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5.11.2019

Happy Murdering Mother Day


Ho Lee fuk Bill, you finally grew some balls. Respect. "“[Tech barons are] believers in some kind of techno fantasy world, where at Lea....

https://www.truthdig.com/articles/silicon-valley-doesnt-give-a-damn-about-earths-imminent-demise/

Ho Lee fuk Bill, you finally grew some balls. Respect. "“[Tech barons are] believers in some kind of techno fantasy world, where at least they will be able to survive and prosper,” McKibben tells Truthdig Editor in Chief Robert Scheer in the latest installment of “Scheer Intelligence. “And they’re completely caught up in that world, and not paying much attention to [earth’s destruction]—in fact, they’re abetting it. We learn with each passing day more about the ways that, say, Google’s tools are being used by the oil industry to find yet more hydrocarbons that we can’t burn. … What [tech barons] and the Koch brothers don’t want is society—they don’t want the rest of us in their way. They want to do what they want to do.”....

5.10.2019

Solar RV cycling log May 10th. A Title Wave of gifts.


Why all these gifts today? Maybe because, maybe, maybe, because the prime objective of today's Voyage is to let the body enjoy it or at least not suffer too much. Question marks

In no particular order.

The sphere at the knees is back, the heavy sphere playing close attention to the inertia.

For many months the left leg has been Rogue. Maybe the problem was not the left leg. It seems the problem was a lazy right leg not aggressively relaxing and  putting additional work on the left leg. Sorry left leg! You have been falsely accused and abused.

Yes yes yes, pressure on the balls of the foot 50% of the time. Zero pressure 50% of the time. Half an hour of this and then the sphere at the knees showed up. Strong connection. With both knees in opposition spinning one leg down one leg up, that sphere may result in that 50 on 50 off for each leg each cycle. Pretty sweet.

50 off is not a natural thing for this old body. It wants to Coast on the downward leg. Letting it rise the upward leg. What that does is use less muscles and tire out the primary thrust muscles.

Yesterday James realized that he was losing sight of the mission which is to get exercise not to achieve Olympic performance. And to get that exercise in a way that keeps the Mind free. So the emphasis again today was get the exercise James and do not upset the body! Do not ignore when it tells you it is in pain. Back off, re-strategize, see if there's some way you can exert Force but make the body happy! Or at least not to upset!

That sphere at the knees when it works provides a tremendous coordination synchronization and sense of cycling which is very nice, sustainable, manageable, until it isn't LOL!

Imagining and operating as though the sphere is 4in to the right seems advantageous for now solving multiple problems including the lazy right leg and its tendency to wobble in and out on the upswing. No disadvantage to this silly imagining yet seen.

Now another old friend shows up! A nearly magical equilibrium in this sphere if it is  raised about 4 inches higher than expected an equilibrium between the knees and and thighs is looked for. When it is found or as it is found weight  seems to come out from the outside of both foot pads and be more in the inner part of the pad. The image of a seal balancing a rotating ball on her nose just came to mind. This higher place for the sphere is also happening at a higher rotation on a lesser climb.

Earlier in this journey tonight and maybe to come again was a particular advantage that seem to come by accentuating the rotation of the sphere with the upward trust particularly and additional fluid upthrust at the end.

A key thing that this imagery is probably doing is arriving at a more positive 50% on 50% off, a more optimum 50% on 50% off than has been achieved in other ways. So the actual mechanic are in 50% on 50% off pressure on the pedals each cycle. And that off has probably been rarely seen this last half year or more.

Incidently, the cycling shoes are laced normally and with all of the above the feet are perfectly happy.

This notion of the seal with the ball on its nose or a  circus performer on her back rolling, spinning, her partner with her feet in the air is now quite helpful on a moderate climb. The sphere now resting on my knees in my imagination and being rolled with care to the maintenance of inertia and speed of the sphere at the tip of my knees. With each knee one traveling up one traveling down maintaining that rotation and momentum.

And this at the end really really big. For the first time in memory a strong Trust in one leg at a time being able to move this huge vehicle. The body I think has been fearful of this and in a way trying to always keep both legs applying pressure. This probably is not necessary and may contribute substantially to the non power leg robbing energy by allowing itself to be pushed by the power leg. This will be an important point of experimentation in the coming days I hope. This was enabled and complimented by the clarity today so unusual of one leg on, one leg off, pressure on one foot ball and none on the other.

Ignite soul log May 10. Soul as compassionate leader of flesh and head. Operator. Supervisor.



Day 3 since the Holy Grail post. Not entirely a game changer, maybe. Maybe it is. A leader, my stock in trade and joy in industry required intimate solidarity with those in the organization.

Long James has spoken of the soul in charge as opposed to the head and flesh in charge. In charge is not what the soul does. It is pretty much what the flesh and head do regarding the soul.

Although James has never had higher output, higher delivery of energy, than that freshman year in college, it was never so effortless to live. It was a sense of zero drag, zero friction. This day 3 James retains fromsome confidence that through unconscious competentence James at that time stumbled upon what he is re entering now, the soul as leader, compassionate leader. Without that firmly in place even the empowered soul is dragged back and out of itself, diluted, weekend, confused, by a readiness to identify with a body, the pleasure of the body, the pleasure of the cortex, the pain of the body, psychological pain. Awareness of these by the soul in leadership is necessary to compassionate Lee manage a high output of goodness from the beeing. And it wants nothing other than this tangible constant awareness. But without the full freedom that comes from observing rather than enmeshing with, its ability to serve head and flesh and wider entities is severely curtailed. Massive amounts of time and energy diverted wasted confused.

A tedious but important upgrade of the LSGIA being site was almost completed, re sorting according to the work of last week the beings by their intensity or lack thereof.

Dump wins if he de-moralizes us completely enough. Destroying the Soul.


5.09.2019

Solar RV cycling log May 9. Are there just many good ways?


Maybe there are just many good ways for James.

But he will take the risk of saying that even they difficult short Voyage tonight indicates that indeed the ball of the feet on the pedals has a crucial role to play. They are invaluable sensors at the variance Beast.

The strategy tonight that showed some promise was that the objective is to keep substantial pressure on the bottom of the feet on the pedals ultimately for the forward conceptual 50% of the cycle. In a funny way the kneading that a cat can do comes to mind. I just remembered that this is an old old friend. It can bring terrible complications but it seems to be necessary. At least tonight it set up a very useful alternating such that the forward leg applied the pressure and it was clear that the non downward leg should be applying no pressure. The non-primary leg can get lazy and rest on the pedal robbing energy from getting to the vehicle.

At least tonight the solved a lot of problems, the tendency of the body to jerk or Force various parts of the cycle. The body to let the Contours of the road or the motor dictate the Cadence. Pressure on the ball of the feet means that there is some tension in the feet and ankles and these can act as shock absorbers smoothing these things out and sparing the thighs from all of the adjustment.

A recent friend was helpful tonight as well, remembering that the body is primary and that the mechanics of the vehicle and the pedeling are secondary. Body is too willing to try and adjust to the cycle and taking care of the body needs, the biomechanics of the body, can make things much less frustrating and more comfortable and ultimately more powerful and sustainable.

Oh, and a fabulous friend of about 9 months ago showed up again today. At least a close cousin. The notion seemingly magical nine months ago of extracting energy from the ground beneath the vehicle with the uprising leg! It made no sense. It produced wonderful sustainable performance for many weeks and then could not be rediscovered. But it wasn't Magic. By emphasizing the full smooth upward rise of the leg it helps sustain pressure on the ball of the foot on the pedal going forward all the way through the cycle.. Conscious competence. It will be interesting to see whether this friend stays around for a while now.

Yes, James has not been producing Netflix recently. The changes are so radical that he's trying to come to grips with how to stabilize things and use metrics more productively going forward.


Ignite soul log May 9. Our inner ape, extremely useful read.


It is almost as if in the first third of the book dewaal put forth the harsh aspects of his primary primate studies. Now we're into such subjects as empathy and my stress level is going down.

I need to continue to build my life on the truth even truths I don't like to see. So it was rough going the first third of the book but it is a little easier going now.

The report of several days ago, James rediscovering the Holy Grail, there are positive signs this may be the case. It seems so natural to him to identify with his body, but the freshman year in college, and now when the choice is brought to mind, to transcend the body and to see it as a wonderful tool but not to identify with it. More important experimenting ahead on this.


Hear me! Only one technology can save life on Earth. Moving the soul in charge of head and Flash. Are you pioneering the way?


5.08.2019

Profoundly important. The Holy Grail, has James finally rediscovered it?


James has been very much alive these last twenty years, escaping the insane asylum that is our cultural norms, our prescribed cultural way of being walking death. But these years do not match the freshman year in college for James.

It is still indescribable. There were material aspects. It was materially a conducive environment, an upscale liberal College in a program where James had near complete Freedom of Choice over courses.

But that wasn't it. What James had for that year was a feeling of complete liberation of his psychological being.

It was a Holy Grail lost that following summer and never reclaimed, maybe until yesterday?

Time will tell. But this is the first time that James has had an inkling of what happened, what was going on, and how to recover it.

And as of this morning this is the theory that James will pursue. James freshman year in college from the start he became a soul in charge of his head and Flesh. It just happens.  Although it happened because he had been a captive of his flesh and secondarily his head all the years up until then, and it's some deep level James knew it wasn't working. So he tried something different, something immensely effective, but he didn't know what it was.

James was very much aware of his flesh, and of his head, but they were never in charge. They were tools for him, respected and treasured vehicles  for his soul. What he now understands to be his soul, his limbic system, was every breath in charge. This was unconscious competence, now finally after all these decades becoming conscious?

It was a constant sense of being part of the infinite. It was unending Joy.

James is now plagued by chronic back pain except as the day wears on and James is up right and under those circumstances for the most part the pain subsides.

Yesterday wrote James of becoming aware that this pain was empowering his flesh to be in charge. Very understandable. But what a waste of existence? How inferior to the experience of the Soul being in charge? For James, yes. He encountered this before, five years ago, during painful and debilitating many months of cancer treatment. And only toward the end of those many months did James begin to realize that his life was being directed by the pain and that it was no life at all. And he began to move his Consciousness out to those he was trying to serve and it helped a lot.

But it was nowhere near the clarity that James seems to have achieved this morning. The soul being in charge. Is that a device for denying the pain? It is a means of denying the pain to be in control. And more importantly, choosing to be a soul in a meat suit (thanks Mel) with that pain.

James realizes this is inconclusive, but it is the first time in almost 60 years has had any idea at all what he had that he lost that freshman year.

But he has been acutely aware all that time that he had the Supreme, and it was lost, and that he had no idea how to reclaim it.

Now he has some idea.

He will now gain some experience and knowledge as to if he is correct.

And although he knew when he lost it, now for the first time he has some inkling of why. His doting, beloved father, decided that James would like to learn flying airplanes. James did not think it a bad idea and went along with the idea of his father who he revered above everyone, and still.

The flight instructor, and one is alone with the instructor during all the training, was criminally abusive psychologically. Probably a military background. The name and the appearance of this creature totally Escapes Me. But the psychological pain, the brilliant attack on the soul was relentless and excruciating. And as this back pain was moving James out of the soul and into the flesh, this monster achieve that with James, with the excruciating unrelenting barrage of psychological pain. And without the conscious competence that maybe he finally has, he was defenseless.

And without the conscious competence he had not a clue of exactly what he had lost, or how to go about regaining it. It was agony for many many years.

Solar RV cycling log May 7th. The balls of the feet are helpful? Who the f*** knew?




Doing these logs is really helpful to James. Will reading these logs ever be helpful to him? Could they possibly be helpful to anyone else?

Where is the consistency?

Those at the top of their  sport can have long long long long periods where they're lost. That speaks, I suppose, to the incredible complexity of what seems to be the simplest sports.

If anything has been consistent for the last 6 months or more from James it has been keeping the feet ankles and Cavs limp.

Guess who showed up halfway through tonight rather productive but not easy voyage? (1440 cal) The balls of the feet playing a prominent role as the points where  pressure is applied to the pedals, playing an important role as sensors to give the body clues as to how long to deliver that forward pressure.

James is likely to continue this  journaling because it is useful to him. But clearly the major thing that it reveals is that for James this is a endless journey with techniques of the day or week, and so far any permanent techniques elusive.

Also emerging was a old friend not seen in a long time, the realization that the motors and electronics act as a multiplier. This is not obvious to James in any tactile sense. But he is glad that it came to consciousness today. This is to say that James can have substantial faith that if he is applying sustained pressure to the pedals that the system will in short order match that with the multiplier that he is assigned which is about three and a half times, this translates into James carrying himself plus about 100 lb and the electronics and motor carrying the rest of the vehicle.

Ignite soul log May 7. Soul struggling through much pain today. A good thing.



This back pain is a new enemy, and a new friend. A friend in that it offers and increased degree of difficulty to the task of being a soul with but not of, the body in pain, and head. Early in the day after an uncomfortable night James did not do so well. But by mid morning he began to be aware of the choice he was making to allow the pain to move his flesh in charge of his beeing. And with the awareness that he was making the choice a different choice became possible. Not easy, not automatic, but possible. And in the coming days weeks months or maybe years this is likely to be an ongoing learning process.

Study of our inner ape, Frans de wall, was continued. Very necessary study for this mission. Our ancestors, chimpanzees, boner bows, do not determine our future, any more than they determine their own, there is an important cultural aspect, but inherent characteristics and propensities certainly play a huge roll in all three species. Halfway through the book only, it certainly is not making it easy for James to hold onto his lifelong preference that the human species is basically good. Basically humane. Basically kind. Basically loving. It may be all those things but if so that is a dramatic departure from these ancestors. And it is not yet the position of the author that he has concluded this at all.

Something else is clear, however. Our ancestors are substantial Lee plastic and molded by their particular cultural environment. And certainly the same is true of the human species and the human individual. We are each treatments for each other. We are each the environment of the other. We shape the other. Direction and agree are the variables.

The thesis upon which James is building his life and his mission is that joy is an emotional state that each individual can choose regardless of external circumstances. Nothing in this book so far speaks against that, nor for it.

Several more encounters that speak to James becoming un welcome in this community or not. One of these encounters with a main point of contact all these months in Lone Pine, the other day seemed negative. The contact today was fairly specific and indicated that it was a false negative.

Another contact, this with someone unknown but clearly of the community, while waiting in line at in establishment, was slightly negative. Clearly that the vehicle and James are known, and that it is known they have been here a long time, without any evidence that this was considered favorable. But not conclucive.

Many help described this to me as Trump country. My writings and postings about both parties is extremely negative. But Trump zealots are quite possibly not going to care about the balance negativity. But who knows? Buy the way, LOL, the community in Portland that I encountered a year and a half ago for a week or so, was highly liberal, and they certainly we're not glad when they discovered my skating view of the liberal community in general. Very Unforgiven. I became totally un welcome there.

The third encounter today was interesting. An older lady, my age may be older, was in the hardware store at the same time I was. There were a few people in the store and as I was walking down an aisle she came up behind me and it turns out she was trying to understand what was written on my shirt. Gladly I stood so that she could read it carefully. Which she did. Not evidently hostile or friendly she was sincerely interested in the word solidarity. Oh, with prisoners you mean? She said. My father is the father of all humans I said, gay, straight, Muslim, Christian, atheist. I feel one with all of those especially those suffering. This is not what she expected to hear, not what she wanted to hear, not how she thinks about things. This was evident. What is not clear to me is how she will think of it after the conversation. She probably doesn't know either. I was glad to have shown her that way of beeing. It may not go well for me.



5.07.2019



The evil of Israel is  inundating the world. 'James, I see the destruction of Israel in the next 40 years, someone wrote to me on Facebook.....'

Just being honest. Evil is ascendant. Goodness would destroy Israel. Evil is the Ally of Israel. And 40 years from now the global chaos will be Beyond today's imagining brought about by ecological destruction. There has never been such a miracle as it would take for Israel to be destroyed. They are the tip of the Spear of the emerging evil. Three four hundred years from now what little remnant of the human species there is may bring about some change. But the world as we know it today will be completely gone by then.

5.06.2019

Solar RV cycling log May 5, 6. Why is simple relationship so difficult?!?!.




Why is the simple relationship the last thing to try? 45 minutes of complex gyrations to try and move the pedals? Finally to be forced by a mercifully nasty climb that simple is what was desired? Two things, the legs extending from the Torso doing individual leg presses to optimize their own mechanics, and number two, moving not the crank but pressing this extremely heavy vehicle forward in ways that are sustainable and manageable.

At least today, and pretty much for recent Journeys, and pretty much for the last 15% of every Voyage, this is where the body finally arrives.

Mostly James is expressing amazement here. Not so much frustration although there is that. In fact, that this is being articulated and was found within the first 25% of the journey probably is progress.

It is probably somewhat the electronics, but more than that, it is  so easy to try and find options other than staying in constant relationship with the tremendous weight of this vehicle. It's probably something the body tries to avoid. But it is a much more positive experience when the horrible weight of the vehicle is found so that it can be optimally grappled with, these individual one by one every stroke leg presses. The weight is so terrible that the body sort of instinctively realizes, cut the s***! Just get real on moving this weight! It's a really good reflex.

These metrics need to be completely reworked for now. They can be  resurrected if this current insights seems to be a diversion.

Individual squats is another way to think about this seemingly optimal mode.

You don't know what you got till it's gone?



Never has James had better sustained performance then the 100 mi per day one week sprint to the beginning of the Cross Iowa bike ride and that one week event. The metrics, sustainability, enjoy ability, have never been matched by James. There have been excellent periods since. But none that matched that. Only this moment has James realized that it was not clipless bicycle shoes but instead straps like these that have not been used on this vehicle since Palo Alto a year ago September. There has been very good performance since then but not up to the level those two weeks.

At the very least that experience suggests that using straps like this are not a mistake. Not a grave mistake. And it may be that on an extremely heavy vehicle like this they are mechanically, bio mechanically, a better solution.  inconclusive but an important experiment now. And current experience does not suggest that it is a mistake. It seems to solve multiple problems to do with keeping the feet ankles and Cavs limp, and the thighs more automatically the source of power which they must be. And a possibly much more automatic higher power less frustrating ride freeing the mind for study.

May 6.

Yes yes yes yes yes. Another 800 calories, much of it extremely steep climb, yes to the above.

Individual leg presses dictated primarily by the needs of the leg, secondarily by the characteristics of the mechanisms being pressed. Solves a multitude of sins.

You Don't Know What You Got Till It's Gone.

These shoes were purchased about 18 months ago just outside the Stanford University campus. This is when this type of shoe that Clips onto the pedal, replaced the leather straps that had been used successfully up until then. Notice the hole right above the big toe. It has been many many many months since that hole was worn any further. It was worn originally now that James recalls, because he found that he needed to loosen the shoes so that he could move his feet as far forward as possible to bring the pedal more under the arch of his foot. The experiment these recent days with the green straps reminded him of this. These shoes are much more cool, and much easier to put in place and remove than the straps. So they are back in use but loosened so that the foot can be much more forward. This may be the optimal compromise.

At least some of the time the much-vaunted upward movement of the leg not pressing at the moment maybe back in use at times. It seems at times to play a nice role in setting up the leg press of the other leg and possibly helping it along a bit with a counter Direction movement.

There are dozens of photographs recording the now unbelievable metrics that James was producing all the way across the northern United States. 130 or 140 watts per hour human was really bad performance. Hour after hour, day after day. There were long days when 170 Watts human or more were sustained. If there were not photographs I would doubt it myself.

Yesterday and today there were times that James simply said to himself, press a little harder, not maximum, but harder. And he seemed to discover that simply by choice he could sustain an average of 130 Watts human per hour. This enabled by the advances discussed above in this post.

Important? Not necessarily. But not very distracting and worth pursuing.

Ignite Soul log May 5. Some in town expressing frustration for James? Irritation? Discomfort? James may be doing good.




Two nights in the hostel. A variety of factors converged. Fatigue, back pain, a marathon running event of unknown size to James suggesting dangerous congestion on the roads. And the new signage which suggested that the vehicle sitting  in town might be an interesting experiment.

It was a good experiment. Inconclusive regarding the back and the signage but some positivity.

Not anticipated but encountered where is several indications that James is becoming an irritant in the area to some, not all. And this may be incorrect. Maybe to all, maybe to none.

Familiarity breeds contempt. It does with few exceptions. James is very familiar in this area now. For Reasons of, having been here for months and with much longer daylight hours so the sheer hours of obvious visibility are increased everyday.

With these possibly hostile in counters he found himself moving from sadness to Gladness  at the possibility. Why Gladness? One is glad when one sees a potential disaster in time, no? When one learns a lesson in time?

But then James saw that maybe he is becoming some of what is needed. A substantial LSGIA being. This was initially a surprising thought to James. But then it began to make sense. We are profound Lee embracing of our head and flesh oppressing our souls to the point of death. When someone with a soul in charge is introduced, after a time the novelty of this wears off and the sense of a threat of normalcy images. Indeed. It is inevitable unless the individual inserted is really not different than the norm.

And James gladly found himself becoming more ready to move on.

And something else, that surprise him, was a willingness to wait to be told to move on. This might not be coming, but if it is, James tendency would be to move on first. No. That would be to deprive the local folks of the experience of deciding to tell goodness to move on. What a wonderful opportunity, what a terrible thing to deprived them of.

Several very important projects, small, but high leverage, progress was made these recent days.

If James is have to leave he will do so. If it is the central will of enough of the community. He is glad now to realize that shame on him if he is not ready to do so at any moment. This item is now top on his daily to do list as a reminder.

Being ready means, for James, being prepared to lose no significant energy and time from the mission. So substantial progress was made in updating James reading list priorities and contents. And this updated list is now on LSGIABeing.com http://www.lsgiabeing.com/2018/01/library-card-catalog.html .

Right now yesterday also, first revision of an exercise to rank notable individuals as to the intensity of their LSGIA Being, was completed. And posted http://www.lsgiabeing.com/2018/03/who-are-lsgia-beings.html . James was surprised at some of the things he learned. There are hybrid individuals. Combination of soul and cerebral cortex and hypothalamus substantially active. Vying for control. Or cooperating in control. He had not seen this but he does now. He was surprised to see that the substantially LSGIA  is never a hybrid, all three in combination controlling. Always soul in charge but using cerebral cortex and hypothalamus to the optimum. He was not surprised but it was useful to see that the anti LSGIA being, creatures of evil, are usually or always hyper active cerebral cortex and hypothalamus allies in their destruction of creation. That always the LSGIA being is driven for joy and the anti LSGIA being, the creatures of destruction, always motivated by pleasure and without any joy. Addicted to the intoxication of pleasure. Willing to destroy anything, to destroy everything, to increase that pleasure. Particularly to destroy goodness.

With a mixture of Gladness and dismay Franz de wall, our inner ape, is receiving more study. Chimpanzees and bonobos. Doubtless there is much we learn by understanding these ancestors. Wondering however if Franz is able to trans send? Or if he is limited by applying what he sees there to us? Central Lee, does he see the capacity for building a life on the pursuit of joy, on the soul in charge? Does he find that in our primate cousins, does he find that within our species? Do not know the answer yet.

James work on ranking LSGIA being and various study materials for himself and others as clarified that igniting soul is his primary work. His understanding of soul, the limbic system, the mamalian brain, is such that it is the seat of the amazing being potential. It is inherit Lee good because it is inherently part of all of creation. It is that intelligence, it is that energy. Therefore the extent to which goodness is advanced in the well being of all creation, it is inclined to do that, only that, with all of its being. So for all intents and purposes if the soul can be ignited, Re ignited, because it is ignited in every newborn, then essentially the work is done.

Maybe an additional important clarification received by James through his work these last several days is that 95 percent of that, is being that, being intentionally LSGIA being. That everything besides that is of vastly less importance. So James although inclined due to his training in this culture, even the best of the training, is inclined to try and convince with good evidence and argument, that is targeted at the cerebral cortex. No, igniting the soul is the work and being a repository of as many of those prior souls as possible as intentionally as possible is the central work the James needs to do. And the central work for all of us. James was surprised  to de emphasize some of the readings that only months ago he expected to be delving into and elevated others based on these just mentioned considerations.

Your life before sex, do you remember how awful were those years of Innocence? I don't......

Bringing this to my mind is a very worthwhile read I'm in the process of, Frans De Waal, our inner ape. He is a globally-recognized primatologist and certainly worthy of that. An excellent scientist scholar.
A primary population that he studies is bonobos and they are profoundly sexual.
Less than half way into the book no final conclusions by me yet, but my impression this far is that he is much of the culture that sees sex as Central to life and he has said that without that how incredibly boring life would be.
Full disclosure, there is no one for whom sex was more Central in their life than me for every moment from the age of about 8 until my late forties. It was an obsession and I understood that to be virtue.
In comparison with my life now, it was so incredibly boring, such an incredible waste of time. Exactly the feelings I have looking back as if I had been a raging alcoholic and looking back at all that wasted life.
Recollections I have of my life before sex, before age 8 or 9, is that there was much wonder and awe and joy in it. It was wonderful.
And for the last 20 years and certainly now that is what characterizes my life.