***** SPDF Day 52: MUST WATCH. VLOG. Sadly, It seems to me in that there may be little or no benefit in continuing this death fast beyond this Day 52.

I STRONGLY suggest reading the transcript as you listen to, watch, this vlog.  3:42, onsite, Capital $$$ Hill.

This is day 52 of Stop Palestine's Death Fast.  And I've been here on Capitol Hill since 7"15 this morning.  The Congress scum have just finished their hour in the Capitol building and have most or all returned to their offices and shortly will return to raising money from the special interests until they reconvene on Tuesday of next week.

Sadly, it seems to me in that there may be little or no benefit in continuing this death fast beyond this Day 52.  I feel and experience zero urgency in reaching that decision. Zero. Neither my body nor my mind are the least bit eager to reach that decision.  But each of the last 52 days suggests to me that I have learned, any onlookers if there be any have learned, and anyone in the future has been positioned to learn as much from this campaign as is likely to be achieved. 

There is no event that has transpired yesterday or the day before or today that has anything to do with this view that I am finding within myself today.

I have spoken recently of intending to go several more weeks to be able to more fully express my rage, my horror, my agony at what we Americans are doing to our Palestinian Brothers and sisters. But I don't think that more than 52 days will make any difference in expressing the clarity of my depth of feeling, depth of commitment, desire to pay the ultimate price as soon as it can be taken to save even one Palestinian Life.  I don't think it will make any difference. 

It is clear to me that, as I saw, but with less clarity and less evidence, on the prior death fast I conducted in front of the Canadian embassy to stop global warming, that there's no life left here in America, except maybe among some of the remote indigenous tribes, there's no life left to benefit from this action, the witness, that I have been living.  It is a graveyard.  The thoughts

I shared in yesterday's video log was a significant advance in my understanding of things.  The video log of yesterday.  We are such a degenerate culture, we have lost our capacity for empathy, and it's not by accident in the sense that we pursue that with all of our might.  And the latent, untapped humanity, the latency capacity for loving, in the available population to the nonviolent warrior, is the raw material that is the basis for any hope in nonviolent actions such as this Death Fast.  And this most recent 52 days of experience, of drilling to tap even the merest hint of that resource, indicates that there is none available in the United States.  Virtually none.  Zero.  We are a dead people. 

Of course I saw that by the end of the Death Fast to stop global warming several years ago in front of the Canadian Embassy.  And I had not totally forgotten what I had seen.  Every day since has reminded me, to my horror.  But as I have shared in earlier video logs for this death fast I perceived that this was different in the immediacy of the ongoing horror of our torment torture terrorization and termination of our Palestinian family and that as a consequence there was a Palestinian Diaspora and a relatively heroic free Palestine U.S. activism in which there would, I thought, be a latent humanity to be taped and educated by this Death Fast if not in my lifetime, afterwards.

Each of the last 50 days, 52 days, has taught me that this was completely, profoundly, absolutely in error.  I have taken small but reliable steps to make certain that the leading organizations and individuals, Jewish Voice for Peace, Open Hillel, If Not Now When, If Americans On Knew, Miko Peled, Allison Weir, the Australian Robert Martin,(THE BEST POST '60's ACTIVISTS I'VE EVER SEEN, excepting Peace Vigil Thomas, some Indigenous Peoples, ISM in Palestine, maybe some of the Christian Peace Maker Teams, and Diane Wilson,, and maybe Rick Hohensee, too, who seems deeply committed) Code Pink...  And others knew of this Death Fast.  And there has been zero response.  Zero.  Deafening, profoundly telling silence.

I am convinced by these 52 days that those that I just mentioned and others like them are not what I had believed.  I mean, they are not committed to Freeing Palestine.  They are INVOLVED in freeing Palestine.  But they are not COMMITTED to freeing Palestine.  The chicken is involved, the pig is committed.  There is no marine and that is not committed to the mission except a dead marine.  There is no special forces that is not committed to a mission other than a dead special forces representative.  There is no high stakes business person it is not committed to their venture except one that is going out of business or losing their job. 

Even in this greatest evil on earth today, the subversion of the world's superpower to execute a slow motion genocide on behalf of a Satanically powerful and sick Zionist mafia, there is no Vanguard outside of Palestine itself that is committed to stopping this atrocity.

That is a dead, and not to be saved, U.S. population.And of course it is this U.S. population that is the engine this behind ecocide and behind the final termination of any and all democracy in the United States.  So what I'm saying is not relevant to only the totalhopelessness for stopping Palestine's Death, it is even more so an observation of hopelessness for any saving of U.S. democracy and or the stopping of ecocide.

I'm guessing that the perceptions I'm sharing with you will hold and that within hours or days this Death Fast will be terminated.

Again, I find no particle in my body that prefers for this, rather than to be finding what I perceived at its beginning that this was both why I have been born, and that it could be a matter of supplying the key to those after I died to bringing about the end of these three Armageddons.  If any part of me saw a glimmer of this hope, on this day 52, then none of those thoughts I'm sharing here would be in my mind.  But I see not the faintest glimmer. 

Instead of a glimmer of hope I see the evidence I cited above as virtually conclusive than we are dead, there is no latent humanity to tap. 

Earlier today I posted graphic and an article from Penn. that I found quickly searching for data that I've known since my master's in psychology program in 2000, that the measured apathy among college students has declined virtually every year for many decades now, and that's what I'm seeing here.  We have systematically, relentlessly, passionately, fiercely, destroyed our humanity in ourselves, in our children, year on year, decade on decade now.  And now there's no one left to save US, to save Palestine, to save Creation.

So what now?  There are individuals to be saved. 

Yes, I keep surprising myself.  But as I sit here it seems virtually impossible to me that by continuing such efforts as I'm doing at this moment, without the Death Fast, but with the posters, and with great discipline and commitment, it seems near impossible to me that I can't at least slightly improve the life, but not save the life, of one Palestinian child in the next 20 years.  It seems impossible to me that by my committed life I can't improve the spiritual life, by moving another in the direction, to the path, of infinit piece of heart, participation in loving, deep joy, profound vitality, that is my experience in every waking second, and in that sense it seems impossible to me that without the Death Fast, but otherwise continuing in the direction that I have been traveling in recent months and years, that I can't improve someone else's life. 

Yes, that's a rather different order of magnitude goal than Stopping Palestine's Death, and stopping ecocide, and saving democracy, although it never occurred to me that I could do more than my tiny little part. 

But maybe, maybe forever for me now, those three goals are dead within me now, for all the appropriate objective reason.  But certainly at the moment, I feel nothing but peace and clarity with the notion of continuing to strive as I have been striving but with the goal of improving just one other person's life. 

I may well have spoken very similarly at the end of the Ecocide's Death Fast of two or three years ago.  But I certainly have a greater base of information contained in those years, and contained in these last 52 days, may give me a much greater conviction and peace and clarity as to all this.

Although I discipline my mind relentlessly in the way that a hideous creature like Donald Trump disciplines his investment habits, and I have disciplined my mind relentlessly these 52 days, there have been moments when my mind has wandered to what my future might look like were I to terminate the Death Fast.  Among the thoughts that have occurred to me are attempting to become more knowledgeable and to share what I learn along the lines of thriving amidst the Armageddon's, and I know that that is entirely possible, to thrive amidst the immediate, unstopping, unstoppable, unfolding Armageddon's.  I do it every second.  But I think there's much I can do to learn more that could be a guidance to others, and by making the attempt I would both lead others in that direction and provide greater clarity and depth as to how and why it can be done and how to do so. I'd have a particular interest in h0w to guide parenting of children who are born, and encouraging, PLEADING, the case to not bring more kids to live Armageddon.

And I have thoughts about how to continue to lead the life of minuscule consumption and maximal output, contribution, that is the life I've been living ... the ONLY joyful life - Serving the Neediest, from the Soul, in Solidarity. 

The major event probably in front of me is the closing of the shelter, the homeless shelter, in which I've resided this last year that has been such a godsend base for my operations.  The central thought I have, to move, which would enable me continued to do the work that I do here in DC, involves moving out into an electric vehicle; no, not a car, an enclosed electric bicycle.  The upfront cost of $6-8000 is not insignificant unless it's considered against even the cost of the tiniest of house or certainly against the $600 to $1000 monthly cost of an apartment here in DC.  And then the ongoing costs are virtually zero in as much as it is solar powered.  I'm concerned about the legality, that is whether it is legal to sleep in such a vehicle in DC, but it is legal to sleep on the sidewalk in DC, so in all likelihood that would not be a legal barrier.  I'm concerned about being here on Capitol Hill or in front of the White House with such a vehicle but that too should be a minuscule risk, inasmuch as it is absolutely, thoroughly, illegally a bicycle by every consideration in all 50 states; that was an important design criterion by this North Carolina based engineering team.

4:48pm 4/23, Capitol Hill:

.......... If you value my work at all, and no way am I saying you should, but IF you do, or have in the past, then I have a request. Watch this video, and the several others linked to within it, deeply. And if, upon reflection, you find any deep, important, reactions within yourself, primarily about my view of the world herein expressed, you will do me a kindness by sharing either in a comment on FB or on the blog post itself. BTW, with zero joy, with zero relief, with great sadness (the tears, sobs of sorrow, come to me now) I am terminating the Death Fast now. So sad. So dreadfully sad.) There is no point in continuing, and what slight work I can do for even one in the world whose Spirit or body I might save or help, is in jeopardy any longer that I remain on this Death Fast. James