'T WANT TO DIE.  I DON'T WANT TO DIE!  I'VE NEVER SAID

ANYTHING MORE TRUE.

ALL I HAVE TO PAY IS MY LIFE TO STOP ECOCIDE, IN TIME - I WANT THAT TO BE ENOUGH TO STOP ECOCIDE.

I'VE NEVER SAID ANYTHING MORE TRUE.

TRUMP DOESN'T WANT TO WORK!  BUT SOMETIMES HE, THE SLIME, HOPES THAT,

YEARNS THAT, IF HE WORKS, PAYS HIS LIFE, HIS TIME, HIS STRENGTH... WITH EVERY OUNCE OF STRENGTH, THAT SOMETHING

HE VALUES MORE WILL COME.

I'm not, NOT, not, trying to win the argument on the word.  Please, PLEASE look

past my word, for what I mean.

YLB, forever, no matter what 

------------ REPLY -------------

well, I just think we're miscommunicating, Loving.  You are yearning for meaning.  I am yearning for meaning too.  That I desire.  that i want.  I  yearn with all my being for meaning.  And I am willing to pay the price to that meaning.  but i am not yearning to pay the price...a little difference. excuse me if i misunderstand, but i feel that you are yearning to pay the price and that is the most meaningful thing.  I am yearning for meaning and willing to pay the price.  some subtlety there somewhere. Maybe that is why you were such a good company owner. you gave your all.  lordy, you are INTENSE!

------------ LOVING's Reply ------------

 

Lordy, I am intense.  Lordy, unlike you???

Never again Stoppable Ecocide is intense.

The ONLY THING I HAVE TO PAY WITH THAT MIGHT REMOTELY BE SUFFICIENT, IS MY LIFE. That is true for any of us, ALL OF US,  against the most highly financed, powerful force, ever to be on earth - the fossil fuel industry.

I want to have enough TO PAY THE PRICE.  I what to be enough.  I need to find if there are others, that with whatever words, FEEL, ARE, the same way.

Then, if we can get past the words, to the meaning, we can begin to figure out

how to win, IN TIME, WHICH IS THE SAME THING.

WE WILL NOT FIGURE IT OUT TILL SUCH PEOPLE FIND, OR RECOGNIZE EACH OTHER,

AND PRICE NOT THE ISSUE, WINNING IN TIME IS, AND BEGIN TO SERIOUSLY, COURAGEOUSLY, FEARLESSLY, RELENTLESSLY, BRUTALLY... ASK THE QUESTION NO ONE HAS ASKED, NO ONE IS

ASKING, AND THE ONLY QUESTION THAT CAN STOP ECOCIDE:

What price will it take, by when, in what form by whom, where.... to Stop Ecocide in time???

---- reply ----- 

okay, i will look past your word, but a lot of possible recruits might stumble over that word before they get your message.  ha. ylsxxxx yes no matter what. but lordy!!!!

-------- Loving's Reply -----------

If the dialog is to start, to finally Start, it is exactly that I can't do it myself; need help

on, fall short on... every front, including language, that I even thought of reaching out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    

 ----------------REPLY --------------

we'll loving i think there are folks with the X that are willing to step out there.  I think the XX movement has the potential.  i think they are fed up and their backs are against the wall.  I dont think there is an enormous bunch of people but i believe there are a few.  i know some guys in XXX that want peace on earth pretty bad and are willing to step our there.  i think--now this is my personal opinion--that you should heal your body, take that damn chemo if you have to--then you need to go to some of these gatherings where you can talk to young people about being courageous and standing up. they need to hear it. hear you. but Death Fasts???  hmmmm.  i will calf rope you and send you on a train to YYY . ha. xxxyls 

-------- Loving's Reply --------------

Oh Creator.  OXYGEN, YOU ARE OXYGEN. Did you just commit?  NO!  But we are talking, about what needs

to be spoken of.

What is central to what I'm saying?  Is it Death Fast?  NO!  Is it Dying?  NO!!!!

WHAT IT IS - WE CANNOT FIND THE ANSWER - HOW TO STOP THIS IN TIME, IF WE

START WITH ANYTHING, ANYTHING, ANYTHING (STATED OR UNSTATED) OFF THE

TABLE!!!!  AND SO FAR, UNSTATED OFF THE TABLE HAS BEEN-

UNSPEAKABLE PRICE

UNSPEAKABLE INCONVENIENCE.

ALL I'M SAYING IS, EVERYTHING HAS TO BE ON THE TABLE FOR THE 1, THE 2, THE 3...

IN DIALOG TO HAVE PRAYER AT 

1. FINDING, AND 

2. SPARKING WHAT UNQUESTIONABLY WOULD BE THE

BIGGEST, MOST IMPOSSIBLE, MOST IMPORTANT MIRACLE IN HUMAN HISTORY.

EVERYTHING MUST BE EXPLICITLY ON THE TABLE FOR THIS.

IT NEVER HAS BEEN.

MAYBE, DO TO YOU, THIS WILL CHANGE.  

---------- REPLY --------

oh that is difficult for you...my goodness.  loving reaching out

--------- Loving's Reply ----------

You are teasing, but in Truth, you will NEVER MEET ANYONE MORE GREEDY FOR

HELP. 

And you will never meet anyone MORE DETERMINED THAT IT BE TRUE, TRUE,

TRUE help.  We are out if time.  I don't care what price, personally, I have to

pay to find the True Help, and out of Love of the Individual, and Humanity,

I can't mis-use a second on those that I SHOULD HAVE HAD THE LOVE,

AND COURAGE, TO RECOGNIZE WEREN'T TRUE HELP.

And What, What, WHAT is the LITMUS???

PLACING EVERYTHING ON THE TABLE - WILLING TO PERSONALLY PAY WHATEVER

PRICE IT TAKES.  YEARNING TO FIND, AND PAY WHATEVER IT TAKES, NOT A

BIT MORE, NOT A BIT LESS, NOT A SECOND LATER THAN IS NEEDED.

   

-------- ANOTHER PARTICIPANT REPLY -------------

 By this time next year - as fast as is humanly possible - we will have 4 million on death fast....

----- Loving's reply -------------

And if and when the right 4, the right 40, are, if soon enough, in the right place, at the right time, on Death Fast... they will spark the next echelon - the Army equivalent sparked by the Marines - Death Fasters the Spark on 1000x as many Hunger Strikers-in-repeating-waves... and they will spark the Millions of Supporters.... AND THEN ECOCIDE STOPS. 

WE DON'T GET TO SET THE TIMEFRAME - IS IT NOW, OR NEVER. 

WE MAY SAY, GEE, I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, BY NOW, AND IF IT DOES NOT, we may feel good about how well we tried; and ALL OF CREATION WILL FEEL WHAT UNSTOPPABLE HELL ON EARTH FEELS LIKE.

Apollo 13:  FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION, must be our motto, what we live and die by, or Failure is not going to happen.

"Close only counts in horseshoes, and hand-grenades."

------------ ps: About cancer treatment for Loving -----------

ps sis:  Last from the docs when they saw 2 tumors in my liver -

for $30,000 we can take you from 10% chance of seeing year 5,

to 20%. 

for $60,000, chemo plus a liver section surgery, maybe from 10% to

see year five to 30-40%.  MAYBE.

If ecocide is to be stopped - the physics are clear, Creation is clear; Mother Nature, Gaia is clear 

-

30 years ago was too late,

but in 2013 we still have a prayer:

So,

#1.  I'm going to take myself out of battle for 8 of the 8 months left to win?

#2.  EQUALLY IMPOSSIBLE - $60,000 keeps 120,000 kids alive an additional day - $.50 cents per day - FACT.  Huh?  HOW CAN I TAKE A DAY OF LIFE AWAY FROM 120,000 KIDS?  I can't.

"Only the Paranoid Survive," Grove, Founder of Intel.  True, no matter which great agent of change says it.

LOVING u

***** MCKIBBEN, ROMM, BROWN... YOU!!!! - NO ONE CAN SAY THAT ECOCIDE CAN'T BE STOPPED!!!! NO ONE!!!! ALL THAT CAN BE SAID IS THAT PEOPLE ARE UNWILLING TO PAY THE PERSONAL PRICE.' Loving

MOST URGENT POST <<<

***** 'MCKIBBEN, ROMM, BROWN... YOU!!!! - NO ONE CAN SAY THAT ECOCIDE CAN'T BE STOPPED!!!! NO ONE!!!! ALL THAT CAN BE SAID IS THAT PEOPLE ARE UNWILLING TO PAY THE PERSONAL PRICE.' Loving

***** LOVING, WHAT IS YOUR THING WITH MCKIBBEN @!%?*!!

MOST URGENT POST <<<

Re the vid you sent me Here is a link, worth a watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geIni_BwjGw&feature=share

***** Sister J, McKibben's my brother. I love him.  I believe it is existentially impossible that any of us, with any breath, to not do our best. He is doing the best he knows.

I could only stomach watching the last few minutes of this vid.

McKibbben is a stake through the heart of all hope - he has no historical, physical, technological, scientific... basis, excuse, for saying:

A. We may not win (this is criminal bankruptcy of leadership as he insists on ALWAYS saying it);

B.  A new twist (?) - we cannot even pay the price that King's folks did - they won't shoot us - DEATH FAST???? FOR EXAMPLE????).

NO, THE TRUTH IS WE COULD NOT LOSE, WE COULD NOT LOSE, WE COULD NOT LOSE, WE COULD NOT LOSE... IF ENOUGH OF US PAID, IN  MONTHS, NOT YEARS, THE PRICE THAT THE CIVIL RIGHT'S WORKERS PAID OVER DECADES.

WE COULD NOT LOSE, WE COULD NOT LOSE, WE COULD NOT LOSE... IF ENOUGH OF US PAID, OR OFFERED, THAT PRICE, IN COMING MONTHS.  WE COULD NOT LOSE....

THE INSANITY IS TOO GREAT THAT WE ARE PERPETRATING, THIS ECOCIDE, NEEDLESS, NEEDLESS, ECONOMICALLY INSANE.... ECOCIDE.

"WE COULD NOT LOSE, WE COULD NOT LOSE, WE COULD NOT LOSE... IF ENOUGH OF US OFFER THE PRICE OF OUR LIVES, NOW.  WE'D WIN INFINITELY FASTER, AS LOWER PRICE BY ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE, WINNING MORE THAN ANY GROUP IN HISTORY BY ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE... "

THIS SHOULD BE HIS MESSAGE - WE, BY EVERY HISTORICAL, FINANCIAL, PHYSICAL, SCIENTIFIC, TECHNOLOGICAL MEASURE - WE CANNOT LOSE IF ENOUGH OF US PAY, OR TOTALLY BEGIN TO PAY, OFFER TO PAY - THE TOTAL PRICE OF OUR LIVES, NOW.

 SEE IT, SISTER J, THEN...

TELL HIM, SISTER J.

PPPPS (TO THE PRIOR, CRUCIAL POST): I THINK IT COMES DOWN TO THIS - AN OTHERWISE GREAT MD, GETS CONFUSED, AND RATHER THAN TRYING TO CURE THE MALARIA, SHE TRIES TO DEAL LARGELY WITH THE FEVER - THE PATIENT WILL DIE, THO MORE SLOWLY. HUMAN RIGHTS, AVERTING ECOCIDE, INDIGENOUS RIGHTS... ARE WORTH OUR LIVE TO STOP - BUT IT IS ONLY BY ROOTING OUT THE DISEASE, THE ROOT CAUSE - PARTIAL, CONDITIONAL, 'TRIBAL...' LOVING, AND WHOLLY DISPLACING THESE WITH UNCONDITIONAL LOVING, AGAPE, UNCONDITIONAL FAMILY... ONLY THAT CAN ELIMINATE THE HORRIBLE SYMPTOMS.

PPPPS (TO THE PRIOR, CRUCIAL POST): I THINK IT COMES DOWN TO THIS - AN OTHERWISE GREAT MD, GETS CONFUSED, AND RATHER THAN TRYING TO CURE THE MALARIA, SHE TRIES TO DEAL LARGELY WITH THE FEVER - THE PATIENT WILL DIE, THO MORE SLOWLY.  HUMAN RIGHTS, AVERTING ECOCIDE, INDIGENOUS RIGHTS... ARE WORTH OUR LIVE TO STOP - BUT IT IS ONLY BY ROOTING OUT THE DISEASE, THE ROOT CAUSE - PARTIAL, CONDITIONAL, 'TRIBAL...' LOVING, AND WHOLLY DISPLACING THESE WITH UNCONDITIONAL LOVING, AGAPE, UNCONDITIONAL FAMILY...  ONLY THAT CAN ELIMINATE THE HORRIBLE SYMPTOMS.

***** (PS, PPS, ADDED) Please Creator, LET IT BE TRUE: "[Loving], You have given me a North Star. It is impossible to describe the gratitude one has for the man who gives him a North Star...." (details)

MOST URGENT POST <<<

"[Loving], You have given me a North Star. It is impossible to describe the gratitude one has for the man who gives him a North Star." 

Yes, young Beloved friend, it gives me chills.  There IS a North Star.  Loving, for Loving's Sake, just as we breathe, for breathing's sake. I'll be posting more on this today. 

My HEROES are the great change agents throughout history, but, no discredit to them, there seems to be all the difference in the world in terms of world hope, as to whether their clear, ultimate,above-all-else focus was Loving, or Social Change, Rights, etc.  I didn't desire to see this, but there it is.  Gandhi's horror at life's end was to see that he had achieved nothing enduring - no enduring Loving among the Indian people.  Full external Failure he considered it.  NO DISCREDIT TO HIM, or to THEM! 

But IF there is a Revolution for the One, or the Masses, it IS Loving, the Ultimate Value,

the Ultimate JOY, the ONLY Heaven (who'd want another?)

Oh, Creator, I pray Dear friend, for you, for you, for you... that this keeps a hold of you, what seems to be grappling at you.  Creator's business, but mine to care.

I have a HUGE inclination to unleash the effusive encouragement, affection, and hope I have for

you friend, but I expect to NOT do so.  The Kingdom of Creation is within you, within

everyone.  Finding it, and coming, surrendering oneself 100% to it's power, is an almost entirely solitary thing. I must not, I will not do anything to dilute the possibility of that process.  Don't misunderstandthe profound reserve I pray that I Love you enough to show to you, and virtually allothers.

I am now, no longer working 50% on averting ecocide, and 50% on fostering Pure Loving;

but 98% on fostering Pure Loving; now, in intensive study for the next several weeks till

my Dell comes back from repair.

My point, fostering Loving, that is obviously grasping at you, is the reason for my being, but it

is a process that is all but unknown - "NO ONE COMES TO ME EXCEPT THAT THE

FATHER (CREATOR, CREATION) BRINGS THEM," EVEN JESUS FOUND THIS!  And history

shows that maybe all, or all but a few, had, have no idea how to do it, really.

We've been kicking the can down the road for thousands of years - uh, yeah, we'll get

to this pure Loving thing, but first we have to get the right to vote, throw off slavery,

end hunger, throw off the oppressors....  I'm not belittling this, but the history is clear. 

Either:

A.  No Revolution is POSSIBLE, to 99% of the needless suffering, hate, injustice...

on earth,

or,

B.  The only Possible Revolution, the only one that can cause mass Salvation, which must be

pursued directly as the primary, ULTIMATE goal ABOVE EVERY OTHER CONSIDERATION, LOVING,

with more courage, discipline, self-sacrifice, single-mindedness - is the Revolution of Loving - first within Self, and thereby available on unmistakable display, model, to infect, guide, pave the way, inform... others.

Nothing less than this can avert ecocide, the biggest calamity ever to face humanity,

which we are out of time to avert.

-------

I pray to be given the time, among other things (I don't count on tomorrow, especially

with these two malignant tumors in my liver) to really come to understand those whose

religion was Loving, only Loving.  The TWO I can point to at this moment are:

*  Jesus (JUST 2 Commandments; I know near-all believe differently, and I'm not intending

to challenge you - #1. Love Creation, #2. Love Every Individual), and,

*  Albert Schweitzer who I've just begun re-reading, and studying really for the first time.

Loving

-----------------

PS: Note to an Amazing JW friend I've had now for years:

J, I've thought of you in recent days.  I pray you've been following.

The clarity to me, permenent now(?) that there is little left to Save of Humanity.

This is central to your beliefs, no?  Yet, it changes nothing.  I am here to Die to Save
the next 200 billion, or the next one.

I'm not sharing any of this to influence you, but to inform you - some of the thoughts

are of you.

Per this near all-important post (above), for me, below, I've concluded, I've Seen, that any and

all Dilution of Loving, for Loving's Sake, as the ULTIMATE, ABOVE-ALL-ALWAYS VALUE,

is the Death of All Hope. This thought has nagged at me for years, but it has rocketed

into the center of my thought, and being now, and rightly so, I'm quite sure.  Relative to you, and all 'christian' sects, is the damn, damned, Damned dogma they bury, dilute, self mutilate - through that hideous dogma - killing the Life that otherwise they are near to embracing and spreading - Loving.

Hence, oh goodness, anything in me, or in others that show promise, so few do, anything

that rivals, that dilutes Pure Loving, is Death to any hope, I, or they, could otherwise be.

I pray to be given the time, among other things (I don't count on tomorrow, especially

with these two malignant tumors in my liver) to really come to understand those whose

religion was Loving, only Loving.  The TWO I can point to at this moment are:

*  Jesus (JUST 2 Commandments; I know you believe differently, and I'm not intending

to challenge you - Love Creation, Love Every Individual), and,

*  Albert Schweitzer who I've just begun re-reading, and studying really for the first time.

Loving

-------------------

PPS:  " okay loving, you are a bit abstract.  little ole [me] needs something concrete. what did you just say???"

:-)  You read the long post?  Oh, my point isn't that it is clear, just being sure you didn't

just read the one-liner.

Sigh, I don't know how to say it better, yet.

See attachments.  For the first time in years I've been able to do some new study, reading,

(listening), in that Library I've put up.  SEE ATTACHMENTS.

SISTER, I HAD NO IDEA THE PRICE WOMEN PAID FOR SUFFRAGE.  A Woman's Crusade. WHAT SHEROES!

Rosa Parks - what a SHADOW of herself we've crushed her to be in our myths.  Rebellious Rosa Parks.

You know of my reverence for Gandhi.  But he RIGHTLY thought he'd FAILED, MATERIALLY, by life's end - no, enduring, mass Loving.

I'm facing this, square, now.

A. Either, a mass revolution of Loving is not possible,

or,

B. It doesn't happen when Loving is one of Two Objectives, co-equal - suffrage and Humanity (Loving), etc, etc, thru all the rEVLOLUTIONS. It isn't happening, so glacial, it isn't happening.

I see one last hope, that purely going after the Revolution of Loving, as Jesus,

and Schweitzer (and others I hope to focus on) did, is the one remaning hope.

Does this Hope have any relevance to stopping Ecocide?  YES, IT WOULD BE THE

ONLY HOPE TO DO IT  - IN TIME (SAME THING).  Would the Warriors of Loving

be aware of Stopping Ecocide (for example) as a GOAL?  YES! But somehow, they

would have to Live with Complete Clarity, that Spreading Mass Loving, Mass Soul

Awakening, was the Sole Goal that took priority above all others, as the ONLY means

to other ends.  I don't think it has ever been tried, done, since the first 200 years

of early Christians, and some lone wolves and wolveses (:-)  throughout the ages.

------------

PPPPS: I THINK IT COMES DOWN TO THIS - AN OTHERWISE GREAT MD, GETS CONFUSED, AND RATHER THAN TRYING TO CURE THE MALARIA, TRIES TO DEAL LARGELY WITH THE FEVER - THE PATIENT WILL DIE, THO MORE SLOWLY.  HUMAN RIGHTS, AVERTING ECOCIDE, INDIGENOUS RIGHTS... ARE WORTH OUR LIVE TO STOP - BUT IT IS ONLY BY ROOTING OUT THE DISEASE, THE ROOT CAUSE - PARTIAL, CONDITIONAL, 'TRIBAL...' LOVING, AND DISPLACING IT, NOW, WITH UNCONDITIONAL LOVING, UNCONDITIONAL FAMILY, AGAPE.... ONLY THAT CAN ELIMINATE THE HORRIBLE SYMPTOMS.

---

nd 'Death Fast Recovery - My body is recovering solidly. Weak. Absorbing calories. Body unhappy, but well. Psychology solid, sober, hugely enlightened, saddened, moving forward.' Loving

nd 'Death Fast Recovery - My body is recovering solidly.  Weak.  Absorbing calories. Body unhappy, but well.  Psychology solid, sober, hugely enlightened, saddened, moving forward.' Loving

***** The soul is everything. Awakening and strengthening the soul is all hope, the only hope. Always first in self, always to bring life to the other, and to the whole.

The soul is everything. Awakening and strengthening the soul is all hope, the only hope. Always first in self, always to bring life to the other, and to the whole.

***** the only hopeful revolutionary act - pure loving to beget pure loving. shockingly, from the study of truth human rights, amidst my awe, is clarity that this is too little too late.

* the only hopeful revolutionary act - pure loving to beget pure loving. shockingly, from the study of truth human rights, amidst my awe, is clarity that this is too little too late.

***** the matrix is our best metaphor. This is not 2010 Egypt, it is not V for Vendetta. We've been brought up to the matrix, we will kill to stay in the matrix.

* the matrix is our best metaphor. This is not 2010 Egypt, it is not V for Vendetta. We've been brought up to the matrix, we will kill to stay in the matrix.

***** This is horror. At 62 I'm reading what I should have read at 16...

How iat 62 can I be learning what I should have learned a 16?

How can I just now be learning what civil rights struggle really is? The rebellious Rosa Parks by theoharris.

How can I just now be learning what women's suffrage struggle really was? A woman's crusade Alice Paul.

How can I just now be learning of one of the only true Christians, the essential writings of Albert Schweitzer?

How can I just now be learning what true Christianity is - the gorillas of Peace in El Salvador and South America against the anti-christ Satanism of Ronald Reagan's Americans?

It would have been more sane if for my for 62 years I'd have been taught that health came from a diet of sand and breathing from the exhaust of a car's tailpipe.

We're a culture of the matrix for the matrix in by the matrix, as Creator is my witness.

It is not a plot. It is mass, a multi-generational, insanity.

Jesus told us to come out of society not to repair it. The only solution was to abandon Titanic not to save it.

If you love your children, if you love anyone, you simply must do what I've finally begun to do. You have to find sanity, you have to discover what that means in the matrix.

***** Anyone understanding my fast termination must sense tremendous negativity

Negativity isn't the correct word but it will have to do. Hopeless? Desperately bleak? Destructive negativity!

The truth is the ruler. All hope is in respecting the ruler. Especially when horrible, all hope is in facing , embracing, aligning with the ruler.

I did not want to see what  I saw - that there was no Soul left to Save.

I wanted, I want, to see that at whatever personal cost I can help to Save it.  But I don't see that.  From the top of this Death Fast, I did not see that.

***** Who are the Giants of converting to agape? ....

* Who are the Giants of converting to agape? ....

Who are the Giants from whom we must learn? They are exceedingly few. No discredit to anyone.

Most instructive, they may not be the great agents of social change. Gandhi coensidered himself a failure at the end. And this is why.

His goal was revolution of loving. He viewed that as being the only revolution worthwhile. He thought that by pursuing hugely Humane societal goals he was pursuing the Revolution. But at the end he saw he had merely been exercising the fleshly spirit of the masses. This is a monstrously important, sobering, unusually difficult challenge to work through.

Nothing is more important for me for you to face and master.

***** It concerns me that to terminate a death fast I must first begin it....

There is tremendous potential cost , obviously , to beginning of death fast and then terminating it. But at all personal cost i subordinate myself too truth, reality, as best I can see it.

Obviously I could be too weak, too cowardly, to self centered, too deluded... To start and complete the death fast. But there is not one fiber of me that feels that. My pain for humanity is infinitely greater than any than any concern I feel for myself, before during or after any death fast or hunger strike. My every concern is of being of greatest possible hope and help.

I am certain it is not these things, potential weaknesses, above. No I do not completely dismiss them.

UnViolent warfare, loving, is 99.99 percent internal psychology. 99.999 percent of my laptop is internal circuitry. Get the circuitry right and everything else happens. I can think of little that is more important and true. Gandhi, Theresa, were emphatic that without hours of prayer, internal work, everyday , they could not do their work.

Unless Lewis and Clark threw themselves Westward they could not discover what they discovered materially.

Unless I hurl myself into new, desperately important psychological territory, based on my best intelligence at that moment, I cannot discover what I need to discover about myself, about our situation, about how to personally or collectively work to avert ecoside, or to possibly save from psychological hell the billions we are hurtling in that direction, or the one .

***** 2 Sister J wrote: I appreciate you taking the time to spell this out. I di...

I appreciate you taking the time to spell this out. I did read your post re: stopping the death fast, and I didn't understand what you meant about nothing to save...as I thought your passing was going to be a spark to help people realize that there are 204 billion children to come, worth saving...so that was confusing...but your words here help clarify and I appreciate. I honor your efforts, but most of all your clarity on that journey to the top of the mountain, for in your journey, I took a journey and I learned about connecting to people's souls...I'm not sure what you don't like about McKibben's efforts...I think they are valid in terms of waking up the masses and getting people to take action...NOW
thank you for YOU~!!

-....

Sister J , if to save your child's life it requires an operation today but someone convinces you that getting the operation next month is much more realistic that's criminal, deadly, cruel malpractice. We have history of unviolent change. The library on my site is loaded with the relevant history. If the price of my child's operation is $10,000 and for my child to be saved it has to be paid tomorrow morning and to pay it tomorrow morning will take me to devoting everything I am and have now to secure that money, but the McKibben's of the world, whatever their intent, convince you to ignore the obvious truth, and that instead that you can go in with only $2000 tomorrow morning... Between the two of you you just killed your child. Jill, we're dealing with physics, project management, implementation time, probabilities, economics, politics, the history of change. In view of those what I'm saying is utterly clear and intellectually and historically in contestable. But we don't want to see the truth, because it is inconvenient.

If I were one of five doctors on a crash scene, I think I would run the fastest, I would work the hardest, and I would give up the last. But I would give up if I saw that the patient could not be saved. Yes touching the soul is the only hope. But what I saw from the top of the mountain is that there is no soul in America to restart. We will do absolutely anything to save our children's future as long as it is absolutely convenient. I will do anything in my power to buy a Maserati, as long as the price is under $5.

I would joyfully give my life to save every one at the crash scene. Near killing myself to get there quickly I became the one to see that's all we're already dead because I was the only one that had cared to get on site, Oh, and Diane too. So to my horror I redirected my efforts to try and save just one. But if to my shock and joy I came to see I was wrong and 10 more heroic doctors came sprinting over the hill I'd be back killing myself attempting to save all. This is very easy to understand. It is very obvious. But it is profoundly inconvenient to see, to understand , so we do not . I hate that Al Gore came up with the word because his political malpractice in this is criminal. But it is the correct word - inconvenient . For all of eternity the epitaph will now be -The next 200 billion children were condemned because for the 2013 generation it was inconvenient to break a sweat to try and save them. The US generation of 2013 would not suffer one millionth of what the women suffragists suffered for an infinitely less important goal. the 2013 generation would not suffer 1 millionth of what their peers in Egypt suffered 2 years ago. The generations of 2013 would not suffer one trillionth of what my father's generations suffered to protect their progeny from the threats they saw in world War 2. We are already dead. Not, we will be dead. We're already dead. Not metaphorically but truly we are already zombie apocalypse . There is nothing left to save. So I will attempt to build life rafts for the one in a million downstream that is dying to have what we are dying from the lack of , the loving spirit, the soul. And if there are such life rafts, that one in a million, these we've condemned to the planet hell we've given them, will be more joyful and more alive, then we Walking Dead zombies of to day.

None of these are entirely new thoughts to me Jill, I've written and spoken of them for years. But I stood on my highest mountain top yet two days ago and hence I have a clarity I did not expect, I did not want, but Gandhi was correct, truth is the ruler, truth is the rules, inconvenient, unwanted, or not. I fight on the side of the ruler, because all hope is there. I pay any personal price I bear any inconvenience to see, add to fight alongside, those rules, that ruler, no matter what it costs me, no matter how inconvenient. That's the only way I can be a prayer for any of my next 200 billion children.

Personal note - please bear with my computer crippling. I have just minutes of experience with this little handheld Samsung.

***** 1 Sister J wrote: Please tell me, what do I say to all the college students...

Please tell me, what do I say to all the college students...as to your change on the death fast...because I spoke to many of them on Earth Day telling your story...tell me, what do I tell them, exactly in your words:)...

Sister J, I feel profound accountability to humanity every second of my life, and never more so than at times of my more extreme attempts to serve . You can almost assume that for myself I've already asked myself the questions that they may ask you. I have and I am. Therefore I'm encouraging you to start with my posts. I'm encouraging you to use them as a trusted starting point.

Sadly I'm computer crippled right now. I'm trying to make do with the little Android. But if you will seriously use my posts and then ask me specific questions, with great joy I'll move heaven and earth to reply.

But a few additional thoughts.

Only one who climbs the highest mountain can then see beyond it from the top. I did not expect to see what I saw from the top of the death fast, and I do not hold up to myself or to others that perfect is my vision. But I do experience it as my clearest vision so far.

I believe you'll see in my first post terminating the death fast that I could see nothing to save. And I gave maybe six brief examples of what I meant. I sent you to that post as profoundly central to your question.

Part of what I saw from that mountain top, from the arduous climb, was that we are too dead to stand with 1 millionth of the courage, strength, speed, personal sacrifice then it will obviously take to stop Ecoside in time, which means, now. I don't deal in absolute truth. This is not academic for me. This is family for me.

What I need is sufficient truth to stand on for the next moments of battle. No offense to anyone, including my clueless, insanely in denial - of all history, criminally so, McKibben. But the only person I see for years with the remotest idea of the price, the obvious price, of stopping ecoside, is Diane Wilson. And this is central to what I said in that first post. When a species can't begin to recognize danger and stand up it is already dead and there's nothing left to save.

2 final things from this computer cripple.

Death fast is the weapon, and the only weapon, capable of starting the fire in 2013. And if the fire doesn't start in 2013 it's too late.

1 old, weird, unknown, discredited guy, could only throw away his life better spent to try and create life boats for the future.

But the second that old guy saw 10 determined young people, determined to start the fire with death fast, I would join them that second if they wanted me.

If you find my posts worth reading seriously I'll consider it a sacred Honor to reply to your specific questions.

***** full loving is full success. Partial loving is Full failure. This truth has rocketed to profound centrality in my understanding of living ,helping , serving, psychological health.

* full loving is full success. Partial loving is Full failure. This truth has rocketed to profound centrality in my understanding of living, helping , serving, psychological health. Where is simply nothing else in our control. But we are such miraculous creatures that when as we are designed to do, we are purely and unconditionally loving, we are miraculous, unspeakably powerful, instruments of healing, creation, health.

For the price I, we, just paid...

I pray with all my heart that you follow my blog very very closely now. For the price I, we, just paid, I've been given much clearer vision as to what and where the fight is. If you have not, I fervently encourage you to subscribe to my blog. But it is up to you.

For the price I, we, just paid...

I pray with all my heart that you follow my blog very very closely now. For the price I, we, just paid, I've been given much clearer vision as to what and where the fight is. If you have not, I fervently encourage you to subscribe to my blog. But it is up to you

For the next two to three weeks I'll be hobbled because the laptop will be in for repair. This is providential. I'll devote myself to study of the great practitioners of successfully converting others to the spirit of loving. Aside from Jesus, who has done it well? And even Jesus, how many converts? I'll have to study the best of the failures.

For the next two to three weeks I'll be hobbled because the laptop will be in for repair. This is providential. I'll devote myself to study of the great practitioners of successfully converting others to the spirit of loving. Aside from Jesus, who has done it well? And even Jesus, how many converts to pure loving ? I'll have to study the best of the failures.

I am much more deadly serious now than ever. The world situation is more dead serious then I realized. We have made ourselves into, with religious, capitalistic, fervor, radically malignant cancer to our brothers, sisters, and creation. Or as Native Americans have been saying since coming of the white man, ' cannibals of life' we have maniacally become.

I am much more deadly serious now than ever. The world situation is more dead serious then I realized. We have made ourselves into, with religious, capitalistic, clinically addicted, fervor - radically malignant cancer to our brothers, sisters, and creation. Or as Native Americans have been saying since coming of the white man, ' cannibals of life' we have maniacally become.

Who would say: let the dead bury the dead?!

General in battle would. A first responder in an emergency would. A loving parent fighting for the mental health of their child would. A brother desperately fighting to free his brother from addiction would. Jesus did. I do, now that I see the only salvation for some of those 200 billion we are condemning to ecoside is the psychological heaven of near pure loving.

Gandhi: learn as though you would live for ever. Live as though you would die tomorrow.

Gandhi: learn as though you would live for ever. Live as though you would die tomorrow.

***** In terminating the death fast I have despair not joy.

I so wanted to believe that the future could be saved. I closed my ears to the greatest of all, Jesus. For so many years. The gate is narrow few will enter in.

He was not correct because he was Jesus he was correct because he was the greatest sear we've seen.

But he did not quit, but rather he fought for the individual revolution of loving. He found it worth one by one trying to save the one in a million from the hell of the fleshly life. I shall use every remaining breath to try and do the same.

I am tempted to feel like a failure. I am tempted to feel defeated.

But I am only defeated if I fail to face the truth.

I may want to save 200 billion, but if that's not possible yet I still try, then I failed the one, or two, or three who I might have saved by redirecting my efforts.

And this I believe I will do now.

Death fast terminated. I see nothing left to save..

i dont see anything to save. our heartlesness? our fleshworship? our cruel rapatios plundering western culture? we walkjng dead flesheating zomdies? oh malala diane wilson.... imean ihave heakthy tissue in my body but should it be saved? no. more when i can get to a full keyboard. we are an unmitigated scurge blivht on creation. we laugh at repenting. gaia will exterminate us now and this is right and just.