Feeling ill, lightheaded, nauseous, and weak, 2 days earlier than expected. Usually the first 3 days are pretty easy. Usually, it is days 4-6 when things start to get real bad.
My starting weight is about 162 judging from recent weighings attendant to the recent cancer surgery recovery. This is about 10 lbs, 20 days worth of fat, lighter than my start of earlier Fasts / Hunger Strikes. Hmmm.
Got an early warning 2 nights ago as to the perils of Fasting in the cold - with wind the temp is between 24 and 35 degrees F. Body heat is no more! Metabolism is forced to higher level than when it is warmer to try and compensate - faster fat burn. Hmmmm.
Spirit is the strongest of any Fast yet, for me, because I've learned so much more, as recorded in the last 4 weeks or so (here, and here). Huge growth. It is sooo Joyful, Peaceful, Passion-filled, Loving, and Hopeful for my 204 billion kids.
The notion that Jesus captured so well in the following quote, as did the lives of - blacks of the US '30s embodied in standing to by lynched, Steve Biko, Rachel Corrie... - "Lest a seed die, and fall to earth, it bears no Fruit." Every movement of extreme consequence requires such seeds, or it doesn't happen. I've always been called to be the tip of the spear, my entire life, all my years. This is what I was born for. This is what I've trained for. This is all I've ever wanted to do. Will my action bear Fruit? Probably not. Almost certainly not. But there is a chance created by me trying, and SO I SHALL.
And without some seeds dying, literally, NOW, and falling to Earth, to POSSIBLY bear the Fruit of OTHERS GIVING 100%, NOW!!!!! (uh, did I mention 100%???)... well, our present and future 204 billion kids are Ecocided (more text below vid. WATCH IT. 30 min. THIS IS THE TRUTH, BOTTOM LINE, THE READ DEAL. Make it full screen so you can see the pointer after a few minutes.)
Sure, my body, my Fleshly Spirit, is not so pleased with my current outlook but I AM NOT MY FLESHLY SPIRIT, NOR MY FLESH. I am the Spirit of the Creator, within me, and so are you. I treasure my Flesh, and have Respected and valued it Always. But it is not me. I am not it. (In "Avatar," was Jake HIS BODY? Which of the 2 bodies??? :-) ) I am the Spirit of Loving, the Creator in me, the Divine in which image we ALL are born - DNA given, psychological Truth. That is your TRUE Spirit, too. (Ask yourself. NO??? Am I wrong about you??? Was Jesus, Tolstoy, Gandhi, MLK Jr... wrong about you??? Ask yourself!) I expect my Flesh to perish in coming weeks, a year or so before the cancer would have taken it, I recon, from this Ecocide's Death Fast (best explained here, and here).
I'm consuming what liquids are offered me by the 'church folk' that come by, some of whom are quite Christ-ian. On average, in liquids, like coffee with a little cream, I expect to be at about 200 calories per day, instead of the 2000 calories my body needs in this bitter cold 24/7. Other than that, zero cal vitamin or electrolyte drinks, vitamin, and iron pills - otherwise I'm kept awake for hours by the cancer driven anemia and the resultant restless leg syndrome).
Due to the kindnesses of my sister Cathy, Beverly, Christ-ian church folk, Nicholas the Christ Mass Angel for we Homeless in DC with his huge deliveries of self-purchased warm stuff, my street friend Delbert from Texas (in the best sense, think Gomer Pyle; Forest Gump....)... I have all the warm clothing (the boots and finger-mitts are awesome, Cath), about 8 hours per day SOLAR power even on these short winter days (till 3-5 days of clouds come along :-( ), enabling me to stay productive on the computer, for now.
How long will I remain lucid, productive? Don't know. Probably MOST of the next 4 weeks or so, tho more and more I'll lose hours per day to nausea, weakness, loss of focus. Only one of my earlier Fasts, 4 years ago on Capitol Hill, was in such bitter cold, and then I had regular breaks inside. Uncharted territory for me.
My days now are spent:
1. Remaining Spiritually Powerful - that's my entire hope to us, to be a channel of Loving, the Creator, to us. (That's the only way any of us can be of use.) So, I use the Personal Trainer, daily (see 1st tab, top of page).
2. To serve TWO purposes, as an extension of point 1, I'm creating another 'book,' another Personal Trainer: "Jesus Teaching's on Living: Personal Trainer." The 2nd most important book on earth, for today (this being the 1st) is Tolstoy's "The Gospel in Brief," the writing of which
*. caused him to choose 30 more years of writing, on this subject, instead of immediate suicide, and
*. Created, from a cowardly, selfish young law student, in England, the man we know as Gandhi; and may well have created MLK Jr, as well.
A. The first purpose is to spend quality time with "Gospel in Brief," to work it further into my DNA,
B. By building a Personal Trainer (to be used daily, guided spread sheet along the lines developed for "Resurrecting Your Unviolent Warrior") I get the immersion (this is about my 9th reading of "Gospel, 3rd in a month); I create a way, like the "Resurrecting" Trainer, to work it into my bones; and a way to offer to others the ability to Train themselves.
I expect to also complete an associated Book/Trainer using Jesus' Teaching's on Living from the infinitely more widely known, but criminally adulterated, mutilated gospels - I'll use the Catholic Bible NAB.
3. A dear friend is helping me secure several more crucial books for the LIBRARY, and oddly you may think, that takes hours per day of my time, for the next week possibly.
4. Updating both blogs, especially Start Loving, so it is as good, complete, accesible a repository of what I've come to Understand and Value, as possible, to share with you, or those who come after, as well as I can.
Completing any of this will depend on what my body does.
How will this all end for my body? Don't know. The cancer is killing me from one end, for sure without the 6 months of chemo, I'm told, tho mercifully, since I've healed from the surgery, I remain symptom free so far, as long as I take the daily iron pills for the anemia (tho the major incision is still seeping a little, after 5 weeks?). The Ecocide's Death, Fast, is killing me from the other end. (No. What's Killing me is that we all sit watching Ecocide go unstoppable, and DO NOTHING.) In DC, tho my choice is to be allowed to have the Death Fast take my last breath in 40-60 days time; doubtful with all the security here in DC that that will be allowed. Institutionalization in St. E's Mental Hospital is my guess after I refuse calories when hospitalized weeks from now; a Living Death institutionalized, for the rest of what months I have before the Cancer has it's way. (St. E's probably won't be quite as comfortable, kind, Loving... LOL, as the hospice (Joseph's House, run by the same folks as run the Christ-ian Christ House that was so instrumental to my recovering from my November 30th cancer surgery, removing 2 of the tumors, and 1/3 of my colon); St. E's won't be quite as nice as what I was envisioning after I got the cancer diagnosis and realized that stopping the Vigil here at the Canadian Embassy, 24/7 7 months now, was out of the question; but before I received (thank God!!!) the vision of the Ecocide's Death Fast as a much better way to spend my Life!!! No matter. St. E's it is likely to be, not Joseph's House. Hmmm.
Oh, the specter of the Pr. Obama Inaugural Jan 21 hangs over my plans a bit. I may be forced, or may simply choose, to accept Hospitality and maybe up/back transportation from Philly friends for the days immediately before and after. Have to see what develops.
Well, I had zero idea that this long update Post was coming. But, here it is.
Massive emails from me yesterday to a select few - it was a HUGE news and Revelation day for me.
NOTE: I expect to do little of that outbound emailing going forward, knowing that those that care about this Campaign will Subscribe to the daily update email from this blog - see the little window at the far right of this page toward the top, where you anonymously put in your email address. Blogger / Google securely handles the rest.
With much Joy, and even a tiny bit of Hope for our Kids,
Loving (Pickles, TFC, LOL. Inside joke.)
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