For probably 15 years I was substance-free, not to suggest that I was ever what society would consider a abuser, I never was.. I could continue that way but I am choosing to take enough beer or whiskey in the last several hours before......

For probably 15 years I was substance-free, not to suggest that I was ever what society would consider a abuser, I never was.. I could continue that way but I am choosing to take enough beer or whiskey in the last several hours before I go to sleep to give me a pretty solid buzz. I don't think I have to do this but I choose to do so. I find that living in this 2018 World almost intolerable, the Avalanche of evil every hour every day, I find joy in fighting it but it's a real struggle. Until recent months I had a shred of Hope for the future of creation, just a shred, but it was there. No longer. Again, I think I could manage without the alcohol, but my sense is that I do better with it. And I'm able to face the next day with full energy. I'm concerned about this and I'll continue to monitor it but that's where I am so far. James