Through sobs of wonder, at the Goodness:
My
sister SC has literally kept me alive physically, kept me from totally
drowning financially for my work, and physically kept me alive from earlier hunger strikes. I may well not have made it this far without
her, and her clan.
Now,
a new sister, that I've known a long, long, long time. But in recent
months she has come underneath my work like, well, like my Saint dad
was. [Why he didn't let me die, or have me killed, I'll never know.
Seriously. I was the most hideous zero of a spoiled, selfish, cowardly
child that has ever walked the earth. He MUST have seen something. I can't think of any other explanation. A Miracle.]
But, per the note below from my sister, below, the granite support, the granite
foundation, the 'Total Trust,' which I would rather die than be not
worthy of - this is a first, in 10 years of joyfully giving every single
breath for our global neediest Family, I've got full oxygen; financial
support - wifi, solar electricity, computer taken care of; no worries. YOU
HAVE NO FRICKIN IDEA. YOU CAN'T IMAGINE.
Yes
sister. For the first time in the ten or so years I've racing, warring
unviolently, for our global neediest, every breath, I don't feel like I'm on 10% of
the oxygen that one needs. I can breathe. For a moment at least, I'm off the psychological water-boarding of my work.
As
I reported yesterday, I'm on a 50% glide path toward death's door - 800
calories measured, per day - half rations (1 can soup @ 400 calories
(ckn corn chowder today), and 2 cans Ensure at 200 cal each). The
clinic, Unity Health Care for the homeless, no questions asked, from God, is 7 blocks away. I go in
Wednesday for the results of the recent blood work, and I'm hopeful of
them weighing me periodically; results I'd report out. I was 9 lbs over
weight, 164 lbs, several days ago.
While on the 50% downward slope I expect to count and report days as 4B, yesterday, and 4B, today.
Ever
since I saw Denzel Washington's "John Q" years ago I've found it deeply
troubling, deeply courageous as a movie, and profoundly enlightening
and wise. But only in recent weeks has it come really central to my
understanding of where we are.
The F*CKING DOCTORS AND BUREACRATS
(Brown, Romm, McKibben, Chu, Obama...) WON'T EVEN TELL US WHAT THE
TREATMENT PLAN AND TIME FRAMES ARE TO SAVE OUR NEXT 200 BILLION CHILDREN. TOTAL DIS-EMPOWERMENT!!!! WITHOUT THIS KNOWLEDGE OUR BALLS ARE CUT OFF!!!!
NO.
THIS WILL NOT STAND. With "Global Warming's Death. Fast." I took
major steps toward this, but I cannot leave you, I cannot pass on until
I've plugged the remaining holes.
John
Q became the force of, AN EMPOWERED VOLCANO OF HOPE FOR, the agent of salvation for
his beloved child when he knew the Treatment Required, and the Time
Frame required. HE DIDN'T NEED TO TAKE ONE STEP TOWARD BECOMING A HEART
DOCTOR. But he knew what he had to do to get the system to save his
son. And he did it.
Year
after year, decade after decade this is precisely what I've done in
life and death situations, and I'll do it again now, and leave it with
you all before I go - A TREATMENT PLAN, TIMEFRAMES. I'll give you all what you need, tho you have 80% of it from me already, but I'll finish the job, before I go, Creator willing.
Already, it is up to you now, but I'll finish my part for you.
Loving (what I go by; what I have ALL hope in. Nothing less from any of us, can save humanity now.)
-----------------------
Good Morning Loving, (received today)
Just finished your last
video about Brian. So sorry about the turn of events for him and hear
your profound concern and committment toward assisting him. There are
absolutely no strings attached to any funds I put in your account.....I
totally trust you to act as your heart believes it should. Please do not
sell your solar panels as they are crucial to you....and I need to know
if they flake out on you permanently, as I would assist in replacement
for you.....
I plan to make another deposit
in your account.....so....I am hoping this will give assistance and some
sense of assurance, not sure that's the right word...but anyway....
XO Your sister
On Sun, Aug 12, 2012 at 5:12 PM, Start Loving <start_loving@yahoo.com> wrote:
- Major video logs today. Transcriptions in process.
- If I understand correctly Brian has lost his funding. If this means his planned trip cross country by bus can't happen, Loving can't allow that. Until I know otherwise, all the assets at my disposal are at his disposal for the trip to take place fully, and uninterrupted. I have a solar battery that can immediately go on ebay and should get $200. Maybe a solar panel for $200, if it is working and stable; and IF SHE DOES NOT OBJECT, funds given me yesterday by one of my 4 friends will be available IF NEEDED, for Brian's trip, UNLESS I HEAR FROM MY FRIEND IMMEDIATELY. IMMEDIATELY.
- Hopefully the problem with the solar equipment here has been figured out. I should know tomorrow.
- Among the video logs with transcripts are several dealing with my assertion that the Aim of the Death Fast is $311/ton of co2. I'm horrified by the lack of clarity from the intelligentsia on this. It was a failure of calculation on my part. No, $311 is incorrect. So, I revert for now to $240 per ton as the properly calculated cost to achieve the 6% reduction per year of emissions from current projections, Hansen, sufficient to keep us below 1.5 degrees C - Hell and High Water. HOWEVER, a central project for me now is to ballpark what a Human, Humane, Honest projection of the $$$ destruction of the world economy for the next 1000 generations is. My first try came up with $11,000 per ton. Current world economy is $70 trillion. Times 1000 years - what we are destroying, is $70,000 trillion. What remains to ball-park cost to humanity of each ton burned now, that I as a father of 200 billion kids needs to know, how many tons do we have left to burn before going past 1.5 degrees C is 15% likely or more (tell me if you have an estimate). With that I think I can ball-park the wreckage cost to humanity, for myself, as a father of the 200 billion who will be living in that world.
- I'm more outraged than ever, as a Father, of how gutless the experts are at telling us what we as Parents, Grandparents need to know. If this were the movie John Q, they wouldn't even have the guts to tell John what treatment was required and when it was required by. Criminal.
- Health update, recap - one of the videos covers that.
Loving
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