This Friend of 3 years now, contacted me after a several month pause that I thought might be permanent:
Well, I'm very predictable. I feel great Joy, and astonishment, in hearing from you. Not that you should care, but I feel great Love, and amazement toward you.
I find great Joy in your words about you and I are both fighting the Beast - that is extremely helpful and encouraging language for me to understand you better.
I don't need you to read on. I've fabricated none of it for you, but I've allowed to pour forth what is in me recently, because I find it of immense value, it pertains to my caring for you, but you may find it mean, disrespectful.... You won't, I know that by now. Amazing. Nor do I EVER find beliefs that you have that I may find abhorrent, horrifying, heartbreaking - hurtful. You don't hold your beliefs to inflict pain on me any more than I do to you. Quite the opposite.
I sleep on the steps of a church immediately adjacent to the north side of the White House property - you probably walked past it when you were in DC. I get a warm plate of food every night from a food for the homeless truck that comes to McPherson park, about 3 blocks from there, about 5:45, eat, and then repair to those church steps, work for several hours, then sleep till the next morning, scurrying away like a roach before the church folk arrive.
Wednesday evenings two different church groups come to give stuff to the homeless - sandwiches from one, cooked meal from another. I settle in and work anyway. The sandwich folks, several guys from a suburban church start up, have, to our mutual gladness spoken with me at length the last 3 wednesdays, an hour or more each time. As with you and I, we've been fully open with each other, but it is really hard to get down to understanding each other's beliefs -it takes a long, long, long time, I'm not sure why - unrecognized assumptions - plays a big part in the delay; as you and I continually find, at least, I do. This last Wednesday was the first I understood in the least that Brian, very nice fellow, believes as you do I think, that the Bible is inerrant, every word true, every word from God. As I do with you, I find much Goodness in him, none the less. I doubt our dialog will continue much longer - too big a chasm on that one issue alone, but I've found our discussion very stimulating, especially yielding these two revelations for me in my subsequent pondering:
* Imagine that Donald Trump, one of Satan's guys, wins a 10 billion dollar lottery. He'd be happy, right? Not if he reacted as 'christian's' have to Jesus GOOD NEWS, religion of Brotherhood, Universal Family, Insane Humanity.... No, if Trump received the lottery winning like the 'church' has - oh, he'd ask, 'ok, multi billion dollar payout, but what's the REALLY good news? And, well, is the billions from Satan himself? I don't want it if it is not. And, do I get to live in his kingdom after I die, I have little interest in the 10's of billions if not.... My point is, Jesus teaching, His Religion - Brotherhood, Universal Family, the Heart as Our Father's Kingdom - and these are what His teachings clearly say - My God, that's the 10 billion, trillion, quadrillion dollar lottery!!!!! And yet, the 'church,' 'christians,' 'jw's'... Oh, yeah, we kinda believe that too, but now let's talk about the REALLY important stuff - Inerrant, old testament, old t, ot, ot, ot, revelations, yadda, yadda, yadda.... What? Brotherhood, Universal Family, Insane Humanity... THIS IS DIVINE, HOLY, COMPLETE, THE PEARL OF INESTIMABLE VALUE - except not to the church, christians, jw's.... And you all may be right. But every fiber of me, every day of experience in 60 years, says to me you are wrong in all this, well intended some of you, like I know you are, but Dead wrong.
* ""The external worship of God cannot be combined with works of love. The old teaching of the external worship of God cannot be combined with my teaching of works of love to one's neighbor." The Gospel in Brief, Tolstoy. I've known and adored the Truth of this and Tolstoy's complete translation for many years, but only after my last dialog with Brian did it hit me how unavoidably true it is. Jesus religion, Brotherhood, Universal Family, by whatever name, IS A RELIGION OF THE HEART, that domain of our nervous system - inerrancy of the bible, endless reading, and reading, and reading, and talking, and teaching of old test, old test, revelations, old test... rules, do this, don't do that, InerrancyYADDA, YADDA, YADDA. Duh. Huh? Joe, ALL THIS MAY BE CORRECT!!!!! IF SO, GOD IS A MEAN, NASTY, TWISTED, EGOCENTRIC CREATURE THAT CREATED US TO 'SEE' TRUTH, IF WE TRIED REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HARD, BUT BUILT A RELIGION ON MUTILATING, TWISTING, CRIPPLING, TORTURING.... THAT SAME ABILITY. That's just not how it is.
In a world crippled by such dogmatic, horrible religions of the Head and Flesh, forever, Jesus gave us GOOD NEWS! Be like a child (uh, did he say bible scholar? Scribe? Pharisee? Uh, no - child) and enter in. To me there are three, unmistakable 'bottom lines,' totalities of his Teachings - TOTALITIES!!!!!!!!!!! THE WHOLE GOSPEL!!!!
* 'The parable of the Good Samaritan' - wasn't a Jew, didn't know the old testament, didn't believe in the judeo christian god, didn't know jesus... but was held up by Jesus as an Icon of His Religion of Universal Brotherhood. -
* 'Whoever will sit at my right hand, and my left hand, is not for me to say. Whoever is the servant of ALLLLLLLLLLLL.' Did he forget the parts about bible scholar, old testament scholar, believing in the juedeo christian god, holy spirit.... Maybe. I find that a murderous, horrible, deadly idea.
* 'I'm gunna make it real simple for you - 1. Love God (all of Creation, and the Creative powers thereof) with your whole mind, heart, soul..., and 2. Love your Brother as yourself." UNIVERSAL FAMILY.
Ok, everyone for the last 1800 years says - uh, there is a grain of truth in all that, yeah, it is important, BUT NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THE IMPORTANT STUFF... YADDA, YADDA, YADDA.....
Oh my God Joe. It makes my head explode, and Jesus' too.
STOP BEING CHRISTIANS. START BEING CHRISTIAN!!!!!!!!! I HEAR HIM SCREAMING AT US!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP TALKING, STOP TEACHING - JUST DO IT. GO BE FAMILY, TO THE LEAST OF THESE. SHUT UP! DO IT, I hear Him screaming!!!! BE LIKE A CHILD, AND ENTER IN!!!!!!!
Brother, I have no thought of convincing you. Just this morning a thought that has often played in my mind came to a much higher clarity as I was awakening. Jesus imagery of 'Fisherman.' Yes, I've know I was right, but I wasn't seeing how totally correct it is. I'm closer this morning. Jesus always conducted himself that way, because among men, nothing else is as productive. The only productive way is to throw in the lure, the Gospel, wait a bit, see if there are bites, notice if there are not. If yes, keep fishing there. If not, dive in and try to convince the fish to bite. :-) No, it can't be done, the fish are 'alive' and see it, and bite, or they don't. There is no convince. It can't happen. If they are 'dead,' it they don't 'see,' if they don't bite, move on, and try again. Sow, sow, sow....
I Love you, and am amazed by you, no matter what. I LOVE THE LOVE IN YOU, THE BROTHERHOOD, THE COURAGE IN YOU. I hate that it is so much covered up by all the other stuff, for you, and for the world. Oh well.
Loving your forever, no matter what,
sl
ps: This was as much a surprise to me yesterday, as it could be
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