***** Cancer Update: Out of Cash - no cell phone - hospital problems. We'll see. I NEVER ask for donations for my work, except by DOING my work. It falls on deaf ears. Always has since I switched from making folks rich, or richer. Hmmmm.

Cancer Update:  Out of Cash - no cell phone - hospital problems - no pain meds this weekend???  We'll see.  I NEVER ask for donations for my work, except by DOING my work. AND BY GOD, I DO THAT, EVERY BREATH, FOR 15 YEARS NOW.

It falls on totally deaf ears.  Always has since I switched from making folks rich, or richer, to bringing more joy and less suffering into the world.   Hmmmm.

It is 100% wonderful, because it is so clear, and so clarifying.  We have totally lost the ability to measure value except in terms of what others pay for it, or demand for it.  (LOVING NEVER WAITS TO SEE, or it is not Loving.)

We've gone Value Blind - 100%.  And it is my joy to rediscover value, and joyfully joyfully and repeatedly die for it, and thereby make our blindness potentially manifest.  But probably not soon enough for me - I'll trip the trip wire, go over the edge.  No matter.  I've been on the edge soooooo many times - just inches away from the edge of the cliff that just a few bucks were required to survive, with it only to arrive from the Creator's Angel, just in the nick of time - well, it is too close tho the edge for too long now. Will it get me this time?  It is only a matter if time.  And that is good.

Maybe the cell phone. $27 bucks every 3 months only for emergencies.  I never use it. I hate it, but doc's, depts, some won't use it.

One that is trying to arrange my meds for this weekend may be one.  Without a refill, I'm naked.  No, I'll not run in front of a bus, but the thought will occur to me, often over the course of the weekend, and later.

I NEVER MANIPULATE - too little, too weak, too late.  BUT I ALLOW MYSELF TO BECOME A MANIPULATION, IN THIS CASE, A LITMUS TEST, BY FINDING, FOLLOWING, LIVING OUT WHAT THE TRUTH NEEDS OF ME.

How useful to Truth and Visibility if I go without meds this weekend because the value of my work (and in Jesus' eyes my work IS MORE valuable THAN THAT OF A VERY FEW, ZERO CREDIT TO ME) is invisible.

I couldn't be more joyful, at peace of heart, for being used so creatively, so usefully, so cleverly.