Oh, so often over the last five years since Chester I have been pleading with our Father, begging him, BEGGING HIM:
Father? You have given me so many gifts to share - courage, compassion, vision, hunger to act, hunger to serve, articulation, wisdom, independence, technical skills, leadership abilities.... PLEASE GIVE ME A PLATFORM THAT CAN ENABLE ME TO BE OF SOME SERVICE WITH THESE GIFTS.
The only great psychiatrists/psychologists in their own way entirely predict this deep, overwhelming yearning among all humans that have not been brutally dehumanized / pathologized - Maslow, Adler, Csikszentmihilyi, Rogers. But in this case Frankl comes to mind:
"Man's Search for meaning is the primary motivation in his life and not a 'secondary rationalization' of instinctual drives. This meaning is unique and specific in that it must and can be fulfilled by him alone; only then does it achieve a significance which will satisfy his own will to meaning... Man, however, is able to live and even to die for the sake of his ideals and values!" Holocaust survivor, psychiatrist Dr. Victor Frankl (Man's Search For Meaning)
The last time I had such a platform was as school counselor at Columbus Elementary in Chester, PA. Possibly the largest, lowest performing elementary school in the country. Possibly the most important work I've ever done in my life was there, voluntarily 2-4 hours per day cleaning all scraps of mountains of trash from the grounds before students and staff arrived in the morning. It was an enormous lift to the 1,200 students and 100 or more staff members. I never thought I could be so FULFILLED - WELL USED again.
DARFUR HUNGER STRIKE - SUDAN EMBASSY - EMBASSY ROW - MASS. AVE CORRIDOR - WASHINGTON POST ARTICLE.
This is quite a cross: I'm sure I have never been so physically suffering as the 4th-12th hour of marching, and the next 8 hours attempting to rest with joints that are just screaming.
This is quite a cross: The agony of my Western brothers and sisters with their brutally and cruelly starved, grotesque and emaciated Hearts. The agony of my spiritually and materially starved masses worldwide.
A reporter from a Spanish twice weekly paper interviewed me the other day. "You have taken the whole world on your shoulders," he observed. That thought had never occurred to me. I have, with no expectation of succeeding, but every desire to give my life to the attempt.
THE CROSS IS AGONY. YOU DON'T WANT TO SHARE YOUR CROSS. IT IS A BENEVOLENT GREED. "THIS IS MY OPPORTUNITY TO SERVE; I'VE PRAYED FOR IT. THANK GOD I'VE GOT IT. I WANT EVERY SPECK OF IT."
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