'I think my dad spared my life, because I was kind, occasionally.' Loving

I've shared recently, that I have been Truly puzzled why my Saint of a dad didn't have me killed.  I mean it. 

Today, my Birthday Month, an acquaintance from high school, said 'happy bday.'  I replied how kind I found him.  He replied instantly, that he found me kind, when he needed it.  That in fact, 'made an impact on' his life.

His reply to my comment he was kind:  "as you were !!! i was heavily bullied in High School --cuz i was a nerd but you were always friendly and fair to me ---never forgot that ..made an impact on my life actually !!!

I replied:  "Truly, I have no idea why my dad, the kindest, most Loving human I've ever known, I don't know why he didn't have me killed. I'm not kidding. I feel no guilt, I did the best I knew (inescapable, for all of us), but oh God, I cringe at my total uselessness, total self-absorption by any and all earthly scales. But Friend, maybe you just gave me an insight into why he didn't have me put to death, but rather lavished unconditional love on me I've found incomprehensible to this very moment. Maybe he saw that at times, massively rare tho they could be, I could be genuinely 'good,' I could be genuinely 'kind.' Truly, what you just shared is quite valuable to me, a 'key' to my past, and my dad, that I'd been missing. Be well friend. Loving