Part two. James shock at how few people and things James is thankful for. A bit of clarification.

Note. What James is reporting here is not what he thought he would find, not what he necessarily prefers in his mind. But what he found and he is not dissatisfied with what he found. Upon asking him self the question, James, what are you thankful for that would disappear from the past or present if you did not bring thanks for this  to consciousness? 

As expressed yesterday James was shocked to find how few things and people. Is this some of it a matter of mood? He doesn't think so but he is concerned and will continue to look at that. 

 Shocked he was and is and disturbed at how few people ever in his life he is thankful for. Many acts of periodic kindness from many individuals he is thankful for that he has received directly and just as grateful or a more For acts of kindness he has witnessed from People toward others, though they be people that he is not grateful for being in his life. 

 And things, let's say a donation that someone made or might make in the future to James work, rare, but it has happens.   His immediate inclination to be grateful for that his soul said no. That is stuff. And James immediately recognize that the soul was correct. Goodness in the world is what James is grateful for. That is the common theme that he finds within himself. What is beyond his control or anyone else's, No, got to be thankful for  acknowledg? That's fine. Briefly enjoyed? That's fine. But thankful for? No. 

James shock, continued. And some substantial amount of this what seems to James as self discipline, though not uncomfortable. But surprising. Difficult but joyful sense of duty. James, how can you be so selfish as to allow yourself to be grateful for individuals in your life That on occasion do really nice things? How can you encourage that behavior? How can you be so selfish as to send, to continue to send, such confusing signals? To indulge your desire to be thankful for individuals When in fact the vast majority of their behavior Is self serving despite how it might seem otherwise to them and you James. Not of their soul in charge, but seeking pleasure even if Mutual of head and flesy. Therefore you encourage them to continue to starve themselves for real joy. How can you do that James? And it seems that maybe he Is becoming good enough that he can't regardless of what personal price he might pay for that.