Cancer Update: You won't like this. You won't like this.

There is a 45% chance they can keep me alive, keep me at war. So I could be sand in your gears for another 5, 10, 15, even 20 years.  And I'll have a 55% chance that I'll be gone from my war pretty soon.

As long as I'll be here, I'll not be found to become LESS GRITTY.  I'm at war for the next 200 billion kids, and all of Creation.  It is the most consequential war in the history of Creation, it is almost finally lost, seconds left on the clock, none by Diane Wilson, Norman Finkelstein, and a few others have a clue, or are fighting.  I'll keep doing what I can to be sand in the gears of your status quo existing, to save you the lifelong Hell near certain for you now, of 'If I had ONLY...,' and give you instead the Eternal Joy of, 'Oh my Good, I woke up in time to...!'

Any of you on the left need be particularly concerned.  Denial on the LEFT of Duty to stand and fight with your ENTIRE life, limb and treasure, unviolently, for the next 1000 generations makes the Left Creation Enemy #1, Citizen Enemy #1.

The right is irrelevant - unreformable lunatics.

You on the Left will be my primary target, your comfort, apathy, Soul and Creation killing excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses..., YOUR CRIMINAL DOUBLE STANDARDS - HOLDING PR. OBAMA ACCOUNTABLE TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS, IN YOUR TIMEFRAME, but YOU have ZERO MEASURABLE GOALS AS CITIZENS, ZERO TIME FRAMES FOR ACHIEVEMENT, ZERO PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, ZERO PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY AS A CITIZEN, HACTIVIST... ONLY EXCUSE AFTER EXCUSE, AFTER EXCUSE, BUT NO EXCUSE EVER, FOR THE LIKES OF OBAMA....  Vomit, Vomit, VOMIT.  STOP YOUR DISGUSTING DOUBLE STANDARDS. STOP IT. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT.

And yes, there will never be any breath where you need to worry about me violating your personal boundaries.  You even hint that you want the door closed, I never again come thru, with my Loving of you undiminished - unconditional.

Dr. F, liver surgeon, 11am today at GUH Transplant Center, was, well, he couldn't have been more helpful. Extremely bright, to the point, patient, thorough, generous, pleasant, kind, clear, present, human, humane, excellent communicator, clearly authoritative.  We spoke for about 20 min, everything I needed to know.

The steps ahead are not as I had thought:

1.  This chemo bag hanging on me will be the last I wear, forever, or at least till after recovery from the surgeries.  Comes off tomorrow.

2.  My odds are about 45% for a 'cure,' a normal lifespan.  I had never been told, when they removed the 1/3 colon in Dec '12, they took out a whole bunch of lymph nodes (?), and all of them were free of cancer. That is a very good marker.  The fact that only 2 metastatic tumors have been found, vs 7 or more, is another very favorable marker.  A third marker for my case is an unknown, how long it took from cancer in colon to tumors in liver - could have been months, could have been years - we'll never know.  The longer time elapse, the better - less malignant.

3.  Doc F trains docs from Bolivia, all over, on my procedures.  Everyplace but Howard U. Argh.

4.  They don't remove the tumors!!!!! They remove 1/2 of my entire liver that contains the tumors!!! The whole thing!  Wow.  The liver, if all goes well, completely re-grows, re-generates, in about 4 months!!! If things don't go so well, it fails, I die, I guess. My Saint of a dad died from an operation that gave him better than 90% odds of full recovery.

5.  But first, next week if it can be scheduled that soon, another doc will start the process of killing the half of my liver that has the tumors, by blocking, killing, the artery that feeds that half, shrinking it, and getting a jump on the 4 month regen process, by forcing the other half to start growing, to over-compensate, NOW!!!  Reduces the odds of liver failure, too.  Freekin amazing.  That blood supply killing procedure may be outpatient, or may be 1 day in hosp.  A needle, or wire, inserted.... I meet with that Doc B, this Monday, 2:30pm, I just learned.  Procedure some days later.  Late next week, I hope.

4.  In about 4 weeks from now - major surgery - very large incision along the lower rib cage.  The liver is a big organ, and the half they remove, that's big too!  5-7 days in hosp., eating within 2 days. Mid Oct I'll guess.  

5. 6 weeks for full strength to return after the major surgery, but 70% return within a three weeks or so, I gather. Major operation 4 weeks after last chemo, which is four weeks from tomorrow, at the earliest. I'll guess this dreary Infirmary will be my cage for several more months.  Then, back to the Can Emb, Creation's Murder Vigil, and the streets.

6.  Wow, one of the tumors looked huge to me, on the high res CT scans. I didn't ask the Doc, but they looked much larger to me than the .7 cm and 1.5 cm I was told back in Feb. But I don't know.  I'll ask, next opportunity.

7.  I'm back at the Infirmary, ready for my 2-4 day Road Kill black out from the chemo, tho...

8.  She reduced the chemo procedure - eliminated one of the drugs, cuz surgery can't happen within 6 weeks of that one, Avastin, and eliminating a syringe 'push' of the 5FU that is in the pump - earlier infusions a very very large syringe worth of the the 5FU is pushed in ahead of the 2 day pump worth. Totally wiped me out for 80 hours last cycle, so that indicates eliminating the Push.