01.26.13 Chemo again looking unlikely. Seems on Living arrangements I was way optimistic. My bad.

01.26.13 Chemo again looking unlikely. Seems on Living arrangements I was way optimistic.  My bad.

So, you, YOU, learn you need chemo over 6 months.  You do nothing with your life, your days now, of any importance, so of course, you accept arrangements that will make you 100% unproductive in the world for those 6 months, right?  I didn't think so.  And if you like, you can take the picture further, you are in a life and death fight for your next 200 billion kids, and the next 6 months are the most crucial by a large order of magnitude for their future....

NO COMPLAINT!  NO REGRET.  I've made my choices beginning more that a decade ago, and for no amount of money would I change them, or change places with anyone on earth - as frankly, I see no one else, well, maybe Diane, Malala, maybe someone else too, with the level of Joy, Passion, Peace of Heart, Loving... that I have in every breath (cept for the last 4 days or so where I fell HARD off the Path.  Back on now, pretty much.)

But to my naive surprise, it is looking like chemo is not to be, for me.  Looks like the alternative for 'living' arrangements during the 6 month treatment, I was aware of, too, would require that I "rest" for 6 months - no Phone work for 6 months for Organizing for Action; noVigiling (to this I was resigned); no computer / internet work (? - might be tolerated, but would it be welcome?  Would my wifi work from there?)

I was foolishly imagining that on the 10 days out of every 14 that the cancer doc figures I'd be functional, that I could be at least working out of libraries, and maybe vigilling during the day.  Based on info I've just received, doesn't look like that is the case - once in the "infermary," welcome to be 'out,' only for treatments, and then back resting - a 'Death sentence,' Dead, for 6 months - the most pivotal 6 months to avert Ecocide.

I'm hoping to hear that the kind soul keeping my gear for me in DC will be able to meet me Monday afternoon to do a hand-off.  If so, or by Wed at the latest, hat will enable me to resume the Vigil in front of the Canadian Embassy immediately, and to do a little final ascertaining of the specifics of this "infirmary."  If I'm too pessimistic, I should know that by mid week, and would immediately attempt to re-establish the testing and treatment regimen that has been recommended for me.  Otherwise, I'll Joyfully devote what time I have left to the vigilling, on-line activism, and if and when they offer it, devoting every second I can to Organizing for Action; as YOU should, too.

'I've spoken of my last 4 days Depression.  MUCH to be Depressed about.'  Loving
 
***** NYT 01.26.13: Withdraw Meaningful work, Drive Yourself, or others, Insane