James, hunger strike to the death in Washington DC beginning New Year's Eve? Video log. Musings

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Not now or ever is what James does the responsibility of anyone but himself. James needs some other eyes and souls on this video as he Ponders the next 24 hours or so. it would require wearing one's very big boy or big girl underpants. And anyone that did watch it and had what they thought could be helpful thoughts for James Plus or negative, serious thoughts, of course he would like to know them. Now would be a good time but time for thoughtfulness first. Also this

James level of contribution seems to be exploding. Video log. Vlog.

Caught in a tonado somehow being kept alive, and growing.

 Recent posts would indicate that James has been in a crushing depression as he experiences it. Borderline life threatening. 

He has been many before and always survived and learned. And grown. 

 The growth this time maybe to a new level, it seems that way. Building on earlier lessons as it should be. 

In hunger games the whole thing is orchestrated the horrors, the helps. So often it seems that way in

I wonder if the secret to the joyful life is the gladness of giving up one's own life in an instant for the greater good. I strongly suspect so.

Experiencing the masses as people is deathly depressing to me. But the same masses as souls, not so. Astonishing. Transformational. Life-saving. Game changing.

Will this persist beyond the recent few days? Time will tell but James suspects yes. 

 If this persists as he expects it will it may take him a long long time to fully unpack what's going on. 

 When James perceives them as bodies, head and Flesh, his sense is of profound hopelessness,

Is there such thing as feeding the soul? Strengthening the soul? Exercising the soul?

Certainly. Doing works of goodness from the soul, but also processing experience of other souls.

In hindsight James has been starving his nearly to death of late. In part due to the extreme pressures

Gigantic aha, Reading Tolstoy's Kingdom of God is within you. Created Gandhi. Nonviolence is about personal joy. Who the f*** knew? Do, be, radically good. That's all.

 This is new and therefore tentative but seems like an extraordinary useful insight for James. 

James experience is to constantly sense that a realm has been pinnacled only to find out that simply it provided a better vantage point to see the

Absolute must read. Aiden Ballou, extracted in Tolstoy’s , the kingdom of God is within you.

Q. But so long as only a few act thus, what will happen to
them? A. If only one man acted thus, and all the rest agreed
to crucify him, would it not be nobler for him to die in the
glory of non-resisting love, praying for his enemies, than to
live to wear the crown of Caesar stained with the blood of the

Go way back, who were our teachers? All the creatures, all of creation.

1st musings on discovering, pioneering, developing the new world .

The materially horrible new world. 

The material world my generation has created for all future generations. 

Those with any soul, any compassion, any humanity, will spend what lives they have attempting to

James depression battle. Starting with a diet each day of the world's horror online is deadly. Seek ye first the kingdom of God....

Vlog. Empower soul James, not just in charge

Vlog. James zombie post of yesterday maybe exactly horrible.

James depression. Video logs. Soul empowered, engaged, not just in charge.

Nov 30. James, be extremely careful and vigilant. You are what you channel period you are not what you do not channeled.

This skin further consideration of the deep Despair and depression that James  is bearing right now. 

His Mission demands that he carry a higher quality of life basically joyful quality of life. James, what is not working, I is asking himself. And the thought that has come to him is, James, look at what you are channeling. The content, degree, duration, the consistency. 

Grief and rage and fright and worrit M largely what James has been carried recent days. How can quality of life be any higher? So. Could not. 

So, is he to go into denial? Live illusion? 

He is to carefully monitor, self monitor, the content of what he is channeling and take great care with the mixture. Is it useful James to so consistently channel grief and rage? Or need you be channeling comPassion and love and attempted goodness that metabolizing that grief and rage sparks in you? Something like that. 

James dark struggle continues.

I mean, this is his work, pioneering joy in the midst of existential hell. This is what current and future generations need from James, and from us all.
Preview, it's hard. James has much to learn. Much expertise and Mastery yet to develop.

In the grip of the great dying, the great Exterminating, finding enough joy to go on serving.

 It's approaching 1:00 in the morning. James can't sleep. Is in a very very very dark place Arriving here After increasingly dark days. 

Maybe it is a sickness, a clinical depression, a mlody that shouldn't be there in James. 

James suspects it's the opposit. He suspects it is because he is holding on to substantial mental health That he experiences this incredible darkness. 

It is the reality, no? It is the truth, no? We are in the midst of the great dying. All goodness is dying on a global catastrophic scale. No? 

Yes. By every objective measure. 

What does James do? Not as a plan a or B or C but

No one is, or ever has been, perfectly good. Some have been or become Virtually perfect in the attempt to be goodness, for joy.

Part 3. James shock at how few people in the world he is grateful for thankful for.

James is grateful he finds, thankful, for those one in a million people now and throughout history that he understands as living entirely to make the world a place that is more good. James is grateful he finds, thankful, for those one in a million people now and throughout history that he understands as living entirely to make the world a place that is more good. Explicitly or by accident they may

Part two. James shock at how few people and things James is thankful for. A bit of clarification.

Note. What James is reporting here is not what he thought he would find, not what he necessarily prefers in his mind. But what he found and he is not dissatisfied with what he found. Upon asking him self the question, James, what are you thankful for that would disappear from the past or present if you did not bring thanks for this  to consciousness? 

As expressed yesterday James was shocked to find how few things and people. Is this some of it a matter of mood? He doesn't think so but he is concerned and will continue to look at that. 

 Shocked he was and is and disturbed at how few people ever in his life he is thankful for. Many acts of periodic kindness from many individuals he is thankful for that he has received directly and just as grateful or a more For acts of kindness he has witnessed from People toward others, though they be people that he is not grateful for being in his life. 

 And things, let's say a donation that someone made or might make in the future to James work, rare, but it has happens.   His immediate inclination to be grateful for that his soul said no. That is stuff. And James immediately recognize that the soul was correct. Goodness in the world is what James is grateful for. That is the common theme that he finds within himself. What is beyond his control or anyone else's, No, got to be thankful for  acknowledg? That's fine. Briefly enjoyed? That's fine. But thankful for? No. 

James shock, continued. And some substantial amount of this what seems to James as self discipline, though not uncomfortable. But surprising. Difficult but joyful sense of duty. James, how can you be so selfish as to allow yourself to be grateful for individuals in your life That on occasion do really nice things? How can you encourage that behavior? How can you be so selfish as to send, to continue to send, such confusing signals? To indulge your desire to be thankful for individuals When in fact the vast majority of their behavior Is self serving despite how it might seem otherwise to them and you James. Not of their soul in charge, but seeking pleasure even if Mutual of head and flesy. Therefore you encourage them to continue to starve themselves for real joy. How can you do that James? And it seems that maybe he Is becoming good enough that he can't regardless of what personal price he might pay for that.