I am not worried or concerned. Our Father's Will be done. But you few
I've copied, I feel I owe such a "heads up," as this.
The several premonitions I've had like this before have come to pass -
For 5 years or so now it has seemed inevitable to me that I will die
in prison. This doesn't trouble me. It has never been a nightmare for
me, literally; never a cold sweat; never an elevated pulse (hmmmm, except
the adrenalin from an expected conflict). I suspect it will come to pass in time,
but maybe it is just an acute clarity of how society's ways and mine are anti-matter
and matter - mutually annihilating. Some of you have personally encountered
how stubborn I can be on what seems Important. :-) :-( Standing as close
to the Truth as I do now will likely get me killed, one way, or another - exposure,
starvation, prison, murder.... He certainly does NOT want me by natural causes
just yet, having saved me from two near, might have been fatal near-car hit's last week -
neither my fault. What am I rambling about? This essay grasps the macro-physics-
reality that seems to have me (thank God) and society (thanks to unopposed
Satan / Evil / dEvil), in its grasp:
Monday, I've been
subpoenad to appear in FEDERAL court. No, nothing I've done,
yet. As a witness. Late fall, early winter, as I ever sooooooooooooo
vvvvvaaggguuueeeellllllyyyyyyyy recall, upon returning about 11pm from
my evening shift in the Park, in front of Ellen's house was a police cruiser(s),
group of officers, and someone being arrested (I'm pretty sure, I never
looked to see, as I recall). There was a fence slat missing that I'd not
noticed missing before and a police woman, seeing me approach the house
asked if I lived there. I said I did - I respect, and cooperate with the
police, IF and WHEN they operate within their job. ('The only group in this
country I have any respect for is our men and women in uniform - they are
the only group that puts their life on the line for others,' I say to folks
every day at the Park. Gandhi felt similarly.)
She explained that the person they were arresting had pulled the slat off
to attack them with, and that he (?) had done similar things ever so many
times, and that it would be a great kindness to HIM if I "witnessed" that
the slat was from the fence and it had repair worth that I set at $100 or
so. The vaguest of recollections. I DISTINCTLY recall the impression that
my "witnessing" that night WAS ABSOLUTELY THE LAST I'D HEAR OF THIS!
Last week the subpoena arrived.
I gave them my name, the only name I'm known by in DC - Start Loving.
On prior arrests - Pentagon, White House... I've thought to give my old
name as well, but this time, it absolutely never even occurred to me -
I was doing her, the officer, and the person being arrested a "favor!"
Will I be jailed for giving the Feds a "false" name tomorrow? What DID I witness
to? I gave it almost no thought at the time, so I CERTAINLY don't recall now!
I'm required to bring ID. I HAVE NO ID, refusing to have such under Bush.
What if what I can testify to now is in opposition to what I testified to
then? I'LL NOT LIE. I'll be sworn to "tell the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth, so help me God." AND THIS I'LL DO. This is where I expect
they'll get me, cuz I AM IN CONTEMPT OF OUR IN-HUMANE "LEGAL" SYSTEM.
I'LL NOT, NOT, NOT, NOT REFER TO SOME OVER-PRIVILEGED WHITE GUY,
OR WHATEVER, AS "YOUR HONOR." ETC, ETC, ETC.
"Contempt of Court" - is this how the end will start for me? Cuz, I AM TOTALLY in
contempt of a system that incarcerates 2 million poor folks in this country.
Gandhi was asked - 'What do you think if Western Civilization?' He
responded - 'I think it would be a good idea.' He wasn't kidding. Neither
am I. Neither was Heschel (above).
