Ignite Soul log April 2. Frustrating, tired, doing fine.

Where does the time go? 60 mile an hour wind gust forecast today resulted in staying in Lone Pine at the hostel tonight, not planned, maybe not necessary, but oh well.
Technical and operational issues have gobbled up the day, argh.
Priority remains on the study of Tolstoy, four gospels harmonized, on the long sections that must be extracted where he brings together the conclusions of his arduous and detailed translation, into large coherent chunks. The technical project is to find these and get them into a form that the Android reader can read to me. That may require several days work. Much of the day was spent on that.
Have I been hearing Jesus wrong all these decades? Yes Jesus can only be heard through all kinds of horrible Distortion these last two thousand years. But he has reached me. But have I been getting it wrong?
There is such a heavy tone to what we're told about Jesus. And certainly there were heavy aspects to his life. But what I'm wondering today is whether the way to hear Jesus is as an incredibly positive opportunity. Without all the Commandments stuff, the damnation stuff and whatever which yes I've already stripped out. But he was all about Joy, I'm almost positive. All his Parables that seem to have negative aspects must be reinterpreted by me as passionate and positive guidance toward Joy and away from the lack of it. How to articulate this yet, I don't know. Let alone how to pursue it. But nothing else makes sense to me. It does not make sense to me that he was at all focused on the material world. He said for example, don't worry about what you would eat or wear. He really meant that I think. If you get killed, you get killed. It's not your business or your concern. Your concern is doing the joyful will of conscience, virtue, goodness, every breath for the joy of it. Let the rest of the chips fall where they're going to fall. Nothing else makes sense to me.