***** VLOG. SPDF Day 48: THIS DEATH FAST IS NOT HARD TO UNDERSAND. HERE IT IS. MUST MUST MUST VIEW.

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Note, as with everything I do in my life I strive to make literally every second count as best as I can.  My point here is that as with all of these video logs I strive to offer you a visual record, at strategic times, of my efforts, and to provide a transcription of the video log at the same time.  So I'm doing double or triple duty which may make this sound a bit stilted.  I'm both trying to speak so that the voice to speech transcription is very accurate, and I am trying to remember to physically punctuate using my keyboard at the same time.  Now for this video log which is clearly among the most important that I have ever provided to you.

Is this death fast so hard to understand? 

Can you never recall a  time or times in your life when you wanted to give something with every fiber of your being?  Maybe to give something that was of immense or near total value?  Some gift that you wanted for your loved one?  A house, education, for your child?  I can certainly recall, and I cringe at the thought, of many times in my life where I would give almost anything, did give almost anything, for something as trivial as
a fancy new car.  Allow me to take the example of that a bit farther.  Is it so hard to imagine that one would want something like a fancy new car so badly that they work, and hoard, and collect almost all of their money, almost their entire wealth, and once they collected all, can't we imagine that they would literally race to the dealership amidst a rumor that the car was on ration and that there were only a few models left,

you're yearning, yearning, to be able to give that total ultimate price so that they could get what they want... that car... NOW?  Can't we imagine them feeling crushed, to arrive at the dealership to find either that the dealership was closed for the day and that they couldn't make the payment they wanted to make, or that the last model had been sold and would not be available for a long time, and so they could not paty that ultimatae price as they so yearned to do?  Is that so hard to imagine?

Well, I want something so badly that I would gladly pay the ultimate price for it as near as I can tell.  I want the 68 year terrorization, extermination, ethnic cleansing, torture, humiliation, starvation, murder...  Of the Palestinian part of my family to stop.  As near as I can tell I would, I will, gladly give my life if I believe it can save the life of even one Palestinian; be it their physical life, or more importantly their psychological, spiritual, emotional life.  Is that so hard to understand?

I began this Stop Palestines Death Fast SPDF on the day that Satanyahu, I mean Netanyahu, was in DC to demonstrate that he and his Zionist crime syndicate continued to have total control of virtually every sociopath, which is 100% of them, in the U.S. Senate, and every sociopath, which is virtually 100% of them, in the U.S. house.  It was such an obviously Satanic time, such a consummately dark time, that my sense, my extremely clear sense, was that unlike my brothers and sisters fighting such unfolding Armageddon's as global warming, the immediacy, the tangibility, the intense horror, of this 68 year small scale Holocaust being visited by the United States whites, and the Israeli whites, on the colored Arab population of Palestine, had associated with it people that were sufficiently alive to be shown, after I died of starvation I presumed, from my witness, that yes, indeed, the Palestinian people, even one Palestinian Life, is of course worth our own lives, in a heartbeat, with great passion, with great joy!

This was so clear to me.  It was clear to me from the incredible, unbelievable, heroism and humanity of the Palestinians alive today in Palestine, in the occupied territories.  They have been heroicly, humanely, fighting this vicious, sadistic, colonial occupation, and are fighting it today.  It was clear to me from the heroism that I can barely imagine, of the Jews in Israel, and the Jews in the United States, that more and more are risking in losing their family ties, their community ties, presumably their jobs and careers, to fight for the human rights of the Palestinians.

All of this made me shore that the missing piece of the puzzle, the law of social change, which may be my most important post of all time written several weeks ago, that the historical law of social change, that social change only comes when righteous people give or at least totally offer, the ultimate price in sufficient numbers, is the missing piece of this puzzle.

It was clear to me that this would not be seen in my lifetime assuming at the start that I would die in somewhere between 50 to 70 days.  That we were too blind, too selfish, to see it before I died.  But there's this thing called the Internet, there's my website,  most easily found at Start-Loving.blogspot.com (a relay site),  with a record I intended to keep, and that I have kept, which could possibly be the key to what they were missing, and that I would also likely, I felt near certainly, save at least one Palestinian Life within the next 20 years.  So with all that I was gratefully, joyfully, sure that I would be able to get to the store in time to pay my ultimate price.

Every day of the last 48 days on the Death Fast has told me that I am incorrect in those assumptions.  I've had the privilege of meeting a dozen or so members, the most recent being 15 minutes ago, of the Palestinian Diaspora.  To a person it is inconceivable, virtually inconceivable, that they would give their life to save their fellow Palestinians in Palestine.  They are that corrupted by our western society.  I'm not slandering them.  I'm not condemning them.  I'm stating my academic, scholarly, view from the perspective of my masters degree work  psychology, and vast study, every day, beyond that.

Similarly, the other group in which I had great faith, was the group I referred to earlier, the Jews in the United States that are displaying heroism that I can only dream of in my earlier years, the American Jews in such groups as Jewish Voice for Peace, and Open Hillel, If Not Now When,...  and others, that are paying a substantial price psychologically and materially to fight for Palestine.

But I'm finding they have the same disease as every other activist group in the country on any issue I can see, with the exception of of very few of the most heroic anti ecocide groups, particularly from among the indigenous Americans.  They cannot see, they refuse to see, they work diligently to deny... that
A. They are absolutely and totally failing to stop the slow motion genocide of the Palestinians within the next 1000 years, and
B.  That the only way to bring about that change is the only way that has ever worked in history, and that is offering and sometimes paying the ultimate price of one's life for in this case of life, and the full human rights, of the Palestinians.

So sadly, tragically, I am no longer at near 100% probability of the privilege, the joy, of taking this death fast to its final conclusion of, my preference, my strong preference, death by starvation on Capitol Hill here in Washington, DC; or the more likely termination of my life, my remaining years either in prison or institutionalized, a fate infinitely worse than death for someone like me.  I'm no longer at a near certainty of that happening.  I'd say that my best guess is only a 30% chance of that happening.

The 70% chance is that within the next 2, 3, 4 weeks, if mother nature, the creator, my metabolism... doesn't end my life for me without my choice, which of course now on day 48 is increasingly likely, that if the choice is mine, then, as I find that my body is reaching the very very very end, the likelihood is 70% that I will choose to end this death fast, and continue to fight as I am at this moment, with these pitiful signs, educating the thousands that come to the White House Park, from all over the country, from all over the world in these spring, summer, and full months.

Yes, it would be much safer if I stopped the death fast now.  I'm quite certain that nothing of the sort will happen.  I am my most suffering family.  We are dying.  I have not yet begun to state the measure of my horror, of my opposition, of the depth of my opposition, of my yearning to pay any and every price I can to make this horror stop.  I have not begun to make that statement.  That will require more weeks.  And the risk of unintended death on my part is a trivial price to pay for the privilege, the honor, the loving, of completing that statement as best I can.