I Testify, my life, my entire life, my Life of recent is absolute proof of the Truth of the Divinity (Absolute Correctness) of Jesus teachings and almost all of the New Testament):
I absolutely can't imagine that I will live past the next 20-40 days. Bashir's heart will not soften that fast, and after 140 days of hunger strike and restricted calorie fast since May 06 my body isn't going to last much longer I think.
I have never, never been so happy - moment to moment, day after day.
My body has rarely been so sick and tortured. It took me three hours the other night, in front of the Sudan Embassy, to get into my sleeping bag and seat, all assembled, everything in order. I'd do a little then pass out from the exhaustion and nausea. Do a little more... etc. Repeat. Three hours. It was wild!
My body is absolutely tortured and rebelling from having to be upright, sitting 24 hours per day. My hip joints scream, my back screams, my toes scream, my side screams. No, not each segment all the time. They do a great job of tag teaming. Last night was the worst - about 2-3 hours sleep.
I am not the most Joyful, most Alive in my life because of this suffering, but despite it.
I have never been so aligned with Life, in the service of Life.
You may know by now that I try very hard to hold myself accountable to the likes of King, Gandhi, Jesus, Our Father, Mandella, Steve Beko, Dellinger...and you, my inner family. I spend as much as hours every day imagining what they want me to do at this time in the face of the Darfur Genocide. I'm getting hugs from them for what I am doing! Our Father and Jesus have kissed me! Twice! Hmmmm. Steve Beko? He smiles but says, keep on young man. You've got quite a ways to go to get hugs from me.
"From my Soul, in Solidarity, Serving." I bring this all important model to mind, to heart and the pain and suffering virtually vanish, and stay banished from my consciousness. I become the shattered mother with her child in her arms focusing all of her attention on her, on our Darfur brothers and sisters.
Obviously people, obviously we need to give our lives to stop the Darfur Genocide. The very Humanity of the Planet is at stake. It is not my responsibility that currently 1000's of us don't see this. I do see this need of us, and I have the privilege to go and to die on this Cross of Human Selfishness for my Darfur Family, for my global family. For you.
Well, this is exactly where Jesus was. This is exactly were Jesus tried to lead me, and you. There is no greater love than to lay down your life for your brother. You must lose your life to win your life.
It is sheer madness, sheer clinical loss of humanity on a global scale that 1000's of us are not doing this.
What could one soldier, alone, do in Iraq? More than zero, and less than the 10's of thousands we have there.
You cannot imagine the Joy. You cannot imagine the experience of participating in the service of Life, of Darfur, of Humanity.
My regrets of any consequence? That I will not survive to do the same hunger strike to the death for Chester, PA. That I will not through my efforts stop the Genocide. That I will not by myself save humanity which is locked on a course for Armageddon of the spirit and of the body as well. That I haven't Saved you. That I can't save our 13 children starving per minute, Haiti, Jamaica, Palestine, Congo, S. Africa Aids orphans, Katrina victims, Camden victims....
Small regrets. I'll miss you, terribly. I'll miss Gerry's hot spaghetti. I do already.
Oh that I had 100o's of lives to give.
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