"'What got SL here? I grew up in a war zone. I wanted to die many nights." SL

"'What got SL here?  
I grew up in a war zone. 
I wanted to die many nights."  SL

I Adored my mother.  My poor, desperately sick
younger sister had her constantly under massive
psychological, viciously hostile, SCREAMING attack.
I totally didn't know what to do TO MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(And now I weep at the recollection.)
Violence (non-Loving) was not within me;
Nor was a REMOTELY sufficient
capacity or competence for Tough-Loving.
I just didn't know how, had not undergone the training.

I've been unwilling to remain incapable, incompetent.

My TOTAL AND COMPLETE HORROR at
war / NEEDLESS SUFFERING is ever more acute,
as is my recognition that it IS THE TOTALLY WRONG ANSWER.