***** My dad adored me above almost everyone. I wish he hadn't.....
My point isn't to dis my dad. If I could select anyone in history to be my dad, it would be him.
My point is to learn from my experience of this near greatest of all people I've ever known of.
He loved all of humanity, all of creation, unconditionally.
But he loved me nearly more than everything and everyone... and in that it was conditional love.
I wish he had loved me no more, and no less, than he loved every creature, all of creation.
I lost decades, my fault, on craving the supreme love he had for me. There was never any joy in that, There could NEVER be Joy in that - conditional Loving. Pleasure, yes. Lust, yes. Loving, no. Joy, no.
My life is now fully of his other side, Unconditional Loving - Immensely Painful with the pain of the world. Infinitely Loving. Infinitely Joyful. Every breath.
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