nd. I am feeling horrible about the massive hours I am spending every day trying to understand the world barely well enough to function responsibly within it. I do not think the problem is entirely or even mostly my own. Rather, what I think it is revealing to me is: 1. That what purports to be a news media today is nothing of the sort, quite he opposite, by consequence of operating in a delusional culture, a consumer culture, and increasingly a malevolent ruling class; 2. Lies and illusions gush at ever higher rates at us from industry and the government burying the truth under mountains of sludge; 3. Our culture, our white, Euro American culture is based on 600 years of barbarity and continuing, and up until 15 years ago my education was those centuries of lies; so necessarily it is taking massive time to even begin to climb out past those lies to see the truth - taking almost all of my time.

I am feeling horrible about the massive hours I am spending every day trying to understand the world barely well enough to function responsibly within it.  I do not think the problem is entirely or even mostly my own.  Rather, what I think it is revealing to me is: 1.  That what purports to be a news media today is nothing of the sort, quite he opposite, by consequence of operating in a delusional culture, a consumer culture, and increasingly a malevolent ruling class; 2.  Lies and illusions gush at ever higher rates at us from industry and the government burying the truth under mountains of sludge; 3.  Our culture, our white, Euro American culture is based on 600 years of barbarity and continuing, and up until 15 years ago my education was those centuries of lies; so necessarily it is taking massive time to even begin to climb out past those lies to see the truth - taking almost all of my time.