***** (detail) I think maybe the most tragically Hidden Secret of Jesus, which I've only recently come to see, head on, is - HE CALLED US TO BE SOLDIERS, 100% DEVOTED, 100% IN THE WAR, SOLDIERS....

I think maybe the most tragically Hidden Secret of Jesus, which I've
only recently come to see, head on, is - HE CALLED US TO BE SOLDIERS,
100% DEVOTED, 100% IN THE WAR, SOLDIERS.  Does that sound
odd?  Quaint?  Obvious?... I think to most it could or would sound
all those things - cuz that's what we've been told by the 'church' we
are already.  But I think we can see the Truth if we really and Truly
ask ourselves - 'by comparison to the Army, Airforce, Marines... are
we Soldiers?  Laughable, right?  Until seeing this, such scripture was
quite unintelligible to me such as -

"No, don't go bury your father, let the dead bury
the dead," "Whoever looks back can't plow the
furrow," "Pick up your cross...."  Jesus was a Soldier fighting the only
true War for Humanity - with all the dedication, personal devotion,
personal risk, personal sacrifice of everything else, URGENCY... as do our
finest Marines.  And He called us to Love as He Loved - to do the
same as He. Because, He saw that we were all Dead, and Killing our Children,
in the only way that mattered -their Hearts, because Our Hearts were
already Dead.  He Died to Save us.  He saw too that
our Deadness would lead to a material Apocalypse -
the destruction of Jews in Israel (which it did 70 years after they Crucified
Him instead of Following Him), and that it would lead to ultimate Earthly
Apocalypse, as it finally is now - Global Ecocide.  This was all about
a Life and Death, URGENT struggle for the Life of Humanity, requiring
an all out unviliolent War by all out, Totally Dedicated Soldiers.
And we've made of it a mockery, dogma, empty, self-serving ritual,
an hour a week, part time when convenient, social-club membership..... 

He felt totally alone by the end of His life, because He was.  Even the
Disciples didn't get it - clueless.  He didn't fault anyone, but He felt,
He was, totally alone.  And that's how it is with me.  But He Loved us
so much, that with His last breath, for the Infinite Joy of it, He fought
for us to come to Live, to Join that Army, and that too, is how it is
for me....

If you check my site you'll see I've posted some vlogs recently.  My
only symptom so far of the cancer is frequent diarrhea, and mercifully,
the meds I got for that last week help a whole lot.  My only other med symptom
is my teeth - the crowns are pretty much gone making eating more
and more painful.  I expect to return to the med clinic this week and
inquire if there is anything they can to, at low price, to keep me going
a bit longer in the eating department.

The sadness of what I've spoken of above, and in the vlogs, should
crush me, except, thank God, I don't live with it.  I Live, every breath,
with what I can do with each remaining second to maybe, after my
passing, to be of some Life, some Hope, some Love... to those in the future - and that
is a full outlet for Loving, and a complete Joy, Peace of Heart, and Passion, for me.