Update: since the cancer of years ago I have only about 12 hours of productive capacity per day but those are quite productive and I suppose I should be grateful for that. And I suppose I am. Much of the last six.....

Update: since the cancer of years ago I have only about 12 hours of productive capacity per day but those are quite productive and I suppose I should be grateful for that. And I suppose I am. Much of the last six months has been spent in incremental steps of making this miraculous vehicle sustainable and stable and there is reason to think that that has been largely achieved which is a mercy. I continue to perceive that humanity is lost, has made excuses for avoiding curing the cancer of universal selfishness for many thousands of years and malignancy now is Unstoppable. But what of the few cells that could be saved? This remains my interest but the overall situation is profoundly depressing to me. Side note, I'm using all of my skills including alcohol in strong moderation each day, to enable me to fight with all of my strength. My personal experience, and my theory is, that aligning one's life to a dedication to goodness is the ultimate Human Experience and the ultimate hope for exit from the suicide collectively. The productive hours I have each day are spent on scholarly study of this issue. My perception is that to do this in natural beauty accentuates the hopefulness of this work so I do so and expect to continue to do so into the foreseeable future. So my days are spent traversing the natural beauty that is available. And to be listening to the most important scholarly works that I can find while doing so. It is agonizing to me that I cannot do more. It is severely depressing to me that I cannot do more. It is the joy that keeps me alive that I can do what I can do.