I think I'll fail. I think I'll always keep trying this approach.

I'm not sure why I find this story so useful, but I have and do: Jos. Lister discovered that contamination on scalpels was causing massive amounts of death, in the 1870's is when he made his discovery I think. He saw with certainty the death of unsterilized tools. IT TOOK HIM UNTIL THE EARLY 1900's BEFORE ANYONE WOULD LISTEN. He could have given up trying to convince people. Who could have blamed him?

What I am doing -

• standing up for "the least of these my brothers,
• "doing unto others ALL that I would have them do unto me,"
• attempting to "live just like Jesus lived,"
• "lay down my life for my brother,"
• "Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven..."
• Hunger Strike as the Weapon of Mass Therapy...

...This is Life. There is nothing else that is Life. That we have grown up in a culture that has almost totally eradicated the circuits within us that recognize and practice this makes the need for me to live as I am living, to "be" the "Bread of Life" the best I am able, ALL THE MORE NECESSARY AND URGENT, DEMANDING AND EXCITITING AND INVITING.

If I am given 1 more month or 4 more decades I suspect every breath will be spent practicing the above for the intent of spreading the Life-type, for spreading Revolutionary Brotherhood, to Start Loving, and for the Live / Love / Joy / Peace of it.

This is a shocking revelation for me in light of:

• The pain, intensity, duration, and saturation per minute per day of my Serving in Solidarity from my Soul which is more intense than ever before, and
• The lack of "success" in any foreseeable future is more apparent to me than ever before.

I should feel extremely discouraged. I feel more certain of the need and more resolved than ever.

I also feel what I have long hoped to feel and see clearly. "ANYONE THAT DOESN'T LIVE AS IS AM LIVING IS NUTS! THIS IS LIFE!!! THIS IS LIVING, MAN!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS LIFE, NOTHING ELSE IS. I KNOW. I'VE TRIED IT ALL.