Reminder to self. the one adult population among whom I have been substantially welcome throughout my adulthood is the population of people with an extreme, complex, problem. an emergency, if you......

Reminder to self. the one adult population among whom I have been substantially welcome throughout my adulthood is the population of people with an extreme, complex, problem. an emergency....... , if you will, where they thought I might be able to help. Beyond that, not so much, not very long. Initially they naturally project on me a type of person with which they are familiar, they fairly rapidly discover that I am not something that fits in a traditional mold, extremely intense, extremely devoted to a just world, and I become unwelcome pretty fast, although rarely are people rude.

Standing Rock update: Isn't it odd? There may be dozens of us that are brutalized, incarcerated, imprisoned, on the 22nd and Beyond, or whenever......

Standing Rock update: Isn't it odd? There may be dozens of us that are brutalized, incarcerated, imprisoned, on the 22nd and Beyond, or whenever it happens, and yet I feel very much alone. I mean, wouldn't I expect to have a small community at least of those of like mind? The words that I have written recently and that I continue to write about the spiritual battle, there are some beautiful souls here that like what I write but I know of none that share the thoughts that I have within them, at all closely. This is not a criticism of anyone including me. But it is a curious fact to me. And it would certainly be easier if I had those that were of more like mind alongside of me. But most importantly I find it curious. I do think that among a few there is a distinct similarity of soul. A distinct inability to turn away from the dictates of the goodness in our soul rather than acceding to the wishes of the evil within our soul. This is surely a very important similarity. But I find it odd that does not extend beyond that. Oh, and to be sure the souls with whom I have much in common here are relatively few from what I can see. There is so much acting out of decades and centuries of abuse, so understandably, but so not what the revolution is, so old, so much what the status quo is.

***** Little if anything has the power of the catalyst, miniscule entity massively transforms an infinitely larger whole. It pays the price of total isolation, never becoming part of the larger whole.

Little if anything has the power of the catalyst, miniscule entity massively transforms an infinitely larger whole. It pays the price of total isolation, never becoming part of the larger whole.

I have spent virtually my entire life profoundly alone. Although in the proximity of others....

I have spent virtually my entire life profoundly alone. Although in the proximity of others, where I live psychologically is profoundly different from almost everyone else in our culture. For the first third, or even half, of my decades I figured there was something very inadequate about me that caused this. For the next 3rd, two, of my decades I accepted that it had to do with some undeserved goodness in me but the pain of the solitude drove me to try and do the impossible, to merge where I was with where other people are. It is not possible neither in physics or in psychology. By now my solitude is as familiar to me as a beautiful sunrise, the pure smile of a young child, the honesty of a squirrel. There are still moments, like now, when I so wish that I did not live so psychologically alone. But then I kind of laugh. I don't know that Lewis and Clark were at all admirable people, but they certainly set out into essentially unknown territory in search of some truth, and surely they had no illusion that solitude would not be a price of their journey. Through no choice or credit on my part I am built to seek and to live the truth that other people seek to deny with their entire strength because of the cost and pain associated with such truth. By definition such a person is seeking solitude, traveling toward perpetual, unending, never to end... solitude, in the way that Lewis and Clark were, for a time, though in neither case was solitude the goal. Lol. Dorothy Day wrote a book entitled, the long loneliness. I don't think I have read it, & I wonder if this is what she had in mind.

***** Chris Hedges: ‘Rebels share much in common with religious mystics. They hold fast to a vision that often they alone can see. They view rebellion......‘

Rebels share much in common with religious mystics. They hold fast to a vision that often they alone can see. They view rebellion as a moral imperative, even as they concede that the hope of success is slim and at times impossible. Rebels, a number of whom I interviewed for this book, are men and women endowed with a peculiar obstinacy. Willing to accept deprivation and self-sacrifice, they are not overly concerned with defeat. They endure through a fierce independence and courage. Many, maybe most, have difficult and eccentric personalities. The best of them are driven by a profound empathy, even love, for the vulnerable, the persecuted, and the weak.
Revolutions take time. They are often begun by one generation and completed by the next. “Those who give the first check to a state are the first overwhelmed in its ruin,” Michel de Montaigne wrote in 1580. “The fruits of public commotion are seldom enjoyed by him who was the first mover; he only beats the water for another’s net.”

***** "James, whoever I spoke to in Washington had seen your advocacy work and thought about what you are doing." This, from the young activist.......

"James, whoever I spoke to in Washington had seen your advocacy work and thought about what you are doing." This, from the young activist I had worked with closely, one of the rare activists for whose work I had any respect. I had not seen him in a couple of years. He, unlike I, works extensively within the NGO and activist community. So what he shared with me was information that I had never before received.  "Beyond any other influence I've had in my life, you were, and remain, my spiritual North Star."

Pic. The story tells us that Neo gladly devoted his life to freeing those in the Matrix. But are we led to believe that he missed being in the matrix? That he missed the people in the Matrix? No. Most certainly not. Maybe it broke his heart that they chose the Matrix instead of outside with him.

I wish I had [more] people in my life that deeply and intensely Loved me exactly because of how sane I have become. Of course, it has been the opposite......

I wish I had [more] people in my life that deeply and intensely Loved me exactly because of how sane I have become. Of course, it has been the opposite. And I am 100 percent okay with that. It has been my active, deliberate, incessant choice to pursue sanity with all of my might, sensing clearly what it would cost me, as it has. I remake the same choice, greedily, with every breath.

***** nd. Cancer Update: "During the time of my depression, I had forgotten what extreme pain is everpresent in Loving in this world. I was in the alternate fantasy world of overprivileged separation, self-centeredness. Then the pain of meaninglessness, solitude, un-loving... smothered me. And now I seem to have dug my way back to Humanity, Creation... Sanity, extreme pain for Creation, and all - Peace of Heart, Sanity, Meaning, Life, Joy." Loving

***** nd.  "During the time of my depression, I had forgotten what extreme pain is everpresent in Loving in this world.  I was in the alternate fantasy world of overprivileged separation, self-centeredness.  Then the pain of meaninglessness, solitude, un-loving... smothered me.  And now I seem to have dug my way back to Humanity, Creation... Sanity, extreme pain for Creation, and all - Peace of Heart, Sanity, Meaning, Life, Joy." Loving

pic Plato: "Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood, let alone believed, by the masses."

John Pope shared Truth Theory's photo.

Terrence McKenna "The cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation."

***** PIC: Wow. Robin Williams. Wow. ' I used to think that the worst thing was ending up alone. Its not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people that make you feel all alone.'

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