Loving, where will you go after the homeless shelter? (from a note to a friend)

I am awed and humbled to be any small part of your life.  And if I
am ever some small help, as you say I've been, well, I don't get
it, but I sure am glad.

Where will I go when I leave the shelter?  This is pretty interesting
to me, and pretty amazing, as the Creator is Teaching me, here,
now, through working through all these life changes, adjustments....

This shelter is a godsend to me right now.  I'm of virtually zero value
to anyone, or anything on earth, right now... despite devoting every waking
second to the contrary - I can't get any purchase, any traction, make
any difference.  This is the most crushing thing in my life, personally.
But there it is. 

In part due to this, to be somewhere, where near zero resources
are consumed by my existence, well, I couldn't bear, I couldn't  survive anything
but this.  I consume the floor space allocated to 1/2 mattress (bunk bed),
one meal per day (what, $2 a day in cost to humanity, the other meal
each day from dumpster-diving kind of stuff), among 250
African American men 50 years and older who are among the survivors
of the chronic, deadly, psychic and material abuse and starvation that is the
lot of minorities, the poor, in the US... and I'm free to follow the Creator's,
Creation's... path for me, spoken of somewhat in today's earlier email...
being in this shelter is virtually perfect for me - a Godsend.

And it is closing sometime in the next 9-18 months based on news
and word on the street - being torn down for high rent space.  Stark
word of this about a month ago was quite a shock and alarm to me.
It sent me into a tizzy of activity - to approach tapping my Social
Security, early (I'm 62), and go thru the steps available to me as a
Senior, with Social Security (at 2x the poverty level) to get subsidized
housing, here in DC!  Salvation.  I could probably secure something
in time!

And then, thank CREATOR, it hit me.  No, you ain't takin some lifeboat
due to your 'privilege' (over-resourced upbringing, Senior status...) ...
a lifeboat unavailable to some others in the shelter - without Social Security,
not white, under 62....  No, that ain't gunna happen.

So, I've cancelled all those efforts...

So... I don't know what will happen to me, us.  We were pretty much told
here that some of us would be moved well out of the city (out of sight)
to a shelter... and for the rest of us, lots of prisons are being built
every day for we increasingly criminalized poor.

I've found that Loving has a number of synonyms - one of them being -
Solidarity.  If it is NOT Solidarity, it is NOT Loving.  I expect to live in
Solidarity with the lot of the most disadvantaged of those here in the
shelter. It is not a pretty outlook for them in this new Amerika - of, by
and for the rich.  So, materially, it is not a pretty outlook for me, and
that is how I expect it will be.  I'll not have it any other way, I expect.

I DO expect to begin activating my early retirement, as I told you 6 months ago
I expected to do, and some small portion of that, occasionally, I'll send to you,
to lessen your struggles a tiny bit, that agonize me so.  SPARE ME THE OBJECTION -
burn it if you like, give it away if you like.  But, if you are doing the
Creator's will, as I think you are trying to do, then you will NOT
disrespect the Creator, and you will use what tiny funds I can on
rare occasions send, in support of your efforts. 

The retirement funds, I expect to use to fund Loving, those few
places I think it is being done - there is a clinic, in Africa (I think?),
where sheroic work is done by a lady doctor serving outcast women
suffering with the blight of fistulas, for example...

I'll keep a few $, literally, per day for 'office space rent,'
he he he, coffee and tip for a coffee shop
that is happy to have me sit there and work from time to time; if my
computer breaks, I'll retain $ that month to fix it, but other than that...
my life, my work, can't find traction... but there are others that are Loving who's
lives HAVE found traction... and I'll use my funds to support them in
their work.

((((HUGS))))
--------------- COMMENTS ON FB TO THE ABOVE -----------

SH:  Wow!

RC:  ve touched my life and many others. To me that is "traction" even though it is not on a scale you would like it to be. If all of us could reach out as you have, to many unknown people, and touch some reaction in their lives, what a great thing that would be. Sadly, we don't all have your skills and your ability to find all the info you find and share so that many of us are kept well informed. That to me means your life is solid 'traction' and I just want you to know that you have succeded (perhaps not the way you expected) in changing our world. One step at a time is more than most accomplish. It scares me to think of you without your shelter but know when that time comes you will not be alone and many of us will be standing by to do what ever humble thing we can do to help. 

KG:  I still hope you will do your work from a small farm in upstate NY!
My house goes on the market in June!

Loving:  RC, there, you've made me cry. You are so kind, and good, to me, always. I don't discount what you say - how can my life mean nothing if you say that in some small way it has helped you? It is like this - my toddler is suddenly in the middle of the highway, and I can only get part way there before she is hit, despite all my efforts - I've DONE NOTHING - in that case. Humanity is my toddler. Creation is my toddler - that's how I experience it; and I can't get her out of danger in time. I pray you understand, and don't think I"m not touched by your kindness, and Loving. I am.

Loving:  KG, the only thing I EVER know about me is that with each breath, with the next breath, I'll do WHATEVER I understand Creation wants / needs of me; WHATEVER the Creator wants of me; WHATEVER can best serve Creation, Humanity. What will that be tomorrow, next week, next month...? It will be what it will be. Know this, you and Beth (pls tell her for me), numerous times now you two have offered me a place to live, and do my work. At the moment, I'm on pretty solid shores, per my earlier status, post, of today, but not that many weeks, months, ago you made this unspeakably Humane offer when I was on much shaker ground Spiritually, physically.... I can't possibly express adequately what a Godsend of Loving your offer was, is, to me, a stepping-stone of Goodness to help me along the path; that the Creator makes pretty difficult for me often times! Argh. LOL. (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

KG:  (((Hugs)))) you will always have a place as long as I have a beating heart! Always! I respect and honor that you have a higher path then most. One day that path may lead you to my door and I will with a happy heart welcome you in. ((( hugs)))   

SS:   I sent you a note. I'm with Kathy

Loving:  SS, what can I say?  Heart, Heart, Heart.  Whatever Creation, the Creator says, I'll do.  Bless your Heart.  Time only knows.  

SS:  We'll see. But you're not homeless.

Loving:  :-)  Heart.   I am, until Creator says otherwise, but I Hear you, Deeply. Bless your Hearts. Maybe we are becoming Family, some of us. By whatever name, Universal Family, is the only Cure for what is killing everything.